Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Spy Games

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 30:

Oh God, my head. Why wasn’t I dead? I should be dead. Who would put an icepick through my skull?

I took stock of my situation. I know I am naked on top of the covers. Angela was draped across me, also naked. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know this. I knew the feel of her body, every single inch of her warm skin.

Her snoring also clued me in.

I opened my eyes, coming to grips with the simple fact that I would not be able to sleep again until I had several aspirin and several glasses of water.

Turning to my side to try to slide out from under Angela without waking her, I nearly screamed.

Arial was in my bed.

Thank God she had clothes on. At least she still had her bikini on.

“Arial?” I whispered.

“What?” she mumbled.

“Why are you in my bed?”

“Since when do you care if I sleep in your bed? All the couches and good spots on the floor are taken so I came up here. What’s the big deal?”

“I’m naked.” I whispered.

I’ve seen you naked a million times. It’s not like I have my fist up your ass.”

“Angela is naked on top of me.”

Arial’s head popped up.

“That’s disturbing. She really does have kind of a cute ass though. I can see what you are talking about. Not much junk in the trunk. God, my fucking head hurts. I can’t remember how much I drank last night. It was so worth it though.”

“Was it? Hey, did Jake and the Cullens come over?”

“Yeah.”

“Did I shoot Jake again?”

“No, I tried to shoot fun size but Hawk kept taking my gun. I tried to kill both of her. Can vampires make copies of themselves? I swear I saw two of her. I was probably just drunk. No… yeah… I think I’m still drunk.”

“Hey Swan!” a new voice whispered. I pulled Angela completely on top of me and tried to cover her ass with my hands.

“What the fuck are you doing in here Ty?”

“Hey, I need… damn she does have a cute ass. Perky little fucker. Roll her over so I…”

“Ty, I will fucking kill you. What do you want?!”

“Shhh. Hey, listen that Jessica friend of yours, you know, Stanley or somethin?”

“Yeah.” This couldn’t be good.

“Yeah, she graduated last night, right? Eighteen and all that?”

“Yeah Ty.” It wasn’t good.

“That’s a relief. She told me before I fucked her all night but I wanted to make sure. She just now got to sleep. I need to sleep too. I am still so fucked up. Damn that girl is a freak. She damn near fucked me sober. Anyway holla at ya later playa. Arial you might want to put something on besides strings before your Daddy sees you. He had a hard enough time with it last night.”

“You fucked a girl my age, Ty. I would be more concerned about you.”

“Damn, that’s a good point Jack Jr. Let’s keep this shit on the downlow aight? Great.”

Ty slapped Angela’s ass, hopped up and walked out of the room. Of course she woke up.

“Did you just slap my ass?”

“Uh… yeah.” No need to traumatize her this early.

“Oh God, I’m going to be sick.”

Angela slid off me onto Arial quickly, hung her head over the side of the bed and puked.

Head still hung over the bed she made an astute observation.

“I’m still lying on someone aren’t I?”

“Say good morning to Arial, Angela.”

“Good morning Arial?”

“Get your naked ass off me now!”

Oh God, the noise. I needed aspirin.

I rolled out of bed and threw on a very long tee shirt and my bikini bottoms from last night, or I guess this morning… Oh damn, it was only ten AM. What the fuck am I doing up this early?

I needed coffee.

Stepping in the hallway I found a nice surprise staring at me.

Sue Clearwater coming out of my Dad’s bedroom.

Interesting. Her eyes were very, very wide. I suppose she was as surprised to see me up as I was to be up.

“Morning, Sue.”

“Morning, Bella.”

“Were you going to use the bathroom?” I asked.

“Uh, yes but you can go ahead. I thought everyone would still be asleep.”

“No, by all means, I was just going to the kitchen. I know I was very, very drunk last night but I don’t remember seeing you. When did you get here?”

“Oh… around 3:30.”

“Quite the night owl, aren’t you? Why didn’t you come over earlier? It was a great party.”

“Oh, I didn’t want to intrude.”

“You would have been very welcome. That’s a nice negligee.” It really was. Very lacy, very red and very short. She had a nice body. Go Dad.

“Thank you. I wasn’t really, like I said, I wasn’t expecting you, I mean anybody to be up. Your Dad was nice enough to offer me a bed to sleep in since he didn’t want me driving home so late. I’m not sure where he is.”

About that time the sound of Dad’s snoring burst from his room. This was so awkward and I was enjoying it so much despite the pain I was in.

“I have a pretty good idea where to look for him, if you need him for… anything. So I was sorry to hear about your husband. That must have been difficult. I would have made the funeral but I was being kidnapped and taken to Italy at the time.”

“Oh right… completely understandable. Things come up. It has been very difficult for the kids especially, but they are coping as well as can be expected. On top of the other changes… of course you know about those.”

“Oh yeah, I hope you aren’t too upset with me about infiltrating your wolfpack and learning all their secrets. It wasn’t personal obviously. It really was Sam’s fault.”

“No, it’s fine. Charlie explained, I suppose in this day and age it was foolish for our tribe to think we can keep something like that a secret. Too many cameras today. At least your… agency has been very kind about it. If you could talk to Dante and ask him to stop leaving greeting cards in the pack members bedrooms while they sleep that would be great. If you wouldn’t mind.”

“He has a weird sense of humor but I will see what I can do. So what do you think of my Daddy without his mustache? I’m guessing since you are here the smooth shaven look doesn’t bother you?”

“No! we have been… I mean I have gotten so used to his as long as I have known him and I have to say it is a refreshing look. Your Dad has really helped me with my grief and…”

“Sue?”

“Yes?”

“How about you bullshit your friends and I will bullshit mine but let’s not bullshit each other, okay? I don’t care if you are doing my Dad. Believe me I am glad he is getting some. It’s cool. You’re a serious MILF. My Mom couldn’t make my graduation because she broke her foot jumping out a bedroom window before her lover’s wife discovered her. I’m not one to judge. Help yourself to the bathroom. I’m going to make coffee. Would you like some?”

“That would be great.”

“Awesome! See you in the kitchen.”

She turned towards the bathroom and I swatted her ass, making her jump a little.

“Impressive. You must work out huh?”

“Ye… yes.”

“Hey, if you think Dad is good, if you are ever curious about how the other side plays ball give me a call. It will be our little secret okay? See you downstairs.” I winked and left her alone. It was really too early to be fucking with someone like that but considering Ty Gavin was in my room and all I had on was my naked girlfriend, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

After a couple of cups of coffee, four Tylenol and a few questions about what sort of underwear Leah prefers, my questioning was cut off by Angela and Charlie stumbling down stairs. I let Sue off the hook and decided to get ready for the epic vampire wolf training session. Outside I saw Jessica stumbling out of the house next door with Ty behind her. Her hair was a mess, she was missing a shoe and from how her nipples were saying hello in the rain I would bet a bra. She was holding her head and moving slowly and hesitantly each step.

Yep, the walk of shame.

“Morning Jess!”

She looked over at me and started moving quicker only giving me a brief nod. People started filing out of my house, the ones who slept or passed out on the living room floor. I thanked each of them, and although they all looked in pain, they each mumbled a thank you.

Two smoking hot blondes walked out of Ty and Connolly’s house. Connolly was behind them, wearing jeans, boots and a straw hat, no shirt of course. He had a huge grin on his face and so did the blondes, who both hugged him and walked to a red Corvette down the street.

“Where the hell did you find those in Forks?” I asked once they were out of ear shot.

“Are you kidding? I met them last weekend when I tool a quick day trip to Seattle. BFFs for life. They like to share things with each other like you and Arial. Course where you two share a car, they share… everything. Anyway they asked me to call them and last night seemed like a good opportunity so they made the trip down. Great party by the way. I see the cleanup crew Jack activated has already come and gone. It must be a nice change for them. They usually sweep up body parts and mop up blood.”

“So you did… both of them?”

“Yep.” he smiled smugly.

“At the same time?”

“I do stay in excellent shape.”

“I hate you.” I reminded him.

“I would hate me too if I was you. I won’t be at the pansies mud wrestling seminar today. I’m teaching Angela a little hand to hand and she needs work with a rifle. Jack is filming the dog and fairy show. Have fun without me. Thanks for the live porno you and Ang performed on the front yard last night. Becky and Stacy really enjoyed watching. Got them in the mood if you know what I mean.”

“They are bi?”

“I would assume so. At least they didn’t have a problem touching and other things a gentleman doesn’t talk about with each other while one of them was on top of me. BFFs, right? Who understands women? It’s too bad you and Angela are monogamous. I think they really would give it up to the two of you. Oh well.”

“I hate you”

“That’s okay. I’m loving me right now. Later Swan. Tell your wife to meet me at the firing range behind your house in two hours. Hangovers are not an excuse to miss class.”

“I’ll let her know ‘Soldier’.”

“That’s fucked up Swan, but I am in such a good mood I really don’t give a fuck what you call me.”

Two hours later after showering with Angela which reminded me that unlike Connolly, I had all that I needed with one woman, I dressed in army green BDU pants and a very tight camo tank top because fuck them. Seth deserved to see what great cleavage looked like that didn’t belong to his sister. Poor kid. That’s fucked up seeing what all your friends want to do to your sister in vivid detail. Thank God he didn’t share a mind with me. She may be a bitch and I may be in love but I would do her in a heartbeat. Okay I wouldn’t, but I could sure as hell fantasize about it.

Hawk drove me out to the clearing in his Jeep which unlike Emmett’s had no problem reaching the area. Jack was somewhere in the tree line with a camera and probably getting a hand job from Sasha. Arial was helping Connolly with Angela and probably staring at his ass and Ty was probably still passed out, reminding me I needed to text Jess later.

What awaited me was disappointing. Jasper didn’t seem in the mood to take charge so I did.

“What the hell are you all phased for? How can you ask questions if you are phased? The vampires don’t speak dog!”

“They don’t trust us Bella.” Edward informed me.

“It’s enough that they came.” Carlisle added in.

“No, it isn’t! All of you phase to people so you can talk people speak! I see those clothes strapped to your little hind legs so get after it. Chop chop! The time you waste is another one of you who is crushed by a new vampire. I’ve killed two of these fuckers and they are fast and strong, a lot faster than these assholes! No offense Jasper, you’re cool. You wolves aren’t going to be ganging up on one Jamaican this time.”

One of those fuckers… oh silver… Paul… I believe huffed.

I snapped my fingers and the noise started. Rapid fire. The wolves and vampires scattered.

Dante walked out of the trees with another string of black cat firecrackers similar to the ones he had just lit.

“This is what I’m talking about! You fuckers are scared of firecrackers. Good Lord Paul, did you just piss in wolf form? Aren’t you house trained? Start taking this seriously!”

No one said a word but the wolves did phase human and put on shorts. Unfortunately Leah also had a tank top.

“Hey Leah, how are you doing this afternoon?” I asked civilly, trying to be nice.

She wouldn’t talk to me. Unbelievable. Just because she thinks I am responsible for her father’s death doesn’t mean she can’t be civil. Some things you gotta let go.

I kicked back against a tree Dante was sitting against and watched. I recorded everything on my iPhone and then played it back in slow motion.

“Bella it is not a good idea to film us.” Uley told me, walking up and looking very stern.

“You going to be the one who tries to take her phone?” Dante asked calmly, never moving from the ground but he did have a .45 that materialized in his hand, pointed at Uley.

Uley didn’t answer but did walk off looking like he got hit in the nose with a newspaper.

“These are the things we are relying on to take out a newborn army, Dante? Forks is so fucked. I think I need to get Dad and Angela to another country.”

Dante leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“We are not relying on them Bella. They are simply pawns. They have a chance to take out the enemy. If they fail, they will at least thin them out so it will be easy to handle the rest.”

Huh.

Cool.

I kept recording, stopping after each fight to show Dante what was going on.

Neither he nor I was very happy.

“Stop this now!”

Everybody stopped. When the Phoenix speaks, bitches listen.

“What the hell are you all doing? Don’t you take this seriously?”

“I assure you Bella we take this very seriously.” Jasper told me, with a cute little frown.

“Really? Because from what I have seen, Edward looked like he was mud wrestling with Carlisle. The smiles on their faces… what the fuck? It was like the volleyball scene from Top Gun! Repressed homosexuality at its best! Then Alice, you are landing on Jasper’s shoulders and kissing him? You going to do that when a bunch of blood thirsty monsters are running at you? Emmett why the fuck are you here if you are just running towards Jasper, knowing he is faster than you? These newborns will be as strong as you are! Don’t you give a damn about maybe learning some new techniques, I don’t know, let’s try ducking, throwing a guard up and counterstriking? Anything? Don’t even get me started on the wolves. Just standing there wishing they could be on four legs because they are scared of the vicious rabbit munchers! This is a fucking joke! Esme, Rose why aren’t you training? Afraid you are going to break a nail? Edward is getting his ass kicked by Jasper when he isn’t rolling around humping Carlisle and he isn’t even going to be in the fight. He is bait! What the hell is wrong with you all? Two days people. Two days to get your shit together.”

Motivational speech over. I had done my best. Jasper started back, playing with these idiots. Maybe he wanted them dead? No, he worked out a deal to save these fuckers. Plus those two other vampires. I wonder why he didn’t bring them in. He doesn’t want us to know who they are yet? He doesn’t want them involved in a battle with us? Did he even tell them? As close to the vest as Jasper keeps things, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Jake walked up to me. Very close.

Dante just pulled the hammer back on his .45 even though he never looked up at Jake. Jake stepped a few feet away from me.

“What do you want Jake?”

“Just seeing how things are going. So what do you think of all this?”

“It’s going to be a lot worse than this. I think most of you are going to die. Maybe all of you.”

Jake didn’t seem to appreciate that comment.

“Don’t go far, Black. I am going to need you in a moment.” Dante told him. Jake gulped pretty loudly.

“What did I do? I already got shot for kissing her. Please don’t shoot me again.”

“I said I needed you, not that I was going to kill you. If I was going to kill you, I could do that at any time and you would have no warning. I wouldn’t be that cruel to make you wait for it. Like I said, stay close.”

Jasper dispensed such profound knowledge like never underestimate your opponent, expect the unexpected, never look away, blah, blah, fucking blah. Not exactly the Art of War, but it was time to leave. Hawk had not left the Jeep the entire time and was standing leaned against the hood, arms crossed, with a disappointed look on his face. I’m not sure if he was disappointed because he couldn’t see what was going on or he saw enough to know it was a fucking tragedy.

“How are you feeling today, Bella? I realize you were quite intoxicated last I saw you. I hope you are okay.”

Fucking Edward.

“No, pretty much got over my hangover but my pussy is killing me.”

“Excuse me?”

“My pussy? Vagina? Special place, the permanent residence of Angela’s tongue? Yeah it is killing me. I have no idea how drunk I was, but I usually get pretty relaxed, you know flexible, while under the influence. I don’t know how many fingers she had up me but it must have been four or maybe all five. Thankfully she has small hands but I still feel wrecked. I think she may have fisted me and no one, and I mean no one, has ever done that to me. This must be what having a baby feels like. Edward I’m not sure how many fingers Carlisle shoves up your tiny ass but never let him fist you. I’ve been walking gently all day. It’s like a punch in the pussy every single time I take a step. Have you ever seen a pussy? I don’t mean when you look in a mirror, I mean a real live, hot, wet pussy? Never mind, you told me you hadn’t. Does pussy frighten you Eddie? If a giant newborn vampire pussy was coming for you would you freeze or run?”

Edward was speechless. He started the conversation and didn’t want to continue it. What the fuck was up with that? Hundred plus years and pussy scares him.

Wow, Edward was gone fast. Dante was quietly laughing. When I glanced at him his entire upper body was shaking and he wiped a tear from his eye.

“C’mon Phoenix. We need to talk to Major Whitlock. Jake, here boy. You want me to give you a treat to get you to follow? I bet I can make you roll over and play dead.”

I followed Dante dutifully because unlike Jack, Ty and Connolly, I never questioned him. He was too awesome.

“Whitlock, how do you know so much about fighting newborns?” I was curious. He seemed like the only one who knew what he was doing.

“Unlike my siblings I had a different start to my vampire life. As you know I was the youngest major in…”

“Yeah short version please?”

I really wasn’t in the mood to listen to anymore bullshit. Angela owed my pussy an apology and I meant to collect it sometime today.

“The bitch who turned me had me lead newborn armies in battle for feeding grounds. I had to dispense with quite a few and break up fights, hand out punishments, that sort of thing, from time to time. It was a pretty brutal experience. Not one I like to remember. A friend helped me escape that life. One day I was in a diner, thinking about…”

“Short version remember?”

“I met Alice and she brought us to the Cullens.”

“Bummer.”

“Not really. I like my life now.”

“Sounds boring. You’re lucky I came along and brought some excitement with me. Maybe Alice will let you have your man card for the slaughter, I mean newborn fight. Are you planning on wearing Dockers?”

Dante interrupted before Jasper could answer.

“Whitlock, Bella will lay out the scent trail tomorrow leading the vampires to this clearing. We want the newborns here but Victoria will most likely track Edward, believing him to be with Bella. We have a site set up for her. I do not want Bella’s scent leading to that spot, understand?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Edward will leave a trail for Victoria to follow. The child, Seth will be there as well so we can watch him. He is too young for this battle. He will be assigned as back up to protect Bella so his pride is not wounded. He has the biggest heart of all of them.”

“I need all the wolves…” Jasper started.

“It wasn’t a request.” Dante finished.

“Okay.”

“So I want Edward’s scent clear from this area but close enough for Victoria to find it, leading her to the trap. I want Bella’s scent hidden. If she is carried by a wolf after she leaves her trail here, will the smell of Mr. Black hide hers?”

“Whoa! Hold on Dante. I usually don’t question you but…”

“He is the only one who will carry you, who I am confident will not accidentally or purposely hurt you. Number one, despite the pain you have put him through he is still in love with you. Number two, he knows I will kill him if you have a scratch on you. Number three, he knows I will kill his entire family if there is a scratch on you. I may even take a vacation in Hawaii.”

Jake just gulped again. He really is loud when he does that.

“I won’t let her get hurt. I can carry her in my arms and…”

“You will be phased. She will ride on your back. Go slow so she isn’t hit by a passing branch. One fucking scratch or any attempt to touch her in an inappropriate manner and you and your family are dead. I have sworn to protect her. I take my oaths seriously. No more shooting to wound. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir.”

“Whitlock will his scent be enough to disguise hers? If the newborns get by, I don’t want her and the rest of her backup being overwhelmed. I only want one vampire there.”

“I think the newborns will be discouraged from following his stink.” Jasper told us with a bit of a sneer towards Jake. Jasper really didn’t like wolves, I guess.

“You want to compare stinks leech then…” Jake started

“Children, I have no time for this. I know what I need. Bella lays the trail tomorrow here and then you give her a ride to the cliff where we will spring the trap. She camps out there overnight and we eliminate the threat. I expect this to go smoothly.”

“I understand but I would watch who you call a child Dante. I am quite a bit older than you.” Jasper reminded him.

“Then act like it. These wolves are your teammates whether you like it or not. There is no reason for hostile feelings. Hawk is waiting, Bella.”

Hawk picked me up by my waist and threw me over his shoulder.

“Hawk, what are you doing?”

“Jack said he heard you tell Eddie that every step you take is like a punch in your pussy. Figured I would help you out.”

I sighed. Hawk could be really cool sometimes.

Angela did apologize for hours that night at Jack’s house. Charlie was releasing some pre battle stress with Sue at our house. You would think she would want to spend time with her kids since this is potentially their last night on earth but I guess my old man’s dick took precedence. Good to see she has her priorities straight.

The next day started off good. Bella’s love palace felt better; Angela attacked me in the morning like she would never see me again. She cried a bit afterward and held on to me, like she never had before. I took an hour to convince her that I would be okay and there was nothing to be worried about. She pointed out to me that I was bait in the trap to catch a vampire so I conceded her point but reminded her that she had to have faith in all of us. I was too damn pretty to die.

Deciding that despite the chill in the air, unusual for this time of year, I would wear a Nike running top, tights and favorite pair of trail running shoes. I would be doing quite a bit of running today and cold would not be a problem. Before I left, I checked the weather on my spy computer and was very surprised to see a storm front was scheduled to arrive tonight with very cold fucking weather. A snow storm on the first day of Summer vacation. Only in Washington. I suppose Oregon too in all fairness. I grabbed a back pack and packed my UnderArmour winter gear, a pretty loose long sleeve tee to throw over it, an emergency blanket in case more heat is needed than the sleeping bag Jack probably is going to set up in the tent I have to spend the night in. Arial would chill there until she had to go set up around the clearing with Sasha tomorrow morning. I wasn’t really a camping kind of girl. Jack insisted on it though, at least once every couple months. We would go into the desert and learn to make fire without lighters and kill and skin snakes, other survival shit like that. I could survive with a K Bar and if that wasn’t available, I knew how to make a primitive knife out of rocks. Neither Arial nor I were big on the outdoors unless sunbathing near a pool counted, but this was doable.

I did the required running from the nearby ocean to the clearing. By the time I picked up the third path I realized I had only covered about five mile and I was hurting. I really needed to stop slacking on training. Apparently fucking Angela does not count as aerobic exercise. Arial was right once again.

By the time the third trail ended I was beat, seven miles over pretty rugged terrain was defintely more difficult that it should have been. Hawk had a bottle of water waiting for me.

“Getting out of shape, Swan. Maybe you can peel yourself off your girlfriend and get some PT in. She is running with Connolly. Pretty soon she will be in better shape than you.”

“I guess she will be doing all the work while I lay back and enjoy it then. I didn’t see you running with me.”

“I don’t run. Not in my nature.”

“Whatever. You’ve spent so much time training to be Mr. Universe, that you are too big to run. It’s cool.”

“Your dog is waiting to give you a ride.” he told me, jerking his thumb over to Jake, who was already in wolf form. I saw Dante was back and whispering in Jake’s ear.

“Where is my saddle, Dante?”

“I couldn’t find one big enough to fit him. Just hop on, grab fur and stay low, you will be there before you know it. Sasha and Arial will be in blinds to the East, Hawk and Ty will have the West to aid the pawns. I, Jack and Connolly will be at the top of the cliff. Cullen will be on the ground with you. Jake will stay tonight if contact with the wolves is needed. Seth is going to spend time with his mother and sister tonight but will be here first thing in the morning to keep Cullen informed of the battle and through him, us.”

“Uh… why do Jake and Eddie have to be there with me?”

“In the event that Victoria strikes early and doesn’t give the future teller a thirty second head start, they will be sufficient distractions to hit your dog whistle and we will take her out. They won’t bother you. If they do make them hurt, okay Bella? Trust me, I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel it was necessary.”

“I concur Bella.” Sasha’s voice whispered seductively in my ear. Okay so it wasn’t seductive but close enough for me. Figures Jack would have the two people I can’t say no to, gang up on me.

“Bella come to the east side tree line and leave your doggy horse behind for a moment. I need to speak to you.” Sasha commanded so I obeyed. Maybe she was going to give me a mercy fuck in case I died? Angela and I had talked about this and we both agreed if she was willing for one of us, we should take it and it will not affect our relationship. I don’t share and neither does she.

We would both make an exception for Sasha.

I walked my aching legs over to her. She was dressed like the sexiest little female Rambo ever. Arial was beside her and had too big of a smile.

Fuck, Edward Cullen was with her.

“What the hell is he doing here? Isn’t it enough that I have to camp with his sparkly ass tonight?”

“Bella, I need you to shut up and listen to me.”

“Yes ma’am.” I responded quickly. She had that don’t fuck with me tone going on.

“It is likely the Volturi will arrive after the battle.”

“Why do you say that? Wouldn’t they stop it before it got this far?”

“Exactly. That is their self-imposed primary mission but they haven’t. I am sure the Volturi are aware of this situation. The killings in Seattle had to catch their attention meaning they are going to let this happen and show up afterwards to assess the damage to the Cullen coven.”

“Okay, so we take them out too right? Then we all head to Florida, right? Fun, sun, sex?”

“The entire coven won’t show up. The death of the scouts will just piss them off. We need more time. We haven’t tracked down our old friend and the tech I need is still being developed. I have to draw all of them in and I have a plan to make them stop before they overrun us. I need a month, maybe two. Then Florida, I promise. They are going to be looking for any excuse to fight or at least report back to their daddies that the Cullens aren’t playing ball. So you are going to have to lie if they show up.”

“Okay, no problem. I’m a great liar, aren’t I, Eddie?”

“You are wonderful at lying to yourself.” he responded. Yeah, he was going to have to die before this was over.

“They are going to want to know why you haven’t been changed now that school is out. Tell them you are marrying Cullen and will be turned after the Wedding.”

Hold

The

Fuck

Up

“I would rather they kill me. I would prefer they kill him first so I can watch.”

“Bella…”

“No, Sasha!”

“You aren’t going to actually marry him! You have to lie. You are a spy damn it! Do as you are told!”

I was so angry I could kick her pregnant ass right now if I didn’t know she would beat me to death.

“This is bullshit!”

“They aren’t going to believe you are with anyone else, Bella. If you don’t give them an excuse, we are going to have to deal with Aro sooner than later. I need time. Just lie okay. You pretended to love this fucker for six months, a few minutes won’t kill you.”

“And if they attack me anyway?”

“Then hit your dog whistle, pull your firearm and me, Dante, you and Arial are going to be executing some fairies. Trust me. Please Bella. You know Jack and I would die before we let you get hurt.”

“I’m not worried about getting hurt! I’m worried about rumors starting that I am going to marry this fucking pansy!”

“No one will know. I promise.”

I looked her in the eyes, trying to burn a hole in her beautiful skull.

“Is it so bad Bella?”

“Shut up Edward!” Sasha yelled, eyes never leaving mine. “She isn’t marrying you, you deluded pussy. We are going to lie because I don’t want to bring the Volturi down on us yet. That is all you need to know. It is a lie and you are going to fucking sell it. Let your family know. Let them know it is a lie, or I will be visiting you and trust me boy you do not want to fuck with me.”

Damn it. I guess I was fake marrying Edward Cullen.

“See you at the camp site, Eddie. Later, Sasha.”

“Bella, I need you to trust me okay?”

I took a deep breath.

“I do, Sasha. If they come, I will lie my fine ass off. But if they even look like they are hostile I am popping their asses. I gotta go ride a wolf and prepare to neuter him if he tries anything. This is going to be the worst camping trip ever.”

Fuck my life.