Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Reborn

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 08: The Anchor

Kara sat next to Alex in the plush back leather chairs of the private jet, staring at Leslie who was in a similar chair facing the two. The blonde was becoming a bit uncomfortable with the intensity of Leslie’s stare, one the doctor didn’t try to hide.

“So,” Kara started, hoping to break the tension a bit, “any idea how this is going to work? How we can get my memories back without me becoming a full blown psycho addict and rage monster again?”

She asked the question with a soft smile, hoping the playfulness of her voice would hide the tension she felt.

Leslie was not smiling. Alex reached over and gently took Kara’s hand, but would not look at her.

“No idea.” Leslie told her after a few moments. “Sounds like some of your memories are going to come back in your dreams regardless, so I have to figure out a better way to control the order. Unfortunately, regaining memories doesn’t exactly work like that. They have a tendency to come out in their own manner, possibly triggered by something only your subconscious recognizes.”

Kara knew this, but hoped the woman Alex placed so much faith in would have a better plan. Instead of asking more questions, the three woman lapsed into another silence.

Kara had thought of calling Bruce as they left Pensacola, but that idea was shot down by both her traveling companions as soon as they took off. Neither her sister or new/old therapist seemed happy with Bruce knowledge of her return from the sun. Kara didn’t see what the big deal was. She remembered Bruce clearly. She knew she and Alex had hung out with him often in addition to them fighting crime together over the years.

Kara checked the time and saw they still had forty minutes to go before landing in Raleigh.

“Do you remember Lobo?” Alex asked suddenly.

“Of course.” Kara told her, chuckling. “How could anyone forget Lobo? We are kind of tight. Wait, we didn’t have a falling out, did we?” she asked worriedly.

Alex shook her head. “No, Lobo will always be absolutely devoted to you.” the brunette assured her. “What do you remember about him?”

Kara laughed despite the seriousness of Alex’s question. “Uh, a lot. Remember the time he dove his ship into the ocean not far from us when we had our birthday party on Bruce’s yacht? The wave nearly capsized the boat. I didn’t think Mom could scream that loudly. Bruce was so angry. Lobo is such a kid when it comes to dolphins. I remember when the two of us went out on the Gulf of Mexico… why are you looking at me like that?”

Alex glanced at Leslie, a concerned look on her face.

“You may as well test what she knows. If she freaks out and decompresses the plane, it’s on you.” Dr. Thompkins said.

“Do you remember how we met Lobo?” Alex asked carefully.

Kara actually snorted. “Hard to forget. He tried to take me to Astra and I kicked his ass. You shot him a few times too. That was when we met Cat Grant and Lois Lane, right? Then he helped us stop Myriad.”

Alex was watching Kara very carefully. “But you don’t remember the details of Myriad yet. What about Lobo’s past? Before he met us? What do you remember about that?”

Kara concentrated on her eight-foot-tall friend who loved to bombard her with playful sexual innuendos and passes.

“I know he was sad and he hid his pain behind his sarcasm. He was… lonely. He killed off his people and never knew why, not really. He claimed it was because he was born evil, but I never bought that. I asked him once how someone evil could have fought with me for something so good when he really had no reason to. He never could answer. I’m not going to have to hide from Lobo, am I?”

It was Alex’s turn to snort. “Hide? No. He hasn’t been to Earth since you have been… gone. He checked in with me a few times at the Fortress, but you know how long range intergalactic communications are. Lobo has been busy hunting down the Diasporans who escaped after the invasion failed.”

Catching Alex’s attention, Leslie shook her head. “That’s enough. When we land I want you two to go to your special Hangar and beam yourselves to the Fortress while I get a car and drive to Midvale. Stay there until I say you can come to your parents home. I’m going to take a wild guess and say the family situation is screwed beyond belief. I also need to clear out the flying rodent, Then we will talk about some ideas I have. Idiotic ideas that are reckless and basically one in a million shots, but considering you burned up, rebuilt your body and flew back from the sun, one in a million shots seem doable.”

“Wait,” Kara argued, “I remember Bruce. Seeing him won’t trigger anything. He’s my friend and I want to see him.”

Leslie stared at Kara for a moment then looked to Alex who sighed. “It’s probably better if you do what she says, Kara.” Alex told her gently. “Please? I’m sure you will see him soon enough, but I asked her here because as much as I hate to admit it, she knows what’s best for you in regards to your emotions and how you handle them. It’s why I asked her to work with us.”

Kara let it go, recognizing Alex was right. Her older sister would not have asked Leslie to come if Alex didn’t believe she could help. Besides, she was fully powered, despite the red bracelet on her wrist, so she shouldn’t be afraid of Leslie. But something about the good doctor put her on edge and admittedly frightened her a bit. Kara could not help but wonder what secrets she had told this woman. Had she told all her secrets? Perhaps things even Alex didn’t know?

“Whatever you say, sister. I’m going to watch the news, catch up on what has happened since I went sunbathing.” Kara took the remote from the middle console before Alex could blink and turned on the large screen to her right, one Kara remembered Bruce used to monitor Brother Eye remotely.

As usual, when not tuned in to Brother Eye, a 24 hour News Channel was on. The main story was a fierce battle in Chicago happening live.

“What the hell is going on?” Kara asked quietly. News choppers were hovering high above the ground, watching what looked like a firefight involving possible alien weapons on the ground.

Kara recognized the species though she had never seen them on Earth. They were the H’San Natall. “Alex, if they are on Earth…”

“The Titans are handling it.” Alex cut her off. “Don’t go there. They are only here now because… umm, they think you are dead.”

Kara looked into the massive firefight going on trying to remember who or what the Titans were. She saw an orange skinned woman with flowing red hair flying, firing powerful bolts from her hands.

She also saw Dick Grayson on the street fighting a hoard of the aliens along with a yellow blur racing around him and a dark haired girl dressed in blue jeans and a black hoodie that covered her face.

“Is that Dick?” Kara asked, before pausing slightly and turning to Alex with a grin. “He still wears the suit I made him! That’s so cool. Did I upgrade it at all?”

Alex nodded stiffly and cut the TV off.

“So… you remember Dick Grayson, huh?” the older sister asked carefully.

Kara rolled her eyes. “I’ve had sex once in my life, Alex. I doubt I would forget the man…”

Kara’s response was cut off by a sharp laugh from Dr. Thompkins. The blonde glared at her and Leslie at least looked apologetic. “Sorry, but that was funny. You think you only had sex once?”

“Yeah… why?” Kara asked carefully.

Leslie shook her head. “You treated that boy like a chew toy. You wanted to play, so you played then threw him back in the toy box when you were finished.”

“I think I would remember having sex again.” Kara argued. “I admit it hurt a bit, but it was a good night. Why would I have blocked out my other experiences?”

“Because it was a form of self harm. You hated the way you felt after you used him and that, in a way, was what drew you back to him over and over again. And he let you do it, despite knowing you were using him. I understand he is dating the flying orange girl now. You must have given him a serious alien fetish.” Leslie told her bluntly.

Kara glared at her with disbelief. Sex was special and she would have never dreamed of doing it if not for her worries about the approaching Myriad battle. Why would she use sex to hurt herself, or use another person for that matter? She couldn’t have been that cold, could she?

Glancing at Alex who was gazing out the window, it became clear to Kara. She had been that cold. She stiffened with the realization that maybe she didn’t want to know about her past with Dick Grayson.

Sensing her sister’s unease, Alex turned back towards Kara before glancing back to the doctor. “We won’t ask anymore questions about your past, Kara. Leslie will come up with a plan and if she doesn’t have one, I think I do… if Dr. Thompkins is amenable, that is.”

Leslie closed her eyes, feeling a bit of fear herself. She suspected she knew exactly what plan Alex was alluding to, had even considered the idea herself over the past year. She’d questioned if she should have followed through with the idea and even if she could have done it. Frankly, the thought scared the hell out of her.

The truth was this approach could be the only chance for Kara to bring back her memories in an orderly fashion, come to terms with her previous life and point out the catalysts and triggers, the good and the bad along with the reasons, decisions and events that led her to the Block and eventually, the Red Ring.

The approach could be the only way to help Kara see her life. It would enable her to step out of the present, observe and understand… but more importantly, it would allow her the perspective she needed to forgive herself and finally let go of the past.

Sighing, Leslie opened her eyes, conceding Alex’s point. “Alright. First let me find out if I’m crazy enough to go through your laser door. I’ll go to the Hanger and enter the Ice Castle. Then I will go to your parents and deal with things there before calling the two of you.”

Kara noticed Leslie shudder and the look of confidence on her face that seemed to be constantly present was gone.

“You’ve never been to the Fortress? How weird.” Kara told her. “I would’ve thought in our sessions we would go to the one piece of Krypton that remains. I never asked you to visit?”

Leslie looked a bit guilty.

“You did.” she answered quietly. “I just had no desire to beam myself there and a long flight followed by a hike over an icy wasteland held little appeal. I’m going to try though. Screw it, I’ve lived long enough so if my molecules get spread out… although I may need one of you to push me though.”

Kara grinned, hoping to put the woman at ease. “It doesn’t blast your molecules. It simply opens up a space time rip. It’s like taking a short cut through the space time continuum. I hope you knew me well enough to know I would never let my family be in danger. If I thought it was unsafe, I never would have let them use it. This isn’t Star Trek. Rann Transporters aren’t really even teleportation devices. They are devices that create doorways… basically extremely small and stable worm holes.”

Leslie shuddered once again. “I realize that. You have both explained it to me, Kara. You are afraid of snakes and I am afraid of alien tech. It’s called a phobia. Humans stepping through a door of light and exiting into a large Fortress on the bottom of the Earth is not natural, but I will do it. It needs to be done. Just… I’ll close my eyes and you can… or Alex can… I’m honestly not sure which of you would get more joy out of it. I’d like to spend the next hour not thinking about it, so I am going to relax and you two are going to stay quiet.”

A short time later they landed.

“Kara put on your sunglasses.” Alex ordered, taking the lenses from her bag.

Kara did as told. Listening to Alex was something she had become accustomed to long ago. She trusted Alex with her safety. If Alex told her to do something, there was a reason for it. Kara had always listened to Alex.

Right?

Of course considering what little she had already found out about her life, it was very obvious Kara had not listened to Alex or her parents about a lot of things.

A short drive later and the three women entered the Hangar once owned by their DEO friends and now the property of Bruce Wayne.

Kara flinched when she took in the large space. It was empty now… but she could not remember Alex or her ever being here.

Still she knew instinctively. This was the place they began turning themselves into weapons.

The blonde felt a sense of unease Alex must have noticed since her older sister grabbed her hand tightly.

“You are remembering something?” Alex asked carefully.

Kara shook her head. “No… I just don’t like this place.”

“Yeah…” Alex agreed, a sad tone in her voice. “We had good times here, but it was always clouded in this building. There was always the… it doesn’t matter. Let’s get to the Fortress. Promise me you will do what Leslie says. Please?”

Kara fought back her irritated feelings. “I think it’s dumb that I can see Bruce.”

“Promise me, please?” Alex asked again, her tone pleading but her eyes intent. Kara rolled her eyes, but agreed.

The three women moved to a door protected by a palm reader which opened immediately at Alex’s touch. Leslie followed Alex and Kara down a set of stairs into another room also protected by a palm reader which Alex activated. That door opened and Leslie found herself in a nondescript room with yet another palm reader plus a retinal scanner on a blank wall.

Alex walked towards it, touching the palm reader and holding still as a blue light scanned her eyes. The brunette then put her communication device in her ear.

“Kelex, Kara and I, along with Dr. Thompkins, are entering the Fortress. Make sure the defensive measures are down.”

“It is done.” the AI answered immediately.

“Defensive measures?” Leslie asked hesitantly.

“It’s the most secure base on the Earth and has more advanced tech than a lot of planets. It stands to reason it has defensive measures. Anyone in the Fortress without clearance would be dead in seconds.” Alex told her.

Where the wall had been, a bright light appeared in the perfect form of a door. Leslie stood in front of it shaking a bit.

“I’m a superhero’s therapist.” the woman whispered. “I got this. I got this. I got this. I…”

Her self-affirmation was cut off when she felt a hand on her back pushing her quickly through the bright light. The woman turned and saw Kara Danvers with a devious smile on her face.

“I had to encourage Mom the first time also. She got used to it quickly enough. I’m sure you will too. Have a look around.” Kara told her. “I promise nothing will happen to you. No alien ray guns will pop up and turn you to ash.”

Leslie urge to yell at the blonde was quickly overpowered by the sight around her.

The Fortress was beautiful. So beautiful, it took her breath away. The doctor had heard descriptions of the Fortress from both Alex and Kara, but she always pictured it in her mind as more of a military structure similar to the Batcave. But she was so wrong.

This place was a work of art. A giant crystal palace, light bouncing off the crystal walls and floor. In the middle was a two story tall cylindrical object at least twenty feet in diameter with rows of keyboards around it.

“Justin, I presume?” Leslie asked, referring to the Danvers’ supercomputer that was powerful enough to map the world using every single electronic device owned by men, and capable of shutting down or hacking every satellite around the planet. The thing even took control of the world’s nuclear capabilities during the invasion to prevent countries from attacking each other during the chaos.

The girls built this magnificent structure’s form and foundation their freshman year in college before unleashing Kelex to erect this incredible replica of Krypton inside its protective dome. It staggered her to think that at age 18, Kara Danvers, a traumatized, self-harming and possibly suicidal teenage girl had god-like control over Earth.

Leslie had always been impressed by Bruce’s technology, but it was easy to see where the ideas for his improvements came from and some of the tech. Yet, it still paled in comparison to what was revealed before her.

Alex pressed a key on Justin and the light took on a reddish tint. Alex was irradiating the building in red sunlight and yet it did nothing to diminish the beauty of the place. Silently, Leslie walked slowly around the Fortress, the temperature comfortable despite being in Antarctica.

The girls stood back quietly and let her take it in. Leslie never imagined how huge the place could be. She also knew there were several hidden panels that opened other rooms: bedrooms, bathrooms, even a kitchen which she had no doubt contained some sort of crystal appliances.

As she moved along, she saw Alex’s rebuilt jet, nearly identical to Bruce’s fighter. She saw workbenches with alien tech and monitors where the Danvers likely onducted research, designed weapons, and mastered alien technology.

Continuing her perusal, Leslie found the row she had always wondered about. The space could be considered an armory, because on the wall were mounted at least twenty weapons, all Alex’s no doubt. Some were alien in nature, but some were very human. Guns of all calibers, rifles, blades, even what she suspected were small bombs. The row of glass cases in front of the wall were what caught her eye though.

The costumes. The outfits a couple 18-year-old girls wore into battle for years.

The first case was empty, only an undressed mannequin on display.

“My main costume.” Kara told her quietly, coming up slowly behind her. “I guess it turned into whatever I wore with the ring. Considering I crashed back to Earth naked, I assume it didn’t survive the sun.”

Leslie nodded thoughtfully and continued walking to each, taking them in. Most of these costumes she, nor the world, had ever seen Kara wear. Thompkins was certain she would have remembered a flying blonde wearing a white tee and a denim miniskirt or Kara fighting villains in a one-piece bathing suit.

She stopped in front of the armor Kara wore when she fought Doomsday. Despite being Kryptonian material, the soft fabric pieces were torn, the armored symbol of the House of El in the middle was cracked in half and it was filthy, Kara’s dried blood or the blood of the Ysmault lake she emerged from still covered it.

“She wouldn’t throw it away.” Alex whispered. “She wanted to keep it that way.”

Leslie wasn’t surprised. It was in Kara’s nature to hang on to bad memories, something she hoped to change.

Interspersed with Kara’s garments were Alex’s. While Kara wore brighter colors to face the public, Alex held no need to be seen as a superhero and it was reflected in her dress. They were not similar at all, but Alex’s suits reminded Leslie of Bruce’s. They were armor, weapons to be used in war. The first outfit, the copper and silver armor Alex mainly wore, was next to the glass case that had held Kara’s original suit. The others, the black armor, the one that seemed to glitter and rendered her nearly invisible when she wished, the advanced tactical gear only Connolly’s team wore when Alex was in the DEO… all were present.

Leslie then reached the end and found a suit that neither girl had worn… a suit built for someone much larger than Kara.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Kara whispered. “We came with two blankets. That is one of them, the only one left now, I suppose. That suit belongs to Superman. Clark will be the greatest hero who ever lived. People will look to him for the best… for hope. Some will fear him, but the majority will love him, be inspired by him. His heart is so much stronger than mine.”

Leslie shook her head slightly. “You have a pretty good heart yourself, kid. Don’t knock it.”

Thompkins stepped back and let out a breath, taking it all in. She should have been here sooner.

The Fortress was a perfect reflection of Alex and Kara Danvers. Cold… but warm. Beautiful… but deadly. Comforting… but intimidating.

Looking back at the girls so they couldn’t mistake her next instructions, she said, “Get rid of your suits. All of them… except for Clark’s. If you want souvenirs, look at vacation photos. This life, it’s over for both of you. Destroy them as soon as you show me the way out.”

Kara giggled, then disappeared in a blur. Leslie did not see or feel much, just the wind, a bright light and her feet on a concrete floor, one she suspected belonged to the Danvers’ basement. As she climbed the stairs, her suspicions were confirmed when she reached the top and heard the voices of Bruce Wayne and Jeremiah Danvers on the other side of the closed door.

Back in the Fortress, Alex actually laughed when Kara zipped back over to her without Leslie.

“She is going to get sick of that fast.” the older sister pointed out.

Kara simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “She was nervous, so I helped her out. I’m glad she is gone. I wanted to spend some alone time with you.”

Alex raised an eyebrow, curious and slightly concerned as to what Kara’s worry could be. “I haven’t left your side since you returned. Is something wrong? Are you powers finally dimming? Are you hurting?”

Kara beckoned Alex to follow, leading her to the lounge area where they sat close together.

“Since I crashed and you found me, I’ve been eating or sleeping, or talking with Clark or Mom and Dad. I also read about my past, at least some of it, we talked about it, flew to Leslie, and… it’s just everything has kind of run together. I wanted us to have some alone time. Just me and you.”

Alex let out a breath, relaxing a bit. Kara did have a good point. They needed time to decompress, even if it was a short while. She smiled warmly at Kara. “That would be great. Seriously how are you feeling?”

“How are you?” Kara countered, surprising Alex.

The older sister froze, not sure what to say. How was she? Ecstatic, relieved, joyful and… afraid. Very much afraid. Afraid that this was a dream that she could wake up from, find it wasn’t real. When the Black Mercy attached itself to Kara, she had lived a perfect dream life and then woke up to find it was gone. Was it Alex’s turn?

“I’m sorry I left you.” Kara told her softly, taking her sister’s hand.

“You didn’t leave me. I mean, you didn’t want to. That wasn’t your fault.” Alex insisted, trying to alleviate Kara’s sorrow.

“Yes, it was. I may not remember, but from what you have told me, a lot of things were my fault. I shouldn’t have gone along with a plan that could and nearly did get you killed. I shouldn’t have fought Reign without a better plan. I should have been smarter, seen the real reason for the invasion.” Kara’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears as she tried to reason with her sister.

Alex shook her head. She wasn’t going to let Kara blame herself any longer. “Don’t. It wasn’t on you. We both went along with it, we both knew the risks. We couldn’t have known…”

Alex raised her free hand to gently wipe the tears that had begun to slide down Kara’s face. “Sweetie… you couldn’t have known. Our mistake was in splitting up. Nothing good ever comes from us splitting up. We should have stayed near each other.”

Gazing deep into Kara’s eyes, so there was no possibility of a misunderstanding, Alex affirmed her belief in their connection, “Without exception… we have been and always will be… stronger together .”

Kara moved closer to Alex and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in closer so Alex could lay her head on her little sister’s shoulder. “Okay. I’ll concede that it wasn’t our fault. I’m back now. I want my memories back, but I also want my family back. Is that possible?”

Alex looked up at her, not sure quite what her sister meant by that question. “You will never be without your family. Never again.” she assured Kara.

Kara sighed. “It doesn’t feel that way. I feel like I have you all back individually, but not my family. I know me being dead…”

“You were not dead!” Alex exclaimed.

Kara cleared her throat and forced a smile on her face. “Sorry. I know me being gone changed things. I know things are tense between you and our parents. I see disturbing changes in Clark.”

Pausing a moment to make sure she had Alex’s full attention, she continued carefully. “I know if I was traumatized by the things I did as Supergirl, the things I saw, the things I did, so were you. You were always with me, not just the good times I remember. Your hands haven’t stopped trembling since I woke up. You were taking meds too, weren’t you? Going to therapy? Yet you stopped after I… umm, did what I did.”

“I had to stay sharp.” Alex told her. “Lillian Luthor and General Lane were still out there. There were still Cadmus cells, still threats to Clark. I had to take care of them, keep him safe while you were away. I couldn’t afford to take medication and had no time for therapy. All anyone told me was that you were dead, and I needed to accept it and move on. Even Mom and Dad told me to move on. They should have been helping me, watching the sun, figuring out a way to get you back sooner, or at least known you were alive. Instead, they abandoned me.”

Alex’s tone was getting increasingly bitter as she talked. “So, yeah, I quit going to therapy. I never abandoned Clark though. I never will, just like I will never abandon you.”

Kara had already guessed what Alex confirmed. There was a big divide between her parents and sister. “I’m going to do everything I can to get my memories back and not be who I used to be. To do that, I need my family. I need the family that loved each other, that kept each other safe, the family with the unbreakable bond. To do that, you are going to have to forgive them. I think you know deep down that they did what they did because Clark needed to move on. No one but you would have really expected me to come back. I still don’t know how I did it.”

Alex smiled, but her eyes betrayed her confusion. Her voice heavy with emotion, she replied, “You came back because I needed you. You always come when I need you. Even when you were at your lowest, your darkest, when I needed you, you were there… and I needed you, Kara. I needed you so much that as soon as you were able, you came back to me. That is an unbreakable bond. Mom and Dad should have felt it as well.”

Kara squeezed Alex a bit tighter, wishing she didn’t have her powers so she could hold her as tightly as possible. “Maybe they did. It doesn’t matter right now. We need to heal Alex. I don’t like seeing you like this. You are scared and angry and I realize that is probably ironic coming from me, but you need to heal so we all can. I want my family back and you have always been the glue that held us together. You have to do that again.”

Alex could see Kara’s point. In her head she could agree with it.

But how to get past the anger? Kara had dealt with anger poorly her whole life. Alex was always the one who brought her back from the brink, who kept her from losing herself and unleashing her anger on the world around her. Alex was always her anchor.

How could she take on that role in her family again if she let her own anger eat away at her? How could she make peace with her parents and forgive them when they didn’t think they’d done anything wrong?

“I get what you are saying Kara.” Alex told her.

Kara waited for a few moments. “But?” she finally asked.

Alex grinned, wanting to drop the subject, but reassure Kara at the same time. “No buts this time. I will work on it. We will work on it. All of us, I promise. For right now though, let’s get you…”

“Alex, I need you.” Kara interrupted her. “If you aren’t strong, I’m not. I have a feeling I am going to need to be strong. I get that things won’t be okay in a day, but we need to start working towards it now, right? All of us?”

Alex shut her eyes tightly. “So you are saying no disintegrating Mom every time she butts in where her opinion isn’t needed or wanted? No hitting Dad when he tries to tell me it will be okay and things will get better?”

Kara nodded her head. “That would probably be a good place to start. This is going to be hard, not just for me. It’s going to be hard on all of us, I understand that. You have all lived through it once. Lived through seeing me… self-destruct. I know you are afraid of it happening again. I’m afraid too, Alex… and when I’m afraid, I look to you. I need you to hold us together. Please, Alex.”

The older sister kissed Kara on the cheek. “If things get to bad, we go to the Block, promise? No matter how long it takes?”

“I swear to you. I’ll never break a promise to you again. If you say go, we go back to my personal mental ward.” Kara assured her.

“Okay then.” Alex agreed, before shifting topics. “I wonder how long Leslie is going to take? I know you have to be hungry. Clark is going to want to see you. They all will. Then we get started.”

“You have a plan.” Kara told her, not asking. “What is it?”

Alex patted her on the leg. “I will explain it all once we can sit down with Leslie, but not now. I think the two of us have something we need to do while you still have your powers.”

Twenty minutes later, the two stood under the black Antarctic night in front of a pile of costumes. Every costume the two had worn in battle that remained was on the ground.

“It’s over.” Alex told her. “You have more than enough power for this. Light them up.”

Kara and Alex backed away, Alex staying behind Kara when she focused her intense heat vision on the pile of costumes and watched as the normally indestructible Kryptonian fabrics burned to nothing.