Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Freedom

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 09:

Amber POV

We are in some trouble. Bella is getting hooked into this life again and I’m not sure it’s a bad thing. Paul is on patrol and Bella finally went to sleep. I am going to have to sleep too eventually. Sharing a body cuts down on sleep time and I can’t have my girl getting wore out.

I don’t understand why we are falling for the same thing we ran from in the first place. Okay we didn’t just run from him but it was the final straw. I will admit she is becoming stronger. Soon she may not need me anymore. But I will always be a part of her.

Bella had plans to change her hair color back today. I hate brown but she seems to love it. I suppose I could go shave my head but that would make her angry and I don’t want to hurt her. I just want to look out for her. If she had looked after herself some in the past she never would have needed me. Maybe if her parents had looked out for her she never would have needed an undead family to fill a hole in her life.

I knew one thing for certain. While she was out, it was time to do some research. I want to know about B before I was around. I need more info. And for that I need an outsiders perspective. It was time to do some visiting.

I pulled up to the little red house. Before I got off my bike, Jacob Black was walking outside. Same sunny smile as Bella remembers.

“Bella! It’s great to see you.”

“Sorry to disappoint you Jakey boy but Bella isn’t here.”

“Oh” The smile was gone.

“I’ll try not to be offended by that Jake.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it. It is just taking some getting used to is all.”

“I understand, Bella is a lot more fun to be around than I am.”

“I don’t know. There are things about you that Bella really needed.”

That surprised me.

“Like what exactly?”

“Bella was always a martyr. She was always thinking she wasn’t good enough, that she wasn’t worth anything. That killed me that she couldn’t see herself clearly.”

“Jake I have a question for you. The Cullens look at Bella like a freak every time she talks to me. Why don’t the wolves? I mean here you are talking to me and accepting Bella isn’t here like this is an everyday occurrence.”

Jake actually looked like he was putting thought in it. It’s easy to see why Bella liked him so much. He takes her seriously.

“I guess because we kind of know what it’s like.”

“What do you mean?”

“Paul told me he mentioned to you that he didn’t think he could stand by and let you sleep with another man because his wolf wouldn’t allow it. Do you remember?”

“Yes.”

“The pack is made up of guys and a lady who used to be normal teenagers with normal problems and not a care in the world. Then we turned into these spirit warriors. We changed. Not just into big wolves but as people. It was like we had two sides. A human side that wanted nothing more than to run far away and a wolf side that wanted nothing more than to defend others. That’s why you hear us talk about our “Wolf” sometimes. It really can be like a separate part of you. Another you. And it kills you. You are so confused because you feel like you are pulled in separate directions. But once you come to accept your wolf as a part of you, not separate from you, it’s like feeling whole again.”

“What does that have to do with me and Bella?”

“Don’t you see? You are Bella’s wolf. In a manner of speaking.”

Hmmm. This kid made sense.

“So you think Bella will always be torn until we learn to accept each other?”

“Yes. But I think once you accept each other, Bella will be stronger. I accepted my wolf. Bella helped me do that. She showed me I was still the same guy, just a little stronger. I think Bella repressed herself for so long that it was bound to come out sooner or later. I’ll admit that no one saw this coming but hey, it’s really no different. We turned into big dogs. Bella turned into a pot smoking body piercing, tattooed bitch. It’s all the same.”

I had to laugh. It’s easy to see why she loves this guy.

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

“Of course I have. Outside of my dad, Bella is the most important person in my life. She’s my best friend. Which means you’re my best friend too.”

“You were in love with her.”

“I thought I was. I confused love with being in love.”

“When did you decide you weren’t in love with her?

“When I saw how in love Paul was. How tore up he was when he felt he couldn’t be with her. How just loving her changed him from a foul mouthed, drug using, alcoholic brawler into a man I am proud to call my friend. Would you like to come inside? I’m sure my dad would love to talk to you. And Old Quil is here as well.”

“Sure why not? But I have to get Bella some sleep at some point today. She has a date with Charlie and a lot to do before then so she is going to need her rest.”

I walked in and saw Billy Black in his wheelchair and a really old man. I’m guessing Old Quil?

“Hello.”

“Welcome Bella, or is it Amber?” At least Billy had the decency to ask.

“Amber.”

“Welcome.”

The old man spoke. “Yes welcome my pale faced spirit warrior.”

I had to chuckle at that. “I’m no spirit warrior.”

The old man peered at me. It was kinda uncomfortable. It was like he was looking into my soul. And I didn’t like it.

“Aren’t you though? I understand you saved a wolf by taking a knife and slicing your arm to distract a vampire. I understand you have undergone a spirit journey across the United States, forsaking possessions and finding your inner warrior. That sounds like a spirit warrior to me.”

“I didn’t want to cut my arm in front of a vampire. I wanted to run. Bella is the one who did that.”

He waved his hand at me. “You know you are one and the same. There is no difference. How many times did Bella listen to you before that moment?”

“She pretty much always listened to me.”

“And yet at her time of peril she made the decision to stand strong. And you stood beside her. In her. If you do not fit the description of a spirit warrior I do not know what a spirit warrior is.”

“I just wanted to be free.”

“I know. And are you? Free?”

“I think so. But I worry that Bella is not going to allow herself to remain free.”

“Why? Is she not making choices of her own free will?” I understand she told the Cullens to, how do you young people say it, Fuck off?”

Damn this guy was funny. “Yeah she did.”

“Do you know why I think young Bella fell in with the bloodsuckers? And this is just my opinion. I think she wanted to be a part of something she considered bigger than herself. What the child did not realize is that she was bigger than she gave herself credit for. She is special.”

“How do you figure I, I mean she is special?”

“Do you realize in the history of the tribe every single imprint has been Quileute? Every single one. Imprints help the wolf to calm and be one with the man. They are soul mates. One of our absolute laws is imprints must be protected. And they always have been. But you young Bella, you go towards vampires. You have no fear of them. Fear does not control your life. If that is not freedom, I don’t know what is.”

“Just now, why did you call me Bella?”

“Just like you are always there when Bella is awake, Bella is always there when you think she is asleep. You know this. Look over your shoulder.”

I turned and saw her. She was looking at me with tears in her eyes. I winked at her but didn’t say anything. This was the first time this had happened.

Billy spoke. “Did you know Amber, that when Sarah died Bella spent four days with Jake? She wouldn’t leave his side. She held on to him when he was crying so hard I thought he would pass out. He was four and you were 6. Do you remember?”

I went to answer but Bella spoke up first. “Yes.”

“What kind of 6 year old can put herself through that kind of emotional turmoil? Even in my grief I was amazed at you. Your strength put me to shame.”

I could feel tears coming out of my eyes. I saw Bella fall to her knees and hug Billy. I watched her and realized that she belonged here. She would never be free alone or with just me. She needed these people as badly as they needed her. Bella continued to cry. Old Quil placed a hand on her shoulder and said something I couldn’t understand. It seemed like a blessing of sorts. One day she wouldn’t need me anymore. But there were still some things I needed to do for her. To be strong for her. Until she could accept me as a part of her. It was time to have dinner with our father.

Bella POV

It had been a long day. I woke up not sure what I was doing in Billy’s living room. The things I heard there brought me to my knees. I never realized how much people really thought of me. I didn’t get any more sleep. I guess I hadn’t gotten any sleep at all since Paul left. I spent the day in the salon. I looked in the mirror and saw my familiar messy hair, brown as mud. I took out my lip ring. I don’t know why but it didn’t seem as cool anymore. My tattoos would always be a part of me. And I was glad. Like my brand they were reminders of my strength. Plus I had one more tattoo I was considering.

My Dad pulled up at Paul’s at 7. He took me to Sue’s Diner in La Push. We got a table in the back. He couldn’t stop smiling. I had to smile back. Amber was by my side. I thought of leaving her at home but I needed her here.

“I like your hair.”

“Thanks.”

“You got rid of your lip thing. What happened to it?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I got tired of it.”

I heard Amber at my side whispering in my ear. “Go ahead and ask him.”

I took a deep breath. “Dad, why didn’t you move closer to me and Renee? Or move when she said she wanted out of Forks?”

He seemed shocked for a moment. “I uh, I don’t know Bells. I was so distraught when your mom left I didn’t know what to do.”

“You never thought getting her out of this town like she wanted may have saved your marriage?”

“I guess not. I mean I loved it here. I didn’t want to leave. And she did.”

“You loved this place more than her. More than me?”

“Uh, no…”

“Then why didn’t you leave?”

He stared into his coffee cup before finally looking up. “I messed up.”

“Yes you did. It may not have worked but it could have. You left her in the care of a 6 year old. You left me taking care of her when I was 6 years old.”

“Yes I did. And if I could go back and do it over again I would have left with you and your mother. You don’t think every day I don’t regret the lost time with you? And then when I do get you back you get so wrapped up in Cullen that I felt like I lost you again. And then when I think you are coming back to yourself you take off again.”

“I had to take off to find myself.”

“And this is you?”

“Not yet but I’m getting there. Do you love Forks more than me Dad?”

“No!”

“If I asked you right now to come with me to another city, another state, would you do it?”

Charlie stared into his coffee a bit longer this time.

“I admit, ten years ago I wouldn’t have because I was an idiot. But Bella I can’t lose you again. If you want out you tell me where you want to go and I will buy us the plane tickets. I just want to be with you. I don’t care where it is. If you want to ride motorcycles in rings of fire I will be there supporting you. I have lost you too many times. If you want to know what’s important to me, the most important thing in my life. It’s you. It always will be. I will go with you every step of the way, wherever you want to go. Just take me with you. Please take me with you.”

I looked at Amber who gave me a nod. “Thanks Dad. I love you. I won’t leave you behind again. But you better not leave me behind.”

Me and Charlie have never been emotional. I think if anyone would have walked by at that moment they would have been shocked to see us with tears in our eyes. Our past wasn’t perfect. But as long as I knew I had him on my side, I felt like I could do anything I wanted. It was important. I don’t know why but it was. I looked over and Amber wasn’t there. I guess she slipped out. Or disappeared for a while. I was beginning to realize that she wasn’t separate from me. I just made her separate. We ate our food and laughed about the antics at the station. He told me he really was starting to like the black hair and had an Elvira costume picked out for me for Halloween. Whoever the hell she was. As we walked to his cruiser Amber, out of nowhere’ tapped me on the shoulder and nodded towards the woods. What did I see but a pale flash darting off into the distance. I didn’t see red hair so it must have been a lackey of Victoria’s or more likely my personal stalker. That dead guy had to be the most hard headed person I have ever seen. I’m glad he wouldn’t let me give it up to him, because number one, ewww, and number two, I never would have gotten rid of him. I’m beginning to wonder if I ever will. I will have to talk to Paul about this.

I looked over at Amber who was still staring at the trees. She looked back at me and rolled her eyes but I could see concern in her face. I guess I was more concerned than I thought.