Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Spy Games

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 18:

This was so damn boring.

“Hey Bells, could you toss me another slice?”

No problem, Jake. How the hell he could eat so much pizza, clogged with cheese and grease and only luke warm, amazed me. It was quite frankly disgusting. He never washed his hands either, which was also disgusting.

“Sure Jake, here ya go.”

He was kind of a sweet kid though. I wonder if this werewolf thing has hit him yet. I hope he can somehow avoid it. He just doesn’t seem to have the temperament for being a werewolf. Jack has a theory that the wolves are changed because of the presence of vampires and this is why there haven’t been any sightings in the past. He is basing these off legends that Dante has learned that the tribe is quite tight lipped about. Except for the guy who wrote that book I bought in Port Angeles. Apparently that guy had no problem spilling secrets.

The idea of Jacob killing vampires is as ridiculous to me as the idea of Edward being a vampire.

My phone buzzed. There is my evil blonde twin.

/Done with puppy yet? I’m BORED/

/Another 30. I want to make sure he gets the engine mounted on the Honda/

/U know he is fucking around to keep you coming over right?/

/Yep. I’m giving him another 2 weeks and I’m pulling the plug on this project if he can’t finish at least one bike/

/Seen LaHote?/

Oh good Lord. Arial was scared to death of running into that asshole. Not because she was afraid of him but because she thought he seemed the type to cause a scene. He has grown since she fucked him making us think he wasn’t a werewolf then. If he causes a scene and her Dad is there, Jack will figure out what happened. Considering the tests he put her through when he found out she fucked Tristan, Arial is concerned he may take her to see a vet this time. I admit her reasoning was sound.

/Yesterday. he and the other 2 come by once a day and watch Jake. It’s weird./

/he’s a fucking dog. duh./

/good point./

/my hot tub or yours? Don’t give me any Angela needs help with homework shit either/

Yeah, that relationship hasn’t gotten any better. I could see the problems on the surface. Angela is taking a big chance being with me but knows instinctively that even though I love her, if it came down to a choice between her and Arial, I would choose Arial. Angela is a high school girlfriend and Arial is my family. Arial will always be there and Angela probably won’t be. It’s just the way of the world.

Arial isn’t used to me being close to anyone but her. I suppose there was bound to be a bit of tension between the two but it is more than I was even aware of.

/my hot tub. Dad is trying some new stew recipe. Might turn out okay./

Charlie and I had been working together, learning to cook. Arial still saved us most nights and we did nearly catch the kitchen on fire once but we were getting better. I still didn’t handle raw meat because it was gross but he didn’t seem to mind.

/See u in one hour/

“Jake! Who do we have here?”

I turned and saw two very dorky looking guys walk in. One looked almost as strong as Jake. The other… didn’t.

“Hey guys. Bella these two are my friends Quil and Embry. Guys meet Bella.”

“So Jake says you are his girlfriend?” The Quil idiot asked.

He did?

“I said she was a girl and my friend.” Jake said quickly, saving his balls from being twisted off.

“I don’t remember hearing that distinction, do you Embry?”

What a bunch of losers. They came here to pick no their friend or show off? And this is what they come up with? They would never make good spies.

“So you guys have girlfriends?” No way, right? Even the kind of larger one was a total loser even by Arial’s low hetero standards. Girls around here may have lower standards though. A reservation this small I would guess you have to take what you can get.

“Yeah right. Quil had to take his cousin to the winter formal.” Jake said with way too much humor making me wonder who or if he took someone but at least he was standing up for himself against the geek. He needed some confidence so he could finish this damn bike.

Quil of didn’t find this funny and attempted some sort of grappling move on Jake who returned the favor.

They were then rolling around on the ground, wrapped up in each other and laughing while I think, trying to fight. This was the pathetic. I wanted to scream at them to stop because this was an affront to true fighting. I’ve seen two year olds having tantrums with better technique than this.

“Don’t mind them. They are always goofing around.” Embry told me.

“Do they ever do it in a puddle of mud? If they do, I would stop hanging out with them. Unless you are into that sort of thing. I’m not one to judge, done a little naked grappling myself, but I prefer baby oil. Much cleaner than mud and better for the skin.”

Who was I to judge though? Different cultures and all that. If some type of pathetic mud wrestling was a thing here more power to them.

“So I like your… shirt.” Embry told me. I checked his cheeks and saw he was blushing a bit even over that bronze skin. I admit my top was a bit form fitting.

“Thanks. I can actually pull the shoulders down a bit and it really accentuates my cleavage. Makes my tits just pop, you know. Still I thought I would play it casual and keep the straps up. Between these low cut skinny jeans painted on my body and the constant drizzle and chill always making my nipples rock hard, I didn’t want to distract Jake from his job any more than necessary.”

“Uh…”

Poor kid. Should probably put him out of his misery so he can get involved in the mud wrestling as well.

“Try not to drool when you are staring at my ass as I walk away. You seem like a sweet kid so enjoy the view, my treat.”

I reached up under his chin and gently closed Embry’s jaw, then left the workshop. Jake stopped playing naked twister with his boyfriend long enough to notice I was leaving.

“Bella, where are you going?”

“Home. My cousin needs help with homework. You keep working. I can’t wait to see the progress you have made by tomorrow. I mean it Jake; I get excited every time I come out here to see what magic you have done this time.” I gave him a little wink and fired up the car bomb.

An hour later Arial and I were relaxing in the hot tub. I had my phone off and didn’t have a worry in the world as the two of us chilled in silence, eyes closed, in a perfect state of bliss.

Until Charlie plopped into the tub.

“Uh Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m in the hot tub. This thing can hold eight people. You two don’t mind sharing right?”

“Of course not, Charlie.” Arial told him. Fuck it, I supposed I did technically buy it for him.

“Fine, but this is our relaxation time. You must be silent and relax.”

“I can do that.”

Okay. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, trying to reach my perfect Zen state…

“Hey Bells?”

Fuck.

“Yeah Dad?’

“Why have you been spending so much time in La Push? I thought Jack said you weren’t going to be involved with all that… stuff.”

“I’m not there because of the dog problem. I’m there because I found two piece of shit motorcycles and Jake is fixing them for free.”

“Why is he doing that?”

“Because I have tits, Dad.”

“Oh… that makes sense, I guess. Why do you want two piece of shit motorcycles?”

“One is for him if he can fix both and the other is for my girlfriend.”

“Oh… I guess that makes… wait, you have a girlfriend?”

“Yep.” Arial was already giggling. Bitch. Because of my attempts to keep Ang on the downlow I had never introduced her to Charlie as a girlfriend because it would freak her out.

“In Forks?”

“It would be difficult if she lived anywhere else, Dad.”

“Who is… oh please no, Bella. Please don’t tell me it’s Angela.”

“It’s Angela Dad.” The man likes honesty so I deliver it brutally. Who else would it be? I will never know how he can be so incredibly observant at times and so clueless at others. Its a rare gift, not one that I wish to have but must watch for in any case. It could be genetic.

“Bella! Do you know what her father would do to her if he found out? Why don’t you just date the Pope’s daughter?!”

“The Pope doesn’t have a daughter. He can’t even get married. He’s Catholic.” I pointed out.

“The Pope can’t get married?”

“How the hell do you not know this, Dad? Everyone knows this.”

“I don’t pay attention much to religion. Are you sure?”

“She is right, Charlie. The Pope is defintely a Catholic and can’t get married, therefore he cannot have a daughter for your baby girl to corrupt.” Arial explained. “But if he could then she would probably be banging that girl too.”

Ouch Arial. I wouldn’t do the Pope’s daughter… unless she was like really, really hot.

“Okay, well… c’mon Bella. That guy is a fire and brimstone kind of man. If he finds out that you two are more than study partners… best case scenario he kicks her out of the house.”

“Worst case scenario is he hurts her and I put him through 40 days of torture on top of a mountain and then throw him off of it.” I told him. “Isn’t that what Jesus did to the devil in the Bible?”

“That is the kind of thing I can’t hear, Bella.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have diplomatic immunity.”

“No, you don’t!”

“I think if you look at the list of crimes I have gotten away with Dad, you would see you are wrong. Besides I didn’t turn her gay. I just happened to be the one to open her eyes to the fact that she is gay. Total accident.”

“Great. Just be careful with her okay?”

“I swear everybody acts like she is a fucking china doll. Angela won’t even give it up to Bella but she still has my girl wrapped around her pinky. Its all her fingers are doing and Bella treats her like the second coming. Scratch that. Its religious and I don’t think there has been a first…”

“Arial, I do not need to hear things like that! Please don’t talk about…”

“Sorry, Charlie. I’ve just never seen your daughter led by the nose like Angela does to her. It’s kind of sad, like those starved and mistreated puppies in the SPCA commercials are always running asking for money? I apologize though. I should bring up your daughter getting led along by a nerd she isn’t even banging.”

Arial didn’t look sorry. I was about to yell at her for calling Angela a nerd until the splash caught my attention.

I glanced over at Dad and saw he had sat up in the hot tub. Oh fuck no…

“Damn Dad, what the hell?”

“What?”

“Ever thought about shaving your chest? The mustache is bad enough but you have a real Chuck Norris in the 70s vibe going on.” I loved Enter the Dragon but Chuck Norris was a step above a primate in that movie.

“I am a man. I do not shave my chest.”

“You are a single man and if you hope to change that you had better start considering it. The 1970s aren’t walking back in to save you.”

“Oh my God, I can totally wax your chest Charlie!” Arial told him, practically hopping out of the tub.

“No!” Charlie shouted.

“Yes! But first I need my relaxation time. Soak those hairs Charlie because they are about to die.” Arial told him in that determined voice that means it is going to happen one way or another.

“The hell they are. We need to talk about you a little bit, Bella.”

“What about me?”

“Apparently you have Jake doing your bidding because he likes your… yeah…”

“and my ass.” I added,

“and you are… I don’t even want to know how far it has gotten with the reverend’s daughter.”

“This isn’t talking Dad; this is you telling me things I already know.”

“When are you going to let people know you are gay?”

Arial slid back into the tub and met my shocked eyes.

“Uh… well Dad, I wasn’t planning on it. It would bring up too many questions about Edward and why I was with him.”

“To hell with that bastard. He’s gone. Mission over. You didn’t hide who you were in Phoenix, you shouldn’t here either. Jake is probably head over heels for you and I’m sure you have guys bugging you all the time. If you came out then you wouldn’t have to deal with the headaches.”

Wow.

“It wouldn’t bother you… being police chief and everything…”

“Don’t even go there, Bella. I hope you know me better than that.”

I did. I knew he wouldn’t care, but there was only one real reason that mattered.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Arial asked despite knowing. I saw the glee on her cute little face.

“Because if I did it would be all over town in ten seconds and Weber would never let Angela around me. It’s hard enough finding time with her now.”

Charlie just nodded. I suppose this occurred to him as well.

“Okay, Bella. Your secrets are always safe with me. I’m glad you got somebody and it sounds like you really like her. I just hate that you have to hide in shadows. Someone like you should never be in shadows and you have so many secrets you have to live with already. I just want you happy and I guess free to be you.”

“Thank you, Dad.” I was glad for the steam because my eyes were watering a bit. He could be so damn sweet.

That’s why I had to hurt him for his own good.

“Okay, relaxation time over. Let’s go Dad.”

“Go?”

“Yeah, Arial get the wax heating. Dad we are going to drag you into the modern age, one stripped hair at a time.”

“You two are not touching me with any wax.”

“Better get an electric razor for that mustache.” I told Arial. “If he fights, he could hurt himself if we use a real razor.”

“You are not touching my facial hair.” Dad said, doubt creeping in as Arial and I both got out of the tub and stood over him.

“Bella?”

“Dad.”

“Please?”

“Charlie, would you rather Bella and I do this now with your consent or would you prefer to wake up duct taped to your bed and gagged while we do this the hard way?”

Arial has a gift for explaining options. It’s how she trained Dan.

“Why?”

“Because you haven’t had so much as one girlfriend since Mom moved out and it’s ridiculous. If it wasn’t for your extensive collection of Playboys, I would think you were gay and in the closet. You’re in decent shape for a guy your age, you carry a gun and wear a badge and you have a good job. In this area those traits alone should make you as attractive as Brad Pitt to any woman. You need to get a girlfriend. Someone who could maybe cook for both of us. Oh, if she can do windows that would be awesome too!”

“You really think the mustache…”

“Should have been shaved off twenty years ago? Yes.”

“Bella and I are going to dry off and get everything ready.” Arial told him. “Take ten minutes to say goodbye to the chest and facial hair, go take a shower, just to rinse the chlorine off, dry off, throw some comfortable pants on that you won’t mind replacing if the pain is too bad and lay back in the recliner.”

“Bella are you really going to let her do this?”

Oh Daddy.

“Dad, it’s for your own good.”

“I love my mustache, Bella.”

“I know Dad, but sometimes you have to learn to love the things that are good for you.”

Like getting laid every now and then.

Friday night. The night I had been waiting for. Uncle Jack did me a solid by taking Charlie on a camping, hunting, male bonding trip to celebrate Charlie’s transformation into something the female species may take an interest in. Angela had told her Dad she was spending the night with Arial and I at my house and Arial was safely tucked away at her house while Hawk sang her a lullaby or whatever other tricks, she had taught him.

Angela was quiet today at school, barely looking at me. I knew she would be nervous but it would be fine. She had told me she was ready. For the first time in my life I planned to make love to a woman. I had sex many times. Many, many times, but never with anyone I truly loved.

The knock on the door was timid so I knew it was her. I was so damn excited I would be ruining this new thong before I ever got her upstairs.

I opened the door and stepped back letting her take in my little black dress. She took a couple looks up and down the street, avoiding the sight of my amazing figure and walked slowly in, closing the door behind her. She hadn’t exactly dressed up for the occasion but that was okay. I was more interested in getting her out of her clothes than anything else.

“Hey baby.”

I stepped closer to kiss her only to find her hand on my chest. Not in a I want to feel your tits manner either.

“We need to talk.”

Fuck. That usually means I did something bad. I hadn’t beaten anyone this past week, yelled at anyone, threatened anyone. What the hell did I do this time?

“Let me guess, need more time?”

I don’t think I have pressured her. If anything we have moved our physical relationship at a snail’s pace.

I suppose if she needed more time though I still had my battery powered friends upstairs. They never needed time, just fresh Duracell.

“No, that’s not what we need to talk about.”

She wouldn’t look me in the eye. Angela had always been shy but never alone with me.

“Why don’t we go upstairs and make ourselves comfortable and you can tell me all about it.” I offered.

“No., I think… I think it would be best if we talked in the living room.”

Okay. I stepped aside and motioned that she should lead and I would follow. I expected her to go to the couch but instead she sat in the single chair next to the sofa. I took Charlie’s recliner and sat back waiting for her to begin. I was getting a bit nervous here.

“Bella, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Ang, we haven’t done anything yet.” What the fuck was this?

“I’m not talking about sex, Bella. I’m talking about us. I can’t keep living this secret life.”

“You’re gay and you don’t want your father to know. You are going to be living a secret life.”

“I think I would just rather be alone. I love you… you can live with secrets. I get that, you certainly keep enough from me, but it is killing me. I am constantly worried about my family finding out, about what they would say or do…”

“So what? You are going to fuck some guy because your daddy wants you too?”

I was getting a little worked up here. Where the hell was she going with this? If she just needed more time all she had to do was tell me, not bring up excuses.

“No! I know I’m gay. You have made me come to terms with that, believe me.”

“You’re fucking welcome!”

“I’m not saying I will never tell him. Just not now, I can’t right now.” she told me. Damn it, now she was crying. What did I do to make her cry?

“What is the problem? He doesn’t know about us. Did someone say something?”

“No, he just, he mentioned that I spend a lot of time with you and of course things are said in town about you and Arial and…”

Whoa.

“What things and who are the fuckers saying them?”

“It’s just kind of known that you two are the queens of the school and the others kind of follow your lead, and he has heard rumors of drinking and parties and…”

“Being teenagers? Because that is what we are. Besides we don’t drink often. We have never thrown a huge party, not like the ones we had in Phoenix.”

“What about the time you spend in La Push? There are rumors you are having sex with a Quileute guy.”

“You know that is bullshit.” As if. Of all the people I would expect to know me better, she was one of them I thought would never doubt my commitment and my sexual preferences.

“I know, but you have been spending a lot of time there and you won’t tell me why.”

“It’s because it is a surprise! I’m having a motorcycle built for you by Jacob Black. It’s not new but I plan to make sure it’s safe then I thought I could show you the basics, have a little fun.”

“Like the fun you had in Port Angeles with Jessica wrapped around you?” she asked quickly. I had no idea she was that pissed off about it. Its not like I banged her on a Harley.

“Jess needed to loosen up so I took her for a ride on a bike. I was thinking you could use a little more fun outside my bedroom, so I found a couple old bikes and Jake knew how to…”

“I don’t ride motorcycles! Has it ever occurred to you that I am not like you?”

“Every fucking time you act like this! Has it ever occurred to you that I’m not like you, but I’m doing my best to be what you want? I fucking love you, what else do you need from me? I’m I still not nice enough to others for your taste? Do you want me to go back to dressing like a homeless person? Tell me what you want because I am trying here.”

“I don’t… Bella I just can’t do this. My Dad is concerned about my friendship with you. If he would ever suspect or if you were to come out then… Bella I can’t.”

What the fuck is going on here? Is she saying what I think she is saying?

“So you are dumping me?”

“I love you Bella. I just can’t be with you. I’m so sorry.”

“You are dumping me?”

“It’s not that I’m dumping you…”

“We are in a romantic relationship. I love you, you love me, we do things with each other, intimate things, and now you want to stop because you are afraid of being found out and your daddy doesn’t even want us to be friends. Instead of standing up for me at least as a friend you are just quitting because you are scared. That’s called dumping someone, Angela.”

“Bella please understand. I don’t want to hurt you. Just please try to understand.”

Hurt?

She can’t hurt me. She has no idea what I have survived. She doesn’t even know the meaning of pain. Having your leg snapped in two, followed up by vampire venom burning in your veins? That’s hurt.

She can’t hurt me. No one can.

She was really dumping me.

“Get the fuck out.” I whispered.

“Please don’t be upset…”

“Get the fuck out of my house now!” I told her louder this time and stood up. Unlike her, I wasn’t afraid to look her in the eyes when I said it.

“You will never understand, will you?” she was asked. Understand? She dumped me and she is the one who is crying. I understand.

“No, I think for the first time, I understand you perfectly. You’re a damn coward and always will be. That’s what you will be for the rest of your miserable life. For the last time, get the fuck out of my house, close the door behind you and don’t ever come near me again.”

I watched her practically run out of the house, not even looking back.

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I did everything she asked, tried to be who she wanted me to be. I loved her.

I don’t know if I have ever hated anyone so much in my life as I hated Angela at this moment. At least James just fucked up my body. She… no, she couldn’t hurt me. Not me.

I walked to the couch, sat down and didn’t move. Not because I was hurt. I just didn’t feel like moving anymore. I would move later. Seeing as how my night was ruined, I had nothing to do anyway.

Then a knock on the door.

Sliding the silenced 9 mm out from under the middle cushion.

“Doors open.”

My voice sounded strange. A bit hoarse. I would probably get a cold to top off the night.

“Don’t shoot. I come in peace.”

I slid my gun back under the cushion.

“What do you want, Hawk? Shouldn’t you be with Arial?”

“Sasha is with Arial. Jack wasn’t lying you know. Someone has always been watching your back, Bella. A lot of the time it was me, when Jack or Sasha was with Arial.”

“I never saw you.”

“I’m not as dumb as you think I am. I was a Seal.”

“I don’t think your dumb, Hawk. I just don’t need anyone watching my back.”

“Everybody needs somebody watching their back. We’re family. That’s what family does.”

He walked over and sat next to me.

“I was under the impression that you and your girl were staying in tonight. Seein as how she ran out of here crying, things didn’t go as planned?”

“No big deal, I’ve been dumped before.” I told lied. I never had anyone to dump me.

“Why are you crying then?”

Since I didn’t realize I was crying, I just shrugged my shoulders.

I didn’t even object when he picked me up and I curled into his lap, placing my head on his chest. I don’t know why but being held made me cry harder and at some point, I fell asleep. I remember Hawk pulling the blanket around me and rubbing my hair. I guess he stayed downstairs because breakfast was ready when I walked into the kitchen, still in my little black dress and I was faced with Arial.

A pissed off Arial.

“That fucking bitch dumped you!?”

“Don’t Arial. Just leave it alone.”

“Your eyes are red. You have been crying!”

“No, I haven’t. I don’t cry.”

“That geek is fucking dead. I’m going to…”

“Not do a goddamn thing! Leave her alone, Arial, I mean it. It’s over and I just want to forget it. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. No more emotional attachments. Meaningless sex from this point on. Besides this is all your fault.”

“How is it my fault?”

“You were the one who said I should try to have a relationship! Great advice, sister.”

“My opinion quickly changed and I told you to stay away from her. I offered to take you clubbing in Seattle. If you had listened to me… look this isn’t either of our faults. It’s her fucking fault. What was her reasoning for breaking up with you?”

“You don’t know?”

“Dan just called me this morning and told me she broke up with you and I should be here when you wake. He didn’t know details.”

“She said her father was concerned about our friendship because apparently you and I are the popular party girls of Forks High.”

“That’s true but so what?”

“She was afraid if I came out or if he heard more rumors about me, he wouldn’t want her associating with me or if it was discovered I was gay… I don’t know.” I admitted. There were a lot of reasons that were lost in the haze of me being dumped.

“What did you say?”

“I called her a fucking coward and told her to get the fuck out of my house.” I can’t believe I called her that. She didn’t deserve it.

“She fucking deserved it.” Arial said, disagreeing with my unspoken thoughts. “The bitch wasn’t good enough for you. She was weak Bella. She would only bring you down. Your Dad is right, why the hell should you have to hide? I know you did it because you didn’t want anyone to ask questions about Edward but he has been gone for a while. You can always say he turned you gay. Or you figured you would slowly try to work into guys and he was the most feminine male you could find and the experiment was a bust. There isn’t a need to hide anymore. I know! We can have a big ass coming out party! Dad wouldn’t care if we had it at our house. It will be a blast.”

“I can’t.”

I really couldn’t now.

“Why not?”

“Because if I do then Angela will… it would be bad for her.”

“You owe her nothing.”

“Maybe, maybe not. But just because she dropped me like garbage doesn’t mean I can just stop loving her. I barged my way into her life, I shouldn’t ruin it more. Another few months and we are gone. What difference does a few months make? We just need to get this year over with and leave. Go somewhere fun, start fresh, party, lay out in the sun, commit a few felonies. You know, relax.”

“That’s what the hell I’m talking about. Get your shorts on, we need to run.”

The next day I found myself back in La Push. I didn’t need the bikes now but for some reason I wanted to see them finished. They were scrap metal and would go nicely with my scrap metal truck. Maybe this could be the start of a scrap metal collection for me. Maybe I could find a scrap metal car next.

“You know, it just pisses me off, Jake.”

“What’s that Bella?”

“You have this perfect person in mind. This image of the one who completes you, you meet them and think this is great, how did I ever live without this person, you know what I’m talking about?”

“Uh, yeah actually.”

“You see this person all the time and being together is as easy as breathing. It’s like you are perfect compliments to each other. Have you ever had anyone like that Jake?”

“Yeah Bella I do. As a matter of fact I was wanting to talk to you…”

“Venting Jake, could you chill the fuck out? We will get to your problems in a second. Anyway, so this person you think is so perfect for you decides you aren’t worth it. A little trouble comes their way and they bail. Not even trouble. They are scared there might be trouble in the future and they just leave without a hint or a warning. Bullshit isn’t it?”

“I guess?”

“You are fucking right, its bullshit. I knew you would understand, Jake. You seem like a smart kid.”

“I’m not much younger than you Bella. As a matter of fact your lack of know-how and general pale faceness make me older than you…”

“Jake?”

“Yes?”

“Shut the fuck up.” I told him slowly. “Again, we are talking about my problems.” I hate being interrupted by the ramblings of a kid when I am trying to vocalize my anger.

“Sorry.”

“No problem, I’m just being a bitch today.”

“He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

What?

“Who?”

“That Edward Cullen guy.”

Oh God, I was having a few horrible days and he brings that name up. I nearly vomited up that half a slice of pizza he insisted I eat. I suppose he saw my face and felt bad because that stabbing pain in my chest was hard to ignore. Cut me with paper and drip a little lemon juice on it Jake.

“Sorry. I know you don’t like to hear that name. I guess I didn’t realize how badly he hurt you.”

“Hurt me? Jake, I’m going to get a permanent ulcer if you spring him on me again. Just please don’t say that name.”

I wish it was technologically possible to have certain memories removed from your brain. It seemed no matter how long he had been gone I still felt immediate revulsion at the mention of his name. This was his fault. If he had just died when he was human like he was supposed to I would have never had to come here and would be fucking Candy on a Florida beach instead of having my heart broken by a closeted nerd in the wettest, in the most non sexual connotation, place on earth.

“I think the bikes are ready for a test drive. I know the perfect place. How about we load them up and drive them to the road I have in mind. Then I could give you your first riding lesson.”

Yeah, right.

“Sounds good. I’m a fast learner so I probably won’t need many lessons.”

None actually.

On the drive out I saw four idiots on a cliff in the distance. Two of them jumped.

“Wow, I’m impressed.” I lied. I had known cliff diving as a thing here but this was amateur hour. Arial and I jumped at least twenty feet higher at Lake Havasu once. It was okay, but the novelty gets old quickly.

“Yeah, that’s Sam Uley and his gang.” Jake informed me, not sounding impressed.

“I thought he always had two guys with him. Where did the other come from?”

“You met him. That’s Embry.”

“Your friend Embry? Why is…” oh yeah. He was close to being as big as Jake. He must have gone doggy. I would let Jack know when I get back. What was Embry’s last name? Atari? No, Cameron, pretty sure it was Cameron.

“Yeah, Embry stays home from school for a few days and then becomes one of Sam’s devoted followers.”

“Sam really freaks you out doesn’t he?”

“I guess. Dad goes on and on about what a great guy he is and how much he does for the reservation but…”

“But what?”

“You’ve seen the way Sam watches me, Bella. Like he is waiting for something to happen. I’m not joining his gang. I just want him to leave me alone. Plus, now that Embry is around him, he won’t even speak to me or Quil any longer.”

Damn, Jake seemed kind of frightened. I felt bad for him, having a pretty good idea what was going on and knowing if it happened to Embry he wouldn’t be too far behind.

“Maybe you should take off for a while Jake. Get away, take a road trip or something.” I suggested.

“You wouldn’t mind me staying with you and Charlie, Bella?”

Wait.

That’s not what I said.

“That’s not what I said. Are you out of your mind? Road trip, you, alone. How the hell do you get from that to living with me? How stupid are you?”

“Hey, we are here.”

I am fairly certain he just blocked out the last think I said. Staying with me and Dad? Is he out of his mind? Our house is crowded already with the two of us and one bathroom. What if he turned into a wolf inside my house and fucked up the furniture or worse the television? I meant he should go on a road trip. Away. Far away from my house.

After listening to Jake stumble through directions on how to operate what amounted to a modified dirt bike, he asked a tricky question.

“If you hadn’t needed me to build these bikes would you have still come over to see me?”

“I can’t believe you would ask me that Jake.” Of course I wouldn’t be here. When have I ever said Jake, lets just hang out and not work on a bike while I supervise you?

“You’re right. Of course you would. Sorry. I was just wondering if I should have taken more time to fix the bikes. I love spending time with you Bella.”

“I know.” who doesn’t beside Angela?

I should take a little pity on him. Maybe he needed to get laid. Jess needed to get laid. This could work out in both their favors.

“I have an idea Jake. You need to get a life out of La Push. The next little outing I plan I will let you know. You can come with us.”

Jessica might love him. He was young but he was muscular and dumb, unlike Newton who was just dumb.

“Like a date? That would be great, Bells!”

I didn’t say date, you fucking moron.

Ignoring him, I hopped onto the Honda and jumped on the kick start. The engine didn’t sound great but considering what I had found, the idea of it running was a miracle in itself. Jake had some serious mechanical skills even if he was clueless in every other part of his life.

“Bella, you need a helmet.”

I rolled my eyes and took off. There was a curve coming up quickly and I tried to downshift when the clutch stuck.

Damn it, this would hurt. Rather than going off the road into the large tree trunks beyond. I ditched, turning the bike on its side and guiding it away from me while I rolled as best I could to avoid major damage. I did well until my head came to a sudden stop on something hard.

I blacked out for a moment and when I came to, I saw the most beautiful dark hair looking down at me.

Angela.

“Bella?”

“You really are sort of beautiful.” I whispered to her.

“Bella, I think you hit your head a bit hard.”

What the fuck? My vision cleared and I saw it was Jake, not Angela.

“Oh God, I’m sorry Jake.” I called him beautiful. That must be the ultimate insult to a guy. Edward loved it so most guys must hate it right?

“You’re apologizing for bleeding Bella? It’s no big deal, just a little blood.” He had his shirt off and was wiping my head. I realized I was sitting against a rock and must have hit my forehead against it when I ditched. I needed to bitch Jake out about the clutch sticking but I couldn’t make myself right now. I just wanted to go home.

I have been dumped and concussed in the last few days and wanted to curl up naked in my hot tub and get myself off surrounded by hot bubbles.

“We should get you to the hospital.”

“No, I’m good. I just need to get home.”

“Can I at least drive you?”

I stood up and saw double. Whoa, head rush.

“Yeah, that would probably be a good idea. My cousin can drive you back.”

“Or I could just take you home and stay with you, until Charlie gets home. You probably shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’m never alone.” I told him, thinking about Hawk, Sasha, Jack, “Arial, will take you home.”

The next day I found myself being knocked to the ground after taking a shot to the jaw. I had a padded sparring helmet on but it still hurt like hell.

“Damn it Connolly! I just had a concussion yesterday! Would you chill out?”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to spar and can’t keep your guard up. Not my fault, so stop bitching and start fighting.”

I hated his grin. I hated his skill. I hated everything about him and still liked him. I wasn’t sure how that was possible but it was.

“Bella remember what we worked on last week?” Sasha asked, watching from the wall of the garage Jack had turned into a makeshift dojo.

“Yeah.”

Connolly stepped forward and his right palm lashed out. I side stepped and ducked the left. I knew what was coming and jumped back to gain space. I tilted on my plant foot and saw the grin on his face. He thought he had me off balance, and predictably sent a round house kick at my head. I dropped back on my left arm but instead of falling, used it to spring my entire body off the ground, landing both feet into his nuts as his leg swung through the spot I had been in a split second before. Before his kick finished, both hands were on his dick and he hit the ground hard.

Sasha was right. Men are stronger but women fight dirtier.

“I should have seen that coming. Sasha has done it to me twice. I didn’t think you had the upper body strength. Good move, Swan.” he gasped from the ground.

“Thanks. What are you doing back here anyway? I thought you and Owl were watching the pacifists?”

“They are boring. Besides Whitlock took his little wife and disappeared and Eddie is somewhere hiding in Rio last we checked. Ty has eyes on him. The rest are too fucking dull to watch. Plus there is the animal attack problem.”

“What animal attack problem?” More vampires? That would be an issue, especially since my bodily sacrifice in obtaining a vampire body part has not helped the science dorks get any closer to figuring out a way to kill these fuckers.

“Your Dad didn’t tell you?”

“No. More drained bodies?”

“No, just a lot of missing persons reports. Hikers mostly. Four in the last month. No bodies though. It’s either vampires, werewolves or a very active serial killer. Dante doesn’t think it would be the wolves but Jack and I aren’t sure.”

“Sasha, why don’t you get close to them and see if you can read their minds?”

“I want to but was outvoted by the team. Jack is of the mind that the less direct contact we have the better until Dante can try to get a better read on them. He verified what you said about Embry Call. Embry does appear to be part of Uley’s group now and hasn’t been seen outside of the three’s presence. The boys club thinks we should stay off the reservation until we know more.”

“But they will never know you are there.”

“My point exactly but the boys club feels like the wolves could sniff me out. I happen to agree with them though. If they can kill vampires which is probably why they are here in the first place then their senses are probably as evolved as a vampire. Besides a wolf would likely make a mess killing a person. A hiker disappearing without a trace sounds like the work of a vampire. This whole situation needs to be handled carefully and the less public we are, especially on the reservation, the better.”

“But I have an in.” I thought out loud.

“And you are not a part of this mission.” Sasha reminded me.

“Looks like I am since I’m the one who has been hanging out with the next possible wolf.”

Connolly finally crawled up from the ground and looked at Sasha who shrugged her shoulders.

“You need to keep your com in your ear at all times you are there. Either that or we have one planted back in your skull.”

“I’ll keep it on.” I told Connolly quickly. I didn’t want that damn thing back in my ear canal.

“Jack will be back later and we can have a team meeting tonight. We will figure it out. It may be time to establish a more direct contact than Dante can have with Uley.” Sasha admitted. “So how are you doing Bella?” she asked.

“Yeah, I head you got dumped by a dork. That must sting a bit.”

I punched Connolly in his mouth, cutting his lip. I should have kicked his nuts again.

“At least you aren’t sensitive about it.” he remarked with a big smile.

“I’m going home.”

Monday morning.

The day I dreaded for some reason. Not some reason, I knew the reason. She would be there.

Angela avoided looking at me all morning. I walked down the hall and she turned and walked the other direction. Arial bumped into her, hard, a few times, practically growling once like a damn vampire.

“Would you chill out?” I asked her on the way to the cafeteria.

“Not my fault she is clumsy and not paying attention to where she walks.”

I sighed and let it go. It hurt to be avoided but at the same time I didn’t want to have to deal with her. Reaching our table I saw the rest of my minions chatting quietly and then stopped when they saw us arrive.

“Something going on guys?”

Jessica cleared her throat.

“Did you and Angela have an argument? Or Arial?”

It was a poorly kept secret that Arial did not like Angela and vice versa.

“No why?”

“She is sitting with Tiffany and Beth and it’s never happened before. We were just wondering.”

“What the hell does that have to do with me?” I asked, a bit too quickly.

“Nothing! It’s just we know you two are pretty tight and it just seemed strange.”

“Maybe she wants to make new friends. Fuck her.” Arial commented and began digging into her chicken salad.

“Yeah… so my Dad was hunting this weekend and swore he saw a huge bear. Like the biggest bear he had ever seen. He said it was twice the normal size. He was so surprised he didn’t even get a shot off.” Lauren informed us.

I rolled my eyes. Wolves apparently were not as good at concealment as vampires.

“That’s ridiculous Lauren. Maybe your Dad shouldn’t mix alcohol with hunting.”

“Tyler! Were you with her father hunting?” I asked.

“No.”

“Then how the fuck would you know what he saw out there?”

“It was probably just a normal bear, right Bella? It could have been a trick of light or something.” Arial suggested, kicking me under the table.

“I’m just saying that someone who wasn’t there shouldn’t infer that Lauren’s father doesn’t know what he was saw or he was drinking. Don’t you agree, Tyler?”

“Yes, Bella. Sorry Lauren.”

That’s better. I like my minions to get along.

“Okay we need to party tonight. Charlie is working overnight so party at my place. Bring your suits, Arial and I will handle the alcohol.”

“Uh Bella, it’s a school night.” Eric said quietly. I met his eyes, daring him to question me.

“I’m sorry, Eric. I wasn’t suggesting we go to Seattle and have a rave. Just our little group hanging out at my hot tub getting wasted. We will all be in school tomorrow. Maybe.”

“They do have a point Bella. Maybe you shouldn’t drink tonight. You have been emotional lately. Maybe drinking isn’t what is best right now.” Arial said, kicking me once again. If she does it again, I am hitting her jaw.

“Hey, if you want to get out Bella, I wouldn’t mind seeing that new romantic comedy that just opened. I can’t remember the name…” Mike started, causing Jess to turn red from anger already. No matter how many times I tell him no he keeps coming back for more punishment. He is going to make an excellent boyfriend for a dominatrix one day. He loves pain.

“Romantic comedy? I swear I think you are gay sometimes, Mike. Why the hell would you want to see a romantic comedy?”

“I was just thinking you might like it?”

“Do I look like a Romcom girl to you? Is that what you think of me?” So maybe I was a bit bitchier today.

“I think Expendables 10 just opened. I heard they actually had to entirely CG Stallone because he couldn’t move without a walker anymore.” Arial suggested. cutting off the string of expletives I was about to unleash on Newton. When the hell did she become the peacemaker?

“Great idea . Expendables it is. We can all meet there at 8.” Wait a minute. “Jess, I’m going to invite Jacob Black from La Push. He is a sophomore but has the body of a college senior. Serious bodybuilder vibe going on. He might be worth a roll if you are interested in tall, dark, long haired, muscular guys.”

“Thank you, Bella, that is so nice of you. I would love to meet someone like that.” Jess said, grinning at Mike who suddenly was red. Yeah, your little toy is growing up Mike.

I didn’t speak to Angela at all day. She even changed partners in lab so we were as far apart as possible. Fucking little bitch. I hated her.

Okay I didn’t. I wish I did though.

At 7:45, No one was waiting for me at the front of the theater. This was strange. My minions were always on time. I didn’t understand what could have happened.

Until Arial texted me.

/sick -puking- want to die-/

Great.

Then Mike walked up. Alone.

“Where is everyone, Mike?”

“Ben, Eric, Tyler, Lauren and Jess all came down with some sort of stomach flu. It’s just me and you, I guess. Where is Arial?”

“Sick.”

“So it’s just the two of us.”

“Three of us.” Jake told him walking up. Mike looked up at Jake and was probably relieved Jessica wasn’t here.

“Jake, Mike, Mike, Jake, now you two are friends, let’s go see the fucking movie.”

Ten minutes into the movie and I was already annoyed. Mike sat on one side of me and Jake on the other. Both had their arms on my arm rests, palms turned up. I wonder if I should move them next to each other so they could hold each other’s hands.

“Hey guys?” I whispered.

“Yes?” they both said in unison.

“If you don’t move your arms off my arm rests, I’m going to give you both the type of hand jobs that leave you without a penis attached to your body.”

They moved their arms.

Thirty minutes and forty bodies later Mike looked like he wanted to puke. He stood up and ran out of the theater.

“Damn it. I guess I better go check on him.”

“I’ll come with you.” Great Jake. Thanks. I need to make sure one of my minions is going to live, not have a newbie minion following me.

We stood in the movie theater lobby waiting for Mike to come out from evacuating the contents of his stomach.

“What a cupcake. You like this guy Bella? You need a man who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.”

And that’s you cupcake?

“Don’t talk crap about my loyal min… friend. Did you miss the part about everyone having a stomach flu? He is probably just getting the same crap everyone else has, Jake. Chill the fuck out.”

I started to stroll up the lobby ready for Mike to get out so I could say bye to puppy and sleep away this fucked up night.

Jake grabbed my hand.

“Uh, what are you doing Jake?”

“Just holding your hand, Bella.”

No shit.

“Any reason why? We are friends Jake. That’s it.” Not even really close friends either.

“Friends can’t hold hands?”

“Not if a friend wants to keep that hand. I would suggest you take your large hand off mine before I begin breaking fingers. I think we need to have a talk about what we are and aren’t.”

“I agree, Bella. You know we could be good together. I think you should give me a chance.”

Oh God, not this shit. I honestly didn’t think he would have the balls to make a declaration like this. Looks like I have another one to shoot down. Everyone wants me except the one who I want. No, that isn’t true. She wants me, she is just to fucking scared to take a chance. She is a coward. I’ve put my life in danger so often and she is scared of what her bigot father might think about her being just friends with me. Arial was right, she was weak and would only bring me down.

I shook my head thinking about her, wondering if she had gotten the flu everyone else had. Should I text her? What if she responded? What if she didn’t? I should just leave it alone. Fuck her. No, got to Seattle and find someone worth fucking. That’s what I needed to do. Hey, wait, Jake is still holding onto my hand with his incredibly sweaty palm. Grose!

“Jake I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen.”

“It’s because of him, right? Cullen? He hurt you and you are afraid to take a chance now. Is that it? Bella, I’m not him.”

“No Jake, it’s just…” should I tell him I’m gay and ask him to keep it to himself? Would he? Did gossip get around La Push and filter into Forks quickly? There was already a rumor I was fucking a guy from La Push, probably Jake, making me want to puke. I’m 18, he’s 16. If I was straight and did him, not even diplomatic immunity would get me out of a statutory rape charge.

But If he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and it got out, Angela’s father would be all over her case. She was weak. She would break and tell him everything.

Why in the hell was I still protecting her?

I also needed to maintain my reason for being in La Push so much. No, that wasn’t it. I couldn’t take the chance of her being hurt. I should hate her. I do hate her. I still love her. This is so fucked up!

“I’m defintely not ready for a relationship. I’m not saying I will never be ready, just not now.” In college. I will find someone in college. Maybe I won’t go on a sex spree. I could try dating, getting to know things about someone like their last name or birthday, meet the family. It could happen one day. But did I really want it to happen? I was fine before I met her and now, I am sorts of fucked up inside. The girl is killing me.

“I can be patient Bella. I’m not going anywhere.”

Neither is this you idiot. Just a few more months and I will never see anyone from here besides Charlie again. He would be flown to my locale.

“Hey Bella, I think I should go home.” Mike said walking up. At least Jake let go of my hand without me having to rudely jerk it away or beak fingers.

“Mike you look like shit.” He did. He was pale and sweating and looked ill enough that I even felt bad for him, like literally concerned. Although he could be a pain in my ass, he was still my minion making his welfare matter a bit to me.

” Can’t take a little gore Newton?”

Jake was actually sneering. He seemed a bit pissed. I had never seen that on him before.

“I’m sick.” Mike told him, weakly defending himself.

“Maybe you need a hospital? Would you like me to put you in one?” Jake practically shouted.

“What the hell is your problem,man?”

I placed a hand on Jake’s chest, to keep him from beating the shit out of my minion and give myself a bit of distance for a knee strike.

“Don’t talk to him like that or I will put you in a hospital, Black. You need to go back home before I seriously kill you… Holy shit Jake, you are burning up. Are you feeling okay? Do you have a fever? Is that why you are acting like a psychotic spoiled brat picking a fight with someone smaller than you?”

“I feel fine. Talk to you later, Bella.”

Jake ran out of the theater before I could curse at him more.

“Jesus Bella, that guy has a serious attitude problem.”

“No shit. No more group outings for him.” I had a feeling I knew why. Apparently perceived rejection is a trigger for wolfing out as much as the presence of vampires.

“Can you drive home, Mike?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you later Bella. Sorry about this.”

“No problem just get better. I’ll follow you home. If you can’t drive, pull over and I can take you the rest of the way. The movie sucked anyway.”

The next morning I woke up, determined I would make Angela talk to me. At least let me know if she was okay and apologize for calling her a coward. I didn’t want her avoiding me the rest of the year. I shouldn’t drive her away from our friends. They were her friends long before I arrived.

I made it two steps before I was running and then praying to the toilet, hoping against hope that Charlie’s ass has not used it since it has been cleaned.

When has it been cleaned?

That thought made me vomit again.

I was sweating profusely, checked the mirror and was pale as when I first came to Forks.

Stomach flu.

Fuck my life.