Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Call Me Kara

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 11:

Kara woke up feeling very warm and safe. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was but this felt like her bed. The only difference in how her bed usually felt was the body next to hers. She cracked her eyes open and looked down at the arm, draped across her chest. From the feel of his body she knew it was Barry, holding her, spooning her from behind. Her body ached and combined with the feel of the body pressed against her she had no desire to move.

What had happened? How had she gotten here? Kara thought hard through the fuzziness in her head and remembered her first day of work.

Savage!

No, he was gone. Kara launched him into space, she watched until he left the atmosphere and began floating away into space, his eyes wide as he realized his predicament.

Then what?

She didn’t remember landing, or coming to Cait’s, and hers she supposed, apartment. Considering she as dressed in a long t shirt and pajama pants she assumed Barry hadn’t taken her to bed in a fit of passion. Plus she knew he was dressed, his shirt was pressed against her neck, due to his taller frame.

Kara kept her eyes closed and tried not to move, not to think about what had happened during the battle, the pure evilness she had seen in Savage’s eyes. Not even Non in his blatant plan for mass murder had the gleam in his eyes of a man who wasn’t just prepared to but also loved to kill.

No, Superwoman would stay in this bed, enjoying Barry’s sleeping breaths tickling the hair on top of her head, wrapped around her body, and not move. She could use more sleep. Yep, Kara Zor El was not going anywhere.

A minute later she realized she really, really needed to pee.

“Dang it.” Kara whispered. She attempted to slip out of Barry’s hold smoothly so she could slide right back in after a short trip to the bathroom. Unfortunately the moment her feet hit the floor, she realized just how badly her body ached, the surprise causing her to tumble out of the bed onto the floor in a less than graceful fashion.

The heroine lay on her back, looking at the ceiling, praying she didn’t wake Barry who would see her lying on the floor where she fell. Her prayers were not answered, when his grinning head popped from the bed looking down at her.

“Are you okay?”

Despite the soreness and undignified exit from the bed, she smiled at him, his normally messy hair even more so in the morning, sleepy eyes and a face that looked like it hadn’t shaved in a few days. Kara found this weird since she didn’t remember him looking like this the day before.

“I was trying to sneak to the bathroom so I could come back to bed without waking you up.” the blonde admitted.

“I would say you were unsuccessful. I’m just glad to see you up. You have had me worried.” Barry swung off the bed and offered his right hand to Kara out of reflex. She noticed the wince on his face when he helped her up.

“What’s wrong with you arm?” Kara asked as soon as she was up, running her fingers over it, ignoring the pain in her legs and back.

“Uh, when I hit Wilson with a supersonic punch, my aim was a bit off. I hit him but the bones in my arm shattered. Dig splinted it but once I got you to S.T.A.R. it kept slipping… its kind of gross. Anyway there were a lot of bone fragments in addition to the main humorous and ulna being snapped, I had a lot of smaller bones in my wrist and hands broken so Caitlin had to open me up and place pins in my arm and hand. Once I finally started to heal she had to open me up again and remove the pins. Anyway, its been healing fine but it still a bit sore.”

Kara’s heart fell.

“You can’t do that anymore. You were knocked out after you used it on KingShark and now this? I thought you could do that without hurting yourself?”

“I can if I am concentrating. Seeing you locked in mortal combat with one of the most evil and powerful men in history, tends to throw my concentration off.”

“Barry…” Kara whispered. “How fast did you heal for Cait to perform two surgeries?”

“A few days. She took the pins out yesterday. I wouldn’t leave your side so we all decided to bring you here. I thought you might be more comfortable in your own bed. Once your scars and burns healed I figured you had enough sun. It took four days under the solar lamps and you scared the hell out of me, so I wanted to take you away from it all. Do you need to go back? Or I can bring the lamps here if you want.”

Kara stopped his rambling with a kiss that he gladly returned and was rewarded with the smile she fell in love with the first time she saw him. Even with a mask on, that confident, cocky smile got to her.

“Wait a minute, I was out for three days?”

“Six actually. We took you out of the solar bed yesterday and I ran you here. You never woke but Caitlin swore your vitals were sound and you just needed time. I’m guessing you are still sore?”

“Extremely. Rao, I have never been out that long before.”

“Yeah, something to remember for the next time you don’t listen to me.” he told her, pulling her by the waist closer to him.

“Excuse me? I didn’t listen to you?”

“No, you didn’t. I told you to dodge his blasts, not get locked into a battle of whose power was stronger. I told you not to touch the staff because… I think you are getting the idea. You basically did everything I told you not to do.”

“I was excited. It was my first time fighting an immortal with a magic staff. Oh crap…”

“What? What’s wrong?” Barry asked immediately, backing up to look her over.

“It was my first day at work and I destroyed the building.” Kara told him, eyes widening at the realization. “I’m probably going to have to find a new job.”

Barry let out a laugh at the utter seriousness of her concern. She would think of that.

“You saved her life. Felicity already has contacted her attorney’s who are working with the insurance agencies to rebuild the building. She didn’t like some of the features so she can have it done her way now. And yeah she is very grateful to you. You will probably get a raise.”

“Oh, thats a relief. Of course I doubt I will get a raise. If the CFO was a tight wad before he is going to be doubly so now. Okay, I still need to… you know, bathroom, so stay. Don’t move. I was enjoying the cuddling, even if my body feels like I was hit by a semi truck. Actually I did that once. Destroyed the truck but I was fine. Anyway, it hurts is the point.”

“I will be waiting for you. I was thinking later if you start to feel better i could take you to a spot I know. It’s a cliff on a small mountain not far from here. You can see the whole city. Makes for a great scene at night.” Barry offered.

“You want to take me to a make out spot?” Kara asked, catching on quick.

“I just thought you would enjoy the view. Whatever happens after that is up to you. Honestly I just want to be with you. Damn Kara, since you have come into my life you have done two things. You have made me love you more than anyone I have ever loved in my life and worry for you more than anyone I have before in my life. I was so proud of you out there, but you scared the crap out of me.”

“You don’t think you scared me? I saw that red whirlwind of lightning circling Savage. What would have happened if he swung that staff?”

“I would have gotten out of the way. He’s a dangerous guy but he’s no Flash, Kara.”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Then you picked up the staff after telling me not to.” she reminded him.

“I was trying to keep it away from you. Your whole body lit up when you used it on him.”

“I could handle it.”

“You missed.” he reminded her, in case she had forgotten with the numerous shots to her head.

“It hurt,” she admitted.

“Exactly. So make out cliff tonight?”

“If I feel better. I need a hot bath, and oh no I can’t believe you are seeing me like this!”

“You’re beautiful Kara.” he told her.

“My hair is a mess, I’m wearing a t shirt and… oh Rao its my puppy pajama bottoms. I have no makeup on, oh no, I probably haven’t had a bath in days. Do I stink?”

“Kara, you do not stink and you look beautiful, especially like this.”

“Thanks. You need to shave mister. But other than that you aren’t bad yourself.”

“I thought you would appreciate the manly, scruffy look. Always seems to work for Oliver.”

“If Oliver Queen had your gorgeous face I would tell him not to cover it up either. But since he doesn’t, he can do what he wants. I want to see you happy and rested. You look exhausted. I’ll be back. You want some coffee?”

“Yeah that would be great.” Barry watched her leave, beautiful, especially in the morning, breathing out a sigh of relief that she had woken. Caitlin expected her to wake yesterday, but had assured him that her vitals were good and she just needed more time. Her burns had healed, her cuts had healed but…

Damn it! He forgot to tell her that Cait was still able to give her fluids though an IV as of yesterday. She healed but her powers were most likely not back yet…

Oh no.

The visitors that were due to arrive this morning for breakfast. Nah, Caitlin would have told him if they arrived, even if he was sleeping better than he had in a long time.

He should probably mention to Kara that her powers may not be completely back yet.

“Hey…” he started then heard a scream. Moving to her quickly after first almost falling out of bed, he saw his love hopping on one foot in the middle of a room full of guests, holding her toe.

Kara for her part was a bit more surprised than Barry. She should have noticed she wasn’t completely herself but the aching body and waking up in Barry’s arms plus the need to pee distracted her. Once she left the bathroom she made a detour to the kitchen for the coffee she smelt, figuring Cait must be hanging out watching TV, since she heard voices she did not recognize in the living room. Making two cups she moved back to the bedroom when her toe caught the edge of the Kitchen bar.

Kara Zor El had fought many enemies in her life, some very, very strong and had suffered a lot of pain, emotional and physically. She had a broken arm the last time she had blown out her powers.

Kara had never dealt with a stubbed big toe… and it hurt. It really, really hurt. Dropping the cups to the floor, the hot liquid covered the one foot that was not being held by her hands and still on the ground she grabbed her toe to stop the burning. Between the burning liquid and the throbbing in her toe, Kara hopped towards the living room for freedom, freedom from pain, freedom from the burning coffee, simply freedom. She knew she was yelling over her toe, cursing in Kryptonese, words her mother would be shocked to hear and her father would probably be a bit proud of.

“Cait, my toe! I need ice or a painkiller or surgery! My foot… make it stop!” she yelled, eyes closed tightly, thinking if she couldn’t see the pain couldn’t find her.

Kara opened her eyes when she heard the voices she had thought were the television go silent.

She was not alone. Caitlin was there. So was Cisco.

Oliver and Thea Queen were also present. Her boss was in the living room. Some blonde woman was also there. She recognized a young black man slightly, only she thought his head had been on fire before. She also saw a handsome man that sort of resembled her cousin. They were all looking at her.

“So you are Superwoman?” the young black man asked.

Kara realized what she must look like, hair a mess in her puppy pajamas, standing on one burning foot while holding the other. And of course Barry just appeared at her side.

“She goes by Kara Zorel, last daughter of the House of El from Krypton. How are you this morning Kara? We have all been worried. Glad to see your nap is over.” Oliver told her, with the biggest obnoxious smirk she had ever seen. Thea, Felicity and the blonde woman were holding back smiles, poorly. Even Cait was looking at the floor, her upper body shaking.

“Hi?” she offered. “Barry?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me there were guests over?”

“I didn’t know? We were asleep and when you got up off the floor we were talking about other things and I didn’t think they would… all… be here. Now. At the same time. Are you okay?”

“No, I stubbed my toe. It really hurts. And I dropped the coffee and it burned my other foot and I am about to die of embarrassment but not before I kill you.”

“Again I have to ask, you are Superwoman?” the young man asked once again. Kara let go of her toe and gently placed her foot back on the ground, trying to regain some of the dignity befitting the daughter of the House of El.

“Yes, thats what Cisco calls me anyway.”

“I am seriously beginning to rethink that name.” he told her, looking at her toe and then her pajama pants.

He would pay for that later.

“So uh… maybe you should get dressed and stuff.” Barry suggested.

“My powers are gone. Why are my powers gone Cait? Barry said I healed.”

“Yes you did, but considering what you told me before it is likely they may not all come back at once. They came back last time right?.

“Yes, a friend fell down an elevator shaft. But I healed instantly too.” Kara admitted.

“Maybe this time is different? I mean we don’t have a lot to go on. Just give it time. Didn’t you say you needed a dose of adrenalin to get them back the last time?” Cait offered.

“Maybe we can toss Oliver off the roof!” Felicity suggested, causing Oliver to close his eyes and rub his forehead.

“I don’t think that will be necessary. They will come back when they are ready I guess.” Kara told the group.

“I hope its before you sustain anymore debilitating stubbed toe injuries. You only have one left.” Cisco reminded her. Barry zipped away and back with coffee that he handed to his girlfriend.

“So why are you guys here? I mean still in Central City. Oliver and Thea I mean. Not that I’m not glad because you are always welcome but I figured you would be wanting to find out what is going on in Star City?” Barry asked his friend.

“I think the city can survive a few days without me. Or longer actually. I mean it has before when I left. Of course it always has a way of dragging you back. Especially when the woman you love had been secretly helping other vigilantes and neglecting to tell you about it. But I suppose that doesn’t count as far as lying goes. Only my lies by omission count apparently.” Oliver explained with a grin that went away when he saw the look on his ex fiancee’s face.

“Oh, so you are… staying for a while?” the speedster asked. He loved both Oliver and Felicity but being around both of them right now had potential for disaster for anyone who might be near. Kara would be around Felicity all day, he didn’t have a clue what Oliver would do during the day. He usually stayed at his lair all day and patrolled at night. Thea apparently handled the finances of there little operation because her ninja father is or was a billionaire. She apparentlygot all his money after his first faked death.

Jax tired of the games, decided to get everyone’s reasons out in the open.

“Can we just cut to the chase? My name is Jax, thats Ray and Sara. Ray wants to stay and help Felicity with this nano tech from the sidelines since he still wants to play dead. Oliver is not happy that Ray is staying in Central City cause Ray and Blondie had a thing back in the day. Thea doesn’t feel like going back because she wants to hang with Felicity for a while and watch the Green Arrow get green with jealousy. Sara here offered to go back with Oliver and help protect the city even though its been so messed up over the last few years I don’t know why anyone even tries anymore. Sara though got this flirtation going on with Leonard… you probably heard of him as Captain Cold, anyway he don’t want to stick around cause he and Barry have this sort love hate relationship, minus the love, but since Barry erased Leonard’s record Barry can’t exactly put him in jail. But even though there is this flirtation kinda thing thats been going on the past year with Cold, Sara and Oliver got a past, and I mean an intense, close, life or death battles, heat of the moment started doing the deed every time they see each other past, so Felicity isn’t down with Oliver join back to Star with his old flame even though she is the one who broke up with him. So long story short, everybody is staying here. I got to stay here for a while because the guy whose mind invades my thoughts when I am doing my thing as Firestorm is helping Cisco out with some project, plus his wife lives here and he needs some family time. I mean we have been gone a year but since we were traveling through time we could return at any point so we showed up a week after we left on this timeline. She thinks he has been gone a week. Sorry I don’t get to talk much but I figured you should have it laid out for you. Barry can tell you more about it. Hey didn’t you and Felicity have something going on in the past Barry?”

“No!” Barry and Felicity both shouted. Kara looked at both suspiciously while Barry shrugged his shoulders.

“Its the radiation. Gets to his brain and mouth sometimes.” he explained.

“Oliver principle.” Kara reminded him.

“That is seriously a thing? I thought you were joking!”

“We don’t joke about the Oliver principle, Oliver.” Kara told him, eyes never leaving Barry’s. For a moment he considered running but bit the bullet.

“We went out on one date long ago, and decided we were better as friends. On her way back to Star City we kissed one time, nothing more.”

“You kissed Felicity?”

“You knew that Oliver.” Felicity told him.

“I thought you were kidding! Why would you kiss Barry?”

“Because he’s hot.” Kara told him immediately, deciding Felicity could live since it was just once. Looking at Oliver staring at Barry, she may need to get her powers back sooner than later.

“Look I’ll be right back.” Barry whispered in her ear. Five seconds later he was back, dressed perfectly for the day in faded blue jeans and a blue pullover, knowing she loved that color on him.

“So I guess that leaves me as the only bum in the room.” she muttered. Her toe still hurt.

“I’m going to put ice on my toe and get ready for the day. Excuse me.” Kara limped slightly to the bedroom to grab some clothes and head to the shower. Once in the shower her body began to feel closet normal, some of the soreness leaving. To her annoyance her hair took longer than she would like so she abandoned the wavy locked for a quick ponytail. Once she had brushed her teeth and met some standard of appearance appropriate for polite company she made her way back into the living room, not realizing Cait had enough chairs in the place for all these people. Barry was in an arm chair so she walked over and sat down in his lap, knowing he would wrap his arms around her immediately.

“So its nice to meet everyone. Wait you are Sara and you, the one who talks a lot, you said you were…”

“Jax. One half of Firestorm, the guy who kept Barry from going splat while he was keeping you from going splat. Good job taking out Savage. Rip called a couple days ago while you were in your coma and told us the timeline changed. Instead of having a chance to live forever by murdering Kendra and Carter he floated in space for a few life times until his life force or something drained.”

“So I killed him?” Kara asked, not knowing how to feel about that.

“He should have died long ago.” Sara answered. “The only way he could have immortality was by killing Kendra and Carter every time they were reincarnated. You just stopped him from having the chance to keep living at their expense and stopped him from forming a massive army of destruction that ruins millions of lives in the future. We hunted him for a year and all it took was you going Xena on him. You got skills.”

Kara knew about Firestorm from Caitlin of course and what had happened to Ronnie. Finding a replacement was life or death for Dr. Stein but it still had to be tough to be around the young man and not think about Ronnie.

“Uh thanks? I just did what I feel like I am meant to do with my life.” Kara told her.

“Be a hero?”

“No, protect my boyfriend from immortal bad guys with magic staffs.” she quipped.

“Okay, look it is good to see everybody but I’ve been a little worried for the past 6 days and need some one on one time, so Kara you want to…” Barry started.

“Go to S.T.A.R? I haven’t met Dr. Stein yet. Caitlin has told me about him and I want to meet him. By the way Cisco, what project is he helping you with?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been trying to play with different types of solar radiation and mimicking a Red Dwarf Supergiant star isn’t as easy as it sounds. This kind of falls into his area of expertise”

Kara froze, her face, her body, everything. The smile was planted there though if she had heat vision right now, Cisco would be dead.

“Wow, that sounds fascinating.”

“Didn’t your home planet have a red sun, Kara? Cisco was telling me you derived your power from the Earth’s yellow sun. I have to say that is fascinating. So on Krypton was it? The red sun didn’t allow you to have the powers you have here on Earth?”

Kara ignored Ray Palmer. He could ask questions about Krypton later. Right now she had Cisco Ramon in her sights. Apparently he thought her loss of power made her less deadly. He was very wrong.

“What have you told Dr. Stein about this project of yours Cisco?” she asked, fake smile even wider.

“I need the man’s help. As a fellow professional who I trust, I had to tell him the details of what I was trying to accomplish and the purpose of my project.”

“Barry, let’s go somewhere for breakfast. Please?”

“Sounds great, I’m starving. You want to meet Dr. Stein first?”

“No! I mean I’m sure there will be time later.”

“Maybe after breakfast. I am kind of curious about this Red Dwarf energy…”

“No! If Cisco wanted us to know he would have told us, right Cisco?”

“Sure. You say so.”

“I’m not crazy about things that can weaken Kara, Cisco. It there a good reason for making this? Because you made a cold gun to stop me once and you saw how that turned out. No offense Sara.”

“None taken. I know by the way.” Sara told Kara with a wink. Kara’s head turned towards Sara then accusingly back to Cisco.

“I didn’t say a word. I mean to her. I haven’t even told Caitlin.”

Oh believe me I can guess.” Sara told Kara, ignoring Cisco.

“I’m sorry, what the hell is going on?” Barry asked.

“Nothing. Cisco is being weird as usual.” Kara told him.

“Oliver principle, Kara.”

“Shut up Oliver Queen!”

“Kara?”

“Lets go Barry. Please. Uh nice to meet everyone. I’m sure we will see each other soon. Got to go.” Kara told them all in goodbye. “Get me out of here.” she whispered to the Flash. In seconds she was in his arms and ten blocks away. The two moved into an alleyway so Barry could safely slow down without being recognized.

“Donuts or breakfast tacos?” he asked.

“Not really that hungry. I suppose a breakfast taco will do.” Kara told him, then pushed him against the wall of the alley, standing up on her toes, injured and all, and kissing her hero.

“So you can only keep up with my appetite if you have your powers.”

“Pretty much. But thats okay. We have a lot of time to make up for. You stayed with me the entire time I was out, didn’t you?”

Barry nodded his head solemnly, trying to hide the worry and stress that last few days had brought him. The pain in his arm was nothing compared to the pain of seeing her there, beaten, bleeding, soaking up artificial sunlight, wondering if Savage’s magic had harmed her to the point she couldn’t recover.

“Kara I… I’m…”

He stopped, knowing how he felt but not how to say it.

“I know. Its okay. We can eat later. Why don’t you take me to that cliff you were talking about now? Who knows how many times I will be able to have my way with you without worrying about my strength.”

Many more times unless Kara gave into her urge to kill Cisco before he made her bracelet. She had never met Dr. Martin Stein and was now mortified to look the man in the eyes. Kara curled up into Barry’s arms, closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of the wind on her face while he raced her to wherever he planned to take her. At this moment she didn’t care.

When she opened her eyes again she admitted to herself the spot was beautiful, a scenic overlook, forests below leading off for miles until they treeline broke, giving away to prairie land and then Central City beyond that.

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I love this place. You are the only one I have ever brought up here. I thought about showing it to Cisco and Caitlin but I wanted to keep it for myself, my space to unwind, to think, to dream.”

“Dream about what?”

Barry sat on the ground while Kara followed suit, ignoring her stiff back and leaning between Barry’s knees, her head on his chest, his arms around her.

“Everything. Oliver once told me that guys like us didn’t get the girl. That a hero’s existence was one of loneliness. To be what you had to be, no matter who was around you, you were always the one with the responsibility that no one could understand. He told me later that he was wrong but I always wondered if he was right. Would I find that someone who knew me, understood me, and loved me for me anyway, not just the Flash, and not just Barry Allen but both? The more I thought the more I decided Oliver was right after all. Things were going great when he was living with Felicity away from it all. But it all started to go downhill when he came back. He had planned on asking her to marry him and did eventually but held off for months because he became the Arrow again. Once he got the guts to ask, she was shot, nearly killed by their enemies and if not for the miracle of the chip in her spine and Ray Palmer’s genius she would still be in that chair.

Now you are here. Someone who understands pain and loss and responsibility to use your powers for good, the fear that you might go to far, having to decide sometimes between who you are, who you want to be and situations where you have to make decisions you normally wouldn’t make for the good of others. I’m not a killer Kara. At least I don’t see myself as one, but if Oliver and the rest of the guys, and girls hadn’t show up, I would have killed Slade Wilson and Harkness to keep them from distracting you while you fought Savage. I wouldn’t have had a choice because when it comes down to your life compared to theirs there is no choice to make.”

“Barry,” Kara whispered, not knowing what else to say.

“I know, you would have been fine, only you nearly weren’t. We have fought together before but nothing like that. Even with Livewire and Shrieky, I knew that we would win, maybe take a few hits but those two were not going to take us down. We were unstoppable together, we would find a way. The past few days have scared the hell out of me. I always knew I wasn’t invincible, I have taken enough beatings for that to be perfectly clear, but it was easier when it was just me. I was ready to die for someone, anyone if it meant that I could save I have someone that I am so completely in love with that hate to think about my life before you and while I feel stronger with you by my side, I also have someone who not only doesn’t need my protection but who I couldn’t protect. You are amazing and a warrior and times like our last battle I had to watch you fight an enemy none of us were strong enough to fight. At this point,if I could, I would run away with you from everything, the two of us could get lost in Europe and never be heard from again. But we can’t do that. It’s not who either of us are and that scares the hell out of me. I’ve never had this much to lose I come up here and think.”

Kara listened in silence, tears pooling in her eyes but not falling. She knew exactly what he meant. She knew how difficult was it for her to say goodbye to those she loved, knowing she probably wouldn’t make it back from the fight with Non and Indigo to see them again. She understood loss, watching the aunt who she loved as much as her mother when she was a little girl not only fight against her but then die in her arms. It would have been so much easier if Astra had been hateful to her, instead of pleading with her to join her cause. Astra had many chances to hurt, even kill Kara if she were honest but never took advantage of them. Despite everything Astra loved her.

“I thought you were beautiful the first time I saw you, obviously, I mean the outfit was hot and you had such confidence, you weren’t even thinking about who I was, instead focusing on getting back into the fight. But I think you really had me the first time we arrived at CatCo and I really saw you. The woman in glasses she didn’t need who everyone was so relieved to see, smiling at everyone, telling me it would be okay, taking me in despite my lunatic assertion that I was on the wrong Earth. Watching you eat that ice cream cone like it was the greatest thing in the world, you had, have such a joy and innocence to you that caught me by surprise. When you asked me for help, I hesitated, not because I didn’t want to, but because I knew if I went with you, instead of getting back quickly, I would never want to leave and I had too many people counting on me not to go back.”

Kara understood. If not for Non and her cousin and sister, who despite their difficulties as of late, she truly loved, she would have been tempted to go back with Barry. She was tempted to go with Barry even though she really had no way. But that wasn’t true. Barry didn’t need Kara to open the breach. She could have slipped in behind or beside him. They could have made it work.

“I understand. I wanted to go with you too, but I couldn’t.” Kara admitted. “Barry when you said we couldn’t lose to Livewire and Siobhan, you do realize Livewire almost killed me, right?”

“No I realized you took a shot to save that helicopter but a bolt of lightning wasn’t going to kill you. I was watching from where she zapped me. If she didn’t take me out she wasn’t going to take you out. I was about to make my move on both of them.” he explained.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because of what you told me, about what happened to you a few weeks before. Just as I was about to move I saw the people, how they reacted. Everyone of them knew you just took a shot to save that helicopter, and I watched them come to your defense. That light that shines in you, people can’t resist it for long. The fire department had arrived, I moved to the ground, so if she tried to spark anyone I could move them first, and then the water did its job. I watched the city embrace you, appreciate you and it was worth it.”

“So you basically let me get fried as a favor to me?” Kara asked, smiling playfully, though Barry couldn’t see her with the back of her head on his chest.

“Yeah, something like that. Besides I was kind of sore. She did pack quite a punch. So now answer a question for me, keeping in mind the Oliver Principle. Why is Dr. Stein helping Cisco replicate red solar rays for you? Is this because you are afraid you will go evil again? I thought we were past that.”

Kara was glad at that moment that Barry could not see her face and the bright blush that covered her cheeks.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“Is that why?”

“Maybe. I mean its part of the reason, I guess?”

“Okay, so what is the real reason?”

Kara sighed, figuring there would be no way out of this. He would find out eventually.

“Barry when I arrived I was… no thats not a good place to start… or maybe it is but I was dealing with a lot of things and that time in my life didn’t help matters. No that is… Okay, I got it.

You know I am strong. When I told you in the office we would help you, I was so excited, infatuated with you, I nearly broke your shoulder by trying to be reassuring. I am very good at controlling my strength. I have had years of experience being able to do simple things like hugging Alex and Eliza or using a smart phone without cracking the screen. But when I am excited or angry or… flustered I guess you could say, I forget my own strength sometimes. I mean I broke my phone once because I was angry at Siobhan. Not just broke it but crushed it with my hand and someone else pointed it out to me. Anyway I hugged Eliza and Alex growing up and got used to them but when it came to other things…

I never had a problem in high school. I was the weird girl in glasses, the foster kid who was quiet and kept to herself. Boys never showed an interest so it was easy to forget about them. To remind myself I wasn’t human. But our physiologies are the… needs are the same as humans. When I got to college and then National City, it was no problem either. I had hid who I was for so long, eventually I stopped just trying to hide my powers but also hid myself. I would do my best to fade into the background. I was lonely though so I went out on dates, online dates, that never amounted to anything past the first one. I was too unsure of myself, to have anyone else be attracted to me. So I had pretty much resigned myself to a life of being alone.

Then I came out as Supergirl and met James Olsen. Here was a guy who knew about me, who knew my cousin, who was supportive and believed in me. I thought this could work. He would understand my challenges and there would be no need for secrets and he could love me. It was tough and there were ups and downs, especially when Lucy became involved. I tried to be the supportive friend but it hurt, he had what I could never have. He kept giving me mixed signals, like calling me on Thanksgiving when he didn’t have to but at the same time he was off at some beautiful location with Lucy. I know he knew how I felt but either didn’t care or… I don’t know. Every time I turned around there was Lucy, confident, beautiful, everything I had spent my life trying to avoid being so people wouldn’t realize I was different. Then I met you and everything made sense. I saw the one, the one who understood me in a way James never could, who would never play with my emotions because I could see how good and caring you were by the way you acted, the way you looked at me, the way you asked me if I was okay when I was feeling my lowest. No one else came out to the balcony to talk to me, especially not James. Do you know why he told me he needed time before you arrived? What hateful thing I did to him while under the Red Kryptonite influence? I said nasty things about Lucy Lane who he had already broken up with. He said he didn’t know I had that darkness inside and needed time. I told him I wanted him, I wanted somebody anyway, and he was angry because I said mean things about his ex. He only wanted his idea of the perfect Superhero, not the imperfect person I really was. I told Alex she had no life without me and later came close to killing her. She forgave me. I threw Cat Grant off a balcony and she forgave me without a second thought. Him though? He abandoned me at my lowest point.

I saw you and even though I had no plan and was pretty much responsible for getting our butts kicked, you were there asking me if I was okay. I just knew you saw me the way I always wanted to be seen and it killed me when I lost you. I had pretty much sworn off men when you disappeared. You told me to take a chance with James and I tried but of course the world turned into mind controlled zombies and that was enough of a sign I guess.

What I am getting at is things never went far with James. They have never gone far with anyone. You are the only person I have been openly… I guess you could say physically at least, and we haven’t done more than kissing but I want that to change one day. You are the only guy I have kissed more than once actually. But Barry, I’ve never had… you know… before. If I get over excited or it hurts or any one of a number of different things that could go wrong happens, I could break every bone in your body by accident and I mean that literally. So if we ever want to take things to the next level, and I think we both do one day, then I need something that can give me peace of mind. Because if not I will never be in the moment, instead just trying to concentrate on not hurting you.”

Barry sat in silence digesting her words. She was relaxed despite her confession and he would bet if he looked at her now her face would be as red as his suit but she was honest with meant the world to him that she would open up about something so personal.

“Please say something.” Kara whispered.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And I think its time we get back to the lab so I can see if Dr. Stein needs any help.”

Kara laughed so hard her chest hurt. She was slowly getting used to the feeling of being human and the aches that accompanied it usually.

The two arrived back at S.T.A.R. not long afterward, spending time on the soft grass before leaving of course, to find a packed lab. Oliver was in one of the larger rooms using some sticks to fight Thea. The speed the two moved was amazing. Kara noticed Felicity was at a console next to Ray and Cisco and doing her best not to look at Oliver working up quite a sweat and Sara watching Oliver. None seemed surprised by their arrival or absence during the day, but Caitlin was a surprise, walking in wearing a tight black dress and heels.

“How are you feeling?” she asked Kara.

“Uh… fine?”

“Still haven’t gotten your powers back?”

“No.”

“Good.” was Cait’s answer, surprising Kara. She knew her best friend slash doctor would normally be concerned about this.

“Thea stop stick fighting your brother and get dressed. Sara?”

“I’m good as is.” Sara told her. Kara noted the woman was wearing tight black jeans and a form fitting white tank top with a light black leather jacket on top.

“Come on Kara. I need a shower and you need to get dressed. Cait brought a dress for you, its in the bathroom.” Thea told her grinning, probably due to the last shot she had at her brother, striking him in his ribs.

“Dress? Are we going somewhere?”

“Yep, you are coming with us. Felicity, Sara, Caitlin and me. I’m guessing since you haven’t gotten your powers back you can get drunk right?”

Barry groaned.

“I’ve never drank alcohol when I didn’t have my powers. I mean its only happened once before and there was an earthquake… I really don’t know what effect alcohol would have on me.”

“Good, we are going to find out. Think of it as a science experiment. Its girl’s night out. Say bye to your superhero and get dressed. Its time to show you and Caitlin how the ladies of Team Arrow party.”