Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Spy Games

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 36:

“We need to talk.”

Oh God. Any other time when Arial would tell me we needed to talk, it meant either she was pissed off at me or she wanted to tell me about some guy she wanted to do and couldn’t sneak off from Hawk long enough to get a chance. I was praying she was pissed off at me. After spending the last three days in my bedroom with Angela while Charlie took an extended visit to Seattle, coincidently the same time Sue had to leave her reservation for a few days, I was in no mood to listen to hetero sex stories. Angela was still asleep and I just wanted to get a little exercise in that didn’t involve sex before she woke up and we could get back to having sex. I didn’t ask for much.

No not sex. Making love. Damn it, I am going to have to work on that.

“What, dear sister, would you like to talk about?”

Please not her boring ass kinda boyfriend Embry. Please no. At least Paul was fun to fuck with. Watching him piss his cutoffs every time a gun went off never got old. It just didn’t.

“Our pet is in heat. He needs our help. The boy is useless when it comes to women.”

Seth? I knew I should have had him neutered. If he gets some chick knocked up with puppies, I am not going to be the one at the end of the Walmart parking lot trying to give those fuckers away for free.

“At least I know he didn’t imprint. So if he has some little crush why did he come to you? Doesn’t he get enough sex ed from the wolfie Vulcan mind meld they all do? Some of those guys have to get laid right? Never mind, dumb question.” All their supernatural booty calls were gone so they probably had to rely on their own charms to get laid.

Arial stuck a finger in my ear, making me say ow.

“Are you suggesting that I fucked Embry?” she whispered.

“No, I was suggesting that even though some fucked their imprints I doubt they know shit about picking up women, but apparently Embry has done a decent job. Are you suggesting you haven’t fucked him?”

“No! I’m actually trying to behave. Sasha told me I had to. Plus I’m really not into him. He is so afraid of my Dad, he is constantly scanning trees to see if a sniper is around. I tried to explain that if there was a sniper who had a bead on him, he would never see him but that didn’t make him feel better. He’s kinda boring. If he had some kind of edginess or… I don’t know. He’s a damn werewolf and he is afraid of Dad and Hawk and Dante has every one of those guys ready to run every time they hear a car backfire. He’s going to have to show some balls before I show him the goods.” Arial explained. I couldn’t disagree.

“Ok, that’s understandable. I realize Jack and his boy band bromances have pretty much neutered the whole pack. So why are you still wasting time with him?”

“Because every time I go on a date, that vein in Dad’s forehead pops out. You can only see it when he clenches his jaw and grinds his teeth and it is so cute. Sasha won’t let him be mean about it and if I cut Embry off at his knees Dad will only be happy. Where is the fun in that?”

“Good point. So Seth likes a girl. What the fuck are we supposed to do? Have the sex talk with him? He should talk to his freaky mom. Lord knows she has been getting enough over the years. Doing her husband and my Dad? I don’t see why they couldn’t have come to some arrangement and just double teamed her at some point, if they were such good friends. You know she would be into it. Woman is as much of a freak as her daughter.”

“He is nervous. He wants to ask her out and isn’t sure what to do. I think she is 16 which is probably way too old for him but he is a big kid and looked so adorable when he was talking about her, I can’t help but want to help him.”

“Fine, so how much does he know about the target?”

“She is a sophomore at Forks or I guess she will be a junior when school starts back. Her name is Julie Townes.”

“Down Townes Julie? This should be easy. Tell him to take her to an alley and ask if she wants to fuck. From what I understand that is about as complicated as it gets with her. Does he know she has fucked more guys her sophomore year than most girls do in their entire high school and college careers?”

“No, I didn’t have the heart to tell him. He saw her at First Beach and… you know how puppy love works.”

“Not when the guy is an actual puppy. Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“We hook him up with a com and watch from the beach. He approaches, repeats after me, talks her into going on a date with him and it’s a done deal. Our mission is complete.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Seth was so sweet but one of the most awkward conversationalists I had ever met. In his defense he has seen me and Ang making out quite a bit in bikinis and that would tend to make a boy speechless.

So that is how I found myself taking a break from my week long Angela marathon, laying out on the beach with Arial, ignoring the stares we received and watching Seth pace twenty yards from the youngest ho in Forks high history who was laid out herself, in a bikini way too small for her, considering her lack of lean muscle and overall inflated sense of her hotness.

“Eagle to Lone Wolf, do you copy?”

“Yeah Arial. Do I really have to wear this thing in my ear? It kinda itches.”

“You would prefer it to be buried in your skull like mine Seth? Cry me a fucking river and man up. Now go talk to this girl.”

I was ready to leave. This beach simply teased me and reminded me that I was not in Florida. I had planned on celebrating my 19th birthday in Jacksonville and instead I am here… still. My… education is suffering. Cliques will be made in the first semester that I am not a part of. I am not good with this, however the idea of killing the Volturi does have slightly more appeal. I would never admit it to anyone but I still dream about the time I spent in that fucking lobby, listening to the screams of people they slaughtered.

“Just talk to her. Shouldn’t I have some reason?”

I rolled my eyes and looked at hetero expert who shrugged her shoulders and laid back down. A lot of help she is. Fine, it’s on the Phoenix once again to complete the mission.

“See that soccer ball behind you?”

“The one the little kids are playing with?”

“Yeah take it from them and…”

“Take their ball?”

“Yes, take the fucking ball. They aren’t going to be traumatized because they had to give up a soccer ball for a few minutes.”

I watched Seth and to my disappointment instead of just taking the fucking ball, he tried to talk to the little shits.

Little shit number one picked up the ball and little shit number two kicked dirt on him. Being a take charge kind of person I stood up, walked over, grabbed the fucking ball out of little shit number one’s dirty hands and tossed it at the Forks High bicycle.

Then I kicked dirt on little shit number two. Nobody mistreats my dog, even if it is a seven year old.

“Go get the ball and tell her you are sorry, then introduce yourself.” I ordered Seth. I would have tossed a vampire arm over there but one was not available.

“You hit her in the head!” Seth informed me. I looked at Down Townes and was not the least bit dismayed to see he was correct. Yeah, she was going to have a headache.

“Go grab the ball and apologize to her.”

“Hey bitch! Who do you think you are…”

Yeah, Down Townes just recognized me.

“Oh my God, Bella I didn’t recognize you, I am so sorry…”

“Shut up. This is my pet… friend Seth. He wants to get to know you. Go back to your blanket, keep your legs closed for five minutes and he will be over.”

“Uh… okay but…”

“Julie just because I graduated does not mean for one second that I do not own this entire area. Do as you are told.”

“Yes ma’am.” Julie ran off to her blanket while Seth stared at me.

“What? You wanted an in? There is your fucking in. Now go close the deal so I can get back home. You aren’t fucking her in my hot tub either.”

“What am I supposed to say now that you have terrified her?”

“Just go and Arial and I will walk you through it.”

I dropped my ass on the beach blanket and leaned back on my arms, keeping one eye on my puppy.

“You think this is a good idea? She is a complete whore you know. I heard she has been with five or six guys and she is only 16.”

“She is a whore but… wait, how many guys?” I must have heard that wrong.

“Five, maybe six?” Arial answered, confirming that I did not actually hear that wrong.

“So you think if someone has five or six sexual partners by the age of 16 that makes that person a whore?”

“Well duh… oh fuck.”

Yeah. Oh fuck Arial. Like father, like daughter.

“So you are Seth?” The nice, not a whore girl, asked my puppy. He of course, didn’t answer. This would be harder than I thought.

“Say yes.”

Seth followed directions. Good boy.

“So how do you know Bella?” Julie asked, no longer called by her undeserved title.

“I uh…”

“You’re my pet.” I told him.

“Bullshit. Tell her Bella was attacked once and you saved her life.” Arial suggested, causing me to drop my shades and deliver a death glare Janet would be proud of, in her direction. I wonder if I whispered pain if the bitch would drop.

“Bella was attacked by a couple guys and I saved her.”

I’m killing the fucking dog. Angela’s idea about a poodle was sounding better and better.

“That is awesome. I’m kinda surprised though, Bella and Arial have always seemed like they could take care of themselves… and everyone else.”

“Bella hides deep emotional scars behind a tough facade.” Arial further told him, getting her closer to an ass beating of epic proportions.

I jabbed my fist to the side, connecting with Arial’s jaw. Looking around, I was pleased to see no one noticed. She noticed, judging by how her tongue was probing the inside of her cheeks trying to find blood.

“Seth you say exactly what I tell you and do not repeat after Arial or so help me you will regret it. Ask her if she wants to get out of here.”

Seth did as he was told and of course Julie agreed. “Yeah, totally. Where do you have in mind?”

“Take her to your house, Seth.”

“Uh… I l… live close to here. We could hang out at my place?”

“Be strong. Tell her she looks hot.”

“You look really hot.”

“Thank you, Seth. You’re pretty hot yourself. I really think you have a great body. Do you work out?”

“Not really. I guess I run a lot.”

“Tell her there is a sale in your room. Clothes 100% off.”

“Do not listen to her Seth! Come here, now.”

Oh, Arial was speaking again. I should have hit her harder. She looks like she needs rest. You would think she gets enough sleep listening to Embry tell her about his day. Yeah baby, I ran around on four legs in a circle, washed Sam’s car, did my homework, ate dinner with Mom and repeated the cycle.

Seth made his way over, looking a bit flustered.

“You alright there big guy?” He didn’t look as confident as he should. He was about to get laid. She wasn’t exactly putting up a challenge. I’m wondering why we even had to bother with this.

“Seth, you don’t want her. She has fucked around with a lot of guys and…”

“So? He can’t get any diseases with that whole doggy healing thing and it’s not like he isn’t going to wrap it up.” Kid wants her help to get laid and now she is pulling the plug?

“Bella he… I mean Seth you obviously have zero experience with women, right?”

“No shit he doesn’t. That’s the kind of girl you get experience with, right? Isn’t that what you said? Remember Arial? Young girls who have sex are whores. Apparently, the limit is two one night stands before the age of 18 to be considered a lady.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“You meant exactly what you said! You are just like your Dad. I swear both of you think I’m a whore!”

“I don’t think you are a whore! Just because you started experimenting… and seemed to have a lot of casual… I don’t think that about you!”

“But you think it about her?”

“You called her a whore too!”

“I changed my mind. She is just a free spirit and liberated. Now you are saying she isn’t good enough for Seth?”

“Uh guys?”

“Shut up Seth!” we both yelled at him.

“I’m not… look you are totally different than her. Yeah, you started early and often with quite a few girls but those were probably experiments, ya know?”

“Oh I experimented the fuck out of them. The experiments were a definite success. I suppose since you fucked Tristan and Paul only once those were experiments and you are still a virgin?”

“Guys, I don’t think…”

“Do you really want our puppy’s first time with someone as shallow as her, a girl with low self-esteem that throws herself at every guy she runs across to make her feel better about herself?”

“No! It wasn’t my idea to bring him here. You wanted to conduct this mission, I’m just support and now that we are here you are suddenly judgmental and want to abort. Besides exactly what were you doing when you met Paul for the first time?”

“Fuck you Bella, that was different!”

“Uh guys?”

“NOT NOW SETH!” we both yelled again.

“So how is it different Arial? Please explain.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“No you don’t, you can just call me a whore and move on, you self-righteous bitch!”

Ow! Bitch hit me in the jaw. Yeah, this shit was on.

We stood up and squared off. If we were going to fight, we would do it right. She always moves with a right spin kick.

Fuck! Knee to the gut. Nice move. Too bad you left yourself open for an uppercut. Yeah, her teeth just slapped together. I followed with a shot to her solar plexus. Oh fuck she has my wrist… yeah, I’m on the ground. Damn it! I rolled just in time.

She tried to elbow me from above! That would have broken my nose! Fuck this. I hopped up, avoiding her standard leg sweep, side stepped and dropped her. Time to go for the ankle. Yeah got it. One leg bar coming up.

“Oww you fucking bitch!”

You have no idea, Arial.

“Should have protected yourself better. Your grappling sucks.”

“Only because I haven’t had as much experience as you have on the ground with people. Or diner bathrooms now that I think about it.”

Oh this bitch. I pulled back and twisted. She flipped and screamed but… fucking tanning lotion, I lost her.

Whoa, that hurt. Her foot is like a snake bite.

We were both on our knees. Her mouth was bleeding and her eye would be swollen. I know I had blood on my face, probably from my nose and probably a broken rib but fuck it. We were settling this. Actually I’m not sure what started this but judging by the grin on her face that probably matched mine, we both needed it.

“Guys I’m really not into her. Arial is right, she… I… I thought she was pretty but she just seems… eager. I think I’m just going to say bye and maybe you two could stop beating the hell out of each other. I’ll… I’ll have sex with her if you two stop fighting if it means that much to you, Bella.”

“Send her away Seth. Me and Arial are just having fun.”

Arial winked at me. Yeah, we weren’t close to finished.

“You two are in string bikinis having a UFC fight on First Beach. You’re both bleeding. Some people are starting to notice. Like everybody here.”

Arial and I stood a little straighter and chanced some quick glances around. Yeah about a hundred or so men, women and children were staring at us.

Arial wiped a little blood off her mouth while I sniffed a bit back into my nose and we did our best to act casual. I think we were failing. Towels hit both our faces.

“Wrap these around your may as well be naked bodies and let’s go before you torture anymore teenage boys and traumatize anymore children.” Hawk ordered. How does his big ass sneak up on us like that?

“We are not…”

“Shut it Arial. I’m burning your suits when we get back and don’t give me any shit about being 18 or buying new ones. I’m going to keep burning them until you figure out wearing something that covers your whole butt isn’t against the law. Let’s go.”

“We good?” I asked her.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

We gave each other a fist bump and picked up our shit. Hawk was probably right, I’m sure a lot of teens would be jacking off thinking about the fight we just had.

“Hey Seth, weren’t you here about a girl or something?” I remembered.

“Nah, she left. She looked a little scared. I… I didn’t really like her anyway.”

“Good call Seth. She was kinda a whore. You want to come hangout with us at the casa?” I offered.

“No… I have to patrol. But maybe later?”

“Anytime. We are out of here. I think we both need ice.”

“No shit. I’m going to walk with a limp for the next week bitch.” Arial grumbled. Should have protected your guard better little mermaid.

When we reached Jack and Sasha’s, the lady of the house was waiting inside with a first aid kit, ice packs and a serious look of disapproval. She is usually a fan of Arial and I training. Impending motherhood is making her prematurely judgmental. She needs some serious Renee time to remind her how to be irresponsible.

“Clean yourselves up and get dressed. You have to go to the Cullens. Arial can go unless you two need time apart?”

“Nah we are good. Is my nose broke?” I asked, lifting my face.

“Close but no. Arial keep the ice on your eye. Bella don’t run for a few days without your ribs wrapped. I can’t believe you idiots.”

“So why are we going to the Cullens?” I asked, glad that we got away with just being called idiots.

“Because Vinnie is there and he needs to look at you and Edward together to get the whole vampire human hybrid thing going. Then we need to talk about the next steps. I will be there later to talk to Carlisle. He needs to start making a few phone calls to the Denalis and hinting that Irina should apologize. If he listens to me things should go well. If he doesn’t, I’m killing him and getting Jasper to make the call.”

“Sounds good. Where is Jack and the rest of One Direction?”

“Busy setting some things up we will need. Relax, let me handle the details and get to the Cullens.”

“Yes sir, Ma’am.” I gave her a quick salute and ran to get changed. A quick call to Angela, to let the missus know I will be home late for dinner and the two of us were in Eleanor, moving our fine asses before Miss still hot but such a bitch and not in a sexy way Sasha kicked both our asses. Of course Hawk followed because the two of us are fragile and need protection. He was serious today because he stayed on our ass the entire time. I didn’t think his Jeep could move that fast.

“We don’t need protection, Dan.” Arial told him as soon as we got out of the car.

“You both forgot your dog whistles and guns you ignorant brats.”

---

Yeah, that would have sucked. Esme could have made us eat her cooking and Edward could have played the piano.

He handed us our weapons and I was a bit pleased to see Arial’s eye swelling. She noticed and mouthed fuck you but as long as it was with a smile, we were good. I just couldn’t laugh because my rib was really cracked and I am going to have a huge bruise decorating my side tonight.

When we walked in unannounced, because really, they should have heard us drive up and no one else visits their weird asses, we moved to the sound of laughter emanating from the second floor living room. What a great house. Welcome, now walk up a flight of stairs before you can chill out on the couch.

Emmett and Vinnie were both laughing and I could see why when we reached the top. Vinnie was apparently doing an impression of Edward in drag. At least I think it is Vinnie. Maybe Eddie is wearing a miniskirt and tube top. Eddie has great tits. Nope there is Ed in the corner, pouting. Big surprise.

“What’s up freaky unnatural creatures and Vinnie?”

“Welcome Bella. Before Vinnie steals you and Edward I would appreciate if I could have a word with you.” Carlisle asked, zooming in at their little light speed. That was surprising since he and Esme were the ones who had the biggest hard ons for acting human. He must be trying to get a psychological edge on me.

Of course then every vampire in the room went down.

I took a look at Arial who shrugged her shoulders then back at Hawk. He wasn’t smiling but his hand had a dog whistle in it.

After ten seconds he let up.

“When we are here you will move at human speed. When I see blurs, I assume a vampire is a threat to my girls and I will not hesitate to take you down and end you to protect them. Do we all have an understanding?”

Look at the big guy go. I wasn’t surprised, Hawk did not fuck around with Arial’s safety. Not only was he Jack’s teammate, he has been her bodyguard since she was twelve and was just as protective of her as Jack.

“I apologize. Bella can we talk? Alone?”

Before I could answer, Hawk jumped in, speaking more today than I have heard him speak in months.

“What do you wish to speak to her about? There is no alone. Where she goes, I go and if there is a problem, I hold rank on this mission over these two. You may address me with your concerns.”

Carlisle sighed which was weird since he didn’t need to breathe.

“Fine, Mr. Hawk correct?”

“You have perfect memories according to our intel packets. You know my fucking name. Get on with it.”

“I would like to once again express my desire to leave the Denalis out of this. I am hoping Bella can speak to Sasha about this. They are our family and…”

“Jack is my boss, and the leader of this particular mission. Sasha is his boss. The boss of the boss told me if you didn’t play ball, to kill you and your wife and find the next person in line who wants to carry on with their undead existence to make the call. If you do as you are told your extended family will be safe. If not, we kill all of you and go to plan B.”

“What is Plan B?” Emmett asked, no longer laughing. I was kinda impressed with the big guy myself right now.

“To stage the largest explosion in the history of Italy and leave a huge crater where the Volturi castle used to reside. Less subtle and riskier on foreign soil but we have undertaken riskier missions. Never make the mistake of thinking we need you. Jack and Sasha are allowing this as a favor to Jasper and part of his agreement, which I personally consider null and void since Alice kidnapped Bella which led to her involvement in this mess to begin with. Connolly agrees with me and when he sets out to kill something he never fails. Something to think about Edward. Sasha will be here in an hour to listen to the call. Do not piss her off.”

Okay then. I guess the big guy’s word is final. No one seemed to challenge him. Not that he was challenged often by those outside of the family. Ever actually.

“Hey doll let me get a look at you and Baby Gap next to each other. I need to create your love, demon child.”

I did as the weird alien with the Jersey accent told me but stayed at least an arm’s length away from Edward. He looked so disappointed, maybe because he wasn’t the one in drag.

Vinnie/Edward in drag, took a long look at us while I tried not to laugh my ass off. He even had Edward’s brooding, please kill me look down. Seeing it on Edward’s face was too much.

“Okay, I got it. Give me a minute and I think I will have it perfected.”

Vinnie walked out and I was strangely excited to see this. I had already seen the first draft the day Sasha tried to suffocate me in her alien slime suit but this should be better. I hope he had a cute dress for her.

“Can I at least have a son?” Edward asked.

“Seriously? You are such an asshole. A baby girl isn’t good enough for you? Are you for real? Do you have some birthright you have to pass on to your first born son? God you amaze me. Our little alien love child isn’t good enough for you?!”

Asshole.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I just don’t understand why it has to be a girl. I don’t want to see a cute little girl get torn apart when the Volturi rush us without stopping to listen. They are going to think she is an immortal child and…”

“Shut up.” Dan’s voice instructed calmly.

Edward did actually shut up. I should have asked Hawk to start speaking for me a long time ago.

“A girl is harder to kill than a boy, even for evil bastards like the ones we are dealing with. That’s why terrorists prefer to use women and young girls as suicide bombers. Also Vinnie can’t exactly be torn apart. The only way to take him out is to burn him. As far as the Volturi, if they don’t stop to listen, don’t worry about it. I got a little surprise that will make those bastards stop. One way or another they are in burning pieces on that battlefield. This is what we do. Vampires are not the first alien or supernatural bitches we have killed and they won’t be the last. Relax, play the piano, jack off, whatever the fuck it is you do and let the professionals handle these pieces of shit.”

I can’t believe I actually want to hug Hawk right now. That was more than I have ever heard him speak and it was so worth it.

Arial was of course smiling at her big pet. She has such a soft spot for him, no matter how many potential relationships he has chased off.

“What do you think?” a sweet little voice asked. We all looked at the hallway and there she was. My fake daughter and she was so… creepy.

“Uh, I think you will definitely make the Volturi stop. I haven’t seen a kid this creepy since those twins in the Shining.” Those girls still creeped me out.

“I think I happen to be beautiful. My hair is gorgeous, don’t you think Daddy?”

Edward was speechless and looked like he ate a burger earlier and needed to puke it up.

“You are the most adorable girl I have ever seen.” Rose gushed, making me wonder what the fuck was wrong with her. This kid is going to live up to her name as the Loch Ness Monster.

“I have a great idea!” Arial shouted with way too much glee. I was suddenly very nervous and wondered if we would have a repeat of the beach. “Let’s get some photos of Bella pregnant! That way if we have to show some of these vampires evidence, she carried the kid as a human, we can have proof!”

“Fuck you Arial! Vinnie you do not have my permission to imitate my hot ass pregnant! That is never going to happen!”

“I like it, let’s do it. Rose honey, you got some sweats. I’m about to get preggers and I don’t think this cute little dress is going to make it.” Vinnie told her, disregarding my offense at the very notion. Connolly was right, they should have burned the blob.

I stormed out, refusing to be a party to this, and knew Arial and Hawk were behind me. I turned on Eleanor’s engine and got the hell away from my worst nightmare. Pregnant? Not happening. And with a vampire?

I will be having nightmares about carrying around a child while drinking blood through a straw until the little demon chews its way out of me for months now.

Fucking alien. Fucking Arial.

And more fucking problems when we arrived back at Sasha’s after grabbing burgers at my house. Hawk cooked because I still refuse to touch raw meat. He actually ate six fucking burgers. Who the hell does that? It was disgusting. Now we had a still pissed off Sasha to deal with.

“What the hell did you two do?” she asked.

“Uh, Hawk was with us.” I reminded her. Apparently, he was her puppy and could do no wrong.

“Yeah? Hawk, what happened?”

Hawk shrugged his massive shoulders.

“Got me. I didn’t kill anyone or blow anything up. Vinnie was there screwing around but he is your responsibility. What is the problem?”

“The problem is Jake stopped by and apparently saw what he thought was Bella pregnant. He ran off to his kennel and told the other mutts. They have been looking for an excuse to kill Bella and charged the Cullens. Jake got there first and apparently the Clearwater kids and Jake are helping defend Bella with the Cullens and the other pack has them surrounded. Vinnie said he is trying to deescalate the situation but they aren’t listening. Apparently, Sam and Paul are too mad to see reason. I am going to have to kill half the pawns now. I was expecting them to die later! Vampires and wolves don’t just grow on trees!”

“Calm the hell down Sasha. That’s your damn alien. Bella told him not to do it. He didn’t listen. If he dies, we can always just blow up the damn castle.”

“Blow up the damn castle? My plan allows us to kill a hell of a lot more vampires than the ones in the damn castle.”

“Pregnancy is making you a real bitch. Why don’t you chill out? Since when you lose it like this?”

Hawk was either very brave or very dumb. Possibly both. Arial and I slowly stepped away from the big guy so we were not caught in the crossfire.

“I’m sorry.”

What the fuck? I looked at Arial to make sure I actually heard Sasha apologize to Dan. Of course of all of them, he, Arial, Jack and Sasha lived together the longest. They were like a regular family, husband, wife, daughter and really big guard dog who probably wasn’t house trained.

“It’s no problem. I know you are stressing. Want me and the guys to go take care of this? I bet we wouldn’t have to kill more than one wolf to get them to back down.”

“Hell no.” Connolly told them, walking in from the back. “This is a perfect opportunity to see them all in action. Let them fight it out. We can stop it before they actually kill each other if we want.”

Everyone seemed to agree with this, including me. If nothing else it would guarantee time away from them. Plus since we wanted the wolves to think I was inside the Vamp house I would have to stay low, in a bedroom, with Angela, hidden from the world.

The plan for me to stay low worked like a charm until the second day. I woke up that morning to the annoying buzz of my phone on the nightstand.

“Interesting. It’s Jake.” I mumbled. Angela sleepily took a look and declined the call.

“Get back under the covers. It is too damn early.” my girl whined. Before I could, the offending phone buzzed again.

“Oh wait. They are all under siege or something. I forgot about that. I wonder if they got into a big fight and half of them are dead? Maybe Sam and Paul are dead.”

I answered the phone before she could decline the call.

“How many of you are dead and who exactly?” was my greeting.

“None yet Bella but you need to come end this. It is getting ridiculous. The Cullens are too afraid to leave and the damn alien got a call from your aunt and won’t change from your pregnant form. He keeps saying it is a test or something. Emmett tried to force him and the alien turned into some sort of monster.”

“That’s why you don’t fuck with alien shape shifters, dumb ass. Look, why don’t you guys just go fight them?”

“Because people are going to get killed. I had no problem dying to protect you but I am not dying to protect an alien.”

“Go the route your weird friend went. Tell Vinnie to turn into a baby and tell Sam you imprinted on it.”

Angela bit her tongue to keep from laughing out loud. Imprinting on a baby was not funny but when you have had a few drinks, it’s hard to resist the topic of Quill’s gift from the spirits.

“Your witch did away with imprinting, remember? Do you remember? Because in the last year not only have we had newborn vampire armies, we have also dealt with witches and aliens. Does any of this even phase you?”

“No not really. Don’t forget you ate and digested a live deer and had to shit it out in the woods. That had to be a highlight. Oh and you got completely crushed. But by all means focus on Dante’s witch and Sasha’s alien. I wanted to kill you… I mean not you but all the vampires and half the wolves. Sasha brought that freak in so you could all live. Show a little gratitude. As soon as you guys have a little scuffle so we can see if you are all in shape, Vinnie will call the whole thing off I am sure.”

“A scuffle? You want us all to fight?”

“Uh, no. I want Seth inside. If he gets hurt, I am going Carlito’s Way on anyone involved. My pet is not to be touched. He’s a good boy. But yes, get out there and attack. We can stop it before anyone gets seriously hurt.”

Jake didn’t appreciate the beauty of my plan… Connolly’s plan.

“This is cold Bella, even for you. Come over and end this. Show them you aren’t pregnant with a demon child.”

“Impress me and I might Jake. Stand up to Sam for once in your short life.”

“I did stand up to Sam! He tried to alpha order me to kill you and I broke free. Leah and Seth are my pack now. There are two packs Bella! How is that for standing up to Sam?”

“Why didn’t you just fight him and take control over the whole pack? It’s what I would have done. Make them fall in line or fall in a grave.”

“Because….because… I was worried about getting back to you! Pregnant you. I thought you were pregnant. Then when I realized it wasn’t you… damn it Bella, the Cullens are getting hungry. They are going to have to make a run for it soon.”

“So? Since when do you give a damn about the Cullens?”

“Since I needed them for back up! Sam’s pack outnumbers mine. Plus Seth is way too small to fight. I can’t hold them off if the Cullens get chewed up.”

“Pretty sure Jasper and Emmett can handle the wolves. Rose has a real bitch vibe going. Plus Carlisle is as shady as they come. You got a decent team. All you have to do is light a few firecrackers and Paul will run. Why don’t you call Sam out and challenge him for control of both packs? You beat him and the whole thing is over. You are top dog, literally and everyone falls in line.”

“Call Sam out? Do you know what kind of mood he has been in since Emily… since he found out… and the Diner bathroom… and…”

“Fuck Sam. You want this over, call him out and take him out or just give up. We aren’t pulling you out of this one Jake.”

I ended the call and briefly considered going downstairs for coffee until Angela pulled me back under the covers. I forced myself out of bed a few hours later. Both my girls joined me on a run followed by some target practice then over at Jack’s. Jack and the boy band were present, watching a satellite image of the Cullen pad.

“Anybody die yet?” I asked.

Jack shook his head. “Nope. They are just in some kind of standoff. Both sides are afraid to rush the other.”

“It has to end soon. The animal munchers have to be getting hungry right?”

“You would think so.” Sasha agreed. “Dante is there, watching over them. I think he is in one of the treetops. He told us Paul was below him.”

I shook my head. All those great supernatural senses and he is in a tree over Paul. Probably has a gun pointed at his head.

We ate and drank, played cards, watched movies, and nothing. Angela and I slept in her room since Dad had dibs on my house tonight. The next morning, again, nothing. The whole thing was getting pretty boring.

In midafternoon something finally happened. Carlisle, Esme and Emmett made a run for it. It was a near thing but Emmett saved Esme unfortunately and they escaped.

Finally that evening Sasha decided to put plans in motion. A quick call to Vinnie and my favorite alien, sometimes, began screaming that the baby was coming. It was all the wolves needed to attack. Edward actually grew a pair and moved outside with Jasper and Rose, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme were minutes away according to Sasha and Leah went after Sam, seriously letting years of pent up rage loose on him.

“Damn it! Somebody get my puppy out of there! If he is hurt this mission ends and someone is going to pay!”

Seth was trying to fight Paul and he didn’t have a gun.

Too soon the fun was over. Jake moved outside and went doggy, facing Sam head on. The two circled each other but of course neither attacked. One of them might get hurt.

The fun ended when everyone in the yard hit the ground. Dante somehow popped up in the middle of them and I swear he wasn’t there a second ago.

“Okay puppies and fairies. Play time is up. You all should have fought days ago. When the Volturi come, you cannot hesitate or I will let them destroy you.” my favorite guy told them. “Carlisle! Make the call to the Denalis now. Bella wants to apologize to the Jamaican’s woman but will only do it here in private and she must apologize as well. Make it good and make it now.”

Dante tossed the phone to Carlos who stared for a minute. Dante remained impassive, his face colder and unchanging as mine used to be. Carlisle blinked first and dialed the number.

“Tanya? May I speak to Irina?” we heard him say over Dante’s com.

Sasha patted me on the shoulder.

“Dan, keep track of the Denali mansion and let me know when she is moving. Bella, time for you to become a vampire.”