Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

An Imperfect Life

By Midnight Dreamer

Chapter 30: What do I do now?

(JPOV)

Seattle is beautiful. I never really had time to look at it. Most of the time I was being dragged from store to store with Alice. Bella would never do that. She would take the time to appreciate her surroundings. The colors of the city, the smells around her, the sounds of people walking and talking, cars honking. To see the wonder in her eyes as she takes it all in. Her smile, her laugh. I wonder what she is doing now? Did Simon tell her that I left and the reason why? Is she doing the same thing I am right now?

Yes Jasper she is! And your both driving me mental.

Wait. What?

You heard me. Since I speak to the two of you most often this way it has caused a kind of mental link between the three of us. So everything that runs through your head also runs through mine. I don’t think Bella is connected to you just yet because you haven’t talked as much this way.

Oh thank you I was starting to panic. So she is doing the same thing too!

Did I just not say she was?

Yeah you did. It was kind of rhetorical.

I see. So have you come to a decision yet?

No not really. It has only been 24 hours though.

True. But one question.

Shoot.

Who have you thought about most so far?

I guess Bella.

You guess or you have?

Okay I have.

And how do you feel about this?

I thought you said only one question.

I lied.

I see that. Okay I don’t know exactly how I feel about that.

Think long and hard about just Bella for a while and let me know what you come up with. Not like I won’t already hear it but it will make you feel better if you told me about it rather then just letting me ease drop.

Good point now get out of my head.

Sure thing.

Wow! Bella is thinking of me the same way. Maybe she is confused too. I know she doesn’t love Edward the same way as before. Oh god Edward is probably devastated. I hope Alice will console him. I wonder if he told her yet? Oh well. Simon said to think about how I feel about Bella. So here it goes.

She is smart and beautiful. She is considerate and caring. She always puts everyone before herself. Her smile lights up whatever room she is in. Her very presence in a room makes everyone feel lighter. Her laughter is contagious, you can’t help but laugh with her. She can hold her own in a fight and won’t back down. She is protective of her family and the people she cares about. She loves everyone unconditionally. Even me! She loves me? Wow she does love me. Do I love her? And in what context do I love her? I feel protective of her, but I always have. She trusts me with her secrets and feelings(sometimes). I trust her with mine. She knows who I am, I have told her the stories and yet she is not afraid. She has seen my scars and doesn’t turn away or recoil like Alice did and still does. That kiss was definitely passionate. I could feel it radiating off of her whether she knew it or not. I do like that she hides her feelings sometimes. It’s nice not to feel overwhelmed by someone else’s emotions for a change. I can’t wait to be with her. I feel so relaxed around her. Like nothing matters but us. Maybe I do love her? I think I love her more then just the sisterly love like before. I wonder why it has changed all of a sudden. Maybe it was the stress of losing her when she was kidnapped or the feelings that welled up inside me when I saw her there in Russia with Simon on the platform. Or it could be linked to that incredible kiss that turned my world right side up and stop spinning when she was in my arms. I can’t wait to feel her in my arms again. I can’t wait to get home to Bella. Wait Bella! Not Alice. I do love Bella. I LOVE BELLA!

Simon? You there?

Yeah kid. What can I do for you?

I LOVE BELLA!

No I wouldn’t have guessed it.

Sarcasm is not very becoming on you Simon. Leave the snide come backs to Bella she is much better at it.

I know but I couldn’t help myself. Spending so much time with Bella is rubbing off on me. How do you guys keep your state of mind around her. She is so carefree and happy. Yet some of you are still so moody and depressing.

Ggggrrrrrr

Oh chillax Jasper I was just saying.

Sorry Simon it’s just a reflex. I’m not used to all this yet.

I know kid I know. Just wait till you come home tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Why can’t I come home today?

Oh you’ll see. But promise me one thing.

Simon. I don’t have time for games, or the patience. What is going on?

I’m not telling you. You will have to wait till you get home. But you have to promise me that you can remain calm when you get here or I will put you out.

Now I’m worried. Is Bella alright? Did she get hurt? Did someone hurt her? What is going on Simon?

Calm down. Bella is Fine. She is at home baking. I guess she does that when she is thinking. Emmett said she does it when she is worried to. But she won’t let me see inside her head to see what she is worried about.

What? You can’t get in her head? She is worried? Oh god what have I done. I shouldn’t have left. Maybe she thinks I ran from her.

No Jasper she doesn’t. I think she is more worried about what you will do when you come home. About the not getting in her head, I think she is using her shield to protect her thoughts like she does when Edwards around. Before she did it with out knowing it. Now that she knows it’s there, she can control it.

Smart one isn’t she.

Go ahead gloat about it. Personally I think it sucks I feel at a disadvantage. None of my other descendants got any of my powers.

Ah but you see Simon, Bella is special. She is like no one I have ever met before. Or Carlisle for that matter. Have you?

Now that I think about it, no Jasper I haven’t. How did she react when she found out you were vampires?

Really well actually. She figured something was different about us, but couldn’t put her finger on it. Emmett is actually the one that pieced it together and then we told him what we are and he thought that was just the coolest thing ever. But you know Emmett, he takes everything in stride. He told Edward to tell her but he never really got around to it. Emmett told her when they went on vacation…

Yes Jasper I know all that I read it in her thoughts. Her prank was rather entertaining to watch from her perspective.

Yeah I guess it was once I was let in on it.

She is one very unique woman isn’t she.

Yes she is. Her emotions rule her to a point and she feels very deeply about many things. Her emotions can often bring me to my knees.

That Jasper is because she is also an empath. A much stronger one at that.

Uh?

She is stronger because her blood is linked with mine. I too have empathic abilities. She can feel everything you feel and project much farther then you can.

Damn. My girl is awesome.

Your girl?

Oh shut it Simon.

*chuckles*

Okay so I will be home first thing tomorrow morning?

Yes Jasper first thing. I will let you surprise everyone. I won’t tell them you are coming. Come to the house first! Then you can go see Bella.

But..

No buts Jasper straight home first.

Yes Father dearest! *snickers*

Wise ass. See you tomorrow.

So tomorrow I go home and talk to Bella. I miss her. I wonder what Simon is hiding from me. Oh well I guess I will see tomorrow, but for right now I need to go hunt.

(BPOV)

Jasper has been gone all of 24 hours and I miss him already. I wonder what he is doing this very minute. Is he thinking about me? Does he know how much I miss him? It hurts in my heart to know he is gone. But he will be home tomorrow right? I hope he isn’t gone long. I want him to come home but I am worried that when he does he will see what is going on and then leave again for good this time. I don’t think I could live with out him. Just thinking about him leaving again hurts. I have figured out how to keep Simon from in my head. My shield worked on Edward when I wasn’t even trying to block him, so if I thought about it I could use it to keep Simon out. I don’t want him to know how worried I am about this. I want Jazz to make his own mind up on what is going on and choose to stay with me. I don’t want to force his hand. What if he still loves Alice.

 I know Simon said that it wouldn’t happen the soul mate bond is too strong but…hey I wonder why Simon doesn’t have a soul mate? I know he has loved his human lovers but why has he never settled down with a vampire mate. Maybe once everything is settled down around here and he gets back from Italy we can start searching for someone for him. I hope he will stick around awhile. I will need help cataloging and using all my new abilities. If I am half as strong as he is, I am definitely going to need the help. I wonder when I should tell everyone about me and Simon. I know they all probably think I left Edward for him. I don’t think Edward would tell them about Jasper. He will probably think it is one sided and that Jasper will stay with Alice but I don’t know anymore. They have been drifting apart for a while now.

I can tell when Simon is trying to weasel his way into my head, I feel a slight tugging on my shield but nothing to bad. I have this strange sensation around my heart every now and then. I wonder if it has to do with Jasper? Maybe I should ask Simon. I wonder if I can still shield my worries and talk to Simon? Oh well here we go.

Simon

Yes Bella?

I have some questions to ask you.

Okay spill. I have been dying to get into your brain for hours now.

Not so fast. I’m still not letting you in that far but I do have some concerns that I would like to discuss with you.

Fine.

Oh don’t pout, your to old for that, it doesn’t work on me anyway ask Emmett.

Alright fine. Speak.

Okay so I know you have been trying to get into my head I can feel you tugging on my shield is that normal?

Yes. Next.

I get this occasional warming sensation around my heart every now and then, does it have anything to do with Jasper?

Yes.

Explain. Please.

It is the connection between the two. You can feel when he is thinking about you , talking about you…yadda yadda yadda.

Oh. What else?

Well once you to have joined completely you will also know how he is feeling with out using your abilities. You will know when he’s happy, sad, mad, hurt…etc.

Wow. Really?

Yes. Next question.

Okay. How long are you planning on sticking around?

Uh…

Simon be honest with me. Are you planning on sticking around for a while or are you just going to disappear like you did with all your other kids?

Oh Bella. I don’t want you to think about that. I did what I thought was best and I don’t regret any of it. As for sticking around…I don’t know honestly.

Will you be returning here after you leave Italy?

I haven’t thought that far ahead.

Are you going to help me with my abilities or do I just have to figure this all out on my own?

Bella are you getting angry with me?

Yes Simon I am. I don’t like feeling this way. My parents were both taken from me. I was kidnapped by a delusional vampire. I find that the only family I have left besides Emmett is a vampire. That I have all these abilities because of said vampire. My first boyfriend was a mind reading vampire, my best friend is a vampire, the true love of my life is a vampire. So yes Simon I guess you could say I have some abandonment issues when it comes to family. I realize that all the movie monsters and nightmare creatures are all real and that I too am one of them and the only person who can explain all of this to me just wants to up and leave me when I need them the most. Yeah I’m a little pissed off.

I’m so sorry Bella.

Don’t tell me your sorry. Instead why not try sticking around and deal with this. Don’t run away this time. Would it honestly be such a big deal to stay with your FAMILY!

I don’t know what to say Bella. This is all new for me. I have never had a descendant seek me out. Nor did I get to know them. None of my other children have ever had any of my abilities. You are the first. Everything about you is different. Bella you don’t understand how special you are. I would love to stick around and get to know you more and help you with your powers, I just didn’t think you would want me around.

*sobbing* Oh Simon. How could you ever think anything like that. You are my family. I would go to the ends of the earth and back for you if the occasion called for it. I would walk through the fires of hell to keep you safe. Please say you will stay. You belong here. *sniffles*

Bella I would hug you right now if you weren’t a couple of miles away. Of course I will stay. You know Jasper was right. Your emotions are much stronger then anyone I have ever met.

*sniffling* Yo…You spoke to Jasper?

Yes Bella I spoke with him earlier.

You didn’t say anything to him about what is going on around here did you?

I circled it. He was more worried about you though. I told him you were blocking me and he wanted to know why. He was going to come home tonight but I told him to wait till tomorrow.

Good. I wouldn’t want him to see me like this. I don’t even want to be around that house when he gets there tomorrow. He is going to flip.

I know. You won’t be anywhere near here when he gets home I made sure of that. However I ask that you be prepared for anything. I don’t know what he will do or how he will react. His future is all mucky right now. I think it is tied to you cause yours is all mucky right now too. So until you two figure out where your paths lead you, I don’t think I will be able to see what is going to happen. Not that I like to look but hey I was curious.

I understand that completely. I would love to know what is going to happen tomorrow too. I guess we will just have to wait and see huh?

Yes Bella and that right there will be the hard part.

I hate hiding things from Jasper. But I know he has to see this for himself. He will never fully be able to move forward if he doesn’t.

I know that child. But for now we will just have to wait and see. Now was there anything else you needed or wanted to ask me.

Yeah actually there was. Why did you never settle down with a vampire mate. Or look for you soul mate?

Wow I see why you saved that one for last! Honestly I don’t know why. I just never had the urge I guess. No one ever caught my eye, or maybe I should say heart.

Well maybe when things get back to normal?

Normal?

Alright you got me there but still I think you should seriously think about settling down. I have plenty of room at my house for you to live and even your mate if you should find one. I know Rosie has been thinking about turning Emmett and he would most likely stay with her so I will have this large house all to myself. Would you consider that?

Oh Bella you are too good for your own good. I see why everyone loves you so. I would be honored to stay with you.

So then it’s settled. After you return from Italy you will live here with me and Emmett. Then we will work on settling you in with your forever love.

If that is what will make you happy then so be it.