Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Venom

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 36:

Bella POV

“What are you talking about? Why are you here? Please just leave me alone.”

I have been frightened many times in my life. But not once was I ever as frightened as I was right now at this moment.

“You really shouldn’t be so scared. I can’t harm you. I can influence but I cannot interfere. Now you need to relax. Are you sure you don’t want to see your cowboy friend again?”

“Please no.” I begged.

“Have a seat.”

I looked at a rock and backed up. Backed into a seat behind me. There were no sounds. No wind. No bugs chirping in the night.

I slowly sat down on the chair. Metal flowed over my face. It was slowly covering every inch of my body, head included. I felt the strands wrapping into my hair.

“Does your toy think it could stop me? How cute. Father’s toys are so optimistic.”

“Toys?” I asked, despite my fear.

“Yes. He thought my gift to the world was unfair. I argued that it was not. A good soul could have found it as easily as Irkalla. Venom does not make the soul evil. Souls do not need any extra help getting there. Not to say I wasn’t delighted with Irkalla. But dear old Dad thought the world needed a chance. So he provided an antidote to my poison. A balancing force. If only one of mine could have found it first. Of course your friend Ursulla had to find it first. I admit though, it has been entertaining over the years. Vampires and witches with humans being completely blind to what was going on around them. But you and Irkalla changed that. Now life is going to get very interesting. I honestly haven’t had this much fun watching the human race since the bomb dropped in Japan.”

“You’re sick.” I whispered.

“Of course. But so are you Bella. We have so much in common. I understand you.”

“I am not evil.” I said defensively. I knew evil. It was staring me in the face. All I wanted was to get away but I had a feeling I couldn’t if I tried.

“Perhaps not. But we were both abandoned by our fathers. Let’s start with that.”

“I was not…”

“I was kicked into the lower realm for having an opinion. He gives you free will but you better be careful what you do with it. All of creation. The living world, the spirit world, and where does he place me? The void. Darkness. Not to worry though. I have livened the place up a bit. Let’s talk about those who abandoned you.”

I said nothing. I would not converse with him.

“First Daddy. His little Bells. You were so angry the longer you stayed in Forks. Your father gave you up for that place. It wasn’t even a cute little village. A dump. A depressing rain soaked dump.”

Do not talk to him Bella.

“Your mother had to restrain herself from leaping for joy when you volunteered to leave. Did you know she was afraid of her husband being attracted to you? Very jealous, that one. You were smarter, younger and slightly prettier. Perhaps not. Depends on your tastes I suppose. For my money I would have taken you, even with that casual plain girl next door look you had going on.”

“You lie.” I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“You wish. I am an ancient being. An angel. I have taken the time to come see you. Why would I lie? Do you see my Father? He hasn’t bothered to see you. Take the bracelet, if you want to live, kill vampires, lose friends, and give up your life. Be beaten to hell. Called a whore. Let’s throw a baby on top of it. You heard from him? Sure you heard from the Indian. But where is God? I’m here in person, Bella. Show a little respect girl.”

“Stop. I want to leave. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Then shut up and listen. I may not be able to harm you but you will sit and listen. Who is next? Good ole boy Chris. You were a poor replacement for his wife. He could have stayed alive. A vampire. Vampires are helping you now. He didn’t want that. He begged you to kill him. So you did. At least you were going to before Daddy decided to take out the one man who reminded him of what a failure he was as a father. Does Chris wait for you? Does he stay in the Spirit World to offer you guidance? Visit you on Earth? Nope. Hauled his hillbilly ass straight to the higher plane. He got the real thing back. His witch. He didn’t need you anymore. Good luck kid. Happy trails.”

The metal on my face wouldn’t allow the tears to flow. They pooled in my eyes. I had to wipe my eyes. I didn’t want to show weakness but I needed to see.

“Don’t be sad Bella. On second thought what’s not to be sad about? Your mother abandoned you twice. You nearly killed her. You wanted to. I know the evil that lurks in men and women’s hearts. You wanted to fry her with a bolt of lightning from the sky. Had people not been watching, you would have. All that repressed rage built up. Years of feeling insecure and unloved, rushing out in an instant.”

“I wouldn’t have hurt her.” Stop talking Bella.

“Sure. You can’t lie to the Devil, kid. I don’t understand why you were so angry. You had a terrific childhood. You want to see some bad childhoods, kid I could show you some things. You weren’t beaten, starved, burned, molested, or raped. You were ignored. A shame but not that bad in the grand scheme of things. But you always have been a poor me sort of soul.”

I tried to stand up. I was afraid but I seriously wanted to fuck him up right now.

“I never said my childhood was bad.”

Damn it. I couldn’t stand up.

“Then puberty. You were always so horny and frustrated. Puberty hit you like a freight train. You get that from your mother if you were wondering. She is a nymphomaniac as well. Hope Jake can keep up. I wonder if you will lose interest one day and try a different flavor. Your mother certainly did. Many, many flavors. But there is one major difference between you and your mother. She would fuck anybody. You always wanted the guy you couldn’t have. The men you were attracted to were above your pay grade. Let’s face it, you were a pretty girl but not the homecoming queen.”

“Why are you here?” I asked, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“I particularly enjoyed that one party you went to in Phoenix your sophomore year. Todd McShay. Remember? He was dared by a friend to fuck you in a very adult version of truth or dare. He turned it down. Said he wanted a beer and quit the game. Took Stacy in the back of his car thirty minutes later. She was a cheerleader. You told your friends you never would have done it but you were so ready. You were crushed when he turned you down. That Mike kid wanted to fuck you in Forks but what did you do? In typical Bella fashion you went after the one guy who should have been out of your league. But you had the scent of your blood and the silence of your mind going for you.”

“Why are you here?!”

“Jake wasn’t good enough until he turned into a hot werewolf. Now though you are gorgeous. Daddy’s gift made sure of that. Now you can have any man you want. You like teasing them, don’t you Bella? Rolling around on the ground with the boys while Jake was gone. Making those poor hormonal teenagers want you so badly they can barely hide their thoughts from your top dog. Wearing those tight leather clothes. You are so much like your mother now it is amazing even to me. A natural born prick tease.”

“I want to leave.” I practically begged.

“Too damn bad. I’m not done with you yet. I doubt after this we will ever get a chance to see each other again. Or perhaps we will. You see I want to make you an offer. If you accept the offer I will give you something you have never had before. A guarantee that I will not abandon you. Ever.”

“You will never talk me out of going after Irkalla.”

He laughed. His laugh… made me want to die.

“I don’t want you to stop going after Irkalla. Where would the fun in that be? Irkalla is strong. But if you survive Bella what then? You will have children. Love them. Watch them grow old and die. How will you stay in their lives? The worst thing in the world is for a parent to outlive a child. You will outlive them all.”

“There is more to this world. You of all things know this.” I countered.

“True. But Bella you plan to live in hiding? Why? You saved the world from Irkalla once already. If you do again, what happens? Hunt the occasional vampire every now and then? Really? That’s the life you want? Nations will go back to their bickering. Over population, famine disease, terrorism. You owe it to the world to fix these things. Irkalla is only the tip of the iceberg.”

“You want me to make the world better?” I asked doubtfully.

“I want you to stop letting other people take credit for your work. You have a chance to be famous. You have always dreamed of being beautiful, confident, and powerful. Now you have it and you are hiding on a ranch in Wyoming with a tribe of wolves?”

“If I am known I will never be left alone. I will never have peace.” I argued.

“Who is going to fuck with you kid? You are a living Goddess on Earth. You protect these people and let them think the damn government is doing it? Why? After all you have been through, what do you have to show for it? Your so called friends and lover watch that sexy metal sliding over your body like it’s a mood ring. So afraid of Bella losing control. Don’t they have faith in you? Sam tore Emily’s face off and no one watches his temper. Your Dad is happy you are pregnant because he thinks you will behave now. Behave the way he believes you should. The old Indian wants you to meditate all the damn time. Because that’s what you do with weapons when they aren’t being used. You holster them. Trust me they weren’t bitching when you turned into a dark goddess in La Push and started blasting vampires to pieces.”

“You think I should show myself to the world?” I asked quietly.

“Yes! I realize the effect I have on you Bella. But all you have had talking to you is ghosts of humans. I’m not the evil being you think I am. The world, physical and spiritual, is not black and white. I’m trying to free you Bella. You can have everything you have ever wanted. Why not take it? Every man wanting you? Money you already have but what about power? The power to really help people. Not like these damn politicians claim to do. You were chosen for this power. Don’t you think you should be trusted to make the decisions that are important? Your desires make you powerful. Why do you deny them, the moment you are so close to getting what you want?”

“No.” I whispered. It was wrong.

“You sure? Look out at the world Bella. It can be yours. Worshipped. All the years of being ignored, cast aside by friends, by those closest to you. The world will turn on you eventually unless you take control.”

“Why? What is in this for you?” I asked.

“I appreciate a person who has so much potential but is ignored and cast aside because they do not know their place. Let me guide you. I can give you the world.”

The sun was rising. How long had we been here?

“Where are we?”

“You are in Utah. You flew quite a ways last night. That’s Provo in the distance.”

The scenery was beautiful. The world really was beautiful. I missed Phoenix. I missed La Push.

“How did Irkalla survive? I burned her.”

“You think I gave a gift to the world that you can burn?”

A gift. He kept calling it a gift.

“What about it Bella? I have friends. They of course do not know what I am. They have contacts. I can have a press conference set up by noon. You can announce yourself to the world. Call out Irkalla. She has enough pride that she can be drawn out. But the choice is yours.”

“Press conference?”

“You could be signing autographs by 12:15.” He winked.

“What is my other choice?” I asked.

“Choice?”

“You said we all had choices. What is my other choice?”

“Continue on the path you are on. More pain. More thankless pain. Allow yourself to be used as a weapon by inferior beings. Let your alpha dog continue to exert his influence along with your Dad who finally finds you interesting. Probably lose more friends. Maybe have to kill more children to keep them from being vampires. Fight for thousands of years, never really winning, never really losing. Watching your children grow old and die. You will never see them. Immortality is a curse. How are you ever going to get to the higher plane to even see your kids Bella? You aren’t allowed there. You are a tool. Just like I am. I handle the lower plane and you handle Earth. That simple. Hide what you are. Hold yourself back. Make those around you feel better about themselves. You may get killed by Irkalla though. There is always the possibility. Even other vampires could take you out. Of course your children grow up orphans. Or with Jake. That love sick fool would kill himself if you died though. Either way it’s a rough path to take. You really want that? If you are cursed with that handcuff on your wrist at least use it to rule your own world.”

“What about love?”

“Everyone will love you kid.” He grinned.

“No. Everyone will fear me. What about love?”

“You think you are really loved now?”

“Yes.”

“You are feared.” He countered.

“No. They are afraid for me. Not of me.” I told him calmly.

“You want love? Your werewolf will be with you. He would lick dirt off your feet. Isn’t that enough?”

I stood in silence watching Provo in the distance with the devil at my back. Once again I seemed to lose track of time. The sun set and the sun rose again. I wasn’t tired. I didn’t want to sleep. I felt his cold presence behind me the entire time.

Finally I turned and faced him. I made myself look into his eyes.

“What day is it?”

“It’s Thursday. A good day for a press conference.”

“No. It’s my fiancé’s birthday. I have to get home.”

“You don’t have a home.”

“Yeah. I do. There is one problem with your offer. The world isn’t yours to give. I don’t want it. I’m not saying you are even wrong. I have stood here and tried to find valid arguments to everything you said. It’s true though. The feelings of worthlessness, being cast aside, not being good enough, the anger that probably isn’t justified. It is all there in my soul. My doubt, my fears, my desires, my ego. Everything you said is true. A part of me does want to announce my presence to the world. I really do. I should be in college right now. Or on the road finding myself. I should not be killing children in Missouri or battling the undead across the nation.”

“You are wrong. The world is mine.” He practically growled.

“No it isn’t. But my world, the world I have is enough. My father loves me. Chris loved me. Jake loves me. The people at my Ranch love me. Nothing you could say would make me doubt that. I love them with all my heart too. Despite my weakness and failures I can love. I don’t want a press conference. I don’t want to make decisions for the world. I don’t want to be a Goddess. I want to pick up Jake’s underwear off the middle of the floor and yell at him about it. I want to hug Claire every day. I want to go to sleep at night in Jake’s arms. I want to watch my Dad’s face when I make him his favorite meal. I want to laugh. My family is not afraid of me. I know this for a fact because you are right. I wanted to kill my mother. But then I looked down at the ground I saw my family. They were not running. They were not hiding. They were begging me to come to them, despite how I looked. That is love, not fear. That is where I will be.”

“You are making a mistake.”

“I’ve made my choice. I don’t believe we will need to see each other.”

“No!”

“It is time for you to go. I will be sending Irkalla to you soon. Try to do your job and keep her this time.”

He disappeared in an instant. The temperature returned to normal, I suppose. I didn’t feel the chill in my heart any longer.

The cool mountain air felt good as it entered my lungs. My armor receded bit. My face was no longer covered nor my neck.

I threw up. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed on my knees dry heaving. It had been a few days since I ate but I wasn’t hungry. Almost as if time had stood still while I was in its evil presence. Still though, Jake must be out of his mind. My baby needed food. Most of what I vomited was water. Dad must be so worried.

My wings spread and I took to the sky. I would fly towards Jake’s essence. I could always feel him. Today would be no different. I just needed to stay high and over the wilderness. I would be fine. I needed to get to him. I needed my family.

Jake POV

I had searched everywhere. I felt her pull towards Utah but three days ago it disappeared. I thought she may have gone to the Spirit World. I searched. Old Quil searched. Nothing.

No one knew where Bella was. It was as if she had disappeared off the face of the Earth. Had Irkalla gotten to her? Was she followed?

No. I tried to follow her and couldn’t. A vampire wouldn’t be able to.

Having nothing else to do I did as she said. I joined the Pack back at the Ranch. Charlie was freaking out. She told me she would be back two days ago.

“Jake could you come here please.” Dad said. I raced into the living room and saw him hanging the phone up.

“Bella?”

“No… I found your car though. Apparently after you left for Missouri, Bella arranged for an attendant to take your car to a body shop. She had the engine chromed, I suppose as a birthday gift. That was the garage saying it was done today as agreed and they needed you to come get it. They need the space.”

She had my engine chromed? I noticed my car was gone but I never really gave it much thought.

“I’ll give you a ride Jake.” Embry told me quietly.

“It can stay.” I said tersely.

“Jake, wherever Bella is, she wanted you to have this for your birthday.”

“Yeah and she told me she would be back two days ago. She left without a fucking word! I’m sick of her shit! She is carrying my baby!” I yelled.

“She was forced to kill twenty children Jacob! I remember when you would run off for days because you didn’t know exactly where she was. Calm yourself boy!”

I turned and looked at Dad who was standing and very, very angry.

“Dad?”

I looked at Rachel and Rebecca. They were also concerned. Dad didn’t usually have this temper.

“I’m sorry. I’m worried. But she is okay. We aren’t going to act like she isn’t. She bought you a birthday gift. Please go get your gift. She will be disappointed if you don’t receive it.”

Quil ran inside.

“Bella is coming!”

“How do you know?” I asked quickly.

“Claire stopped playing and ran outside to stare at the sky. She said Bella would be here soon and would need a hug.”

The house emptied and soon we were standing behind Claire looking in towards the south.

Soon everyone saw it. The glint of sun off of silver wings gliding through the air.

I let out a breath. She was okay. Physically.

“Don’t lose your temper Jake.” Rachel whispered.

“I’m not. I just want her home.” She patted me on the back. Bella landed with grace as always. Claire beat me to her, jumping in her arms as soon as she touched the ground. She squeezed Claire tightly and placed her on the ground without a word.

Everyone in the clearing took a breath.

“Bella… you… what happened to you?”

Her hair was thick and brown. The same mahogany brown I feel in love with. Her eyes were a beautiful chocolate shade of brown. She looked like she did before she left Forks the first time.

“Sorry. I lost track of time.” She told me and then ran into my arms. “Happy birthday baby.”

I held her tightly, afraid that she may fly off again.

“Please never do that again.” I whispered. “At least take me with you.”

“I won’t Jake. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m just glad you are back.”

“Can we get in on this action?” Charlie asked. I stepped back and a line including the imprints and wolves parents who had heard what Bella had to do in Missouri hugged her. Her metal was silver. Her hair was no longer dark nor were her eyes.

“I would ground you forever if you weren’t an adult now. Please never do that to me again.”

“I won’t Daddy.”

My eyes took in the Pack and landed on Old Quil. He was peering at Bella with much interest. He had been as worried as Charlie and I. He loved her fiercely. When he walked up he didn’t hug her though.

“Who were you with?” he asked.

“Later,” was Bella’s response. Later?

He nodded but continued to watch her closely. The group walked inside but I stayed back. Emily told me she would be preparing for my birthday party and I could stay in another house. So long as Bella was with me.

“What happened to you Bella?” I asked when we were alone.

“What do you mean?”

“Your hair and eyes. The darkness in your features seem to be gone…”

“Do you still think I’m beautiful Jake?”

A strange question. Bella never worried about looks.

“The most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I don’t give a damn what color your hair and eyes are.”

“Thank you.” She whispered. I held her in silence until Sam beckoned us over.

Quil and Embry had returned with my car. The engine looked great. I was surprised to see other gifts. We had not had much time to shop but apparently Rachel and Rebecca had put a lot of time into making sure I had a good birthday. Bella had shopped with them since she knew what I liked.

At least I thought she did.

I opened a box in front of everyone. Inside was the ugliest sweater I had ever laid my eyes on.

“Uh… Rachel?”

“It’s going to get cold here soon. You need to dress like it bothers you when you go into Casper.” She explained.

Paul laughed.

“I’m picking up one for Paul as well.”

Paul stopped laughing.

“I think the color will bring out your eyes Jake.” Bella explained.

“Which color?”

That at least got a laugh out of her. She was quiet but she seemed happy. I figured she would be traumatized from Missouri but she seemed to be handling it. I would definitely be going into detail with her later over what she did these past three days.

“Seriously Jake that is one gift you should put back in the box and never open again.” Quil said, drawing a scowl from Rachel and a laugh from everyone else. Everyone except Bella.

“Oh my God.” She whispered.

“What? I’ll wear it if it means that much to you girls.” I told them.

“It’s a gift. His gift to the world. It can’t be destroyed but it can be put back into the box.” Bella said to herself.

“What is a gift?” Old Quil asked, suddenly very interested.

“The venom. It was his gift. I need that box Jake. The box that held the venom. We have to find that cave Jake. I need that box.”

Silence.

“Who… who told you it was a gift?” Old Quil asked.

Bella pulled herself out of her thoughts.

“Satan.”