Intensity
By Mama4Dukes
Chapter 55:
Oklahoma
The next day…
Jared’s POV
What the hell was I getting myself into? Bella sent a text message at the crack of dawn, stating that I needed to get my ass down to Oklahoma without telling Paul. She told me to use the pretense that I was dropping off the imprints and children in Arizona, but under no circumstance should I get off the plane. I needed to continue to Oklahoma and head to the Wanagi Reservation.
Normally, I’d never defy my alpha’s orders, but in this case, I had a gut feeling I needed to trust Bella. So, now, I was standing at the entrance to the Wanagi Reservation in Oklahoma and talking to friendly vampires.
“Are you looking for our medical center?” The speaker, a vampire security guard standing in a fully tinted guard shack, eyed me suspiciously-most likely because he could tell I was supernatural.
“Uh, maybe. I’m looking for Bella Lahote. My name is Jared Cameron.”
He examined me up and down as if I was a science experiment. What the heck is going on here?
Suddenly, another vampire appeared beside me. A good-looking guy with jet-black hair and golden eyes. He wore a blazer over his jeans and carried a leather duffel bag. He introduced himself to the security guard. He spoke with a Spanish accent, “Hello, my name is Eleazar Denali. I was summoned here by Isabella Swan Lahote.”
“You, too?” I asked curiously. “Hey, were we supposed to dress up for this?” I wore sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a beat-up pair of sneakers. Compared to this dude, I was way underdressed.
“I don’t think so. I actually don’t know the reason for my summoning. Originally, I was supposed to go to La Push, Washington.”
“That’s where I came from. What in the heck is Bella up to?”
“You may both make your way to the tribal lodge at human speed. It’s a two-mile walk from here. Stop at the reception desk inside the medical center. An escort will accompany you to the tribal lodge,” the vampire security guard instructed.
“I remember where that is,” Eleazar Denali said and walked through the reservation gates.
I decided to follow him and introduce myself. “My name is Jared Cameron.” I held my hand out for him to shake.
The vampire shook my hand. “Ah, I am Eleazar Denali. You’re a Quileute wolf, Mr. Cameron. A normal one-not one like Mr. Lahote.”
“Yeah, I am normal, for the most part.”
“Were you given a reason for the summons, perchance?”
“Not at all.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I have a hunch this is important, though. Bella wouldn’t call unless it was important. Have you ever gotten that feeling deep down in your gut?”
“In my three-hundred years of existence, yes-many times.”
We entered the medical center and stopped at the reception area. A Wanagi vampire… What am I saying? Everyone who worked here was a Wanagi vampire. We were met by a male vampire in his mid-twenties and taken straight to Bella at the tribal lodge. She was deep in conversation with a man who could pass for my brother. Okay, well, my super fit younger brother.
The man had long, straight, jet-black hair that fell to his ass and was as naked as the day he was born. What the hell was Bella doing hanging out with a male stripper? As Paul’s pack brother, my duty was to protect his interests.
“Jared, you made it!” Bella chirped and hugged me. “Thanks for coming! I want you to meet someone. This is Mr. Taha Aki.”
My jaw dropped. What the heck? Did she say Taha Aki?
“Mr. Taha Aki, this is Mr. Jared Cameron. He is the one I was telling you about-the historian of the pack.”
Historian? I jerked my head towards Bella. Her response was to smile and wink at me. I straightened my posture, pulled back my shoulders, and tried to look regal. I mean, pack historian is a pretty important position.
“Oh, good. Jared, you’re here. Bella and I were hoping you’d make it.” Carlisle Cullen turned to Taha Aki. “Father, have you met Jared yet?”
“Yes, we’ve just been introduced, Son.”
“Uh… Right… How… How?” My speech had somehow escaped me. Was this really Taha Aki, the Great Wolf of the Quileutes? I tried again. “How… How did you… I thought you were dead?”
“My body has left the earthly world, but my spirit will always remain to watch over my people.”
“I see.” I rubbed my hands together, then reached out and grabbed Taha Aki’s arms. Yep, they were solid muscle. “Yet you’re here on this earth, all flesh, muscle, and all.” I moved my hand to his heart. “Your heart is beating, too. How?”
“Boy, how can you call yourself the Quileute historian? The Quileutes, Wanagi, and WaYa have always had magic in their blood, and it’s no different in the Spirit World. This is why we can temporarily walk the earth during times of great distress.”
“Ah, and I suppose the other nude men are also from the Spirit World?” I asked, motioning toward the buck-naked men who were surrounded by lusty vampire women, all flirting with them. Soon, they’d be throwing their panties at them. Forget soon. That was definitely a red thong that landed on the one dude.
The spirit man took the underwear and held it in front of him. “Did someone lose their breechclout?”
What the hell? A breechclout? I couldn’t stop laughing. The three men examined the red thong like an ancient artifact. They tugged, pulled, and stretched.
One of the men even tried it on. “It’s not very comfortable,” he said as he tugged it out of his ass.
“I really think we should get them some clothes,” Bella suggested to Carlisle. “The women are too distracted.”
“How come you’re not distracted?” Taha Aki asked her.
“You guys don’t hold a candle to my man. I am the Great Protector’s imprint, after all.”
“He’s vain as all hell about his looks, too,” I added. “In high school, all he had to do was smile, and girls would line up to offer up their bodies to him.”
“I never did,” Bella informed him.
“That’s why you’re his mate,” Taha Aki said. “To you, he’s just your other half. Now, did you get rid of that annoying, sex-crazed woman?”
“Yes, Chepi is on her way to La Push as we speak. I believe she’ll be of greater assistance there. In any case, we should get started. I’m sure Jared is anxious to meet Aha, Daka, and Hala. And you haven’t met Eleazar yet. He’s been waiting patiently for us to stop nattering on.”
“I’m so sorry, my friend.” Carlisle opened their circle up for the vampire. “Eleazar Denali, this is Taha Aki, my father.”
Eleazar stepped forward with his right foot, then bent his left leg, lowering himself into a courtly bow. When he righted himself, he looked in Taha Aki’s direction and said, “I am honored to be in your exalted presence, sire.”
“There, now. Stop. There’s no need for pageantry. I am just an old Quileute Chief.”
He didn’t look so old to me. He looked like he was about twenty-five. “If you’re so old, how come you look younger than me?” I asked.
“Ah, in the spirit world, we revert to our prime. But, of course, as wolves, we don’t age as long we keep phasing.”
“I see. And do our imprints come with us to the Spirit World?”
“If you’re lucky enough to have an imprint, then yes. But, let me introduce you and Eleazar to my friends.” Taha Aki motioned for the other three naked dudes. “This is Daka, the spirit shaman of the WaYa; Hala, the spirit shaman of the Wanagi; and Aha, the spirit shaman of our tribe.”
Yep, it just figured our spirit shaman was the one wearing the ladies’ thong. This was embarrassing. Well, Kim always made me address the sensitive issues with our kids, so I shouldn’t stop now. “Mr. Aha, you really should take those off. They’re women’s underwear,” I informed him.
“Underwear? I thought it was a breechclout. I don’t understand the concept of underwear. In my time, we were always in our natural state. These coverings do nothing to enhance movement. And this!” He pulled the thong and snapped at it. “This is simply not comfortable. How can women think with this on? I have to keep pulling on it so it doesn’t get sucked up inside my body!”
“Maybe you should take it off,” I suggested.
“That’s a good idea.” Aha slipped out of the thong panties and tossed them to me. I caught them, of course, but now I had someone’s underpants in my hand.
I held the panties with two fingers and asked Bella, “What am I supposed to do with these?”
She snapped a picture of me with her iPhone. “What did you go and do that for?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m close friends with your wife. It would be wrong if I did not share the expression on your face with her. It’s priceless.”
“Bella!” I growled.
“Oh, stop! You can growl all you want, but it’s not going to affect me. I live with Paul, remember? He’s a master growler.”
“Yeah, Paul has always been crankier than me.”
“It’s an alpha trait,” Taha Aki noted. “Alphas are overloaded with the world’s troubles. That’s why he needs a mate with a sense of humor, which the Healer definitely has.”
“Please stop calling me the Healer.”
“But you are the Healer!” Taha Aki, the three spirit shamans, and I all chorused.
“Oh, whatever. We should really start the meeting before these crazy women bite your penises off.”
“Did you have to be so graphic?” Aha grimaced as he covered his junk with his hands.
“If you insist on calling me the Healer instead of Bella, then yes.” My alpha’s wife had a satisfied smile on her face.
Just then, the blonde female vampire I remembered from Forks years ago and a Wanagi female vampire approached them. They were carrying bundles of clothing with them.
“Jared, this is Rosalie McCarty. She’s Emmett’s wife and mate. And this is Tawanna Wiyot. You might have met her sister Chepi when you deplaned in Oklahoma. She’s the one who boarded the plane. Tawanna and Carlisle just discovered they are mates.”
“Wow! Congratulations, Carlisle!” I pat the man on the back. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you! We’re both pleasantly surprised.”
I turned to the blonde. “Your husband and I have been hanging out together in La Push.”
Rosalie turned to me with a bright smile. “That’s so good to hear. Emmett needs more friends.” She surprised me with a hug before passing the bundles out to all the nude men from the spirit world. “Please put these on. They’re hospital scrubs. That way, as Bella said, you won’t get your tackles chewed up by walking piranhas. You wouldn’t want to return to the spirit world missing an organ, would you?”
Geez! No wonder poor Emmett is afraid of his wife. She threatens spirit shamans, for heaven’s sake. But, then again, sometimes I’m terrified of Kim, but she’s not as bad as some of the other imprints. Number one on the scary list is Bella. Emmett and Jasper are correct about her; she gently scolds her, which is the worst. It eats away at your conscience, and soon, you’re on your knees apologizing. Holy shit! Kim is like Bella! She gently scolds, too. Oh, my God! I never realized this. She rarely yells; that’s Leah’s style or Bab’s. I shudder when I think of how loud they can get, but Bella and Kim are gentle in their reprimands. I feel horrible for Paul and me.
“Jared, what is wrong?” Bella asked.
“Nothing. I was just thinking about Kim.”
“You must miss her.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Well, hopefully, we can quickly nip this Fuller issue in the bud. That way, we can all go home and sleep comfortably in our beds.” Bella bit her lips. “Sorry, that was insensitive to the vampires. I meant to say, we can all be at peace without our lives being threatened.”
The meeting at the tribal lodge was eye-opening. Apparently, Taha Aki and the spirit shamans felt great distress in the spirit world and descended to earth to provide assistance. The Wanagi were primarily left out of the troubles in La Push, which was a mistake. With the involvement of the evil vampires, shapeshifters alone would be unable to defeat the Volturi.
I was called up to speak on recent happenings. I explained about vampire reinforcements provided by Carlisle Cullen and the recent discovery of two new friendly vampires who happened to be Jason Jenks’s parents. I also informed them of Tony Fuller’s escape, aided by the Volturi.
“I believe Jason Jenks said the name of the corporation the Volturi were using is Turvoli Enterprises. That’s about all the information I have, except to add that as a representative of the Quileute Nation, I beg the assistance of the Wanagi Nation. With the exception of Paul, Sam, and myself-our pack of wolves and coyotes are largely untrained in fighting tactics. If I can recall, the Wanagi are warriors. We need your help.” I hoped I didn’t overstep my boundaries. Paul could be ridiculously stubborn about things. We had Jasper training everyone right now, but even I could see it wouldn’t be enough.
Eleazar Denali took over for me. “Mr. Cameron is correct in requesting assistance. The Volturi number thirty-one in total. It may not seem like many, but each member is highly trained. Some members have gifts. Alec can take away all of your senses, Jane can emit intense amounts of pain, and Aro can read your thoughts with one touch, but the most dangerous of the bunch is Chelsea-she can create false bonds. The rest have minor gifts, but every single member of the Volturi-including the mates of the three kings-is a highly trained fighter.
“That being said. With your help, we can destroy the Volturi. I have a gift. With my gift, I can read vampiric powers. Among the hundred or so vampires here, I can see that a good many of you are gifted with powers that can destroy the Volturi. Those same powers will be highly coveted by the Volturi kings. Make no doubt about it, if the Great Protector fails at destroying the coming evil, the Volturi will come for the Wanagi next.”
Qaletaqa, the Wanagi Shaman-not the one from the spirit world-stood up. “The Wanagi are warriors. We will fight to defend the Quileute land from the Volturi. We were formed to fight. Remember, the Wanagi and WaYa have always been brothers, our bond forged through the god of the underworld. Therefore, it goes without saying that with the alliance between the WaYa and the Quileute nations, the Wanagi are also connected to both.”
Hala, the Wanagi Spirit Shaman, spoke next. “Qaletaqa is correct. The Great Protector is also your protector. This is why he has taken on some vampiric traits. We must do all we can to save his people and, by extension, ours!”
Then, several Wanagi men started banging on a drum while singing a war chant. Soon, the entire tribe-the ones at the meeting, at least-joined in and began dancing and singing. It was a beautiful moment. So beautiful that I started crying.
“Jared, what’s wrong?” Bella asked, concerned.
“Bells, this is exactly what’s at stake. When I was a kid, there was a lot more tribal togetherness. This is what Tony Fuller has taken from us!” I stated angrily. “Why did he come after our tribe? His own tribe? What did we ever do to him to make him want to destroy us?”
“Oh, Jared.” Bella sat next to me and held me in her arms while I cried.
I felt so pathetic. Why was I crying in front of warriors?
Taha Aki and the three spirit shamans approached me. I sucked in a few deep breaths to try to stop the flow of tears, but I couldn’t. And then, something surprising happened. Taha Aki drew me into his arms.
“Crying is not shameful, my son. Crying is proof that you feel. A warrior needs to feel in order to fight for what is right because it is those feelings you are fighting for. A real warrior cries!” Taha Aki declared. “Now, look at me.”
I turned my tear-stained face to gaze into his eyes. Damn! I had the same eyes as he did.
“Are you done crying?”
“I believe so.”
“Good. Now, we figure out how to defeat the Volturi. The Wanagi will be chanting for some time while Eleazar identifies their gifts. Those of us who eat should eat.”
“Father, may I accompany you?” Carlisle asked.
“Of course.”
“I’m coming, too,” Bella declared. “I haven’t eaten anything since morning.”
“Of course, you are. You’re cooking for us.”
“Uh, no. I’ll take you out to eat, though. I bet none of you have gone to a restaurant. Besides, we have to pick up more groceries now that there are six of us who eat.”
“What is a restaurant?” Daka, the Waya spirit shaman asked.
“Carlisle, I explained about BOB. You can handle the restaurant?”
“Who is BOB?” I asked.
“BOB is an armless warrior.” Taha Aki shook his head.
“There’s an armless warrior named BOB?”
“A battery-operated boyfriend-a vibrator,” Bella whispered.
“Ha-ha! I suppose he is an armless warrior!” I chortled. “Where are we eating, Bells?”
We loaded ourselves into a passenger van that read Wanagi Tribe on the side. “They’re letting me borrow it,” Bella explained, then tossed the keys to me. “You know how I feel about driving.”
“Not a problem, girl. Where are we eating?”
“What are you craving?”
“You’re going to let me pick?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Kim never lets me pick.”
Bella simply winked at me. My alpha’s wife was awesome!
I googled the place I wanted to go to, and about thirty minutes later, I pulled into a strip mall with a Walmart, a Home Depot, a Dick’s Sporting Goods, and the restaurant I was aiming for.
“IHop?” Bella arched an eyebrow.
I nodded. “Yep, whenever I want to go to IHop, Kim complains that her pancakes are better. They’re not, you know.”
“Well, let’s do it then. I can go for those Swedish Crepes.”
We gathered together, ate, and discussed the situation. Taha Aki and the spirit shamans wanted to know more about my experience growing up on the reservation. So, I told them about growing up poor in a family filled with love. I also explained how I phased without warning and how the elders weren’t any help. I told them how, in hindsight, Tony Fuller had been the worst of them all.
“As soon as vampires were residing in the area, you should have been warned. I don’t understand the complacency of the current elders.” Taha Aki shook his head in disgust.
And then I had a question for Bella. “I understand why you didn’t call Paul to Oklahoma, but why me? Why not, Sam?”
“Easy. If it had been Sam, he would have told Paul before coming here because he tends to be very by the book. You, on the other hand, are a little like me. You trust your gut more. Besides, you’re good with weird.”
“That’s what Sam says about you-that you’re good with weird.”
“It’s not a lie.”
I decided to stay in Oklahoma and help plan the ensuing battle with the Volturi. As for Paul, he would have to deal with the situation in Forks with the crew he had on hand there. Besides, Bella and Carlisle assured me they sent him two assets from the Wanagi to take my place. Paul wouldn’t mind.
The spirit people all ate more food than I thought possible. After supper, Bella took us to Dick’s Sporting Goods and hooked us all up with clothes for a few days because none of us had anything with us. Apparently, Bella and Rose also came empty-handed. Carlisle and I had to help Taha Aki and the spirit shamans because they were protesting about wearing clothes. We had to explain to them that these days, they could get arrested for indecent exposure for walking around naked.
In the end, we just picked stuff out for them.
“Hey, Bella, are you sure about this?” I asked when I noticed the shopping cart was filled to the brim. The clothes were better quality than the stuff I usually wore. I typically purchased my clothes at Walmart since I had so many kids.
“Yeah, pick up a couple of extra things. Treat yourself, Jared.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, okay, then. I will.”
Bella took a look at my sneakers. They were a bit ratty. “And buy yourself a new pair of sneakers, and oh shit…”
“What?” I followed her line of sight. Taha Aki and crew had been barefoot this whole time, and we didn’t notice.
“If they don’t want sneakers, at least get them flip-flops,” Bella suggested. “I can’t believe we haven’t been kicked out of anywhere yet. We have to go to Walmart next for groceries and toiletries.”
Never. Never again am I going into a Super Walmart with people from the spirit world. We lost them. Bella and I freaking lost them. And what was worse? We lost the doc, too! Apparently, it was the first time he had ever been in a Walmart, and he was fascinated by the… What did he call it? An example of American consumerism at its finest.
Bella and I loaded enough groceries in the shopping cart to last a few days. I admit that shopping with Bella was more fun than shopping with Kim. Paul’s wife didn’t care what I added to the shopping cart. When we saw a new type of all-green Lucky Charms cereal, she said we were trying it as soon as we returned to the guest lodge. She also loaded up a bunch of steaks in the cart, stating we’d need energy as wolves.
“Bella, do the Wanagi even have a grill?”
“They do. I purchased a cheap gas grill when Paul stayed here the last time. It’s a good thing because I have a feeling Taha Aki and the spirit shaman are all carnivores.”
“Yeah, most men of their time were hunter-gatherers. They ate whatever they could get their hands on.”
“Maybe we should grill up burgers and chicken, too. I was surprised by how much they ate.”
“Yeah! They ate double what Quil generally puts away. Maybe there’s no food in the spirit world. But I don’t want to buy too much.” I threw a few packs of burgers and chicken into the cart before proceeding to the cheese aisle.
“Don’t worry. The Wanagi will just use whatever we don’t use in their community food kitchen,” Bella informed me. “We’ll be helping the community.”
“Bella, we need what the Wanagi have in La Push. We need to be the pillars of the community, not the inferior people Fuller turned us into.”
“I know, Jared. And I’m confident that collaboratively, we’ll bring Fuller down. But it has to be all three tribes plus the good vampires working together. I just know it.” She nodded with vehemence, and I was positive she was correct.
“I agree because the Great Protector is meant to bring peace to the supernatural world,” I told her.
“And that includes vampires, which the Wanagi are.”
“Clearly, it’s why Taha Aki and the three-spirit shaman showed up. Speaking of which, where are they?”
“I haven’t seen them since we left the fruit section. They should be fine-Carlisle is keeping an eye on them. We should probably look for them. Are you done, Jared? Do you need anything else for your stay?”
I scanned the cart. We had everything from toiletries to pajamas to groceries in there. It was probably more than we needed for just a couple of days. Bella even picked up duffel bags for us to carry everything in later. She thought of everything.
“Yes, I have everything. How about you?”
“I’m done. Let’s cash out and load everything up into the van.”
“Sounds like a plan.” When we got to the register, I took my wallet out.
“Put it away, Jared. I’ve got this.”
“Yeah, but Bella, let me at least contribute.”
“Jared, I know you mean well. I really do, but you don’t need to contribute financially. Besides, your contribution will come in a different form.”
“Really? I’ll do anything to help,” I said honestly. She didn’t need to buy the stuff I needed for my stay.
“Oh, yeah? I don’t grill, Jared. But I know you do. There are six of us who need to eat, remember?”
“I will make you proud with my grilling.” I reached over and hugged Bella. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied simply. The woman was perfect for our alpha. She had mountains of compassion, strength, and a heart as big as the sun. She was a listening ear for the imprints and wolves alike. Heck, she even had lunch with Ryan, Sammy, and Number Six every few weeks to hear about what they were up to. Not many people would go to the trouble of worrying about someone else’s kids, but she was kind enough to do so. She was precisely what our tribe needed, and we were lucky to have her.
While loading everything into the now packed passenger van, a bunch of cop cars pulled up to Walmart.
“Oh, my goodness. I wonder what’s going on?” Bella asked.
“Probably a shoplifter,” I replied. And then with my wolf hearing, I overheard a couple of cops talking about four naked men-either Hispanic or Native American-on bicycles. I turned to the alpha’s mate-technically, she was second in charge, I hoped. “Bella, I think we might have a problem,” I explained what I had overheard. Her face turned ashen, and we both ran straight for Walmart.
It was unbelievable that Walmart still let customers into the store despite obvious police trouble. It’s probably why they turned a profit year after year.
We found Carlisle in the stationary aisle, picking through pens. We noticed his shopping cart was filled to the brim with unnecessary crap. “Hello,” he greeted us with a friendly smile.
“Carlisle, why do you have a Cricut machine in your shopping cart?” Bella asked.
“I thought it might be fun to play with during the day when I can’t go out.”
“Okay, that may be so, but you don’t need to buy it now. We can buy one when we get home to Arizona. You don’t need it in Oklahoma.”
“Carlisle, is that an inflatable raft?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. Some kids told me they’re fun in the summertime. I can go floating down the Gila River at night.”
“Bella and I will personally drive you to a Super Walmart when we get home to Arizona. We’ll even bring my truck, but you can’t buy this stuff now. We have a war to fight, remember?”
“I suppose you’re correct. Would you float down the Gila River with me, Jared?”
“Hell, yes, buddy. Of course, I will. Why don’t you tell us where Taha Aki and the three spirit shamans are?” I prompted.
“They should be looking around the store. I last saw them near the bottled water. They couldn’t understand why water was bottled and sold when it’s a natural resource.”
“I see. Well, Carlisle, you’ll have to abandon the cart because…” I stopped mid-sentence because Daka, the WaYa spirit shaman, drove by us peddling a pink Disney princess bicycle with training wheels and tassels on the handles. He had clearly shed the scrubs he had been wearing because he was stark naked.
This is not fucking happening to me. I came here because the alpha’s imprint requested my presence. I did not come here to teach manners to a bunch of rowdy, ancient men from the spirit world. I do enough of that at home with my kids.
Oh, my God! Why is Taha Aki sitting in a shopping cart with a paddle? Holy shit. He’s paddling it. I have to admit, he’s going fast. This is embarrassing. He is a representative of our tribe. And a cop is chasing after him!
“He can’t still phase, can he?” Bella asked. The three of us glanced at each other before we took off after them. Poor Bella was knocked down by Hala, the Wanagi spirit shaman riding a scooter. He, too, was being chased by two police officers.
And then there was Aha-the spirit shaman of my tribe. Three cops tried to take him down, but he evaded them. With surprising agility, he hopped onto the tall display where the vacuums were, holding a mop before him like a spear. “Stand down! I demand you stand down forthwith!”
I can say one thing. The man sure had a commanding presence. Of course, his dick was dangling out in front of him, so it took away from his authority. Maybe we could pick up combat fatigues for him or at least a bath towel. What the hell was I thinking? I needed to get us out of this.
Bella approached us. “Carlisle, I don’t care what…” She stopped speaking. One cop was pushing a shopping cart carrying another policeman, and this time, Taha Aki was chasing after them. He held the paddle before him like a spear and roared like a lion. Wait a minute? He was a wolf! Why wasn’t he howling? No, no. Roaring is good. We don’t want him phasing in the middle of Walmart.
“My brother! I am coming!” Aha jumped off the display. “Raaawr… !” The three cops who had been trying to arrest him were now running for their lives with our spirit shaman on their heels.
After the shock wore off, Bella said, “Carlisle, I don’t care how unethical it is. You need to dazzle the hell out of those cops and get us out of this mess before we’re all arrested.”
“How do you know about dazzling?”
“I put two and two together. It was how Edward manipulated me while I was in high school.”
I became angry when I heard that. I started shaking. My alpha’s mate was manipulated by that vampire?
A cold but steady hand held me firmly, and a warm one squeezed my hand. “Jared, it’s in the past. In the end, Edward paid for his sins, but we need to focus on the now.”
“Bella is correct, Jared. You can phase later when we return to the reservation, but you must stay in control right now,” Carlisle stated.
“Besides, if you phase, Jared, you’ll miss the rest of the cray-cray that’s about to go down.”
“You’re right, Bella. This is some real heinous shit. My kids don’t even get into this much trouble!”
Carlisle stood up straighter and issued commands. “Bella, you start up the van and wait for us with the doors unlocked, but buy these pens for me. I’ve been looking for them-they’re my favorite.” He handed her a few packs of black gel-ink pens. Again, these are items he could purchase in Arizona, but at this point, I was convinced that the older supernaturals got, the odder they became. “Jared, you speak Quileute. Tell Aha and Taha Aki to leave the store at once. I’ll see what I can do to handle the police and round up the other two.”
Oh sure, leave me to handle the two biggest nutters of the four. They have the cops running scared, for spirit’s sake!
“Bella, pull up to the lawn and garden side of the store,” I told her. “People always forget about that exit.”
“Got it!” she said before taking off.
Of course, to make matters worse, my phone buzzed. It was Paul. I’d better pick it up.
“Hey, Paul.”
“ Where the hell are you, Jared?”
“I’m in Oklahoma, and I can’t talk right now. I’m in a bit of a jam.”
“ What kind of a jam? Can I help?”
“Yeah, I wish you could, but…” I stopped talking to Paul and turned my attention to Daka, who had ditched the Disney Princess bike and was now hurling eggs at the cops. I ducked to avoid getting hit. When I got back up, the WaYa spirit shaman had disappeared.
“Are you alright, sir?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“You might want to leave the store. These guys are dangerous. We’re pretty sure they escaped from the psych ward.”
“Uh, sure. Thanks for your help.”
I could hear Paul yelling on the line. “Jared, what the hell is going on? Are you okay, man? Were those cops? Where’s Bella. I know she’s with you. I can tell with my tracking gift.”
“Calm your alpha ass down and be glad you’re not dealing with the shit we’re dealing with here!”
I hung up on my alpha. I didn’t have time to deal with Paul because I needed to get us all out of here fast. I jogged through the aisles, searching for Aha and Taha Aki, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. I did, however, locate Hala, the Wanagi spirit shaman. He had abandoned his scooter and crouched stealthily in the housewares aisle.
I was about to grab him when a cop yelled, “I got one!” He had his gun pointed straight at Hala. This was not good, not good at all. “Put your hands up where I can see them!” Back-up soon arrived to support the cop.
Holy fuck! This was a fiasco and a half. I’m not sure how to extract Hala from this. He is going to jail for sure.
Hala stood in his naked glory with his hands up, then quick as lightning, he kicked a mug straight at the cop with the gun. It landed on his forehead and knocked him out. Then Hala flung glass plates at the cops like they were frisbees. All of them went running for their lives. The spirit shaman went chasing after them.
I ran in the opposite direction and caught sight of Daka, the WaYa spirit shaman, crawling on his stomach through the women’s lingerie section. I caught him and shoved him into a fitting room. “Wait here! Don’t move.”
I grabbed the closest thing resembling clothes I could find, which turned out to be a purple floral nightgown, brought it back to the fitting room, and put it on him. I thanked the spirits I had experience dressing my kids. I also threw a bubblegum pink ball cap on his head and mine. I warned him not to antagonize anyone as we headed to the Lawn and Garden section. I sent him out the door and ensured he entered the waiting passenger van. That was one down.
And then there was an announcement. “Attention Walmart shoppers. Due to an unexpected disturbance, please find the nearest exit and leave the store immediately.”
Well, shit. I can’t leave the store. I need to find the crazy Quileute disrupters and get them in the van. I spotted a Walmart employee vest on a hook in the corner of the Lawn and Garden section and put it on.
Another employee spotted me and shouted, “Hey, we need to get customers to leave the store. They’re sending SWAT in.”
Seriously, the SWAT team? What was the police force coming to? Were they afraid of four unarmed guys? Wimps!
“Sure thing. That’s what I’m doing right now,” I replied, then took off searching for Aha and Taha Aki. I found them clear on the other side where the groceries were. They were in the fruit section lobbing apples at the cops with surprising accuracy. When a couple of the police officers tried to charge at them, they knocked over a display of melons. The cantaloupes went rolling towards the cops, tripping them up.
Suddenly, I heard an announcement on the police radio urging them to leave the store because they were sending in the SWAT team. The cops went scrambling out the door without a backward glance.
Seriously, they’re leaving? What the hell happened to public safety? There are customers in the store.
Another announcement urging Walmart shoppers to leave the store came through the PA system, but the customers weren’t budging. They were all shopping like it was a run-of-the-mill evening. With a wolf call, I caught Aha and Taha Aki’s attention. Grabbing a shopping cart, I ordered the two errant spirit leaders to get in and high-tailed it out of Walmart through the Lawn and Garden exit.
Daka was sitting in the van with Hala. Carlisle must have grabbed him earlier.
“We’re just waiting on Carlisle,” Bella informed me. “He’s in the store retrieving the security tapes.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said just as the vampire doctor hopped into the passenger seat.
Bella drove out of the parking lot and started heading back to the Wanagi Reservation. “You four are not allowed out into a public place again!” She scolded the four spirit men, who didn’t look contrite at all. No, in fact, they were laughing.
“That was entertaining!” Taha Aki chortled. “We should do it again.”
“Did you see them running? They were terrified of us!” Aha added.
Never. Never in my life did I think an event would exceed my shock when I first changed into a wolf. Until tonight, that is. Four delinquent men from the spirit world treated a Super Walmart as their playground. Even my kids were better behaved than these guys.
“I really like this spirit stick, but it’s very bland. It needs more color,” Daka commented, holding out the rake he swiped as we exited the Lawn and Garden department.
“Mine is interesting, too.” Hala showed everyone his mop. “It has fur on top.”
It dawned on me that if these fuckers were here to set our world straight, we were screwed! Or, maybe not, a surprise element was always a good thing.
By the time we returned to the Wanagi Reservation, there was a full-blown powwow going on with all the tribal members. A bonfire was going, drums were beating, and tribal members were dancing around. Taha Aki and the spirit shaman went to join in the festivities while Bella, Carlisle, and I put the groceries away. Eleazar, Rosalie, and Carlisle’s mate, Tawanna helped.
We explained the fiasco with the men from the spirit world while loading the fridge.
“I don’t know about you, but I need a drink,” I announced after we were done.
“I shall join you,” Carlisle agreed. “I can use a bit of libation.”
“Vampires drink?” I asked.
“Yes, we drink blood.” When my eyes widened, Carlisle laughed, high-fiving his friend Eleazar. “You didn’t think we were going to hunt for human blood at a bar, did you, Jared?” He slapped me on the back. “You’ve been watching too much True Blood, my friend. We can drink hard liquor without having to bring it back up,” he explained.
“Well, then, let’s find a bar.”
“I know of one. It’s a bit of a dive but near enough to walk. It’s only about eight miles away,” Tawanna said.
“Hey, um, eight miles is a cakewalk for us supernaturals, but Bella is human,” I pointed out.
“Oh, don’t worry about her. One of us will carry her,” Rosalie said. “She’s used to this.”
Bella smiled and winked at me. “I’ll be fine, Jared. I’ve been doing this since I was a teenager.”
And so, we hit a dive bar in the middle of Podunk, Oklahoma. There was nothing here except for a gas station, a bar, and tumbleweeds. Hell, there was more in La Push-at least we had a couple of restaurants there.
The bar was packed, especially considering it was in the middle of nowhere. Upon entering, to the right, there was a long bar where two bartenders poured drinks. There were square tables that had seen better days scattered throughout the establishment. Each table seated four; most were taken, but we found two empty ones and brought them together. At the far end was a stage where a cover band played familiar tunes. Directly in front of the stage was a dance floor where several couples danced.
A cocktail waitress with big, blonde, overprocessed hair and bright red lipstick approached their table. She wore zebra print leggings and a tight, black t-shirt with the bar’s name emblazoned on the front. She reminded me of Mrs. Mallory over at the beauty salon in Forks-stuck in the eighties forever. “What can I get for you folks?”
She was friendly, which was a good thing. Mrs. Mallory was also known for being friendly, as was her daughter-maybe a little too familiar, especially when it came to men. I put an arm around Bella as protection for me and for her. But, then again, the waitress wasn’t even paying attention to me or Carlisle. She was focused on Eleazar.
“How can I help you, handsome?”
“Tell me, linda, what is the strongest alcohol you carry?”
“How did you know my name is Linda?”
“I didn’t know it was your name, but it suits you. Linda means lovely in Spanish.”
“Oh,” the waitress breathed. She looked like she was going to orgasm on the spot. She quickly recovered and stated, “We’ve got the usual: whiskey, bourbon, vodka, gin.”
And then Eleazar fixed his gaze directly onto the waitress. “And do you have anything stronger, mi linda Linda?”
Damn! The guy has some skills. He could give Paul a run for his money. Is this an example of smoldering?
“Well, I suppose I can get you a shot of 190-proof Everclear.”
Eleazar put a pouty face on and, once again, looked into the server’s eyes. He opened his wallet, which was packed with more money than I made in a week. “Only a shot?” He took a crisp one-hundred-dollar bill out and held it before her face.
She snapped the cash up and stuffed it into her bra. “How many bottles do you want?”
“Why don’t we begin with seven?” the vampire suggested.
“Seven it is.”
Bella spoke quickly, “Excuse me, would you mind adding a glass of JD on the rocks for me.”
“Bring her a bottle. Add it to my tab,” Eleazar ordered, handing her a credit card and another hundred.
“Oh, but I don’t need a bottle,” Bella protested.
The waitress ignored her, stuffed the money in her bra, and purred to Eleazar, “Anything you want, tiger.”
“Jesus, what the fuck was that?” I asked. “You had her eating out of the palm of your hand.”
“That was an example of vampire lure and cash talking,” Rosalie explained. “So, are we getting drunk tonight? I assume so with the Everclear.”
“I’ve never actually been drunk,” Carlisle admitted. “I’ve only been to a bar once with Embry and Paul.”
“Buddy, we’re getting hammered tonight. After what we went through at that Walmart, we need to forget our troubles for a bit. Besides, I’m a lot more fun than Paul or Embry. Unlike Bella and me here, those two can be a little too uptight at times.”
“Jared, why are you bringing me into this?”
“I know everything you did with Jake in Vegas, Bells. Trust me, you know how to have fun.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, alright. I suppose I can bring out my inner lush tonight.”
The waitress returned with seven bottles of Everclear, a bottle of Jack Daniels, seven mason jars filled with ice, and a jug of orange juice-presumably to mix with the Everclear, which I was definitely going to do. “I’ll be back to check on you, handsome,” she said to Eleazar as she left the table.
Eleazar slid a bottle of Everclear to each of us. Bella declined hers and took the whiskey instead. “I might drop dead if I have this.” She grabbed a mason jar filled with ice and poured herself a little.
“Well, then, let’s toast our friendship,” Eleazar said as he cracked open a bottle of Everclear. I grabbed a mason jar, thinking he would pour a little for me. But then, I noticed every vampire twisted the lids off their own Everclear bottle.
“Jared, are you ready?”
Damn! These vampires are serious about their drinking. Now, as a wolf, alcohol didn’t really affect me, but I’ve never had anything that’s 190-proof. Well, I might as well join them. I reached for a bottle, cracked it open, and held it up.
“Salud!” Eleazar said, and we clinked our bottles and Bella’s mason jar together.
“Down the hatch!” Emmett’s beautiful wife, Rose, said, chugging the entire bottle in one go. The other vampires followed suit.
Bella and I stared in shock until we were jogged out of our awe when Carlisle said, “Aren’t you going to have some?”
“Cheers!” Bella downed about half the glass and whispered, “Human, remember?”
The vampires nodded in understanding and then turned to me. Great! Thanks for throwing me under the bus.
“Bottoms up!” I put the bottle to my lips and took an initial swig. It wasn’t too bad, so I drank a bit more. And a little more. Then I felt it in my throat and my gut. Everything was on fire. It was not like a spicy food fire, but my body had a chemical reaction fire. It was like I had drunk gasoline straight from the hose. I put the bottle down. I was only a third of the way done.
Grabbing the orange juice, I chugged the entire thing like it was water, but it still wasn’t enough. So, I grabbed Bella’s Jack Daniels and downed the whole bottle. Surprisingly, I felt better.
The waitress came around to see if we were okay. She saw all the empty bottles, and her jaw dropped. “That was quick,” she noted. “Would you like something else?”
Eleazar spoke up. “We’ll take a case of the Everclear.”
“A case? I’m not sure if we have a case left.”
“Well, then, we’ll take whatever you have left and a case of your next strongest spirit.”
“I’m not sure if I can serve you that much alcohol legally.”
“Of course, you can, mi bonita Linda.” Eleazar smoldered and put two fingers up to her lips, then winked. “I won’t say a word, nor will my friends.” He held a one-hundred-dollar bill in front of her face, then Carlisle upped the ante and slipped a second one into her hand.
“Ohh…” Okay, this time, I’m pretty sure Linda orgasmed-whether it was due to Eleazar’s flirtation or the extra cash was debatable. She had a serene, blissful expression on her face. Her eyes were closed, and she inhaled, then exhaled before opening them again. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“God, damn, Eleazar! You’ve got game. The only person I know who could pull that off is Paul. I remember one time when we were in high school, he dated the Ahoka twins simultaneously. I think we were sophomores, and they were seniors. I thought he’d be generous enough to share one of them with me, but the stingy bastard took them both on at once.”
“Really? You wouldn’t think Paul would be so carefree with his affections.”
“Trust me. My husband used to be a man whore,” Bella noted
“It doesn’t bother you?” Rose asked with a shocked expression on her face.
“Nope, not at all. Paul sowed his oats before he met me. Besides, I was pretty bad during college, too, so I can’t say anything about his past.”
“How bad?”
“During college, she dated several baseball players. Some of them are even in the major leagues now.” I told them. “And she even ruined the careers of some of them.”
“How did you find that out?” Bella questioned.
“Paul’s a jealous fucker. He ran it through his mind a few times while we were phased. I think he might have whined at one point.”
The waitress returned to the table with a dolly loaded with several boxes. “We had a case of Everclear left and two more bottles. I also brought two cases of Clem’s special hooch-straight up and apple pie flavored. He distills it right here. And I brought a case of Jack Daniels. Now, you let me know if you need anything else.”
“Excuse me,” Bella said. Linda turned her head. “Can the kitchen grill up a burger and fries for me? If I’m going to drink, I’ll need some food.”
“Sure. Everything on it?”
“Yep.”
“Does anyone else want something from the kitchen?”
“I’ll take a burger, fries, rings, and an order of chicken wings if you’ve got them,” I said. “That was a good idea to eat, Bells.”
“I’ll get them out just as soon as I can.” Linda nodded to us, winked at Eleazar, and then left.
One hour, two jars of moonshine, and three bottles of whiskey later, I was lit up like the fourth of July, and so were the vampires. The vamps were in love with the moonshine-especially the apple pie one because they could actually taste the apples and cinnamon. Every single vampire was drunk with a capital D. Carlisle was practically mauling his mate, Tawanna. Those two needed to get into a bed and start mating pronto.
“Carlisle, you two need to get a room and just get the initial mating done and over with. Take your mate to your bed, fuck her, and bite her!”
“Yes!” Eleazar cried, then high-fived me. “Do what Jared said.”
Carlisle turned to us, then said, “I don’t have a bed to take her to-not here, in Arizona, or in any of the homes I own.”
“What?” Eleazar asked. “Why not? You were with Esme for many decades, didn’t you…”
“No,” Rose said. “They rarely did. She didn’t think it was appropriate behavior when they could be overheard, and Edward backed her.”
“Dude, we need to fucking take you mattress shopping when we get back to Arizona because that shit ain’t right. You can’t just go out into the woods and get it on all the time. And the beach is worse; you get stuck in sand in all sorts of places. No, sir, we need to get you a mattress ASAP.”
“Don’t you have a mattress, Tawanna?” Bella asked.
“No, I never needed one. I’ve never… I’ve never been married. My sister used to be married before the change.”
“Jared, I’m afraid you’re going to need to have a talk with Carlisle before their mating,” Rose announced.
“What? Why me? What am I supposed to talk to him about.”
“You are going to teach him about cunnilingus.” Rose nodded to me.
“Cunni what?” I questioned.
“Oral sex,” Bella explained. “You will teach him about how important it is to prepare her for the coming invasion.”
“Bella, sex is not war.”
“I know that, but still, you have to make sure Carlisle knows what to do. Rose and I will handle Tawanna.”
“Why can’t it be Eleazar?” I asked.
“Because he’s old school, despite his looks,” Rose explained. “You’re of the younger generation.”
“And Kim has bragged about your bedroom prowess to the other imprints. She said you enjoyed going down on her.”
“Carlisle, don’t do it too much, or she’ll come to expect it,” Eleazar warned.
What the fuck? No, no, no. That’s not right. “Dude, that’s not fair to your mate. You have to treat her with kid gloves in bed. And besides, if you want your dick sucked occasionally, you’d better be sure you’re paying her some frequent lip service.”
“I had no idea it was so complex. You see, I never saw Esme fully unclothed when we had relations. I usually just pulled her nightgown up and we… Well, I will need lessons from Jared. Is there something I could practice on before I do it for real? I know women sometimes use a carrot or a banana.”
“Bella, be a sweetheart and pass me a bottle of Jack.” I twisted the lid open and downed the entire bottle in one go. This had to be the most fucked up day in my life. Somehow, I was enlisted into teaching a four-hundred-year-old vampire how to go muff-diving. “Carlisle, we’ll discuss this over the next couple of days. Eleazar, maybe you should join in on these discussions, too. You’ve got to be fair to your mate.”
“That’s wonderful! I’ll be looking forward to the lessons, my friend.”
“Not a problem.” I gazed out onto the dance floor. “We should dance. Who wants to dance?”
“Oh, my God! Yes!” Rosalie grabbed my arm and yanked me to the dance floor. Thank fuck I was a wolf because, if I were human, my arm would have been twisted off. So, we went to the dance floor, rocked out together, and then joined in on a country line dance. Everyone else from our table joined us. We stayed on the dance floor and danced to a few more tunes, but Bella disappeared. Maybe she went to the bathroom.
And then all hell broke loose. I happened to be dancing to a slower tune with Rosalie when some chick got a little too chummy, told me I had a nice ass, and pawed it. “I want the next dance, cowboy.”
“Whoa there!” I told her. “Hands off, lady. I’m married!”
“How about it? Just you and me for the next dance. I’ll make it worth your while.” And then she licked her lips. The woman had a shock of curly, red hair. She looked to be my age, in her thirties and wore jeans, a tight t-shirt, and a black straw hat. She also wore hot pink, frosted lipstick, which stood out like a beacon. I’m no expert, but the lipstick didn’t go with her hair coloring at all.
“Excuse me, you’re interrupting our dance!” Rose boomed with a fierce expression. Damn, poor Emmett must cower under that glare. Sadly, the redhead was undeterred. For some reason, I had become her prey, which was an odd thing to say, considering I’m a wolf. But it was the truth; women like her scared the shit out of me.
I mouthed, “Help,” to Eleazar, who was standing nearby filming us with his phone. He replied with a thumbs up. Good, he was going to get this lady away from me. Ooh, and the band is covering one of my favorite songs, Gretchen Wilson’s “All Jacked Up.” Things are looking up.
Oh, no! What the hell is she doing?
“Bella!”
Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction 
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