Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Claws

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 11:

I woke up with some difficulty opening my heavy eyes. I had no idea how long I slept, what time I passed out or what time it was now. Judging by how my body felt something tells me I am late for school.

School. The entire charade was ridiculous. Charlie could only cover my absences for so long. I should consider home schooling but Mother told me no.

Mother.

Memories of my conversation last night hit me at once.

I had broken down, made myself vulnerable. I let my guard down and could have been attacked at any time.

Julie was never afraid to cry. She had me to watch over her. I had been conditioned not to cry. Crying was a weakness as was love.

I never felt weak with her and I never saw her as weak.

Mother. How I detested that woman. Still every child needed a mother. She was mine. Mother made me strong. She did not give me a choice. I have survived many battles because of the lessons she taught me.

I am not stupid. I know she does not love me nor did she love any of us. So many times I wanted to lash out at her, rip her face to shreds, pull her black heart out of her body and chew on it before her eyes.

But I couldn’t. No matter how much my mind wanted to kill her, I couldn’t do it. She knew it too. I swear that woman could read my every thought just by looking in my eyes. Mother even told me once to do it, to kill her, smiling the entire time. She knew I couldn’t do it.

That woman was the only constant I had in my life besides Julie. She wasn’t always horrible to us. Many times I would have thought she actually loved us. I became to believe that was what love truly was. Hurting someone to make them stronger was love.

Until I was 14 and Julie and I grew closer, realized our bond was not sisterly but different. Julie made me feel real love, unconditional love.

Still I could never kill Mother and she knew it. Instead of fighting it, I obeyed. It was simpler. If she wanted to punish me it was only to make me stronger. If she hurt me it was because she wanted me to never be hurt by anyone. I became used to pain. I gained strength from it. I lost my fear because of her.

Because of Mother I could jump out of airplanes without a parachute, knowing that I would land on my feet. I faced newborn vampires in the training rooms, enclosed spaces to limit my movements and was never afraid.

Even when I realized that newborns were impossible to control and the Organization was using the vampire venom they possessed to turn humans into training dummies for us, it did not matter to me. All that mattered was the simple fact that I was not afraid. She taught me that.

She made me into that.

Mother was not lying. I was the strongest, the fastest, the most vicious. I not only had no fear but I enjoyed the hunt.

Julie was weaker. She was nowhere close to as strong as I was, nowhere as vicious. She kept me from becoming a complete animal.

Still, when Mother told me to do something, I did it. The only thing I wouldn’t do is hurt Julie and she never asked me too. She encouraged me in our relationship told me it would make Julie stronger, make me more grounded in humanity. Mother moved us into the same room, something that made me happy. She took and took my entire childhood and it was for my own good. She also gave me everything good in my life.

She made me nearly fearless. There were only two things I feared. One was living without Julie and no matter how much I hated Mother, I feared disappointing her.

It was sick and I recognized that. But still I couldn’t hurt her. I could hate, I could dream of killing her but every time I had the chance, I just couldn’t and she knew it.

No matter what, I was hers. Her creation, both genetically and mentally.

I still became sick when I heard her voice. The remaining sisters I had looked to me for strength, for an example and I gave them one. I bowed to that woman’s every wish so they did as well. I was strong but when she told me to kneel I did. She always made sure I knew my place.

When I was good, I was rewarded. When I was bad, I was punished. The worst times would be when she didn’t punish me but punished Julie instead, telling the woman I loved that she made me weak.

I had to be strong. For me and Julie. I had no fear except something happening to Julie and disappointing Mother.

Julie and I were supposed to die together. I would stay by her side in the fight, we would work together and I would die before I let someone touch her. I fucked that up.

Instead we let ourselves be led into that hell and I attacked the two with foggy eyes. I knew they were the strongest, the oldest and I let my animal take over. I turned my back on Julie to fight and kill the strongest. I let her out of my sight.

Then I found her dead. The greatest fear I had, the one Mother could never erase, had come true.

Mother hugged me when I returned. She told me how proud she was of me. She told me she was sorry for Julie but I knew she didn’t mean it. She saw Julie as my one weakness and was glad she was gone.

So as sickening as it was, Mother was all I had left.

If I became a Jaguar I could be put down. If I didn’t, I would breed new monsters and then be put down. Children condemned to my life. The woman would tell me she loved me as she did it.

I had to keep hunting. I had to find something that could finally beat me. I thought the Wendigo might have been able and it nearly did until those men got involved.

Connolly. I believe I may hate him a little but he went above and beyond, he took the Wendigo on, sliced his throat with no fear. Perhaps the two of us aren’t that different. I wonder what fires he went through to lose fear.

I was under no illusion that him and his men could take down the Organization. They were too big. They were the god we prayed to in a way.

But if he got close enough, I think he could do what I never could. He could kill Mother.

If I can restrain myself from killing his stubborn ass.

Deciding I had to open my eyes at some point this morning, or perhaps this afternoon since I didn’t know the time, I took in my surroundings and realized how much I let my guard down.

There was a heartbeat in my den. Someone was breathing.

I sat up quickly and scanned the area, finding my father… Charlie Swan, asleep in the rocking chair in the corner of my room.

What was he doing here?

He came in last night while I was crying. He held me. As much as I have tried to push him away, he held me. I wanted him to.

I am becoming weak. My mission is to kill until I am killed. I let Julie out of my sight and she was gone. Julie at least knew what she was getting into, knew what to expect. This man had no real idea. The idiot had been with Connolly’s group. I can’t be responsible for his death. He is a human, one who was tricked into serving the Organization. He may have been a cop but he was in over his head when it came to my world.

The man must have no common sense, no sense of self preservation. Humans were supposed to have this. We protected humans because they could not protect themselves. When faced with monsters, with the unknown, humans ran.

Except the idiots on my team. They seemed to lack self-preservation as well.

“Charlie?” I called.

He woke with a start, for a moment not knowing where he was. I couldn’t help but smile a bit before I could hide it.

“Hey, your awake. I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to stay the night but I fell asleep in the chair and… I’ll leave.”

“Stop.” I told him, not certain why. Of course I needed information. I reached to my nightstand to grab my phone. As I suspected it was late, almost noon.

“You missed work.” I told him, stating the obvious for some reason.

The man actually smiled.

“Connolly isn’t a half bad cop. He said he could handle the station. I called you out from school. Didn’t figure you would be up to dealing with those kids today.”

Shaking my head I had to wonder what Forks High School thought of my attendance record after three weeks. I had already missed three days due to a fake illness and skipped out in the middle of another.

“Perhaps I should consider home schooling. My activities are making it difficult to maintain regular attendance and questions will be raised, questions not even you can answer. I did not expect this much activity so soon.”

Charlie shook his head. “I can handle that. I have a lot of pull when it comes to this little town. I spoke to the principle and he understands your situation.”

I tensed, wondering if he had foolishly put another in harm’s way. He must have noticed and chuckled.

“I told him you had a small benign brain tumor and suffered from migraines often. He understood. So long as you keep up with your assignments, he tells me. I assured him you would.”

I was impressed. The man was providing more than adequate cover. I should have thought of that myself.

He was too good. Charlie wouldn’t stay out of my way and I didn’t want his death on my conscious. Renee Swan’s death already was in the back of my mind, always.

I stood up and stretched my legs and back. I felt good and was becoming used to this tightness in my chest. Pain was nothing. I just had forgotten that. If I told Mother she would bring me in. I have not lived this long to die in a laboratory. I am a Jaguar. I am a predator. Predators die in the wild. I may be an abomination in the natural order of things but I still believed in balance.

“So you are taking off from work or will you be going to the Station?”

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll do what you want me to do. If you want to be alone, I understand.”

Shaking my head I walked to the closet and pulled out the box containing weapons.

“Do you have paper targets?”

He nodded his head slowly. I opened the box. He had seen the one containing my various suits but never seen this one. The look on his face told me he was impressed.

“Are those grenades?” he whispered and I wasn’t sure of it was an actual question. I didn’t bother answering. Of course they were grenades.

I took out my assault rifle.

“This is a Kriss Vector. Are you familiar with it?”

The man’s wide eyes told me he was or most likely knew about them.

“Light weight, but modified, able to hold a thirty round clip. The magazine you will be using will be heavier, the bullets are silver and heavier, but the gun is designed to lighten recoil. The bullets will make any supernatural creature stop. My support team used them in taking down the Wendigo. They must have fired a hundred rounds into the thing but none of them were lethal. However on more standard enemies, Sasquatches, normal Lycans, normal shifters, skin walkers, they should be lethal if shot in the head.”

“I see.”

“Not yet and I hope you never have to. The most effective strategy is a shot to the heart followed by shots to the eyes. Since you have a habit of showing up at supernatural crime scenes it is important that you carry this box in your patrol car at all times. This ammo can make a vampire stop in its track but it by no means kill one. Vampires bodies are almost crystalline underneath, a substance called venom powering them, keeping them flexible and alive, regenerating body parts over time and causing extreme pain to humans, turning them into vampires and death to other supernatural creatures. I have been immunized to this but other creatures have not. Keep a lighter on you at all times, preferably a Zippo. This will only stop them momentarily but if you see a black substance flowing from a wound throw the lighter at it immediately. Venom is highly flammable. If you are able to burn even a small amount the rest of the venom in their bodies will burn, their crystalline bone structure hardening then cracking, ending their undead lives.”

I watched him carefully and satisfied that he comprehended what I was saying, moved on.

“This is a modified Glock G17 Gen 4 with a twenty round clip and a backup clip that is twenty five. Keep it on you at all times. The rifle will have to stay in the trunk but this is your new duty weapon. Understand these are to be used in worst case scenarios. You will not be joining missions. These are for personal protection. You do not have the training for field missions. Keep the assault rifle, the grenades, the tactical handgun near you at all times. If we… I mean you need more ammo or grenades Connolly has a large stock in his basement.”

“No. Don’t you need these guns?”

I shook my head. “I am allowed to use them in a worst case scenario but my body is my preferred weapon. Guns slow me down, make noise, add weight. I wear the suits I wear because of the material. It stays close to my body, doesn’t rub, or cause friction. It allows me to stay quiet. There is only one weapon I have ever actually used in combat.”

I walked to my closet and pulled the bone knife Connolly used to slash the Wendigo’s throat.

“Figure out a way to keep this one you at scenes. I realize it is long but this like my claws will cut through anything, even vampires. Use it as a last resort. I made it from the bone of a Lycan I killed. Have you ever used any of these weapons before?”

The man shook his head.

“Then let’s get the paper targets and find an isolated spot in the forest. I will show you everything you need to know.”

I rode with him down a few backroads that wound past hiking trails, no doubt so Park Rangers could find missing or lost hikers quickly rather than having to follow the long trails from the start. We drove in silence, I suppose neither of us good at small talk.

Eventually we arrived at a secluded spot I was satisfied was devoid of humans or vampires for miles around.

Charlie did well with the assault rifle, having no difficulty with the recoil but mostly aiming for dead center mass, an effective method for destroying a human. In regard to supernatural creatures more was needed. I let him play with the assault rifle, telling myself I didn’t care about the smile on his face.

“The pistol. Aim for the eyes and only the eyes.” I told him when he finished the clip.

He tried, not having much success, only striking between the eyes.

“You have to hit the eyes. It has to become second nature. You are going to have to practice a lot. I realize officers of the law are taught differently but the only law in this world is survival of the fittest. Kill or be killed.”

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. “I doubt I could ever hit a high speed moving target directly in the eye. I doubt anyone could.”

I reached out for the pistol and placed a fresh clip in. Keeping my eyes on him I reached my arm out towards the targets and fired six times, taking out the eyes of the three targets without looking.

Perhaps I was showing off.

Yes, I was definitely showing off.

“Practice until you can.” I told him, grinning before I could stop myself.

“Never try to engage a target unless absolutely necessary. Do not follow us on missions. If you see something in the woods that doesn’t sound like a typical animal use the assault rifle if you have time to get it. Use the pistol as a secondary weapon and the blade as a last resort.”

“And the grenades?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. ‘Have you ever thrown one?”

“No I haven’t.”

“So have fun. I can always get more.” I told him, grinning once again before I could stop myself. It was ridiculous. This man was my cover. I just wanted to protect my cover. That was it.

I had to stop him after he threw the tenth grenade. His giggling had me worried that he may inadvertently drop one and I was not in the mood to fall on a grenade and ruin this top.

On the drive back he asked a question I had expected eventually.

“Can this ammo hurt you?”

“Yes. If my spine is severed, I die. If it pierces my breast bone into my heart, I will most likely die before I can heal. Normal ammunition cannot harm me. My bones are indestructible in regard to human weapons. I can be shot in places that are not protected by bone, such as my abdomen but my healing factor keeps me alive, my body even expels the bullet before it heals. Supernatural creatures can break my bones and as you saw, cause serious bleeding. Those scars heal though they take time. Vampires are a different story. If I am slashed by their nails, the scars remain. If they bite me, the scars remain. You will never see a scar on my face or throat because if a vampire gets close enough to grab my head, I am already dead.”

He was silent for the next ten minutes, I suppose soaking this in.

He next asked the question I had expected since I opened my mouth.

“What monster shot you? How do you know a bullet would be expelled from your body?”

I took a deep breath. Last week I would have had no problem telling him. I would have enjoyed seeing the disgust and guilt on his face.

This time I watched the road in front of me, not wanting to tell him at all but knowing I would have to.

“The monsters that wear lab coats. We weren’t just cut to measure our healing factor. Other things were done. Bones crushed, gunshots to different areas of our body. It allowed them to study our healing time and conditioned us to pain. The tests made us stronger. When you have been shot and stabbed enough times, it doesn’t faze you anymore. You don’t cry, you don’t overreact. You think, you use your brain and never lose control. It helped me, made me stronger.”

Mother had told us that. I recognized it wasn’t right. I wanted to tear up the room, kill them all when they shot Julie so many times. If I had though, it would have proven to them that she was a weakness and they would have killed her. I could only watch and hold her afterward.

Charlie didn’t say anything else, no questions or comments but I could smell his tears, hear the difficulty he had breathing.

It really wasn’t his fault. I should have killed them all, ended my pain when my claws appeared but I was too weak. I couldn’t disappoint Mother and she knew it.

I noticed the pain in my chest was starting to lessen. I had become so accustomed to it I had almost forgotten about it.

It was gone by the time I arrived home and didn’t have to guess who the old red truck belonged to. Leah was inside the cab.

Waiting on me.

“Leah’s here.” Charlie told me, showing his skills at observing the obvious. “I guess you two hit it off?”

I nodded. “She is a good friend for my cover. She doesn’t ask questions and is a loner. She is popular in La Push but doesn’t gossip. She is essential to my tactic of blending in and gives me a reason to visit La Push without raising any suspicions.”

“I see. Maybe she could be a real friend.” he suggested.

“So someone else can get killed? You are part of this. Billy keeps his secrets from you and now you have secrets to keep from him. I don’t need friends, I need a team. That’s all.”

Charlie raised his eyebrows as if confused or disbelieving then got out of the car, waved to Leah who was also exiting her truck and walked inside.

I took a deep breath, planted a smile on my face and got out of the car.

“Hi.” she greeted me with a slight smile.

“It’s good to see you Leah.”

She looked a bit strange, confused or conflicted, I couldn’t tell. At least she was wearing jeans and a rain coat today so I wouldn’t be distracted by her beautiful bronze skin.

“You kind of cut out on me the other night. Didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Was everything okay? Jake said you looked upset when you left.”

I wondered if I would have to blind Jake to discourage him from watching me so closely.

That would probably be an overreaction.

Instead I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

“You looked like you were in good hands. I didn’t want to interfere and I was getting a bit tired. I hope you weren’t upset.”

Leah stared at me for a few seconds.

Then a few seconds longer.

It was becoming uncomfortable so I had to look at the ground, finding the wet grass very interesting.

“I’d like to talk to you. Somewhere maybe not in a yard. Can we go to your room?”

That would be a bad idea.

“Of course.”

I walked slowly up the stairs with her following, my nerves growing as we approached my room. She obviously did not come to just hang out.

I sat in the chair Charlie had slept in the night before and motioned to my bed.

“I didn’t mean to upset you by leaving. I just didn’t want to interfere with your time with Sam.”

Leah shrugged her shoulders.

“That story about the motorcycle accident is bullshit, isn’t it? The supposed dog bites that look just like human bite marks, all of it, it was bullshit, right?”

I closed my eyes and felt an immediate headache.

“For some reason I could tell you were lying and it wasn’t just the look on your face or the stumbling over your words.”

I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. “I guess you have your answer. Does it matter how I got these scars?”

Leah said nothing but her heartbeat sped up.

“I want to be your friend and I don’t want to start off being lied to.” she told me when I opened my eyes.

“Then there are questions you can’t ask. If you don’t want me to lie to you, the best I can do is not answer questions.”

“And if you can answer questions, would you tell me the truth?”

“If it’s a question I can answer then yes. I don’t want to lie to you. I’m really not sure why. I don’t get close to people easily and I usually never have problems lying. With you, for some reason, it’s different. I wish you could know everything about me. I wish I could have a friend like that. But if you knew the truth about me it wouldn’t matter that you would be in danger. It wouldn’t matter because if you knew the real me, what I really am, you would run. You would be terrified and run.”

Leah snorted, and I have to say it was a bit of a surprise. She didn’t seem like the type of person who would make a sound like that but it was cute.

“I’m tougher than I look and I don’t scare easily.” she told me. I could see she meant it. The girl had no idea what real fear was. Leah didn’t know real monsters existed. I didn’t want her to know. Humans shouldn’t have that burden on them.

“Okay. So ask your questions and I will tell you what I can.”

“Who hurt you?”

“A lot of things have hurt me. I tend to pick fights.”

“Who?” she repeated.

“I can’t tell you.”

Leah nodded her head and sat farther back on my bed, her back leaning against the headboard and her arms crossed.

“Why does my chest hurt and it only stops when I am near you? It started when I first saw you in that parking lot. Something happened and I want to know what.”

I shook my head. How I wish I knew.

“I don’t know what happened Leah. I’m not lying. I thought at first as crazy as this sounds that you may have done something to me. I know that isn’t true. I’m the problem, I don’t know what I did or how to fix it. If I did, I would but I can’t exactly go to a doctor and explain that the first time I saw you it hurt to be away from you.”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “So you feel it too?”

I nodded, looking away from her for a moment. The idea I had in the beginning, the idea that it could have been her or Sam was ridiculous in hindsight. I was the monster who fought monsters. I was the girl who could potentially turn into an animal forever if I survived that long. I was the one who had a sick bond with a woman I hated who I could not kill. I did whatever happened.

“It stopped for a while one night. I told you that. Were you in La Push?”

Damn it.

“Yes. But I wasn’t there to stalk you. I don’t even know where you live. I… yes, I was in La Push that night.”

“What were you doing there that late?”

“I can’t tell you.”

How to explain that I was patrolling my area, marking my territory farther out, claiming the land as my own by clawing tree trunks? I couldn’t.

Leah let out a deep breath. “Do you think you would ever be able to tell me?”

I shook my head. No way. Absolutely not. She would be in danger.

“You can’t know. Knowing could get you killed.”

“Not if you don’t tell anybody I know.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me. You would be.”

“I told you I don’t scare easy.”

“It’s not easy to not be scared of me. I don’t want that.”

“Bullshit.” was her reply.

I had to laugh, despite the seriousness of this odd situation. I shouldn’t be talking to her about this at all. Still I couldn’t lie to her. It was hard for some reason to not answer her questions.

“Oh really? What if I told you I was a monster? A walking Halloween costume? What if I told you, let’s say the tips of my fingers turned into claws?”

Leah actually laughed so I smiled as if I had told a joke.

“I would tell you to get a pedicure.”

This time I laughed. I don’t know why it was so easy to laugh around her. I shouldn’t have. This was not a humorous situation.

We sat in silence for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say, her thinking of another question and me hoping she would stop asking.

“What am I supposed to do about this pain? What are you supposed to do? We can’t live like this.”

I shook my head, not having a clue on how to answer that and I had thought of it often. What could I do for her? If I knew I would have done it already.

“Maybe we should be real friends?” she suggested. “Hang out as much as possible? I know you are apparently weird, you know I suck at having to deal with most people. Maybe we get to know each other, stay near each other in our free time until we can figure this out?”

That could be a bad idea. Real friends? My real friends are dead. The more she is around, the greater the chance she will find the truth. Besides, there was that other problem.

“There is something you should know. It’s about Sam.”

Leah tensed up and I wondered why? Sam barely knew me. But he knew people in Forks and they talked. I knew how small towns operated, how small town people thought. Mother had explained this to me. People with my sexual preferences were not easily accepted. Had Sam told her to stay away from me?

“What about him?”

“I can’t be near him, when you are with him. Every time he touches you, I want to kill him. I am not saying I am in love with you. I really know nothing about you. All I can tell you is whatever happened to make us connected, also makes me want to kill him when he touches you. I know this is not normal. I have nothing against the man. I don’t really know him and I don’t understand why this is. I just know that it is dangerous to be around him when he is near you.”

Leah looked at me for a long moment and something flashed in her eyes, a realization perhaps?

“You’ve… killed people. Before I mean?”

I nodded my head. There was no point in denying it since she wasn’t really asking.

“Still want to be my friend?”

“Why?”

“You will have to be more specific.” I told her, wondering if this would be enough to put her off of me. She would surely rather live with the pain than be my friend.

“Why have you killed people?” she asked quietly.

“I had to. The reason is one of the many things I can’t tell you about myself. I am not a murderer.” That wasn’t true though, was it? “Maybe I am but I don’t… it’s hard to explain. It’s one of the many reasons you shouldn’t be around me. I’m dangerous.”

Leah moved to the end of the bed and placed her feet on the floor. I thought she may be leaving but instead she leaned towards me.

“You aren’t dangerous to me. I can feel it. You would never hurt me, would you?”

“I don’t hurt innocent people.”

“That’s not what I asked. You would never hurt me. I know it. Somehow, I know it, just like I knew you were lying about your scars, just like I knew you left because I was dancing with Sam. Am I wrong?”

I took a breath and sat back again, trying to move as far away as possible, even though it wasn’t far. She had closed the distance between us.

“No Leah. I would never hurt you. Its why I don’t want you to know the truth about me. You could be killed if it was ever found out I told you. Even if I told you, you would have to see it to believe it. If you saw it, I know what your reaction would be. I don’t want to see that.”

Leah stood and I hoped it was to leave as much as I didn’t want that.

Instead of walking out she turned to me instead and walked closer, looking down on me as I sat.

“We have to figure this out. We have to be friends. I need to know why I feel like I can feel your emotions even though I hardly know you. I will go crazy if I don’t. I won’t be scared and you know it. I think you are scared and telling yourself it’s me. I am not scared of you. I know you are dangerous. I can see it in your eyes. But not to me. We can hang out, away from Sam. I’ll tell you about myself and when you are ready you are going to tell me more about you. You are going to believe I am strong enough to take it. I’m not giving you a choice. When we figure this out if you don’t want to be friends, I can live with that. But right now, we need each other because I am tired of feeling this pain.”

I was shocked to hear the determination in her voice. She had steel inside her. Leah Clearwater was obviously someone who didn’t take no for an answer. Perhaps she was a distant relation to Connolly.

She was damn beautiful. How did I tell her she confused me and it had more to do with just wanting to kill her boyfriend when he touched her? How could I explain that I didn’t know her, didn’t love her, yet I felt a strong desire to possess her? I couldn’t.

“Friendship?”

“Yes.”

“Every friend I have ever had is dead. They were younger than you.”

Leah backed up and looked… sad.

“You’ll protect me. You will tell me everything. If not today then one day. We are going to see this out, together because for better or worse we are bound.”

I closed my eyes and leaned forward, my headache becoming stronger despite the absence of the pain in my chest. No one else could become involved. I was letting my guard down with Charlie. I let him hold me while I cried like a little girl. Now she wanted to know me? This couldn’t happen.

But I couldn’t turn her down. Friendship. If I can spend my free time with her, help her with what I obviously caused, perhaps she would be satisfied.

“There are going to have to be rules, for everyone’s safety.” I decided.

Leah nodded her head, waiting for more.

“I can’t be around you when Sam is around. That’s for his safety. I don’t know why I have such a violent reaction to him touching you but until we can figure this mess out, if he is around, it’s better for me not to be.”

“I can live with that.”

“You can’t ask me…”

“No. I will ask. You don’t have to answer but I will ask. Just don’t lie to me.”

I supposed I should have seen that coming.

“I have to go away at strange times. I could be gone for hours or days. You can’t ask where I go or what I am doing. That’s a definite rule. That’s the one question you cannot ask.”

Leah actually smirked. “I’ll consider it. Probably not going to happen.”

“I said these are rules.” I reminded her.

“I’m letting you have your fun. I don’t play by rules and I get the feeling you don’t either.”

Leah definitely knew how to make a point.

“You have to answer questions about you.” I told her.

“If I am able. You might be scared of what you find out so there may be questions I can’t answer.” she responded with a wink and a grin.

I shook my head. “I’m not going to be able to turn you down, am I?”

She seemed happy with this. “Now you are getting it, Swan. So I figure we can start this friendship thing off right, no lies, no awkwardness, just the two of us, answering the questions we can answer right now. I think a sleep over is in order. A girl’s night.”

That made me stiffen. No way.

“I suppose I can sleep on the couch.” I told her carefully. “Don’t you have school tomorrow?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I can get up in time. Maybe I will skip. You skipped today right?”

“Okay.” I told her, giving in. She wasn’t going anywhere.

“And your bed is big enough for the both of us. Don’t worry, I’m not a cuddler and I promise to keep my hands to myself. Besides I want one night of sleep without my chest aching. This is non-negotiable. I should mention I’m a pushy friend.”

I wanted to groan. I would be getting zero sleep tonight.

I shrugged my shoulders. There was no getting out of this.

“So, want to watch a movie or what? How do these girl’s nights work?”

Leah shook her head and grabbed my hand, shocking me with the tingle that went through my body.

“You felt that too, didn’t you?” she asked but once again she wasn’t really asking. She knew I did.

“Yeah.”

Leah tried to pull me up and I let her before she realized she was nowhere strong enough to pull me up. She pulled me to the bed.

“I’m not much for doing nails so I guess we can just start getting to know each other. First question. Is Purple really your favorite color?”

I looked around my room, giving it some thought.

“I am pretty certain I can’t stand purple.” I admitted.

“What is your favorite color then?”

“Green.” I answered immediately. “It reminds me of the Rainforest.”

Damn it. Why did I say that?

Because I can’t lie to her. This is so dangerous for her.

“I thought you grew up in Arizona?”

I simply looked at her and I think she understood. It was one of those questions she couldn’t ask.

Deciding I wouldn’t be answering she stood up.

“Let’s go.”

“Go where?” I asked, a bit concerned.

“To the hardware store. Besides the stuffed dog on your bed and the picture of you and Julie it doesn’t look like anyone lives in here. The TV helps but you need decoration. You want something to do? We are going to paint your room tonight. Good thing I brought my truck.”

So we did. It was… fun. We picked out shades, we stopped at small gift shop in Forks and I picked some posters for the wall. Leah said no to Taylor Swift. I really don’t see people’s problem with her.

She didn’t ask any more questions that were dangerous. She told me about her family, her mother and father, her brother. She never mentioned Sam. He sent her a text and she sent him one back. I’m not sure what that was about but he didn’t text the rest of the night. At 8, Charlie came in and announced pizza had arrived. He seemed happy.

“It’s good to see you smile.” Charlie whispered to me when Leah walked to the bathroom. “And mean it.” he finished before walking out.

It did feel good to smile.

By eleven we were done and both exhausted. We had worked fast, not as fast I could.

Leah fell asleep quickly. Me, not so much. Not only did I have to fight the irrational need to hold her, or just touch her, the paint fumes were seriously disturbing me. Having a heightened sense of smell was great for tracking but not so much when it came to everyday items that smelled horrible.

I learned that Leah snored.

Before I closed my eyes to make a serious effort at sleep, my phone buzzed.

It was Connolly.

/I had a talk with Hildebrand tonight. She claims she is your MOTHER. Your MOTHER wants me to watch you for any irrational behavior and at the first sign use your kill switch, shoot you in the back of your head and send your body back to the lab for an autopsy./

I sighed. I already knew that was coming. It was no surprise.

/I figured she would/ I sent back.

/She said a control subject turned into a Jaguar and wouldn’t turn back/

/I know./

/You ever think that maybe the girl just didn’t want to turn back? I’m fucking these people up Bella. We all are. The question is are you in?/

I did not reply for a moment. Was I? Did I really have anything to lose? I turned to my side and watched Leah snoring.

Yeah, I did. But if I just sat and did nothing… if distance apart hurt her, what would me dying do to her? Free her or kill her as well? I couldn’t take the chance of another friend dying because of me. Either way I was screwed.

/I told the Cullens everything. They are in. We need as much help as we can get. I have a plan. Half a plan. The beginning of a plan. Are you in?/ he asked again.

I shook my head, too tired to even be angry.

/I figured you would tell them. What are the chances of us pulling this off without getting everyone killed/ I asked.

I waited for a few minutes, expecting a long reply.

/50/50/

Better odds than I would give it.

/Can you kill Mother? I can’t/

/I’ll give her head to you on a fucking silver platter/

As Ty would say, fuck my life.

/I’m in/

---

The man I am counting on just sent me a smiley emoji. As I said, fuck my life.

/Can you come to the Cullens tonight?/

I looked at Leah sleeping peacefully. She needed one night without an aching chest.

/Tomorrow after school. I’ll bring Charlie. If we are going to really do this, we all need to be on the same page./

/sounds good. See you there at 4/

/By the way, you’re an asshole, I hate you/

/Bullshit. You love me. See you tomorrow. Ty is bringing ice cream/

I turned off my phone, closed my eyes and focused on her breathing. I must have fallen asleep, because the alarm clock made me jump when it went off at 6.

Leah rolled over and smiled.

“Morning bestie.”

I shook my head.

“You snore.”