Atonement
By BetterInTexas
Chapter 06:
BPOV
“Mom?”
“Be….Bella?”
Her voice when she said hello. I forgot the sound of her voice.
“Yeah Mom. It’s me.” I said quietly. Almost as if I raised my voice she may run away.
“Bella… your voice, it sounds like you but… is it really you? You’re alive? He wasn’t lying. Your alive baby?”
I’m really not was the first thing that popped in my head before I could stop it. I wouldn’t dump my problems onto her.
“I’m alive Mom. I’m okay.”
“Bella, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let you go to him to make me feel better. I should have stayed with you. I should have been a better mother. I was horrible Bella. Look what it has cost you.”
She was crying heavily now. I began sobbing. The sound of her in tears tore my heart. My mother. My best friend. We took care of each other. I taught her to be responsible. I tried anyway. She taught me to lighten up. She tried anyway.
“Please don’t cry Mommy.” I whispered. I don’t know why I said that. I hadn’t called her mommy since I was five years old.
“Bella, I’m so sorry. I was selfish. I…”
“Enough Mom. I’m alive. I… I would have called you but Mom…” I took a deep breath.
“I’ve done things Mom. I’ve done terrible things.” My voice felt so small. I wanted to crawl into her arms and confess everything.
“Bella, Garrett told me everything. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for this baby.”
“I should have ran, Mom. I should have ran from him. I should have gone back to you. I never should have gotten involved in this world. Now people are dead.”
“You were on your own Bella! I know. Garrett told me what it’s like. You never had a chance.”
“Neither did the people I killed Mom.”
“Bella that is not your fault!”
“I killed them Mom. I held their dead bodies.”
“Yes and it is a tragedy. Each one of those deaths. But that bitch left you alone knowing it would happen. That was her, baby. Not you. You know you never would have done that if you could help it. Bella if you could have done that,you wouldn’t hurt so badly now. Killers do not feel guilt Bella.”
I sat down.
“Mom? What did you do?”
“I don’t… it doesn’t…”
“Mom?”
“I took pills. A lot of pills and a lot of alcohol Bella.” She said quietly.
“Why?” I nearly killed her too.
“Because I gave you up. You offered to move and I didn’t try to talk you out of it. I began thinking of the damn places I could see with Phil. You know what I saw Bella? Fucking baseball fields in towns nobody has ever heard of. I let you go. Then you were gone. I thought forever. I wanted to be where you were. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to hold you and listen to you tell me to stay out of the kitchen. Watch you brush your hair. I wanted to be where you were Bella.”
“Mom, you have to swear to me to never try that again. Please. Please Mom? I’m begging you.”
She said nothing.
“Bella if something…”
“No Mom. This is my life. It won’t be a safe one. I don’t know what Garrett told you but I could very well die. I can’t do what I need to do if I don’t know if you are going to be okay. Do you understand? Swear to me Mom.”
“I swear Bella. Can we talk whenever we want?”
“Yeah Mom. We can.”
“Can I see you? Garrett said you are so beautiful. Even more than you were.”
“Yeah Mom. I am hoping in a few weeks. I’m working hard. Do you want to know what I did yesterday?”
“I want to know everything Bella. Please tell me. I’ll sit here and shut up. I just want to listen to your voice.”
I told her about our mission. I told her about screaming when we took off and landing on the carrier. My fears about being naked on a flight deck. She actually laughed. It felt so good to hear her laugh.
“So let me get this straight. You were alone in a submarine with 40 men and you didn’t kill them. Instead you stayed and helped them get into a rescue pod? You think you are evil Bella? Can’t you see you aren’t? How could an evil person do that?”
I didn’t at the time, but…
“Mom, I didn’t kill those men. So does that mean those other people didn’t have to die? Did I just not try hard enough?”
“You have help now Bella. You were on your own before. Are those deaths my fault Bella?”
“No!”
“I let you go. If I hadn’t then you wouldn’t have been in that situation. They are as much on me as they are on you.”
“They weren’t your fault! Those were my teeth on them. Their blood in my mouth.”
“It was her fault! She did that to you and left knowing what you would do. What you had to do! She did it Bella. That damn bitch who bit you! She did it. Let it go. Let it go.”
“Mom…”
“If you are going to make me swear to live you damn sure are too.” She said with conviction.
“What… what do you mean?”
“You get out there and you save as many people as you can. Don’t do it because you feel like you have to balance a scale that doesn’t belong to you. Do it because it’s who you are. You are a caring, warm woman Bella. You have been given something that could be very bad or very good. You are going to make it good because it’s who you are.
You can’t change those people’s deaths. I can’t change the fact that I was to cowardly to live without you. If I am going to move on so are you. Swear to me Bella. Swear to me. It would completely destroy me if my mistake made you think you are a monster. You are the most loving person. I have always been so proud of you. Look what you did yesterday. Anyone else would have given up. Turned into a mindless killer. You did it yourself. You pulled yourself up and fought it the entire time. How many people could you have killed Bella? How many more? How many are still alive because you won the fight inside yourself with no help?”
I had never thought about it. Never thought about the people who I didn’t kill. I wanted to. I never came across a human I didn’t want to drain. Even now the thought still crossed my mind. I… I didn’t want to kill those people. Why couldn’t I have been strong every time?
“Bella?”
“I should have been strong every time.” I whispered.
“No one is strong all the time. We all need help. I fell apart without you. I need your help. I need to be able to stay in your life Bella. You went after help. Garrett didn’t find you. You found him. You got help.”
I did, didn’t I?
“Okay Mom. I get it.”
“Good. I’ll remind you of this every time we talk until I feel you really believe it.”
“I believe it Mom.”
“Not completely. But you will.”
“I love you Mom.”
“I love you Bella. When can I see you?”
I didn’t really know. I didn’t want to tell her a date and then miss it but I didn’t want to not give her anything.
“Two weeks?” Garrett would be with me. It would be okay.
“Good. Can I call you at this number?”
I had called her off my room line. I probably should give her the cell phone number Garrett gave me. I had played around and could use the touch screen very slowly without cracking it so far.
“This is my cell phone if you can’t get a hold of me on this line.” I told her I loved her. With a promise to talk tomorrow I ended the call.
“How did it go?” Garrett asked, walking in.
“Good. I think… I think she will be okay.” Maybe me too?
Garrett nodded. “Yes. I think she will be okay as well. She is looking better already. Calling your Dad?”
“Yeah…”
“Come out when you are done. We have something to talk about.”
I nodded and dialed the next number slowly.
“Hello?”
He sounded groggy. I couldn’t remember the details of his face. His voice though, that soothing calm voice was the same.
“Dad?”
“Bella?”
“Yes.”
“He wasn’t lying.” Charlie whispered.
“No.”
“I mean I didn’t think he had, I mean Jake turning into a big dog pretty much… Bella where are you baby? Please come home to me. Please. I have your room ready. I can repaint it. I know you probably are tired of purple. Please? Please come home to me.”
His voice was starting to crack. If he lost it so would I.
“Dad, you know what I am doing now right?”
I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone.
“Bella you don’t have to do anything. Those deaths Bella…”
“I know Dad. I know. I… I’m not doing this because of them. I mean I am but… I’m doing this because I can and it needs to be done. Dad, I don’t want this. But I have it. I need… what would you do Dad? Tell me. Please?”
“Bells…”
“What Dad?”
“I would do exactly what you are doing. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from this.”
“I never gave you the chance.”
“I wouldn’t have believed you.”
“You would have thought I could make this up?”
“Good point.” He laughed at least.
“So… can I see you? Please baby?”
“Yeah Dad. Give me a couple weeks. I’m getting better. I promise. I don’t want to scare you.”
“I saw Jake turn into a giant wolf and a guy from the Government lift a large tree out of the ground.”
“I know Dad. But I don’t want to scare you.” Please understand.
“Two weeks?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’m holding you to that kid.” Now he was crying. I could hear him trying to hide it. But his breathing… I could almost hear the tears running down his face.
“Dad. Have you… been drinking still?”
“No! Not a drop since Garrett left. I promise Bells.”
“I believe you Dad. I just, I don’t want to destroy you. Now I’m this and…”
“You are you. Not having you destroyed me. You are you. Don’t you ever think I love you any less. Ever.”
“Yes sir.” I whispered. “I love you Daddy.”
“I love you to Bells. Can I call you? Everyday? Please?”
“Yeah Dad.” I gave him my numbers and with a final I love you, hung up the phone.
I sat on the floor and sobbed, my body shaking and my heart wishing I could shed tears that would never come.
Someone knocked on my door.
“Come in.” I said in a raised voice that would probably be heard by whoever was on the other side of the door.
My door slid open but I didn’t turn.
“Shortie? You need to see me naked again?’
Damn it. He could make me laugh. I would give him that. Then he sat behind me and wrapped me in his big arms. Now I was sobbing again.
“Shhh. It’s gonna be okay little crazy white girl. It will be all right. Want Big Ty to sing you a song?”
“No.” I snuffled out.
“You sure? I got a good voice. Momma used to tell me I sounded like an angel.”
“Okay.” Why not?
He actually did have a nice voice. So nice I didn’t pay attention to the lyrics. At first.
“Honey came in and she caught me red-handed creepin with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How could I forget
That I had given her an extra key?
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say you’re not, convince her say you’re gay
Never admit to a word when she say
Makes a claim and you tell her baby no way”
“What the hell song is that?” I asked.
“That’s the player song by Shaggy. You gotta help me out though. I’m going to sing a lyric and you have to say ‘it wasn’t me’
“No! I’m not going to be a party to your cheating ways!”
“Yeah you are. You’re my crew now. Crew covers for each other when we do stupid shit. Part of the code.”
“What code?”
“I’ll email it to you. It’s quite long. You able to use a computer or do you still enter the computer when your finger hits enter?”
“Fuck you.” I laughed.
“That’s my girl. C’mon. Your man wants to talk to us. Time to earn that government paycheck.”
“He is not my man. Why do you keep insinuating that he is? We barely know each other.”
“Yeah. You barely no each other and the sexual tension in our little underground bunker is so thick even I’m having a hard time getting around. That’s cool though. You stay in denial. It will make the sex that much more intense. As intense as white people can fuck anyway.”
He lifted me off the ground before I could argue that white people could indeed have very intense sex. Asshole.
We walked into the control room and saw Garrett in his normal position perving on the vamp world with his satellites.
“Hello you two. Bella did your conversations… everything okay?”
He was smiling but I could tell he was a little worried too. I was annoyed he put me in this position at first but it did make me feel better. I think it made Charlie and Renee feel better as well.
“Yeah. Everything is great Garrett. I just have to work on my blood lust and hopefully in two weeks?”
He nodded.
“I’m glad Bella. Now we have work to do.”
“Yes!” I whispered before I could stop it.
“A friend of mine, a priest, believes a demon is walking the streets of New York. This demon is a shifter who can assume the guise of anyone he sees.”
“Okay…” The problem.
“He has been hanging around key political rallies. My friend is worried that the demon may be trying to imitate a politician. Take over his or her life.”
“So we find the demon and kill it. Easy enough.” Ty said.
“Yes. But my friend believes the demon has noticed him following. He is concerned the demon may try to take his spot in the church. Many big politicians including the mayor of New York attend his service.”
“Wait. The Priest knows about you?”
“Yes. I was approached by him after he witnessed me killing a demon who was responsible for preying on homeless at a shelter he ran. He saw everything so I introduced myself. He’s a great guy. We play chess together when I am in New York. Anyway this demon has to be found. I need one of you to go to New York and handle this. Who wants to go?”
Ty said he did. I wanted to but I didn’t trust myself to be alone.
“I appreciate you volunteering Ty. You may accompany Bella to New York. But I want you to scout. See what vampires are in the area. See who is feeding where. I will be going as well.”
“You mean…?” Oh shit.
“Yes. We are all going. I will scout for the demon since I am familiar with their scent. You Bella, will be meeting Father Francis. A good man and my friend. You are to be his personal body guard.”
“Are you fucking crazy? You want me around a Priest!” I yelled. I may have growled. I’ll be damned if I was going anywhere near a priest of all people.
“Yes. I need someone to protect him. I know you will defend him with your life. I want you there. There is no one I would rather have than you protecting him.”
“Thanks Gar.” Ty mumbled. Garrett shot him a look.
“No offense Ty. I trust you explicitly. But I need you looking for intelligence. I need to find this demon before he takes residence in City Hall. Luckily as fate would have it Bella has joined us and we can accomplish all our tasks at once.
“Garrett I can’t…”
“Bella I am giving you a mission. A man needs protection. Will you protect him?”
Fuck.
“Yes.” Or accidentally kill him.
“Good. We leave tonight. I want to spend a few hours in the training room. All three of us. Ty, I want you to use your power on Bella.
Power?
Ty and I followed Garrett to the training room.
“Gar I don’t like doing this. You know that.”
“Important Ty. We all need to know what Bella can do. You won’t hurt her.”
Ty looked at me.
“Sorry Shortie.”
He continued looking at me.
“What the fuck?” Ty whispered.
“What? What did I do?” I hope I didn’t break anything.
“You blocked his power Bella.” Garrett grinned.
“What power?”
“Ty has the ability to place a person in vertigo. Painful vertigo. You become dizzy. You don’t know up from down. You basically become sick. It is all in the mind. His power scrambles brainwaves of others. Throws their equilibriums off. Imagine standing around and the next minute up is down and you feel like you are on a roller coaster. You Bella are his counter. While he can scramble the brainwaves of others with his power you can scramble powers. The key is whether you can protect someone else. Or multiple persons.”
“How do we figure that out?”
“Easy.” Garrett walked next to me. “Ty?”
Garrett stood still while Ty stared at him.
“Excellent.”
“I’ll be damned.” Ty whispered.
“Now let’s see how far away from Bella we can be before powers affect us.”
Garrett walked off slowly. I didn’t feel myself doing anything. I just stood there. When Garrett was around twenty feet away he fell to his knees and grabbed his head. He doubled over.
“No!”
Garrett shook his head and stood.
“How did you do that?” Garrett asked.
“Do what? Are you okay?”
“His power affected me. Then it didn’t. You didn’t move though.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t want you… hurt.”
“I’m fine Bella. But it appears you were able to stretch the coverage area of your protection. We need to figure out how and see if we can replicate it. Did you feel anything different? Other than emotionally?” I was a bit embarrassed by that question but it was true. I thought he was in danger and wanted to protect him.
“I did feel a little buzz.” I admitted.
“A little? If you only felt a little then your range is indeed very far. Excellent. So now we know and know what to work on.”
Ty walked out. I think he was upset.
“Don’t worry. He hates to use his power on anyone who isn’t attacking us. It bothers him greatly. For all his grand shit talking Ty is a gentle soul towards those he considers family. Namely me and now you.”
“Oh.”
Garrett grabbed my hand as I tried to walk off.
“Bella?”
“Yes.” Don’t concentrate on the way his skin feels Bella. Look him in the eyes.
“Thank you. It means a lot to me that you thought I was in danger and reacted to protect me.”
Oh damn.
“Hey. You mean a lot to me. You have pretty much given me something to live for.” Yep. Keep it casual.
“You have given me something too Bella.” He replied and walked off.
I stood there trying to digest his words. We hadn’t known each other long. But the way I reacted to him… The way I felt whenever my skin brushed his.
“Bella? Time to head to New York.”
Garrett POV
“When are you going to tell her?” Ty asked. Again.
“I’m not.”
“She needs to know she makes you flag stand at full mast. Your soldier salute. Your…”
“Got it Ty.”
‘Your dick get hard.”
“Got it Ty!”
“She got the hots for you. She don’t know yet or ain’t realized we can smell that little scent but you know it same as I do. Ain’t me she getting all hot and bothered for.”
“I like her. A lot. But she has other things on her mind. She doesn’t need romance. She needs healing. I will give her what she needs. I’m damn sure not going to ask her on a date when she is in a vulnerable place. It would be taking advantage of her.”
“How long has it been since you had a woman?” Ty laughed.
“How long has it been for you Playa?” I responded in kind.
“Hey… I’m picky.”
“Uh huh.”
I took off again running. Bella was behind us. She had stopped to feed on three deer so far on the run. She wanted to be well fed she explained. I wasn’t worried. If she didn’t kill anyone in that sub she wouldn’t now. I had faith in her then and I would always have faith in her. Even if she slipped. Lord knows I did in the early years.
We reached New York City. Bella ran beside me and tensed.
“Don’t worry. You got this.” I told her.
She smiled but it wasn’t in her eyes. She would learn. She already was. She would figure out how strong she was.
“You have your sword?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Remember. You have to cut off their heads. They can hurt you. Their claws can burn. You will heal but they have the strength to tear you apart. If that happens they can kill you. Do not let them. If you feel you can’t handle it, should you see one, run. They are not as fast as we are. Don’t be afraid to run.”
“Got it.”
I gave her directions to Church. We weren’t far. She would find it easily from the rooftops. Ty took off to scout the city for scents till morning, unless I called him. I had a demon to find and kill. Then maybe I could talk Bella into watching some more movies. Or something. Anything to spend time with her. Maybe take her out in the sun? Let her feel human? A beach? Somewhere she can be around people but not enclosed.
Demon first. Concentrate Garrett.
BPOV
I found the church and landed on the roof. I didn’t want to walk in. I could watch him from here. It was raining. I didn’t care. The rain washed out the scent of humans. I had a black overcoat on anyway. My long silver sword was holstered under it on my back.
Demons. Great. Unbelievable.
I peered through the tall window at the top. The Church really was beautiful. Large gothic cathedral type. I saw a tan man in his forties standing in the front. He was on his knees praying at the altar.
A strange scent caught my attention, even in the rain. I looked down from the ledge I was perched on and saw a well dressed man walk into the church.
At this time of night? He wasn’t even wearing a rain coat.
The man I assumed was Father Francis never turned around. He stayed on his knees praying.
I could hear the man who entered laughing.
“Give it a moment Father. You can say it to him face to face.”
The demon. It had to be. I grabbed my phone and went to contacts to find Garrett’s number. I pressed dial and my thumb went through the phone.
Fuck.
“I believe if it’s all the same to you I will continue to pray.” Father Francis said back, never turning to the man who had just threatened him.
“Do you expect him to answer Father?”
The demon just pulled something from his coat. I couldn’t see from behind what it was. It couldn’t be good.
I had to get the priest away.
I jumped through the glass and landed in the church aisle.
“I believe my prayers were just answered demon.” I heard Father Francis say. My focus was on the nice looking harmless man in front of me.
“And who might you be?”
“Bella Swan.” I drew my sword.
“Kid you are out of your league.” He smiled. I had a sword. Why was he smiling?
Shit. He just grew a foot.
His skin just turned red.
He just ripped his shirt off.
Were those horns?
Big fangs.
Okay.
I couldn’t grab the priest and run. He was on the other side of the demon. I had to go through him.
“I guess we are about to find out what league I belong in. Bring it bitch.”
Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction 
Leave a comment