Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Louisiana Love

By Midnight Dreamer

Chapter 24: Please Don’t hate me.

 July 5th, 1896

(Arabella’s Pov)

When the Major left I broke. Was he angry with me for leaving Char, for not staying with her. Angry because I should have been more vigilant of my surroundings and not have gotten hurt. Or did he hate me for loosing his child that I hadn’t yet told him about? So many questions swirled in my head has i lay there sobbing.

When Char and Peter came in after they heard the window crash I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen. When they asked me where the Major went the only answer i could give them was “gone”. I didn’t know where he went or if he was gonna return. Char sat with me while i cried. I told her everything i was feelin.

“Char..i..don’t …know ..if he’s ….comin back…” i cried into her chest as i clutched her shirt with everything i had left in me.

“Oh sugar he’ll be back. He just has to go blow off some steam. He is hurt and angry, but he’ll come back to you. He loves you.”

“How…can…you..you…be so …sure?” i sobbed.

“Cause nothin can keep you from your soulmate Bella.”

I hadn’t thought of that. He may not be able to leave me because of the pull but that doesn’t mean that he still can’t hate me. I started cryin even harder.

“Bella honey what is this cryin about now?”

“Just c..cc..ause.. he has to come…back..don’t mean…he ain’t gon..nna. Hate…meee.” i sniffled.

“Oh Bella.”

She just pulled me closer and hugged me. I don’t know how long we stayed like that but it seemed like only minutes before Peter threw the door open and grabbed Char, droppin to their knees while lowerin their eyes to the floor. Which could only mean one thing. My Major had returned.

That thought alone caused me to sob harder, and curl into a tighter ball. He must have felt my pain, causin him to release a feral growl toward Peter and Char. Neither made to move out of the room. I felt as he came closer to the bed. He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close. I nuzzled into his neck and continued to cry. He began to purr. This calmed me slightly.

I felt his head snap up. Peter and Char must have moved. A low growl rumbled in his chest. I wasn’t sure what caused it. They were leaving. Perhaps it was a warning to stay out once they left. I heard the door click silently closed.

My Major turned his attentions back to me. Rubbing his face against the top of my head while he started to purr again. I was sure this was only because of the mating pull. He was trying to calm my hystrics long enough to tell me how much he hated me for killin his child. He would leave or avoid me. He would probably rather be dead then be with a child murderer. Killing two birds with on stone so to speak. Cause him leaving would kill not only himself but me as well. I should have died. It should have been me. He growled lowly again.

“Arabella I don’t know what has you feelin such self hatred and loathin but you best stop it. It isn’ good for you to think that way.”

“Don’t try to make me feel better, i deserve to feel this way. I killed our child. I should be dead, you should not have come back.” i was getting angry with him for not understanding that i need to feel this way.

“Why shouldn’t i have come back. Do you not wish to have me here?” he asked soundin hurt. I felt my heart break a little more at the thought of me bein the cause of yet more of his pain.

“I love you but all i cause you is trouble and heart ache. I hurt you. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have to be with a murderer.” i started cryin again.

“Is that what you think, Arabella?” he growled out. I was confronting the Major i knew that much. Jasper never called me Arabella when we were alone. He always called me Bella or Darlin. He must really be angry with me. I nodded tryin to push myself away from him. He pulled me closer to him still.

“You are not a murderer Arabella. Believe my words, i know what a murderer looks like and you are not it. I have lived blood, death and carnage longer then anyone should ever have to. You my mate are no murderer. That boy and his accomplice did this to you and our child…” he paused as if only now realising what he had said. “Our child..” he repeated.

I felt his fingers under my chin pullin my face up so i would meet his eyes. When my eyes finally meet his what i saw was not what i had been expecting. There was no hatred, no anger, instead i found myself starin into pools of crimson sadness, heartache, and love. Before i could stop myself I blurted out the only thing my mind kept coming back too..

“Please don’t hate me.” i cried as i clung tighter to him.

I felt his body quivering under me. He was cryin. I pulled myself closer and reached my hands up to his hair. Running my fingers through his silky locks seemed to calm both of us some. It was then that i noticed the blood on his clothing. Was that from me or someone else. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes once again with a questioning look in my own. He looked back at me and shook his head almost like he didn’t want to answer.

I knew then where he went. Why he said what he had said about bein a murderer. He found who hurt me. He found who had killed our child. He had killed them. He was a murderer. I pulled him to me. Feelin the need to comfort him. I know it is wrong to think the things that were running through my mind at that moment. I was glad he found them, i was glad he had killed them for killing our child.

It broke me when Carlisle said i may never have children again. Hell we were both surprised that it was even possible in the first place. Vampires are not supposed to have the ability to produce children. Our child was a miracle and now that miracle was taken away by a man who had to release his anger onto me for some unknown reason.

“Wait you said boy. What boy?”

“That servant at the grocier. It was his scent that was all over you and the alley where you were hurt. Him and one other.”

“You mean Micheal did this to me?” i was getting angry.

“Yes Arabella that boy did this to us. He almost took you away from me. He killed our child.” my anger must have been effectin him as well.

“Why did you leave me?” i know the question was a little off handed but i needed to know.

“I didn’t want to hurt you by accident when my rage was that out of control. I needed to do something to make this right. To fix this…I should have been there to protect you, I should have been there faster.” he said hangin his head.

“Look at me My Major.” i said putting my hand under his chin liftin it slightly so i could see him. “This is not your fault you could not have know he was gonna come after me. It is i who should be blamed for not just stayin with Charlotte till you and Peter returned. It is i you should be angry with.”

“I could never be angry with you for this. I could also never hate you. Arabella Darlin i love you more then life itself. If that boy would have succeeded in taken you from me i would have followed not long after you.”

“Then I’m truly glad that Carlisle was able to save me my Major, cause a world without you would not be a world i would want to live in.” i brought my lips up to his.

What started out as a comforting kiss turned passionate and steamy. I felt his arms gently squeeze me to him. Layin me back on the bed softly his marble body covered mine. He didn’t put any of his weight fully on me but enough that i would feel him on every inch of skin. He kissed everywhere he could reach that wasn’t covered with cloth.

“Major please..” i begged. 

I know that i should be resting and recovering but i needed my Major. I needed to feel complete and whole again. Only my Major could bring about that fullness my body so desperately craved.

He gently lifted me taken my night gown off that Char must have put me in after the Doc was done sewin me up. He slowly caressed every inch of my body. Placing gentle kisses and licks on my stitches. I could feel the tingle of his venom settling into the wounds. He slowly made his way down my body. Never have i felt so loved then when i was with this man. His cool breath was getting closer to where i wanted him most. Buckin my hips to get them closer to his lips. A sensual growl rumbled low in his chest. Making me want him all that much more.

Torturously slow his tongue sliped inside me. I didn’t even try to stop the breathy moan that escaped my lips. He once again growled as he began to devour me as if i was the only water for miles is a burning desert. As i could feel the start of my orgasm building he slid two of his magical fingers inside of me, stroking that spot that only he seemed to be able to reach. I cried out his name as i fell graciously over the edge into blissful oblivion.

As i came down from the pleasure induced high i felt him slowly kissing his way back up my body. When our lips met it wasn’t rushed or hard. It was a slow and sensual kiss. He kissed from my lips, across my check to just below my ear. I could feel the tip of his pulsing cock at my enterence as his cool breath whispered across my skin.

“I love you my Mate, my mistress, My Bella.” he entered me slowly as the words slid from his lips like a gentle caress.

He filled me completely. I felt a rush of warmth enter my entire body. He slowly began to move within me. The gentle motions to which we made love felt like the push and pull of the tides rushing the shores. Every inch of our bodies gently caressing the others’ as we moved together. That familiar tighting in my stomach signaling that the end was nearing was overwhelming. I didn’t want this to end not yet it felt to good. I felt complete, whole, home.

“Not yet…please not yet..” i whispered as i clung tighter to his shoulders.

He slowed his pace even more. I could tell he didn’t want this to end as he used his gift to show me he understood. That he too did not want for this to be over yet. Leaning down and kissing me slowly again. We could feel our love swirling around us. Almost as if his gift made it tangable..something you could grab onto and never let go of.

It seemed as if only seconds had passed when his muscled started to spasm. He was closing in on his orgasm as well. His pace quickened. Not as fast or as hard as our usual but enough to elicit sensual moans from lips with every stroke. His moans fallin into purrs and grunts.

“Cum with me my Bella, let me feel all of you. Cum for me.” he moaned to me.

That was all it took i could feel that spring tighten at his words and it only took a few more thrusts before we were both fallin into that oblivion that only we could give to each other.

“Yes Jasper, my Major, yes.yes yes..” i cried as i felt him explode within me. That feeling alone was amazing. If i died right now in his arms i would surely be in heaven.

I curled my self into his chest when he collapsed beside me, wrapping his arms around me. He began running just his finger tips up and down my side and back. I sighed in contentment.

“Sleep Darlin’ i will be here when you wake.” i nodded, and slipped off into one of the most fantastic dreams.

(Major’s POV)

When i returned from taken care of those vile children who hurt my mate i could feel someone else in the room with her. This angered me. Who dare come close to my mate when she is hurt like this. I jumped back through the window i had left out of. My second and his mate where there. The moment they knew i was there he pulled her away from my mate and went into submission. Good. 

I strode toward my mate. Still pissed off that someone would hurt her. When i saw the condition she was in I could feel her pain radiate through my entire being. I had let someone hurt her. I could feel Jasper returning he would know what our mate needed. As i started to receed back i caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I snapped my head up to see my second grab his mates hand and start to back slowly out of the room still on his knees. I growled lowly letting him know he was seen but i was accepting his leave.

(Jasper’s POV)

Once the door closed behind them i turned back to my mate. I could feel her sadness. The emotions she was emitting where not ones i had expected. Hurt, sadness, emptiness. Those i knew would be there, it was the hatred, self-loathing, and fear that were not supposed to be there. I held her close to me. When she began to speak once she settled enough i was surprised with what she had said.

She thought that i would hate her. That i should leave at let her die. This made me angry with her. I could feel my demon coming out again. But decided to reign him in slightly. I told her she was not to think those vile thoughts that it was the boys fault and not hers. When her sadness turned to anger i was surprised but then again i knew she would get there adventually.

When she said our child i was shocked. I repeated it over in my head several times.  Then when i said it myself it really took hold that it was not only her that i would have lost. So i repeated it one more time out loud ‘Our child’.

She took me in her arms when i started to sob over what i could have lost. When she begged me not to hate her, i told her i could never hate her that i loved her. Then she questioned me about the boy, as if she had forgotten i had said anything about him. I told her it was that grocier boy. When she said his name i could feel the anger radiate off of her. It affected me only slightly but enough for her to see. 

She then surprised me by askin why i left, so i told her in all honesty that i was too angry about what had happened that i left so i didn’t accidently hurt her more.  I let my head fall. When she demanded i looked at her i didn’t want to see the repulsion in her eye with what i had done. But i looked anyway. When i saw the understanding and love in her eyes i knew why she was my perfect mate. I told her i loved her and when she kissed me it started out loving but turned into something way more.

When she begged me to make love to her with those two little words i couldn’t stop. I gave my mate exactly what she needed. I licked her wounds as i made my way to my heaven on earth and slowly brought her to bliss with my fingers and tongue.

When we connected this time it was not our usual rough and ready, ride until you die session. No this was us making the ultimate connection between mates. We made love. When it was over i pulled her into me and caressed her body with my fingers. Letting her fall alseep against me with a promise that i would still be right there when she woke. I meant every word i said to her. I would be there in the morning and every morning from now on if she would have me.

It was then that i made the decision. Not only would my darlin Arabella be my Mate but i would make her my wife.