Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Claws

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 13:

Friday morning. The Friday after what was probably the strangest night of my life. Everyone had left the Cullens around 9 from what I gathered. I didn’t leave till midnight and that was only because Esme insisted I get some sleep. She told me until she could talk to this Tanya today and find the right area of land, the plans could not be modified until the Saturday. When I offered to join her on Saturday she refused, telling me she had my list and would go over the new designs on Monday. Apparently, Saturdays were for fun.

I ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth then stared into the mirror for a moment. I couldn’t help but hate my hair a bit. When I was twelve it was so long and full. I was proud of it.

Then the burning test came. My hair grew back quickly but was never as full, instead shorter thinner and only grew to the top of my shoulders, never past. Mother told me I was even more beautiful then, that the thick hair would have needed to be cut regardless. It would be a liability in combat and I shouldn’t hide my beautiful face behind the long locks that fell over my cheeks.

Julie had gorgeous, long wavy blonde hair but she kept hers the same length as mine. I asked her not to, told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted she liked it. It was true that my thick mane would have been a hindrance in combat and my hair was definitely easier to handle now.

Yet I wished I still had the hair I had as a child sometimes.

Deciding I would be completely casual today, the most worn pair of denim jeans I could find, a blue long sleeve turtle neck and heavy blue coat. I hated the coat. Cold didn’t bother me at all, a benefit of having a body temp that was constantly at 104. Unfortunately walking around Forks in forty degree weather with only a thin layer of clothes would tend to stand out.

Charlie had already left for the station I supposed since I heard no heartbeat in the house besides my own. I debated cooking breakfast for myself but instead went to the fridge, pulled out a porkchop I had bought three days ago and ate it raw. The taste of cooked meat was much better but time was running out and I supposed I should be on time at least once this week.

My cell phone rang and I didn’t need to look at the number to know who it was. I had gotten home late and there was no way I would have called her after midnight.

“Hey Leah.”

“Bella. Thought you were going to text me last night after your game?”

She was a persistent one but I had told her I would.

“Sorry, got caught up in a difficult homework assignment.” I told her. It wasn’t exactly a lie. The plans Esme had were somewhat complex.

“I thought you were a genius? Listen I need to talk to you after school. You mind if I come over?”

That couldn’t be good. She seemed hesitant to ask, something I was not used to hearing in her voice.

“Everything okay?”

She took in a quick breath and I could nearly hear her heartbeat over the phone line.

“I just need to talk to you. I could really use a friend and… it’s not something I can talk about to anyone in La Push. Will you be home?”

“Of course.” I told her immediately. It was true, I really had nothing to do until tomorrow and I knew I would have made time for her regardless.

“Great, see you at 4.”

Leah hung up the phone before I could say goodbye, just as well since I wasn’t good at goodbyes. I hoped she didn’t have more questions I couldn’t answer but that was probably what I had in store for me. At least the damn ache would go away for a little while. I was used to living with pain. It had to effect Leah much more deeply. With everything going on in regard to vampires and special forces teams who planned suicide missions, I had sort of forgotten about helping her to be rid of it. Perhaps since I knew a doctor now who I didn’t have to keep secrets from, I could ask Carlisle if he had any ideas.

The school day was becoming quite the norm. People left me alone for the most part. No one bothered me or asked me to hang out as they called it. Ty had thought when I first started that I should try making normal friends. It became apparent to him as quickly as it did me that normal friends were not meant for someone like me. What would I ever have in common with that Newman or Newton kid, or Jamie… maybe Jess… Jessica that I could relate to? I worked hard to learn about the human world, its food, its customs, its slang, but it was all for show.

Sure I’ll go to a bowling alley with all of you, but I might be called away at a moment’s notice to fight a monster in Canada. That would go over well.

As much as I hated to admit it, Jasper was right. I felt more comfortable around the Cullens than anyone else in this school because they were different like I was. I didn’t have to hide who I was.

After another movie in history that Ty had fallen asleep during, I noticed Jasper hung back to speak to my bestie. I joined them.

“I don’t understand, with all these movies we watch, why you want to skip the Civil War.” the vampire told Ty who had been woken by the bell.

Ty shrugged his shoulders. “Because it’s the one war I can’t stand to talk about. Brothers fighting brothers, families split, a nation split. Over what? States’ rights, economic impact of slavery decided by the Federal Government, territorial expansion into the West? I could spend a year wading into that mess and all it would teach them is nearly seven hundred thousand people died over bullshit caused by politicians who didn’t fire a single shot? I would be glad to show them a movie about it if it’s that important to you but what do you got? The North and the South? That would take the rest of the semester and the start of next semester and its mostly soap opera bullshit anyway. I guess we could watch Gettysburg or maybe Lincoln but let’s face it, Lincoln is one boring ass movie and you can’t understand the Civil War by watching a two hour blood bath like Gettysburg. Maybe Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer would work. It will at least keep them up.”

The look on Jasper’s face told me he was not impressed with that movie. Maybe I could watch it later. I didn’t realize vampires played a part in the Civil War or that Abraham Lincoln was a so called vampire hunter.

“Why do you care?” Ty asked him. “You think any of these kids are going to major in history? I majored in Naval History at the Academy and have spent six years making history instead of brooding over it. You really want them to know the reality of war? They won’t get it until they see it up close and personal and no history lesson is going to prepare them for that.”

Jasper looked around me to make sure no one else had walked in on their way to lunch.

“Because I served in the Civil War and I think it’s important to look at the good and the bad in this nation’s history, in all history. How are future generations going to improve if they don’t learn from the mistakes of the past?”

Ty stared at him for a moment, then grinned. “Okay, you served, I’m guessing Confederate. Where was you stationed?”

“Houston and Galveston area.”

Ty looked at him with interest for the first time.

“I’m from Houston, know quite a bit about that area. What were you? Grunt?”

Jasper shrugged his shoulders. “Started off that way when I was 15. By the time I was turned at 18 I was a Major.”

“Bullshit!” Ty told him with a smile. “You don’t have the grizzled features and the big beard all those Civil War officers had. How did you manage that?”

“I had a way with people, I guess. Probably a slight human manifestation of my empath powers now. Not that I knew that at the time.”

“So when were you turned?” I asked. I really only knew how old Edward was.

“December 22, 1862.”

Ty raised his eyebrows. “So you were there during the battle of Galveston Harbor in October but missed the Battle of Galveston in 1863?”

“Yeah. I was helping evacuate the women and children when… I got turned.”

“Major huh?” Ty asked then his eyes lit up. “No way. That was a standoff between Renshaw and Cook. Cook refused surrender and told Renshaw if he wanted to be responsible for the deaths of those civilians it would be on him. History says a Confederate Major convinced Cook to let him speak to Renshaw and the Major negotiated a four day truce to evacuate the women and kids. You had a way with people huh? Was that you? You were that Major?”

Jasper grinned a little and nodded his head. “Always kind of pissed me off that history couldn’t remember my name but that was the kind of asshole Cook was.”

Ty leaned back in his chair and nodded his head.

“Took a lot of balls to go out on a Union Ship and deal with Renshaw. If you didn’t talk him into a truce you wouldn’t have gotten off and a lot of people would have died. Saved a couple hundred lives if not more. Props my man. I tell you what. On account of those women and kids that didn’t get bombed out of existence I’ll give you two weeks.”

“Two weeks to what?” he asked. I was sort of interested in this myself. With Ty it could be anything.

“You can have this class for two weeks. I’ll tell these dumbasses I gave you an assignment at the start of the semester or something. Two weeks, no movies, just you up front teaching these kids about the Civil War. Then we go back to my movies. I got some kick ass World War 2 movies lined up. Might even throw Pearl Harbor in there with Kate Beckinsale’s fine ass. Until then take the weekend, get your shit lined up and the class is yours on Monday. Sound good?”

That could not be a good idea. A vampire trying to teach kids about history that he had to pretend he didn’t live through?

Of course until I had met the Cullens all I had learned of history was what we were told. I never had a chance to ask the vampires I killed to give me a history lesson before they died.

“Done.” Jasper told him and walked away with a small smile on his face. I wonder if he had ever done this before.

“Do you have your device in your pocket?” I asked him, wondering if Jasper had just used his power on my friend.

Thankfully Ty nodded his head. “Yeah, it’s working. Hey, the guy is living history. I suspect all of them are. Eddy told me Carlisle is 400 years old or something. The shit these vamps must have seen. I bet they would love to pass it on in some way. Since he ain’t ever going to look old enough to be a teacher this might be his only shot. Not like I planned on doing anything with this class anyway. What are we doing this weekend?”

I shrugged my shoulders not knowing what the hell to do.

“Has Jack found any leads on targets? Maybe we should get with the Cullens, spar, find out how skilled they are?”

Damn it. He was giving me that look.

“Bella, what are we doing this weekend?” he asked again.

“Learn to dance?”

“That’s my girl! We need to catch a movie too. I ain’t forgot you haven’t seen a big screen yet and eaten some really gooey popcorn covered in butter syrup. Maybe some nachos too. Then back to my pad and I show you how to really shake it up. I’m not talking that pop shit you like so much either.”

I suppose I wouldn’t be going after targets this weekend. Daytime with Esme, night time with Ty.

No Leah.

Maybe Sunday we could hang out.

Of course she probably had something planned with her boyfriend or family. I think regular families did things together on Sunday. To me Sunday had always been just another day, only notable because the weekend shift took over our training while the ones during the week were off.

I think baseball or football also played an important part. Maybe it was basketball. I really didn’t give a damn.

At lunch I didn’t bother going outside. It was raining heavily and as I suspected the Cullens had a seat open for me at their table. Plus they had food. Food that smelt very different from the normal crap this school served.

I sat down quickly, my eyes focused on the bag in front of me.

“What is this?’ I asked, mouth already watering.

“Esme thought you might like something beside the swill they try to pass off as meat here. She made an Italian sub sandwich with pancetta, pepperoni, salami and bacon. The bread is quite good, flaky with…” Edward continued to talk but I had already reached into the bag and grabbed the sandwich which must have been a foot long.

I didn’t even mind that it had lettuce and pickles. With the spicy mustard it tasted like heaven.

I forced myself to slow down, to not tear into it, let my jaw unhinge and force the entire thing into my mouth. The mixture of the different meats together, the vegetables, the soft bread with what tasted like cheese baked inside, it surprised me.

“Wow.” I whispered when I finished. Looking up at the Cullens, they were staring silently at me.

“Esme will be happy to hear that.” Alice told me. “She told us to tell you if you would like she can start preparing lunches for you. Eating this crap has to be hell. We will bring it off course.”

I didn’t take charity and I didn’t need anyone making me lunch.

But it was so good.

“Tell her thank you and that would be great. I’ll be by in the morning to work with her…”

Emmett raised his hand. “Have you seen the Dark Knight trilogy?”

I shook my head. What the hell did that have to do with anything?

“It’s time you learned what the hell a Batman is.” Emmett said. “When you get there, we have a few movies to binge. Esme will ask if she needs help. Bring Charlie. Hawk said he would be there.”

I couldn’t have heard that right. My chip must be malfunctioning and affecting my hearing.

“Hawk said he would be coming over?”

“Dante too.” Rose added. “Come by when you get up. I guess you are hanging out with Ty tomorrow night, learning to dance? I may have listened when I met Jasper outside of history class. I’d be glad to help as well. I’ve been dancing for a couple decades. I need an excuse to get out of the house. Mind if I join you?”

Joined me? Rose?

“I was always been under the impression you kind of hated me Rose.”

“I think we were all full of wrong impressions about you. What do you say?”

“Sure.” If she was willing to fight monsters and risk her undead existence helping me… the girls at the base, it seemed the least I could do to let her hang out.

“By the way, Jack is making you all scramblers.” I told them. “I should have them by Monday. He says replicating them isn’t hard.”

“Thank you, Bella.” Edward whispered. “I can almost hear the silence.”

“That made no sense.” I pointed out.

“If you were me it would.”

The rest of the day passed quickly to my relief. School was so boring I really would rather watch a Caiman sunbathing than sit in this building listening to these teachers. I admit watching Hawk run a gym class was fun. Forks High school students were in the equivalent of a bootcamp this semester and it was beginning to show on their faces.

By the time I had unpacked my bags, Leah was knocking at my door. I knew it was her because the ache went away. I had become so used to it, I didn’t notice until it disappeared.

I hurried down the stairs and what I saw disturbed me. She looked… exhausted. From her eyes I guessed she had not been sleeping. I hadn’t been resting well myself, disturbing dreams waking me several times a night, but I wondered if she had slept at all.

“You are not okay.” I told her.

“I look that good, huh?” she asked, s slight smile on her face with no humor behind it.

“Is the ache getting worse?”

Leah shook her head and walked past me inside to the couch. I followed and sat on the opposite end. As usual I wanted to be much closer and as usual, I knew this would be a bad idea.

“It’s the same. It doesn’t hurt… the pain isn’t worse but I have this need… to be… that isn’t why I am here. I need advice I guess.”

Advice? What the hell kind of advice could I give about anything besides stalking and killing?

“Of course. What can I do?”

Leah took a deep breath and angled herself on the couch so she could look at me.

“I know this is probably wrong of me to ask, but I want to know. You loved Julie.”

“I do love her, I mean yeah, I guess since she is gone you could say loved but… I don’t want to. I still love her. There will never be a time I won’t love her.”

Leah nodded her head as if expecting this and I was still not sure what the hell was going on with her.

“If you wouldn’t mind, could you tell me about it? About her? Tell me what you… how did you know you were in love? When? What did it make you feel like?”

I felt for a second like the wind had been knocked out of me. I never expected to be asked that.

“Julie was… I…”

“I’m sorry. It’s too soon. I should go.” Leah told me hurriedly and stood up.

“Sit.” I told her. She stood for a moment longer and carefully sat back down. I leaned back against the sofa and looked at the ceiling.

“Julie.” I whispered, not sure how to begin. I decided the beginning was the most logical place, barring any mentions of secret laboratories where monsters were bred.

That wasn’t correct though. Julie was never a monster.

“I told you I went to an exclusive school from a young age. Julie and I were best friends, pretty much my whole life. She wasn’t… she wasn’t as strong as me. She was gentler, more loving, more compassionate. I always took care of her as best I could. I was always protective of her.

The… teachers we had, I suspect they didn’t like us to be close. We were all one… large family I guess you could say. We treated each other like sisters but… something about her, we were never sisters. We were more. She made me feel better with a smile. I made her feel safe. She made me laugh and I held her when she cried. When we were fifteen… she had a bad day.”

I closed my eyes and thought back to that fateful day. It was a very bad day, one that I would never forget. She had been going through a regeneration study. Dr Springer had stabbed her in the back with a silver blade and it took hours to heal.

“She was tired afterward, upset and I took her to my room. We weren’t supposed to have other girls in our room but I couldn’t let her be alone. I held her for hours, our faces inches apart. Then… she kissed me. I had never been kissed before. We didn’t stop. We held each other all night. Of course in the morning we were caught.” I told Leah.

We hadn’t meant to be. Neither of us could let go of the other. We promised we would stay up and sneak her back into her bedroom before morning call but we feel asleep.

It wasn’t long after the guard found us in my bed that I was called to face Mother.

Mother was not happy to say the least.

“Bella,’ she told me, “romantic love is a weakness. You have had lessons on how to take care of your sexual urges in your own quarters. You are my strongest weapon, my strongest warrior. What happened with Julie cannot happen again. I am going to have to punish one of you to set an example. I will let you decide who it should be.”

“Me.” I told her immediately. “Do what you want to me, just don’t hurt her, please? I’ll do whatever you wish, volunteer for every test, if you will please not hurt her.”

Mother motioned to me to kneel so I did, at her feet as always. She ran her fingers though my hair like I was her damn pet. She did it often in front of the others, I suspected to show her dominance over me and by extension them.

“Bella, Julie is weak. She is the weakest one of you all. You know this. She was nearly killed in her training session with the newborn vampire. She won’t last long in the field. Do not become so attached to her.”

“I already am. I have always been. I can make her stronger, work with her more, anything. Please don’t punish her.”

Mother sighed as if disappointed. I’m really not sure now if she was or she was playing with me, like she always did.

“You love her. I have noticed before this. Tell me, how do I know she will not make you weak? What if she makes you weaker instead of you making her stronger?”

“I’m stronger with her Mother. I swear it.”

“Rise and follow my Bella.”

I did as I was told, relieved, expecting her to punish me and praying that she didn’t punish both of us.

We entered the furnace room. I had never been inside but always suspected this to be the place where bodies of the subjects who died were burned.

There were steam pipes on the floor next to the furnace and I could feel the heat from thirty feet away. I knew what was coming.

“If she truly makes you stronger then prove it.” Mother told me.

“Whatever it takes, Mother.”

“Go next to the furnace and place a hand on each of the steam pipes. They are over two hundred degrees in temperature. Hold onto them and do not let go until I give you permission. If she means so much to you, if she can truly make you stronger, this shouldn’t be a problem.”

I didn’t ask how long I had to hold them or hesitate. I grabbed the damn things. My incisors dropped, my claws extended and my body seized up but I did not scream. Everything inside me wanted to scream but I would not show weakness. If Mother thought Julie made me weak, she would kill her, I just knew it.

To this day I am not sure how long Mother made me hold those damn pipes. I knew it was difficult to let go when she gave me permission, I know I left flesh on them and my palms were ruined.

They would heal. It was just pain. The toll was exhausting though.

“Come to me Bella.”,

I tried to walk towards her but landed on my knees. Knowing she would not ask me twice I crawled to her feet. She knelt and placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look at her.

“She does make you strong, doesn’t she? What would you do if I let you have her? Would you show this strength always?”

“Yes Mother.”

“Would you show your sisters the way? The warrior’s way? To only submit to their makers? No one else, even if it means death?”

“Yes Mother, anything.”

“Bella, I will give you Julie. She will not be given favored treatment. You may have her in your quarters though. She is not your pet though. She answers to me, the same as you do. She is important to you, you love her but do not forget who gives you joy. Who do you seek to please, always?”

“You mother.”

“And that will never change. Do you know why I am giving her to you?”

I nodded my head. Of course I knew why. Mother loved me and was giving me a gift.

“Because you love me.”

“Never forget it Bella. I only want what is best for you. As long as she proves not to be a weakness you may keep her. If I ever see the slightest bit of weakness in you, I will have her disposed of. I want what is best for you above all. Never show weakness Bella and she will be yours.”

“Thank you so much Mother.”

“Hush now. I love you Bella. I only want you happy. Go to Dr. Springers lab. Let him observe how long it takes your palms to heal then go to your room. Julie will be waiting for you.”

“Bella?”

I opened my eyes, remembering that I had been talking to Leah. I had become so lost in the memory, it was as if I was reliving it. Mother hurt me, but she could have killed Julie. She let her be with me. No other Jaguar had ever been given that privilege before. All I had to do was prove I was not weak and she had mercy, gave me what I wanted to make me happy.

“I’m sorry Leah. I was thinking about… Julie.”

“You’re crying. This was a bad idea…”

“No!” I told her quickly. “You want to know how I felt around her. I will tell you. She made me warm with a look. No matter what was going on, I could take comfort when she was near. She was ticklish, just under her ribs. I could hold her down and she would laugh until she cried. At night she would stay tucked into my side, her head on my shoulder and turned towards me. She purred often and loved to have the back of her neck stroked softly. She was funny. When we were in… class, and no one was looking Julie would make the funniest of faces at me and I had to hold in my laughter but it still felt good.”

I took a deep breath and tried to force back the tears, wiping the ones already on my face.

“We would sit up for hours when we should have been asleep. I knew all her secrets and she knew mine. We would talk about what we would do if life was different, if we could be anything we wanted to be. Julie always said she wanted to be an astronaut. That never changed. She loved the idea of floating among the stars. She even told me she would build us a space ship for two so we could be alone, away from this world.”

Despite the difficulties I realized it felt good to talk about her. No one in my life now knew her. She was an abstract thought, Bella’s dead ex-girlfriend. No one knew her for the person she was.

“When she kissed me, I felt as if I was a part of her. She would touch my cheek and I would lean into her palm every time like I had no choice. I guess I didn’t. She told the worst jokes, so bad you had to laugh. I don’t know what else I could say. There were so many little things I can’t even put words to them. The way I felt when she did little things, or told me she was proud of me, or even when she cried if I was hurt. She made life worth living, no matter how bad it was. She was the one good thing I had in my life. As much as it hurts not having her, I will never regret her being in my life. I will see her again. I know I will. I have to. If there is any justice in this damn universe, I will see her again.”

I looked towards Leah and was surprised to see her crying silently as well.

“Leah? Are you okay?”

She shook her head. “You didn’t go to an exclusive school, did you Bella? You were somewhere and they hurt you, didn’t they? You and Julie?”

“That doesn’t matter now. What’s wrong? Why do you want to know about Julie?”

“Sam asked me last night to move to Seattle with him for College next year. He told me… he told me he loved me.”

I did my best to keep my face neutral, not show any jealousy I had no right to. Of course he loved her. How could someone not? She was beautiful, stubborn and still kind. What was there not to love?

“Okay. That’s a bad thing?”

Leah nodded her head. “Everything you just described, the way you loved her, love her, I have never felt once in my life. I’ve tried to do the things I should, the things that make me appear normal I guess you could say. I’ve said the right things and gone on dates with guys I don’t give a damn about because my Dad would want me to. I’ve never felt anything at all like you just described. For a long time I just didn’t think it was possible for me. Maybe it still isn’t. Maybe I’m… I couldn’t lie to him.”

“What happened?”

Leah shook her head and leaned forward hands on her knees and staring at the floor.

“I told him I didn’t love him. I tried to tell him I liked him as a person but I just… I told him I thought it was best if we ended things. I didn’t love him Bella. I tried to convince myself I did. I wanted to. It would make life so much easier, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lie. I felt like a fraud and I wanted it to end. He didn’t take it well, I guess. He didn’t say anything really, just walked away. I told my Mom what happened when I got home and Dad heard and freaked and I yelled at him, told him to go to hell. Mom was upset and I locked myself in my room. It was all over school before lunch time that I had broken up with Sam. I knew people were talking about me, everyone was stealing glances, whispering. Sam and his friends went out of their way to ignore me. I have no doubt his dumb ass friends like Paul will be talking shit about me this weekend. I couldn’t do it anymore though. You get that, right?”

I said nothing, knowing she wasn’t really asking me. Of course I got that in a way. I had never been loved by someone I didn’t love. My relationship experience like my life was unique and in no way comparable to human relationships.

Instead of answering I moved closer to her, wrapped my arms around her shoulders and brought her into my body. She lay her head on my shoulder and cried. We sat like that for an hour or so. I held her and she cried. Charlie came home, saw us on the couch and walked out again without a word, nodding towards me in understanding. As many friends as he had in La Push, he probably already knew that the golden boy of the tribe had been dumped by Harry Clearwater’s daughter.

Leah finally moved away from me as the sky darkened outside and wiped her eyes.

“Thanks. For being here. And for letting me, you know.”

I smiled at her and wiped a tear from her cheek.

“That’s what friends are for, right?”

Leah laughed softly.

“You’re a lot better at this friend stuff than you give yourself credit for. I really don’t want to go home tonight. You mind if I crash here ?”

“Of course. As long as you promise not to start any major home renovation projects.”

“Ice cream and Netflix sound alright?”

“Sounds perfect.” I agreed.

I barely slept that night. Leah snored away peacefully and I admitted to myself that is was kind of cute. I couldn’t rest though. She was in pain and that bothered me greatly. I couldn’t understand what she was going through and that bothered me even more. I couldn’t help her. I could just be here for her but it didn’t feel like it was enough.

She left in the morning. I don’t think she wanted to leave and I didn’t want her to go into a house filled with tension but neither of us could change that.

Saturday was fun though. I started at the Cullens, watching movies all morning long and ended at Ty’s where Rosalie and Alice joined us. We all went to a movie theater and for the first time ever I saw what the big deal was. The movie was called Beauty and the Beast. I had never seen something that grand. The music, the scenery, even the characters astounded me. I did my best not to relate to the Beast. Then again perhaps I could turn into some beautiful human one day. It was a nice dream anyway.

We returned to Ty’s place and I picked up dancing fairly easy. It even felt natural. Perhaps being part jungle cat helped. No one talked all day about monsters or missions I had gone on. The only reminder of my former life was Esme showing me the land she had started a purchase on earlier that day, a large area in an uninhabited part of Alaska. It was the kind of place a plane could crash and never be found. It was beautiful.

Saturday night I didn’t bother going home. I ran to La Push instead. I followed the feeling in my gut and made my way to what must have been Leah’s house. I had been here before and just like then, the pain in my chest disappeared.

I listened inside and heard no arguing, just the sound of television in what must have been the living room and the quiet sound of music, no doubt from the headphones Leah must have been listening to. I heard four heartbeats so I knew they were all home.

Leah needed sleep. She had a lot going on and maybe a night without the pain I seemed to have somehow caused, would help her. I couldn’t do anything else but I could do this.

For some inexplicable reason I sent Charlie a text, saying I would be out all night. I found a branch in the tallest tree near the back of her house and laid down on my stomach. I was no stranger to sleeping in trees. I wished I had brought one of my tactical suits because these jeans would no doubt be ruined by the wet branches but I could handle it.

Before I closed my eyes, my phone alerted me to a text. I thought it would be Charlie but surprisingly it was Leah asking me to call her.

She answered right away.

“You are near, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I knew it. My chest feels so much better. Do you want to stay the night? My Mom won’t have a problem with it. Or if you don’t want to deal with the drama, I can let you in through my window. I keep the door locked, so you won’t have to see my Dad, I mean you won’t have to deal with my family.”

That idea sounded so appealing.

“No Leah. I’ll be here all night. You won’t hurt tonight. Just sleep, okay?”

I heard nothing for a moment.

“You are outside, aren’t you? You can’t sleep outside Bella.”

If she only knew how many times, I had slept outside in my territory in the jungle it would shock her. Sleeping outside was nothing new. We did it often on training hunts.

“I’m fine. I’m a pretty good camper. Please, just sleep Leah. You need it.”

I ended the call and listened until I saw her light go out and minutes later heard her snoring. Then my eyes closed and I didn’t wake until well after dawn. I listened before I left, heard her at the breakfast table and no one was arguing. Maybe it would be a good day for her.

Arriving home twenty minutes later, I found Charlie up, a cup of coffee in his hand, reading the newspaper at the kitchen counter.

“Hey there.” he greeted me.

“Hi.”

“You hungry? I thought I would wait a bit on breakfast until you got home. Unless you would rather have the house to yourself? I can go to the diner or give you money…”

“Please stop.” I told him.

He nodded his head sheepishly.

“I mean… you don’t have to do this, all of this, because you feel guilty. I realize I was hard on you when I moved here. I blamed you but it wasn’t your fault. I’m not sure who is at fault, but I can’t sit here and tell you I would have done anything different. Don’t punish yourself anymore. You don’t have to do all this just to please me. It’s okay.”

“I’m doing it because I want to. I know you will never see me as a father, but I see you as my daughter. I’m going to stand by your side no matter what hell comes our way and I am doing it because I want to. I’m not trying to be nice because I feel guilty. I loved you from the moment I saw you and seventeen years later nothing has changed about my feelings. I do feel guilty as hell and I always will, but I’m not doing this because I am punishing myself. I just want to make you happy. You want pancakes?”

Mother said she wanted me happy. All that happiness brought me was pain.

But he wasn’t Mother.

He hadn’t tried to hurt me. Maybe he never would.

“Yeah. That would be great. Thank you.”

I poured a cup of coffee while he began preparing a meal that had absolutely no meat. I recently discovered coffee did taste good with cream and sugar. Pancakes weren’t my favorite but the syrup was amazing.

We ate in mostly silence. He asked where I had been the night before. I told him I slept in a tree. He asked me if I would like him to find a small tree to move into my room.

Despite myself I laughed, surprising both of us.

“So got big plans today?” Charlie asked after we had cleaned our dishes.

“No plans. What about you?”

“Nothing. Just figured I would hang out around the house today.”

I moved towards the stairs, planning to spend the day in my bedroom reading or figuring out what other things I could find on the internet. Perhaps look at missing person’s reports from my area.

Instead I walked back into the kitchen.

“So Sundays, they are usually kind of a relaxed family day or something right?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I guess. I never really had… I mean yeah, others just tend to stay in or watch sports, maybe visit family. That sort of thing. Why?”

That was the question. Why did I care?

“You think you might want to do something… I mean with me?”

He nodded his head quickly.

“Anything you want. Got something in mind?”

“You go fishing with Black right? You have a boat?”

“Yeah, I have a small outboard I keep at a rental shed in La Push.”

“I’ve never caught a fish before without using my hands. Want to show me how?”

Judging by the bright smile on his face I figured he wouldn’t mind.

“Yes, that is definitely something I would love to show you.”