Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Seeing Red

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 19: Making Progress.

Lex Luthor was having difficulty believing what he was hearing. He was one of the richest men in the world. He had the best human technology available, he created much of it himself. He recruited the best in their fields, at least those Bruce Wayne had not poached first. Despite all the money and expertise, he was being told that his men could not open a damn box.

Albeit, a very large box, made of an unknown metal that could not be X rayed.

He had no idea who or what was in the concrete like tomb. Nine-foot-long, six feet wide, it had crashed and sank into the Mariannes Trench from outer space. The man had gone to considerable cot and trouble to recover the object and have it brought to his lab in Metropolis with no digital trace that the blonde alien could find.

“How is it possible that this thing cannot be opened? I see the seams separating the top from the body. It’s a stone of some type, but it has been opened and closed before.”

“The metal does not react to any cutting technique, we have tried. It seems to have been fused by some unknown, very powerful energy source.” his chief engineer told him. “No amount of pressure, no powers source… I doubt Supergirl’s heat vision could cut this thing open. Perhaps whatever is inside, it would be best left on the bottom of the ocean? It could be a weapon, an alien so dangerous it needed to be contained and sent into deep space, or perhaps a source of radiation or viruses. Without knowing what is in it, opening the tomb would be irresponsible, even if we could.”

Lex stared at the man who eventually looked down, intimidated by the billionaire.

“Do not talk to me about irresponsibility. I pay you very well to complete tasks given, not to lecture me on morality. You want to talk about irresponsibility? What about not using every resource we have to protect ourselves if the blonde Kryptonian goddess who has no weakness decided to turn against humanity? Yes, what is in there may be dangerous, but it could also be our salvation. That is why it is important to open it and keep whatever is in it contained, whether it be a threat or not. I don’t want any more excuses. Do not call me again until this tomb is open. I would strongly suggest you not take long.”

The billionaire stormed out, leaving the scientists and engineers less than optimistic. Deciding nothing could be done and to start fresh in the morning, the large holding cell was emptied and locked, lights turned off and building on lockdown.

The cameras never showed the bright red portal opening into the room because there were no cameras for fear that Supergirl could use them. From the portal, Atrocitus stepped out, along with a human male, wearing a red power ring and a suit of red and a black that matched his dark eyes and the midnight black hair on his head.

The large alien walked to the tomb and ran his hand over the top gently, almost lovingly.

“I knew this creature would be important one day, Rankorr. It is much too special to live in deep space, floating forever. A monster from Krypton’s ancient past, discovered and experimented repeatedly by the House of El, each new incarnation experiencing pain, torture destroying any reason, making it the perfect mindless killing machine. Zor El was a genius. The World Killers, this monster, the Medusa Virus, he did it all. It was a waste of a brilliant mind when he went with his people. Jor El was self-centered, only concerned with his own glory. Zor El though, he was zealous in his quest to make creatures capable of protecting the planet. He was also too reckless, sadly. This was one of the results. He made a destroyer instead of a savior and sent it off for other worlds to handle. Not even Zod wanted this one.”

“Please tell me you do not plan to give this thing a ring?” the human asked, a bit humored at his leader’s admiration and terrified at the prospect.

“A Red that cannot learn to control the ring is of no use to me. I need some semblance of a mind wielding the weapon. You know why we are here, who we are here for. Luthor did well. He recovered our little friend secretly as I planned. None of the so-called heroes of this Earth or their militaries know he has it. The power of our rings is the only thing that can open this tomb and break its chains. Once I open it, it will walk this Earth. Then she will be ours.”

Rankorr shook his head slightly and grinned, always enjoying his master’s plans. What Atrocitus wanted, he always got, eventually. The current set back was only temporary. Soon the Red Lanterns would be his again, Gardener dead and the rest of the Reds falling into line.

“What if she cannot stop it? It took thirty-two Green Lanterns to hold it long enough to be chained and imprisoned. You truly think this Kryptonian can defeat the monster her father created?”

Atrocitus laughed, a deep laugh, not with evil intent but amused at how short sighted the general of his splinter group could be.

“Of course Kara Zor El cannot stop it. I have been watching her closely. She has given up her powers and had a red sun crystal planted in her body. Once she sees her friends dying while trying to battle this creature she will rip it out of her body and attack it. Kara is driven by anger, she does not like to lose. The idea of being bested sends her into a rage of which you have never seen. So much power.” Atrocitus told him, almost wistfully and certainly admiring.

If Rankorr didn’t know Atrocitus’ sole purpose in life was revenge he might have thought his leader had a crush on the blonde Kryptonian.

“And when she realizes she cannot defeat him, even fully powered” he continued, “the ring will make its presence known. She will accept it without hesitation because Kara does not like to lose and will not lose loved ones. She is a hero and more importantly a killer. Our little friend will not be able to survive, not while she has the ring combined with her power. Nothing in this universe will ever be as strong as a Kryptonian with our ring under a yellow sun. She will burn her father’s creation to nothing with her ruined blood and then she will be ours, the destroyer of worlds, under my influence and direction.”

“Unless Gardener gets to her first.” Rankorr pointed out. “He has Bleez as his general and she is near. I can feel her. If the four Greens are working with him and the rest of the Reds, they could take her to Ysmault and he would have another powerful member, the most powerful. She could destroy us if she regains any true sense of herself.”

Atrocitus had thought of this, as usual, three steps ahead of his underlings and enemies.

“That is why I control when the creature is set loose. We will be waiting. Even in her mindless, enraged state she will follow my Battery, the maker of the rings. Gardener cannot possibly get her to Ysmault. He and his Reds and the four Greens cannot fight us and contain her at the same time. Who would be able to control her? Not one metahuman on this planet is close to her strength. I have read stories of this world. There was once a race of gods and goddesses, who were powerful, perhaps enough to try and contain her but they are all dead. There are no gods remaining to hold her long enough to keep her from following us, no heroes or Lanterns can control her. She will be ours, following my lead like a dog follows fresh meat. She will do anything for the power in my Battery. Then we burn all the sectors. We finally make our way to Oa and kill the Guardians, deliver the justice they have deserved for eons. Have faith Rankorr. All our enemies will burn and one day, perhaps we can have peace.”

Rankorr looked carefully at his leader, the man he had decided to follow long ago, the one he placed his trust in to deliver vengeance. Rankorr had gotten his vengeance and wanted to burn the rest of the evil from the universe, usher in peace through a righteous rage. He believed in his leader.

“Why do you not open it now?”

Atrocitus was sorely tempted to. He couldn’t though. The time was not right.

“She has too many warring emotions in her. She is suicidal, beaten, broken. Her spirit is destroyed. I do not need that. She would sooner give up and die than take a ring at this time. No, Kara Zor El must become stronger, keep her other emotions in check. We are a Corp, all of us, built on emotion. She loves but she also hates. The two emotions are closely connected. She will become strong in mind but the rage that is in our hearts never truly goes away. Once she is strong again, then will be the time. I have watched that girl since I first learned of her. She is a woman who would take a knife to herself and dig out a crystal if it meant saving her loved ones and killing her enemies who threaten them. Relax Rankorr. Our time is coming and when we unleash the ultimate weapon on the Guardians, justice will be ours.”

Paris, France

“I have to go.”

“No, Steve, whatever it is, I can do it.” she told him, desperately wanting to keep him from danger, from Ares, from every harm. She had turned him away moments before Ares revealed himself. Now he had to leave?

“No, it has to be me. It has to be me. I can save today, you can save the world.” the man told her, leaving her with words of love and his grandfather’s watch. She continued the fight, her heart having left, feeling desperate and at her worst, and as the iron tightened around her body, she saw the explosion and knew the only man who had ever said he loved her was gone.

“Diana?”

Her mother’s voice. She turned and saw the woman who she missed with every part of her being. Her mother who made her feel safe, always so loved. The woman who tucked her under warm blankets at bedtime and always told the best stories.

“Mother.” the woman whispered. “I miss you.”

Hippolyta reached out and touched her daughter’s cheek.

“Why did you leave?”

“I had to. I had to do something, if no one else would. I had to…”

“Fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I know, my darling. You could not stand by while innocent lives were lost. Why have you stopped fighting for those who cannot fight for themselves?”

Diana dropped her gaze to the ground, the cobbled stones lining the roads of Themyscira.

“You were right. They do not deserve our help. I fought him and won but the price was so high. It was supposed to end, but it never did. They will not stop killing themselves. They look to the stars, to young girls for protection and fear them at the same time. They do not deserve us, Mother.”

“Is that truly what you believe?” the woman asked, an indulgent smile on her face, the same one she wore when Diana tried to tell a fib, or did some other mischievous act.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know what I believe in anymore. This world is horrible.”

“But it’s full of love too.” Steve told her, now standing in her mother’s place on a runway in Belgium. “Diana, you can save this world. You can show them a better way. You showed me a better way. When you crossed that battlefield, you showed me what it meant to do something simply because it was right, no matter the risk.”

“I miss you, Steve.” she whispered. “I wish we had more time.”

“Diana? You can save the world. You can save them all. You can save her. You know she will need to be saved, you know it in your heart.” he told her.

Diana did not have to ask who her was. She knew.

“I have been lost for so long. The second war, the deaths, they call it the Holocaust. It was the most horrible thing I had ever heard of. A nation cheered a madman, put him in power and willingly slaughtered hundreds of thousands of innocents. The things men did… Steve, it was as if all love had gone. You were right. It was not one person to blame, not even Ares. It was all of them. Atom bombs, internment camps, gas chambers. The weapons used are not weapons, they are monstrosities. It is too late for them. It is already too late for her.”

Steve caressed her cheek and smiled, his eyes sparkling, those eyes that she often got lost in from the moment she pulled him from the sea.

“It’s about what you believe, Diana, remember? Do you still believe in love?”

Diana squeezed his hand. “Yes.”

“Then go save the world. It’s never too late.”

Steve faded away and Diana reluctantly opened her eyes. She often dreamed of him, of her mother, her sisters, her home she could never return to.

And every time, she woke up alone. Not once in a century of living in the world of men had she taken another love, become close to any real friends, taken part in the events of this world. Instead she observed with a heart that was sickened by what she saw come to pass and faded into the background.

Unable to fall back asleep, she turned on her lamp and walked to the closet in her bedroom. The closet was large, a walk in stocked with many fine clothes, shoes, everything a woman in Paris could want for any occasion.

But her most valuable clothing and accessories were behind a panel in the back. Pressing the hidden release button, the wall opened slowly.

Diana stood in front of her armor, still stained by some smeared mud from the battlefields of Belgium. Her sword hung next to it, the one she had discovered by accident or fate in 1961, her shield on the other side. Clipped to the armor was her lasso and above, on a special shelf encased by glass, was the tiara given to her by her mother, the one her beloved Antiope wore in battle. It had been many decades since these weapons saw war. Her gauntlets, they still seemed to be imbedded with the lightning of the gods she had absorbed. No longer shining, having seen to much violence but the desire to put them on was strong.

She walked out and picked up the phone by the bed, calling the concierge of her building.

“Charles, this is Diana. Yes, it is early….I need a private jet arranged as soon as possible. I have business in the States. I will also be carrying an antique weapon and would prefer not to be bothered by customs any more than necessary. I will leave the papers for the sword with you on my way out. If you could call ahead and cut through any red tape I would be grateful.”

Diana listened to the man tell her he could have it all arranged in two hours and what gate to appear at. Then he asked her destination.

That was the question.

“I want to arrive at Louisville International in Kentucky. Arrange a hotel for three weeks. Thank you, Charles.”

Looking at herself in the mirror one last time, she shook her head.

“Damn you, Bruce Wayne.”

The Block

Nyssa grinned as she emerged from the woods, happy to see Kara’s very attractive guard dog. This time would perhaps be different. The short haired brunette stood in front of the cabin waiting for her, dressed in her seemingly always black clothes but with her arms crossed and a grin on her face as well.

“Lovely to see you again, Alex. Shall we get the preliminaries over with?” the woman asked.

“Preliminaries?”

“This is the first time we have spoken without weapons of some sort, so I assumed verbal warnings will have to suffice. I apologize for my delay in returning. I had urgent business that needed to be taken care of.”

Alex smiled and shook her head. “Urgent business, huh? So, when is this urgent business’s funeral?”

“There was no funeral. Your bounty hunter friend took care of Star City’s threat. I was involved in business negotiations of a sensitive sort. How is she?”

“Better.” Alex told her. “She is done. She is done with it all.”

Nyssa nodded her head, expecting as much. She had been expecting this since Kara decided to voluntarily stay in Bruce Wayne’s prison. Though she had never come into direct conflict with Batman, they had a mutual respect for the other even, but they were not what she would call friends. Nyssa did not have many friends. She had followers and one friend.

“I am as well.” the assassin told Alex, shocking the woman. “I have disbanded the League, released all oaths. Talia now has the ring of Rha’s al Ghul. Those who wished to leave have left, those who wished to stay joined her. She has sworn a blood oath to never attack your family or myself. That was the agreement. Oh, I also kept all the funds the League had acquired over the centuries. I consider that an early retirement settlement.”

“Why? I thought you wanted that title, you…”

“I knew your sister would be starting a new life, one without the burdens of this world. The longer I thought on it, the more appealing the idea became. I want to try something new as well. Live a life without war, violence, always carrying weapons, expecting an attack from any quarter.”

Alex briefly looked over her, dressed much more casual than the fine clothes she wore when the two first met and the assassins robes she wore at their second meeting. Instead she wore blue jeans, stiletto boots under them and a simple Burgundy top, short sleeved due to the heat.

“You have a dagger attached to your left calve and I am betting those boots have a retractable blade to go along with the stiletto heels that can take an eye out.”

The woman shrugged her shoulders. “If one desires to live in peace, they must be prepared to go to war at a moment’s notice. A woman needs to defend herself in the violent world we live in. Regardless, is Kara allowed out to play?”

“You don’t want to go inside?”

Nyssa laughed. “Trapped in Bruce Wayne’s prison with no way out on my own? I said I retired, I never said I became an idiot.”

Alex admitted to herself that she had a point. If she were in Nyssa’s shoes there is no way she would go into the Block without an escape plan.

“Please don’t give her anything to worry about. She had a rough day yesterday and has therapy she isn’t looking forward to in a couple hours.”

Nyssa shook her head, not surprised. The more self-reflection, the worse Kara always felt.

“I need to tell her about the League, or you can. It affects her. She should not have to worry about it any longer.”

“Fine.” Alex agreed grudgingly. It would do some good, perhaps let Kara feel she was not letting down her only friend. That is, if Nyssa was telling the truth. Alex felt she was good at discerning truth from lies and did not feel the woman was lying.

Kara came up with Alex a few minutes later, rushing to the former assassin and hugging her with one arm, tightly. Alex was stunned once again. She believed they were friends but had no idea that Kara had voluntarily formed a close bond with someone outside the family.

“Shhh, it will be okay.” Nyssa whispered to her. “You look better already. You are safe.”

Kara nodded her head and pulled from Nyssa’s hold.

“I’m sorry, but I’m done.” she told her quietly.

“I know. So am I. The League is over, we are safe, oaths have been exchanged. It is over. We got justice for Sara, justice for the victims of the Undertaking. We completed what we set out to do together. Now it is time to move on.”

Kara was more surprised than Alex. The League had been Nyssa’s life, the one thing in the world she felt passionate about after Sara was gone. She grew up in that culture, everything she knew was from Nanda Parbat.

Of course, Kara had made a new life when her world ended. Perhaps Nyssa was following her example.

“What are you going to do now?”

Nyssa looked her in the eyes, face as unmoving as stone.

“I’m considering starting a life insurance agency, see how the other half lives.”

Kara couldn’t hold in her laughter, shocking Alex once again who had been watching the two from the cabin.

“Listen, I think it’s great, but I don’t want to lose you from my life.” she told her, her laughter gone and anxiety in its place.

“You will never lose me. Our oaths to each other had nothing to do with the League. They never did. I will always be in your life. Besides… your sister is hot and finally single.”

Kara shook her head and smiled. “You are going to seduce my big sister. I knew you kept me around for some reason. Are you sure you are ready to move on, Nyssa?”

The woman did not have to wonder what Kara was talking about. Had she moved on?

“She would want me to. I loved her and swore a blood oath to avenge her. I have fulfilled my oath. It is time to move on, for both of us. Speaking of moving on, I understand a man in red leather has visited you a few times? Judging by the sling and bandage I suppose the operation that started your retirement plan began early? Was he here for it? Does he know?”

Kara wondered for a second how she knew Barry Allen was visiting her then disregarded it. No matter what, no matter how far away, Nyssa would have had someone watching her back. Now they had to watch each other’s back.

“Yeah, he was here. He has been here a few times. It’s been… nice.”

“Only nice?” Nyssa asked with a knowing wink.

“Yeah, maybe more, okay more but… I’m moving back to Midvale. He isn’t going to leave Central City. I want to get away from that world and he is very involved in it. How am I supposed… what could possibly change…”?

“Follow your heart and the rest will work itself out. Fate cannot be outran. Besides, perhaps the running from Central City to Midvale may cause him to become faster. The exercise can never hurt. Are you ever going to tell me how you know the Flash and why you became so uncharacteristically infatuated with him in a brief time?”

Kara shook her head. “I’ll ask him to meet you but it’s not my secret to tell.”

Nyssa touched her cheek gently, not surprised by the loyalty she showed. If there was one thing she knew for certain, it was that Kara was loyal to those who she held dear and a nightmare to those against them.

“I am sure Barry Allen appreciates your discretion.”

Kara was surprised for a second then laughed. It was known the Flash worked with the Arrow in the past. Nyssa found out everything about Oliver. It shouldn’t have surprised her that she knew probably everything about the Flash, down to his home address.

“Keeping secrets from you is impossible, isn’t it?”

“Now you are finally learning Al Malek. I shall go. I understand you have a meeting shortly and you need your rest. I will keep in constant contact with your sister and ask her about you occasionally. You always know how to contact me. I will be back next week, and perhaps we can have dinner on the table inside the poorly conceived cabin. It would beat the mountains where we had our last picnic. Goodbye Kara.”

“See ya soon, Nyssa. Watch your back.”

“Always. I’ll keep an eye on your sister’s back as well.” Nyssa winked at Alex who was still watching from the window and strolled away, blending into the woods.

Alex walked up to her sister, who had a genuine smile on her face. She would be finding out more about this relationship. She had a feeling the two had a friendship that was based on more than killing Malcolm Merlyn. Kara hadn’t acted at ease with a female like that since Lena Luthor.

“How did she even make it here, in those boots? The nearest road is at least thirty minutes away by car. Bruce has to fly in.”

Kara shook her head. “She finds her way. She always has. I suppose I should get ready for therapy. Maybe you should walk her out and you could find out for yourself.”

Alex caught the mischievous look in her eyes. “I’m sure she is a big girl and can handle herself. Let’s get you back inside. I promised Clark X Box back up. He has been taking it well, all things considered. I was talking to Mom this morning about maybe letting him go to Connolly’s for a weekend, just to get some fresh air and beach time. What do you think?”

“I’ll talk him into it.” Kara assured her. He had been doing well with the information dumped on him. Yes, he had been sad, contemplative, and sullen for the next couple of days but shook it off, telling Kara it did not matter before bed one night. Whether that was true remained to be seen and she would be watching him closely. The last thing Kara ever wanted was for him to bottle up things inside until they destroyed him.

An hour later she found herself in a familiar uncomfortable chair, facing the woman who pried secrets from her robot the day before.

“So, how do you feel about what we learned yesterday?” Leslie started.

” Yes, I’m well today. Thank you so much for asking. My friend Nyssa dropped by. Yes, the stitches itch but I am getting used to it. I ate breakfast this morning and did not feel like vomiting immediately afterwards. Since you asked me so nicely, how has your day been?”

Thompkins sat back and took in her charge. Kara had a playfulness to her today. Perhaps she would begin to open up more or hide behind massive walls made of sarcasm and bullshit. Either way, things were about to get intense.

“I apologize, princess. I’m glad you have had a great morning Mine has sucked. I moved around six appointments today to hang out in a hole in the ground with a sarcastic brat. Now that the niceties have been taken care of, are you going to answer my question?”

“Yes I am. I am confused. I am very confused.” Kara admitted. “I have spent over a decade hating a woman for all the wrong reasons. A woman who wanted… I don’t know, okay? I have sat up all night, thinking about nothing but this. I feel horrible, but I also feel like I didn’t know her at all. I thought I knew a little but, there was this whole other side to the story, to her. She threatened to kill Zor El for me, so I know he must have hated me. I still have so many questions and I will never get answers.”

“You know more than you did.” Leslie pointed out. “How do you feel about the information you learned?”

“Ashamed.” Kara admitted. “Ashamed of the times I cursed her, ashamed of what she would think if she knew what I had become, where I am now. I feel a lot of shame.”

“You don’t think she would be proud? Proud of who you are?” Leslie pushed.

“Proud of who I am? Look at where I am. She would be crying, never talk to me again, she would hate me, hate herself…”

“Bullshit.”

Kara was caught off guard by that astute opinion.

“Why would you… look at where I am, what I am!”

“You are just like her and Eliza. Want to hear my opinion? You are going to get it anyway so nod your head… good girl. Your mother threatened to murder her own husband and frame her brother in law to protect you. She blackmailed, she broke laws, she did whatever it took to protect you. When Eliza first met that crew that runs the DEO, I understand she pulled a rifle and threatened to kill them if they tried to harm you or your little brother. She meant it. She threatened to kill Astra over the phone for hurting you, stood in front of Clark when that woman attacked them. You have had two mothers in your life and they are both women who would break any law, destroy any threat to their children. You are the same. I bet she would be pretty damn proud of the way you turned out to be.”

Kara looked at her doubtfully.

“Okay, she would probably be mad about the drinking, the casual sex, the drug use, the self-harm, suicide attempts…” Leslie amended.

“I get it!”

“But she would be proud of you I think. Eliza is. Yeah, you scare the hell out of her, give here grey hair that she colors but she is proud of you. She sees what they all see, your sister and brother, your father. No matter your faults you are just like your mothers. You would and have killed anyone who tries to hurt your family. No matter what else has gone on in your life, what issues you had, that has always been your driving force. You killed your aunt, never hesitated because you knew she was a threat to your family. Sounds like you took after Eliza and Alura. That’s an honorable trait to have. So maybe start thinking of some positives about yourself instead of focusing on the negatives.”

Kara said nothing for a moment, thinking of what she had said. It was true, the first time they met Connolly and Jon, Eliza did have a rifle she had dug out of the attack and was prepared to kill them if they tried to take her and Clark. Maybe Zor El was disappointed in her, maybe never wanted her, but Alura did. Eliza did threaten Astra over the phone when her aunt said Kara was her daughter.

“It’s hard to focus on the positives in a place like this.” she finally said.

“Really? You have a personal billion-dollar private hospital that is harder to get into than the Pentagon, built for you by a guy who isn’t trying to sleep with you. Bruce obviously thinks a lot of you. This whole place is a testament to what he thinks you are worth, and he doesn’t even want you fighting crime anymore. Get it together, Danvers. I’m not going to praise you all afternoon. Come up with some positives about yourself. Tell me. I’ll let you know if you are wrong.”

Kara rolled her eyes, not doubting a bit that Leslie would tell her when she was wrong.

“I… I have saved a lot of children, people I mean, I guess.”

“Why?”

Kara looked sharply at the therapist, not exactly sure what the right answer would be.

“Don’t do that. Stop thinking about what I want to hear and say the truth, even if it doesn’t make sense to you.”

“I don’t want people hurt. Not innocents, not people who are just trying to live their lives. My mother could have turned them all in, the whole house. Kryptonians could have had time to prepare, to leave the planet.”

“And what would have happened to you?”

The blonde sat back, not having a clue. She hadn’t been a party to it but…

“Let me take a stab.” Thompkins offered. “Your entire house would have been sent to this ghost place and you would have been pushed off on some other family who wouldn’t want you since you belonged to a disgraced family who destroyed the planet. You would have never survived.”

“Maybe.” Kara admitted.

“So, tell me, what if you had a chance to save the world but to do it you had to kill Alex. What would you do?”

For a moment, Kara forgot her eyes could not burn any longer, so the power she normally felt that was absent took her off guard.

“Answer… the… question.”

“I take Alex, my family and we leave. To hell with the rest of the world. I take care of mine first. I always have, and I always will. They are mine.”

Leslie folded her arms and smiled, satisfied with the answer. “Kid, if you can keep being that honest, we may get somewhere. So, you and your family, they got that in common, both your families. You all believe in family first. Alura didn’t believe in family though, she believed in you. What else do you have to say that would make her proud?”

“Make her proud?” the girl asked, a bit confused. She was supposed to think of positive things about herself, but that didn’t mean Alura would be proud. “Uh… I visit sick children and the symbol makes money for this charity…”

“Damn it, girl, it’s like pulling a horse to a slaughterhouse with you. I’ve read your press releases. I know what you have done. I want to know you. You are loyal to those you love. You put them above all else. What else?”

“I… I love my cat?”

“Wonderful. Tells us nothing. Everybody loves a cat or dog or birds or cars, so don’t go there next. What makes you special? What is it that you think others would say about you, those who know you?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing good.”

“Then why the hell are we here? Obviously, they think a lot about you if everybody has stopped their lives to make the effort to save your life.”

“That’s all, I’m loyal. I tried to be good, I did. I just can’t… it’s too much! The ghosts and the voices and that woman’s face when she looked at her baby. I had just lost everything, and I was so scared all the time and I could have saved her and I didn’t! I never tried to save Astra, not really! I knew, I always knew she would never leave my family alone. I learned how to snap a neck when I was 16 years old and do you know the first thought I had? If she misses with a right and I sweep her leg, I can get her in this position and she would be defenseless. I knew then, I fought those battles in my head all the time and every single time it ended with me breaking her neck. When I fought her, I knew how it would go, I planned it. I may have been defending my family, but if I found her alone and they were nowhere around, I would have killed her anyway!”

“It haunts you, doesn’t it?” Leslie goaded. “But you know it isn’t your fault, Kara. You are just holding on to it, to everything, punishing yourself. Your aunt died when she killed her first human because Kara Danvers was not going to let that stand. You protected the world from her, even though it cost you so much, you never doubted. You couldn’t have saved that woman and the baby and even if you could you would have endangered your family. You never had a chance and you know it isn’t your fault, but you use it to punish yourself. All those years they let you visit that cemetery, it was just another type of self-harm and they never realized it.”

“I could have…”

“How? Give me one reasonable scenario over the years you have been holding on to this, that can tell me how you could have saved them without exposing your family. To hell with that, give me a way you could have saved them at all. There was gasoline and a power line and the whole thing happened in seconds. I got news for you kid, you aren’t that fast, and you are not a god. You sure as hell weren’t when you were 13. You couldn’t have saved them, you never had a chance. People die, and the sad thing is, you know it. You know you can’t stop it all. You just use it to punish yourself, as sure as you burned your arms and broke your fingers, it was just another tool.”

“I… know, okay? I get it” Kara shouted. “I got it when I was… after my last attempt… I know. But I just want my world, my perfect world. One where people can be happy and others like Lex Luthor and Jor El don’t take advantage, put themselves above people. I want them gone from my world.”

Leslie shook her head, pushing, exhilarated that she was making progress and frightened that she could light the switch on a stack of dynamite.

“The world isn’t perfect. Never has been close. You aren’t perfect, and your family isn’t perfect. Clark is too cocky, nosy and spoiled. Kid doesn’t know the meaning of the word privacy. Eliza is extremely overprotective, she has enabled you, just as much as Alex has. They let you get away with this crap for too long because they treated you like some porcelain doll. Alex is a genius, she could use her brain to change the world, but she works with you instead. She wants to watch your back, but she also loves the fight. She lives for it. You giving up this hero game is going to save her as well, whether either of you know it or not. Don’t get me started on your Dad.”

“What about my Dad?” Kara asked, quickly, tensing for a fight.

“He babies you. He gives into your every wish. He is scared to confront you because you might get upset and he thinks it would be his fault if you did something to yourself. He punishes himself for the things you have done to yourself almost as much as you punish yourself for things that you couldn’t change. It is a bloody miracle all of them finally got it together and did the tough thing. You should have been brought here long ago. If you had died, would it have been their fault?”

“No, it wouldn’t. I would watch how you talk about them.” Kara told her quietly, her free hand clenching and considering taking off her sling now.

“Why? If it’s your fault that everything bad happens in the world, why isn’t it theirs if something bad happens to you? You can give me that murderous gaze that I am sure is the last thing a lot of aliens have ever saw. You can kill me a dozen ways, without your powers. But what I am saying is still going to be true, Kara.”

Kara stood up.

“Go ahead. Hurt me, hit me, kill me.” Leslie baited her, leaning back and crossing her legs, casually. “I’m old and have arthritis. You would be doing me a favor.”

Kara stood still, every muscle tense, trying to calm down.

“That’s what I thought. You won’t touch me because you are a good person. I haven’t threatened anyone, I would never hurt your family. That’s who you are. You aren’t Astra, you aren’t Henshaw and you aren’t Luthor. You would never touch an innocent. You are just like both your mothers and I think they are pretty good people. Sit down before you pop your stitches.”

Kara looked around the room, and stared hard at the door. A large part of her wanted to storm out. Jessica never pushed Kara this hard because she knew Kara would just leave.

She wanted to leave, show this Dr. Thompkins that she was in control.

Instead she sat because a loud voice in her head was telling her she lost control a long time ago.

“Now are you ready to get back to work? Same assignment. Give me something else, something good about you.”

Kara took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair.

“I’m very smart and I love to fix things. Anything really. It makes me feel good to make something beautiful again.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to be beautiful again.” the blonde admitted with no hesitation.

Finally, she was getting it, Leslie thought.

“Good. C’mon, let’s go. We have a lot to do. Tell me more.”

So, Kara did for the next three hours.

Central City

It had been two weeks since Kara’s surgery. Barry had returned the following weekend and the two spent Saturday talking, about nothing at times and everything at others. She never asked about metahumans, or aliens, or anything else superhero related.

Kara had also told him about the information she found out about her mother, Alura.

He expected anyone would be ecstatic to hear that information, but Kara did not seem to be. She appeared as if she was in deep thought all weekend, even when watching television. On further thought he supposed information like that could affect everyone differently and Kara was definitely different.

She did appear as if a weight had been lifted somewhat. She smiled a lot more, picked on Clark a lot and made Barry play Dance Revolution with her and Alex until she became tired and fell asleep.

Kara slept a lot that weekend. Alex assured him it was just the medication and would ease off as the dosages were correct. According to the big sister, Kara had made more progress since the time she found out about her mother, than she had in ten years of therapy.

The Flash suspected her therapist might have had something to do with that. Alex told him there were often raised voices in the room, from both but she came out feeling better each time. Kara was also participating with the substance abuse counselor apparently without any voices being raised.

The search for a brave PTSD counselor was unsuccessful and Dr. Thompkins decided that she would have to handle that area.

Supergirl had all but disappeared. J’onn had been seen flying around as her less and less and began assisting the police in his green form, leading Cat Grant and Lois Lane to publish stories about the new green hero. While he did not interact with the public, thinking children may not be as excited to see a very tall, green Martian greeting them in parks and on the streets, he was being slowly accepted by the National City police. He had stopped in Gotham once and Metropolis twice.

It had already begun though. Whispers, questions on the news shows and talk shows, all focusing on one topic. Where had Supergirl gone? Many cults were breaking up, a few outspoken, stating that she had tired of humanity’s violence and greed. Only a handful of people knew the Girl of Steel was in an underground, high security hospital and had no plans to ever return to the public spotlight.

On his way to Kentucky, battered and bruised and carrying clothes in a backpack that would hide those bruises from Kara, he was called by Cisco and had to deviate from his normal path across country and make a stop at S.T.A.R.

Skidding into the lab, he was somehow not surprised to find Joe and Iris waiting along with Cisco.

“What’s going on?” he asked, wanting to take care of this and get to Kara.

“Why don’t you tell us? Nice new suit, buddy,” Cisco noted. “I’ve seen that material before. It’s the latest fashion trend from Krypton, right?”

Barry expected this would happen eventually. He had not been in Central City in weeks, received calls from Joe, Cisco and Iris and given vague answers as to his whereabouts and activities.

“You called me to Central City to ask me about a suit?”

The suit was not that different, basically the same design with lightning bolts across the belt line, down his arms and legs and on the ears of his mask. It had been given to him by Connolly the Monday before along with boots that could change grips on different surfaces, like the manner Kara’s had done. The technology she had was amazing.

“We called you to find out what the hell is going on with you. Does the Flash still protect Central City?” Joe asked.

“Do the police?” Barry countered. “I am receiving training on alien threats from specialists in National City. I’ve been working with them on different strategies to defeat them. That’s all I am going to say. I told you if a metahuman shows up in Central City, I will be here.”

Joe noted the tense look on his foster son’s face. Barry rarely got angry, but things had changed, his father’s death and his obvious associations with the now missing Supergirl.

“What is wrong with the old way of taking care of alien threats? Supergirl flies in and beats them to death out of sight? Or does she burn them? Maybe she gives them to her giant friend on the bike who killed Damian Darhk in front of the Star City police and then walked away laughing? Or can Batman and Nightwing no longer handle it? What about her…”

“What about you mind your own business, Joe.” Barry snapped. “The dangers of this world are bigger than bank robbers in Central City. I’ve stopped so many crimes here only metas are stupid enough to try anything and they haven’t been around. The last time I checked, I wasn’t paid by Central City for being the Flash. I don’t have regular shifts where I am obligated to patrol Central City. As far as Kara, or any of her friends, stay the hell out of it.”

Iris nearly panicked, almost walked out, not wanting to witness a fight between her father and Barry. She had only shown up to calm them both down in the event of an argument, but this one may be out of her league. Barry’s face was turning red, a sure sign that he was becoming very angry. It didn’t happen often, so it wasn’t difficult to catch it when it did happen.

“Let’s all stay calm.” she tried. “Dad, Barry is right. He is an adult and isn’t responsible for all the crime in the city. Barry, Dad is just concerned…”

“That you seem more comfortable with murderous aliens than you do with the team you started with. Caitlin is wrapped up in this now as well.” Joe interrupted. “Ever since Supergirl and her vigilante friends showed up at S.T.A.R. you haven’t been the same. I get that you have a crush on her, but she isn’t exactly what she seems, is she?”

Barry stared a moment at Joe, using the breathing exercises he had learned from Jessica and realizing that she was right. He and Joe would have to have a serious talk one day, but not when he was angry.

Still it would prove too difficult right now to control his temper. Years of repressing his feelings were on the verge of breaking out of him.

“I owe you a lot, Joe. You have done a lot for me, I wouldn’t have the life I have now if it weren’t for you. But I am sick of your doubts. I won’t take it anymore.”

The man’s eyes widened, the shock on his face very evident. “What are you talking about?”

“Even after Supergirl came out to the world and everyone knew about aliens, you still refused to even consider that I could have been right, that my Dad could have been innocent. You still didn’t believe me. When I started this, I told you that Mardon was still alive you told me it was my imagination. When I started being the Flash, you told me I wasn’t a hero, just some kid that got struck by lightning. I have had to prove myself to you, time and time again. I am tired of proving myself to you. What I am doing is none of your business. If I keep secrets from you, it’s for your own good. You can understand that. He can, right Iris? Didn’t he tell you that keeping information from you on your mother was for your own good?”

Iris looked away, beginning to walk to the back of the room. Yes, she knew her dad kept a huge secret from her about her mother, for her own good supposedly. She had forgiven him but nothing Barry said was untrue.

“I love you, Joe. Cisco, you are one of my best friends. Only Iris knows more about me than you do. That will never change, but my activities are none of either of your concerns. Cisco, you locked me up when I wanted to race Zoom and save Joe. None of you had faith in me but Wally who knew me the least. I’ve gotten over it for the most part, but it still sticks with me. I kept it inside because I didn’t want to lose anyone else but my days of answering to everyone around me are over. Never talk about murderers, Joe. Damian Darhk would have escaped and followed through with his plan. He had launch codes for the nuclear missiles arsenal of the US and planned to use them.”

Barry began pacing, rubbing his hair and trying to remain calm.

“I also noticed you didn’t hesitate to accept Oliver’s help when I was hit by Bivolo. You spent a week, sat down with Thawne and told me he was a bad influence but the moment you needed him, he was there.”

Joe turned to Cisco, who was as speechless as he was. Barry had never said these things, would never say these things, they thought. Was it his father’s death, Supergirl’s influence or both? Or maybe he was just saying what he had wanted to say for a long time. Joe could not deny that he had made mistakes but never realized how much Barry still held on to them.

Barry was beginning to realize this would not be a conversation. Neither his foster father or best friend had anything to say.

“Iris?” he finally asked, seeing her in the back with her arms crossed and an indecipherable look on her face.

“I think you have to follow your path, wherever that leads Barry. I’ll back you. I know you aren’t taking a vacation in National City. Whatever you are doing is important. I know Caitlin wasn’t forced to go anywhere, she volunteered, and I am betting Bruce Wayne asked her. You had no idea when Cisco told you. Whatever you need to do, I back you. I lost faith in you once, I didn’t think you could beat Zoom. I won’t make that mistake again.”

Barry let out a breath, feeling relieved that at least Iris still trusted him to make decisions for himself.

“Thank you, Iris. I need to go. I have somewhere important to be. Cisco, I am not trying to replace the suit you made me. I need this suit right now because of some training I am undergoing. I get… shot a lot and it has amazing body armor. It’s a long story, one I will tell you all one day, but I don’t have time now. I really need to go.”

Barry zoomed out, leaving the three standing, speechless. Iris finally broke the silence as she walked out.

“That went well. You were right, Dad. You said you were going to demand answers and you got them. You always do. Did you like the answers you got?”

When Barry arrived at the Block an hour later, he still had the conversation on his mind. The man had never realized how much anger he still had in him. He thought he had worked it out after Bivolo but his father’s death and the events leading up to it and after it, brought all those feelings back. He had hoped to have a calm conversation with Joe, but as he often did, when Joe decided he wanted answers he didn’t like to wait.

Changing into the clothes he brought, glad for the cool day, so he wouldn’t look awkward in long sleeves that covered his bruises that were still healing.

Alex was up a few minutes later as usual. She asked him to place his own palm on the reader next to the elevator. He saw a light scan his palm and then the door opened.

“Now you have access. I’m getting tired of having to let you in all the time.” she told him. “There is something you need to know before you see her. She has been doing well but we found a side effect of the medication, either the antipsychotic or the antidepressant, we aren’t sure. She told Caitlin a story this morning about the first time she lost a tooth. She and I set a trap for the tooth fairy and Mom walked into it, got caught up in a fishing net.”

Barry grinned, imagining a young Kara and Alex doing something like that.

“So… what’s the problem?”

“It never happened. When Kara was 18, she was attacked by an alien parasite that was able to manipulate her mind. These parasites, they put their victim into this perfect world and feed off the positive brain waves until brain death occurs. I had to go into her head, using some tech from the Fort. It was so real, you would never be able to tell the difference. The feeling of the sun, the grass, the smells, I thought I had been teleported somehow to Midvale.”

“She was in Midvale? Her perfect world?”

Alex met his eyes and he saw they were shining with unshed tears. “I found her on the beach with all of us… she was 13 and in her world, she wasn’t an alien, Krypton had never existed… she was just a human kid who belonged to our parents, had been born here, so had Clark. She did human things, was clumsy, got sunburned, wasn’t afraid to sing in front of people or be seen in public without glasses.”

“That must have been tough to… how did you save her?” he asked, trying to wrap his head around that and making a note to ask Connolly or Webb about this creature.

“I had to convince her that her perfect world wasn’t real. I had to remind her of her reality. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. She wanted to stay there so badly and then her arms… ” Alex stopped not wanting to remember that scene. She wiped her eyes and sniffed, trying to look strong.

“The problem wasn’t just the world, it was everything. She had a whole life of memories placed in her head, really good memories. She wasn’t on Earth when she lost any of her teeth. Kara has never had a difficult time before, she has always known those memories aren’t real. But now…”

“Now they are becoming jumbled together as the medication is building up and affecting her mind.” he guessed.

Alex’s worried face was all the answer he needed.

“Caitlin, Shay, they are working on it. I just wanted to give you a heads up, in case she says anything strange, don’t mention it. I don’t want her distressed. She has been doing well these past two weeks. I mean that. She has been in such a good mood, she is laughing and starting exercises now that her stitches are out. I am afraid this could be another setback.”

Barry shook his head.

“It won’t be, Alex. She is going to be okay. You said she is getting better and she will continue to get better. Caitlin will figure this out. If there is one person I would trust anyone’s life with, it is Caitlin Snow. How is everything else?”

“A lot better.” the brunette admitted. “Barry… I’m really glad you are here. You have no idea how much just coming to see her is helping. Its helping me out too, all of us, especially Clark. He will never admit it but he looks up to you. Thanks, for everything.”

“I’m not going to leave her, Alex. I’m not going to be scared away. You never have to thank me. I’ll always be here.”