Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Seeing Red

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 17: Change can be good

Caitlin Snow walked the nearly deserted, dimly lit halls that characterized the Block at 3 AM. Only three nurses remained awake for what was basically a suicide watch. Since the blonde had left the hospital bed for a private room, there was very little to do in the way of monitoring, besides listening for screams and the one drug they seem to have perfected was the sedative. When Kara took the pill at its higher dosage she slept at least eight hours and did not have many nightmares, at least ones she could remember. Sure, she had tossed and turned all night, dumping Alex out of her bed, a few times but Caitlin had a theory that it had more to do with the antipsychotic or antidepressant she took at night. During her afternoon naps at a lower dosage she hardly moved.

So, the only other concern was her waking up and attempting suicide. Whether it was from the drugs, as her hallucination attempted to sway her, or from the fact that she was suicidal before she was brought here, though she would never admit it, there were protocols in place to keep her from harming herself.

Dr. Snow had not been surprised to find Eliza, Alex, Clark and Kara in the same bed, the large one in Jeremiah and Eliza’s quarters. They were all a tangle of limbs, Clark in between them. As she suspected, without the other medications Kara lay still in her sleep, barely moving apart from the rise and fall of her chest.

Caitlin also had another suspicion confirmed when she walked to Jeremiah Danvers personal lab and found the man awake, staring at a computer monitor.

“Do you sleep? If I didn’t know better, I would think you were Batman.” Caitlin greeted him.

Jeremiah gave a small grin and motioned towards a seat next to his.

Caitlin was unsurprised to see the monitor had a view of a virtual female body, faceless and electronic in form but showing different information about the form.

At this moment, he had Kara’s DNA sequence pulled up.

“Are you afraid of my daughter, Caitlin?” he asked, surprising her.

Not sure how to answer this and deciding he wasn’t asking about Alex, she decided to go with honestly, and hoped it didn’t hurt their new burgeoning friendship she had with the married scientists apart.

“Yes.” she answered, and waited tensely for his response.

Instead of becoming upset or offended, the man just nodded, eyes still on the monitor but changing to a scan, that showed her solar energy absorption rates.

“Don’t worry, I’m not surprised. The fact that you admitted it tells me how honest you are, not that I doubted it before. A lot of humans and aliens of this world are afraid of her. Kara is gentle and loving with us, can be with our friends and loves to help the innocent, especially children. Those she deems threats however, have every right to be afraid of her. Kara attacks those she decides are a threat to her loved ones with the same viciousness as a cornered wild predator would attack a hunter. You may find this hard to believe, but she is more afraid of you than you will ever fear her.”

Caitlin found that hard to believe but she supposed it made sense that he would think that.

“Kara is driven by a lot of things. She has low self-esteem, seeing herself as little more than a killer at times, despite the people she has saved. She is driven by guilt, the memory of those she couldn’t save, constantly in her head. She is driven by anger, anger at her birth family on Krypton, angry at her aunt who she found out was a killer bent on world domination, anger at herself for bringing danger into our lives. But her biggest motivation, the biggest emotion that drives her is fear. Fear is her constant companion. Fear of losing everything she has, again, especially us. At least it was her biggest driving force. I am hoping that changes here. I hope love will be her driving force, and maybe this is the turning point.”

Caitlin really took the man in as he was talking, very tired, bloodshot eyes flipping through various details of Kara’s physiology, the programs that were offline from the Block, that only him and his wife and apparently some flying robot in Antarctica had access to.

“You don’t have to do the surgery. I can do it, Shay could do it. I know the idea of giving her anything frightens you. I can imagine the stress of cutting into her will be intense.”

Jeremiah shook his head. “She will be awake. There is no way she would ever feel comfortable enough for anyone else to do it. One her recurring nightmares growing up was being strapped to a bed and cut open by Government scientists. If it was anyone besides me, she would have a panic attack of epic proportions and make her withdrawals seem like a fun day on the beach. Alex could never bring herself to cut into Kara. I don’t like it, but it must be me. I am still trying to decide the best place to put the damn crystal.” he admitted.

“Her collar bone seems safe enough, but it isn’t protected as much as I like.” He continued. “The back of her femur possibly but I… that is a lot of muscle to damage and after the surgery we aren’t sure how well the painkillers will work. Cutting into that much muscle could take her months, maybe a year to recover. I don’t want to be near her spine and I don’t want any impediment to her arms and hands, so it seems the collar bone it is.”

Caitlin was confused at the man’s tone. He seemed almost resigned to the fact even though it was his idea in the first place.

“You are the one who decided it would be the best site, correct?” she asked, watching the man’s body language. Of course, at this point, he was probably too tired to move, much less tense up or give any other indication of his true feelings.

“Yeah, I did.”

“And you are placing it under her clavicle and securing it with surgical wire. It should be protected.”

“From everything but her. If Kara thinks there is something only she can handle, something the world needs her for, that only she can fight, she won’t hesitate to take a knife and cut it out, cut the wires and remove it. She would heal instantly when her powers returned.”

Caitlin nearly recoiled from the thought, the idea making her feel nauseous.

“There is absolutely no way she could do that. Cut a hole in her shoulder and pull a crystal which has been secured to her collar bone? That’s not possible.” she hoped. Everyone had their limits, right?

“Would you believe it if I told you a girl could break her own fingers repeatedly? Or that she could use her own fingernails to pry apart her forearm, looking for an artery? Would you think it would be possible for someone to burn themselves to the point of third degree burns without screaming? Kara can deal with pain and if she thought her family or friends were in danger she would not hesitate to take a knife to herself.”

Dr. Snow shook her head, refusing to think about that. She knew Kara had a history of self-harm, but the man must have been exaggerating. No one could do that much damage to themselves. Everyone had a limit.

But she also detected no lies in his voice. He meant it, he lived it. How much emotional trauma did Kara Danvers truly have? Of course, she knew that the girl had serious illnesses but to that degree?

Not wanting to focus on that but knowing the man would talk about nothing else except this surgery and was thinking of alternate sites he could safely put the crystal without a lengthy rehab, she turned the focus on the surgery itself.

“I think with the medication she will be on, that sort of violence and degree of self-harm wouldn’t be possible. We will make sure it isn’t before she leaves here. What about Eliza? Will she be assisting in the operation?”

Jeremiah shook his head.

“Ever since… ever since she found Kara after her last suicide attempt, she has anxiety attacks whenever she sees blood. She doesn’t lose consciousness, but they are worse if… Kara was hit by a White Martian on television. Those are one of the few creatures in this Universe that can hit her hard enough to cause blood. They have talons that can cut her. They can’t pierce her suit, but the areas not covered by the suit, more areas than I would prefer can be cut easily. I suspect she was drunk and couldn’t get out of the way in time. His talon cut her cheek, not badly but enough that by the time she finally grabbed the Martian and flew it out of the city, a noticeable amount of blood had gotten onto her face. Eliza saw it in a close up on television and nearly fainted, started hyperventilating, Hamilton had to sedate her. Kara doesn’t know. Jess actually referred Eliza to a psychiatrist for medication.”

“You said Kara took the Martian out of the city? Was it to protect civilians?”

Jeremiah hesitated for a moment, his face cringing a bit, debating whether he should tell Caitlin the truth. Of course, she had seen Kara at her worst, so there was no reason not to.

“That was part of the reason. The biggest reason was Kara wanted to kill him. When she fights to kill, she goes to a very dark place and unleashes, holds nothing back. She can’t afford to be seen fighting like that in front of cameras. When she does it, she isn’t fighting a White Martian. She is fighting ghosts that she desperately wants to kill, but they won’t seem to go away, ever.”

Caitlin had seen Kara fighting one of those creatures on television. She knew the exact moment he was talking about. When Supergirl had grabbed the creature from behind and shot off with him, out of the city and the view of cameras, the coverage was over. She assumed like the rest of the public that Supergirl was taking the thing to some alien prison.

That was what the public wanted to believe. They wanted to see a hero battling a monster. They did not want to see a monster fighting a monster. They did not want so to see a young girl trying to kill enemies that had been long dead but still haunted her.

“What are you doing up, Caitlin? Until the surgery the drugs can’t really be modified anymore, or dosages determined. You should take advantage, get some sleep and rest for the remainder of the week.”

Caitlin hesitated now, considering telling the man the reason she could not sleep. He had so much worry though, bringing up her problem seemed selfish.

Jeremiah noted the hesitation and became very interested. It was obvious there was something bothering Caitlin and it had nothing to do with fearing his daughter.

“Seriously, Caitlin, I would love to have something to take my mind off this. I know you left your family and friends to help us. We don’t know each other well but you can talk to me. Right now, you look like something is bothering you and you need a friend to talk to.”

She took a deep breath, figuring he may be right. Maybe she shouldn’t keep this secret to herself. Studying others was a strong point for Caitlin. Studying herself was not as easy.

Caitlin showed her hand to Jeremiah.

“I’m more afraid of myself than your daughter. This happened, and I don’t know how to fix it, but it scares me.”

Before Jeremiah’s eyes, Caitlin Snow’s hand turned to ice, cold enough to change the temperature in the large lab.

To her relief and his credit, the man did not panic, or show fear. Instead he leaned closer, seeming to examine her skin as closely as possible.

“Can you make it stop?”

“Not easily.” Caitlin admitted, but did try and brought the cold back into herself, her hand resuming its former form.

“Does Barry know?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want any of them to know, not yet. Not until I can get some semblance of control over this. Being… her makes me feel, different. I feel colder, but not physically. I feel like every time this happens, who I am is changing along with my body.”

Jeremiah nodded his head. “I need to bring Eliza into this. I won’t tell Alex or Kara, so they won’t have to keep this from Barry. We’ll need a blood sample to start. Barry will be here Saturday. The surgery is going to be Sunday, so I want her to have a day… by the time the surgery is over, and Kara can no longer hear everything, we will have the baseline data we need and begin figuring this out. We will figure this out.”

Caitlin was surprised, that being the last thing she expected.

“You would help me?”

The man looked at her, surprised.

“Even if you hadn’t walked away from your life to help my daughter, I would help you, Caitlin. I know how hard it can be on a person to be different, to have powers that scare them. I’ve seen what it can do to a girl. We will help you. My wife and I will figure this out with you. If we can’t get rid of this, we can help you control it, so it doesn’t control you. First things first, tell me how this happened.”

Caitlin shook off her surprise and felt like a weight had been lifted. Perhaps she couldn’t be fixed but she wouldn’t have to deal with this alone, or worse, ask her mother for help.

“I have no idea how this happened. I was taken to Earth 2 for a while and was present when my doppelganger was killed, I was… maybe it was always there. I don’t really know the reason it happened. I suppose it was after Zoom was defeated, the I began noticing streaks of white in my hair. I would wake up and my room would have melting ice all over the place. Then I became angry and my hand turned to… what you saw.”

Caitlin continued with the story, having Jeremiah’s complete attention. By the time she finished the man nodded his head.

“When Kara first arrived on this planet, her heat vision first appeared when she was frightened by a bear. The more frightened or angry she became, the hotter her heat vision burned. The emotions you have over your past, over the betrayals by those you trusted, could be a key in activating these powers. Okay, so we have a lot to figure out. Let’s take a blood sample and begin.”

The Louvre, Paris, France

Though there were numerous sections of the Louvre closed off to the public, nothing was closed off to Bruce Wayne. He could have made an appointment, could have had an escort to provide a tour of the building, blending in and asking quietly to see the restoration areas and meet her by chance.

Instead the man went with the more direct approach. Having an element of surprise would be best in his mind, catch the woman off guard. Despite not knowing her powers, or even if she had any besides aging incredibly well, Bruce figured seeing her at work would lessen the chance of an attack. If she was hostile, it would be a simple matter to leave and then suit up. Meeting the head curator who scurried when he found out that Bruce Wayne had arrived, Batman made his move.

“I would like to speak to Diana Prince, privately, if that would be no problem.”

“Of course, Monsieur Wayne. I will escort you…”

“Just point the way, if you please.”

After getting directions, something desperately needed without Alfred telling him how to navigate the labyrinth that was the largest museum in the world, he found himself in an open area, of large sculptures, being meticulously worked on. Restored would not be the correct term, more of maintenance since the pieces seemed in incredible shape, considering what must have been thousands of years of aging.

He wondered how many years the woman he was watching in the white dress had accumulated.

“Diana Prince?”

The beautiful woman looked down at him from the steps she was standing on and smiled.

“Yes, I am Diana. How can I help you? Visitors are not often allowed in this area of the museum.”

“Yes, I understand that. I suppose you could say that I am friends with people who have friends. It is important that I talk to you, alone. Would you have a few minutes?”

The woman smiled wider, perfect white teeth glistening and eyes squinting.

“Of course. Follow me.”

Bruce followed her for what must have been two minutes, down increasingly empty hallways. He was beginning to rethink his belief that she would not attack him at her place of work, and wished he had brought more weapons. The bodysuit of Kryptonian material he wore under his suit should protect him from most anything, giving him an advantage in a fight, and time to counterstrike.

It also did not escape his attention that she either did not know him and yet had not asked his name, or that she knew exactly who Bruce Wayne was and showed no surprise that he had shown up, unannounced, wishing to speak to her.

This had Batman on high alert. It had already been a long night before, finding out that Lobo had completed his contract and turned Darhk over to the police, only to take the man from the police and kill him. Now he could be walking into a trap with an unknown metahuman.

It was worth the risk. With Kara gone from the picture, an organized team of special individuals to fill the void she would leave in the world was more essential than ever. If this woman was an enemy, she needed to be dealt with. If she was a potential ally, he had to make contact and determine if she could be an asset.

By the time, they had reached her rather large office filled with antiques behind her and bare concrete walls on either side of him, there was no doubt that this area was very deserted. Kara could fight a White Martian in this office and no one would be the wiser.

Instead of taking a seat, Diana leaned back against her desk, her hands on the edges, eyes never leaving the man.

“So, what can I do for the richest man in the world?” she asked.

Bruce grinned a bit. She hadn’t played her hand upstairs but knew exactly who he was. He supposed after at least a hundred years, it would be hard to break her facade of calm.

The man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a photo.

“I found a very old photograph, I believe it is from the Great War. I was wondering if you would look at it and tell me exactly what this woman’s interest in Kara Danvers is?”

He handed her the photo and for the first time, her face showed something other than amusement. Bruce was good at reading people and he could read surprise, hurt, a deep sadness in her eyes.

Then her eyes hardened, and she placed the photo on the desk behind her.

“I would need more information before I can answer that. What exactly is your interest in this Kara Danvers you speak of? A new paramour? I suspect if the stories are true, you go through them often. Why would a man of your stature be interested in her?”

Bruce had not expected that. He suspected she would make a comment about the woman’s likeness to herself, perhaps pass her off as a distant relative. She showed no inclination to doing either.

“I am friends with her family. Her family and I are concerned that a woman who does not age, took an interest in her while she was in college. I want to know why. Who are you? Who are you really?”

Bruce did not have time to gauge her reaction. He had time for nothing, barely even seeing the blur, but feeling the hand on his throat lifting him up and pressing him to the concrete wall, off his feet.

“I have no interest in your concern and you do not have friends, Batman. I know the blonde in a cape flying around the United States is not Kara Danvers, so I have my own questions. The most important one is what did you do to her. More will follow including the identity of the impostor.”

Bruce hit the ground hard, and jumped to his feet, nearly immediately, despite having his wind knocked out and trying to regain breath, now that his throat was no longer being squeezed. The man tried to raise his hands in a defensible stance.

Instead he found his entire torso wrapped in a glowing rope that was very warm, bordering on uncomfortable. The rope was held by the woman he had come to visit, who was no longer smiling, her face set in stone and too calm for the situation. She knew he was Batman and had not one look of concern on her face. She seemed to put together, telling Batman that she was much more powerful than he suspected, and he would not put up a challenge to her.

“So, you do have skills, besides aging well. Are you a Kryptonian?”

Diana did not answer, watching him carefully and not surprised to see an almost excited look on his face. She knew that he wouldn’t be intimidated, judging by the company he kept.

“What I am in not your chief concern right now. You will tell me what you have done with Supergirl. Is she dead?”

Bruce thought about asking her another question instead of answering, but as he thought of what to ask, the rope grew hotter. If not for Kara’s Kryptonian material, he would probably be burned and wondered how long even that material could stand up to whatever this thing was. He had an idea it was magical in nature and he knew that when it came to magic, all bets were off, even in Kara’s case. The two had found that out the hard way in the past on a case.

“Where Kara Danvers is… I won’t tell you, not unless you convince me you aren’t a… damn it! What is this thing?” he asked, starting to let a bit of the pain he was feeling in his voice.

Bruce and Kara spent a weekend working on a new weapons upgrade for the Batmobile as she insisted it be called. During that weekend she had sung every Mama Mia song over seven times. He thought after that he would be immune to pain. He was wrong.

“Do not bother trying to lie. It will only hurt worse. You will tell me the truth. Do not try and resist.”

Despite his brain desperately trying to come up with solutions out of this rope, he found himself speaking regardless.

“She is not dead.” he told her, voice breaking from the strain.

“Where is she?”

Doing his best to keep his mouth closed, it opened regardless.

“In an underground facility in Kentucky.”

Deciding there was no way out, his best bet would be not to resist. Answer her questions. Diana Prince could not keep him tied in the underground section of the Louvre forever. Too many people had seen him walk in, knew he was here and who he was here to see. She couldn’t kill him, and she couldn’t keep him. Perhaps if he did not resist, once he was free, he would at least have a chance to fight, perhaps reach the small box in his coat pocket that carried a Kryptonite ring in it, in case she was Kryptonian. If she was not, he had no idea what to do with her.

“Was it you who placed her there?”

“Yes.”

“You took her prisoner?” the woman asked, her eyes growing colder. He saw that look in Kara’s eyes many times in battle. It was the look of a woman who had killed before and was close to doing it again. He now reevaluated his belief that she would not kill him here.

“Yes… no… not… its complicated.”

Diana pulled Bruce closer to her, the rope tightening.

“I would suggest you make it uncomplicated.”

Bruce gritted his teeth and flexed, trying anything to loosen the rope, to give him a chance at taking her down somehow. The man had a suspicion that taking her down would be as impossible as taking Kara down while fully powered.

“Do not resist.” she told him calmly. “Why did you take Kara prisoner?”

“Rehab!” Bruce shouted. Whatever power this rope had was nearly breaking his willpower, not something easy to do. “She was dying, killing herself, wouldn’t stop drinking. Her family could not get her to agree to go into treatment, so they asked me to bring her. I took her to a secure facility and she went through withdrawals. She is still there, under her own free will now and being treated.”

Bruce felt the rope loosen and release him, being wrapped in a coil in her hand and no longer glowing, now resembling a simple golden colored lasso. Diana motioned towards a chair to the side of the desk and walked around to hers. It didn’t escape his attention that she looked very… sad? Resigned? No, she looked like someone who had her fears confirmed.

“I think I would rather you had imprisoned her. At least I could have gotten her out.” Diana whispered.

“Who are you?” Bruce asked, trying to take control of this conversation, since she now knew more about him and Kara than he knew about her. This had not gone the way he expected.

Of course, being wrapped in a glowing lie detector by a woman with super strength and speed was not something he had planned for. The strength and speed, yes, he knew it was a possibility. The supernatural lie detector was admittedly a surprise.

“My name is Diana Prince. You already know that. Thank you for saving me a trip. I had a flight scheduled tonight to visit Gotham City. If anyone would know why there was an impostor of Supergirl in the world, it would be you. When you disappeared for the past ten days, I suspected you were involved in her disappearance.”

Bruce leaned back in his chair to give the appearance of relaxation. Until he knew more he would not relax, but the way the woman sat now, showed him no hostility. Instead he saw concern.

“How did you know…”

“Do not ask that. As you know, I have become very good over the last century at hiding my true nature. Discovering other’s true nature is not difficult if one knows what to look for. You said she was killing herself? In what way? Only alcohol? What sort of alcohol could harm a girl like her?”

Bruce, debated not telling her. He saw benefit in the truth, perhaps getting her to open up more. He also saw no reason to discuss Kara’s personal life, more than was already forced from him.

“I won’t answer that question. It isn’t your business.” he told her, prepared to move at a moment’s notice if she showed any inclination to reaching for the rope that now lay on her desk.

“How were you able to capture her?”

The man smirked, knowing this was a test. She wanted to know if he was really a friend of Kara’s or lying to her.

“I won’t tell you her weaknesses. Your lie detector can do all the damage it wants, burn me to nothing but I will never betray that secret.”

Diana nodded, seeming satisfied with the sincerity in his voice if nothing else.

“The impostor is another alien I would guess. Whoever he or she is, is doing a poor job of imitating her mannerisms. Will she live?”

“Yes.” Bruce told her. “If you want any more information, I am afraid you will have to be so kind as to answer my questions. You were discovered by Lex Luthor. I found this photo on his server and deleted it. Any information he had on you in digital form is gone. I cannot say the same for information in his head. He is interested in you, in others. Are you Kryptonian?”

Diana shook her head. “No, I am a god and an Amazon. Demigod, but still a god regardless. Lex Luthor is no worry for me. Unlike you, Batman, when I fight a war, I end it decisively. Kara and I have that in common. I was raised to be a warrior, and in war, either enemies die, or you do. That is something you seem to not understand. That is the reason you fight the same enemies over and over again.”

Bruce watched her carefully. She was talking to him, but it was obvious her mind was on other things. She called herself a demigod? What type of metahuman was this? She also apparently shared Kara’s views on dealing with enemies.

“You could have called me or had an anonymous source warn me of this danger you think Lex Luthor poses. Instead you visited me personally, knowing that if I knew who Supergirl was, it would likely expose you as well. You never planned to keep your identity a secret as you knew I had secrets of my own. Why? Why take the risk to see me?”

“I…”

“You need me.” Diana realized, before Bruce could say the worlds. “She isn’t coming back, is she?”

The man shook his head.

“No, she isn’t. As far as needing you, the world needs you. I am forming a team of special individuals who can make a difference, be stronger together than apart. The world will need defenders, those who can step into the void that will be left from Supergirl’s absence. You could be a part of that, a symbol of hope, the one the world needs to…”

Diana laughed, her suspicions about the man’s visit correct.

“You think I have stayed in the shadows for over one hundred years, so I can step out now because you asked? The world does not need a symbol. Mankind will live or die by their own choices. When has the behavior, the hope of the world become a young girl? If mankind cannot keep from destroying itself because they no longer have a Kryptonian putting out their fires, cleaning up their messes while governments plot to kill her, perhaps mankind will get what it deserves. You may be fighting a personal war, Bruce Wayne, but I have fought my war already. I fought in the Great War and the things I saw, the acts man committed against each other, I saw the darkness and the love in each of them… I thought they would learn from the war, put an end to the violence. Instead I saw the rise of the Nazis, the Holocaust, Vietnam, Korea, the Cold War, the Persian Gulf War, the ongoing war against terror which will never end. Mankind commits these acts against themselves with no outside influence. They never deserved her. If you want a symbol of hope, there are other metahumans to recruit. I lost my idealism long ago.”

“And yet you placed yourself in a position to get to know her. Why? You wanted to know if she was a threat, correct?”

Diana shook her head. “I wanted to know how much of a threat the world would pose to her. Judging from where she currently is, it appears mankind finally broke her. I think we are done, Mr. Wayne. I have work to do. If she needs me, do not hesitate to ask. Do not ask me to become involved in the problems of this world because you feel you need allies to fight by your side. As I said, my war is over, and I believe our methods of fighting battles would be in direct conflict regardless.”

The woman stood up from her desk, apparently telling Bruce that the time for him to leave had come.

A god?

“Kara told me when we first met, that we could not stop all the evil in the world, but we couldn’t stop trying. Why did you stop?”

Diana did not smile, nor did the question seem to sway her.

“I met two sisters in college who should have had the entire world in front of them. Instead they decided to save it. One of them became a government agent and a vigilante and the other is an alcoholic in an underground rehab facility. You tell me, Bruce Wayne, while you were trying to save the world how did you fail the ones at your side so badly? You encouraged her and where is she now? Have a safe trip back to Gotham City.”

When Bruce reached the door, he stopped and turned back to her.

“The man standing next to you in the photo? Who was he? He was a soldier, correct? Do you think he would want this world to have a symbol of hope?”

Diana’s beautiful face hardened.

“Go down the hallway, take the first right. Go upstairs and make the first left. Walk the length of the hall and you should see workers milling about. They can direct you the rest of the way out. Good day Batman. I doubt we will see each other again.”

The Block

Kara woke up from a restful slumber and immediately remembered it would be the last she had today. No sedatives would be given today, no afternoon nap. Tomorrow her life changed forever. Tomorrow she would become as close to human as she had ever been. Her life would be normal. She would have to use sunblock when on the beach, have to eat or faint. She would get stomach aches, colds, the flu possibly.

She couldn’t drink any longer and become instantly sober if she took off her bracelet, she couldn’t drink with her powers.

She couldn’t drink. She would no longer be able to relax, no longer feel the familiar buzz of energy that brought her out of her alcohol induced haze, allowing her to fight, to feel alive in a way nothing else had ever made her feel.

She was an addict. She would be taking antipsychotics, antidepressants, sleeping pills, for the rest of her natural life.

She would no longer see disaster on large scales, but she would also no longer see the relief, the gratitude of the ones she saved. The one joy she still had out of life, was rescuing those in need. How would she feel the first time she saw death on the news, death she could have stopped or lessened? Kara could not hide from the world forever. The blonde knew she would eventually have to come to terms with her decision and its effect on the world.

She also had no real choice. Kara had told Alex once during a therapy session that if it came down to her sister or the world, it would always be her sister. Her family came first to Kara, always would come first. This was the best way to make them happy, keep them away from the dangerous world they insisted on being a part of.

Kara also knew it would be a relief. A part of her, a large part of her, wanted Supergirl to die.

But what about the friends she had? What about Nyssa, Bruce?

What would Barry really think about her quitting?

Family came first. It was her mantra since she became a part of the Danvers and always would. She recognized she needed to stop drinking, needed to be medicated and her family needed her alive. For that to happen, Supergirl had to die.

Rolling over, Streaking becoming unwrapped from her hair, wondering if it was Clark or Alex in her bed, she found the latter, sitting up with a big grin on her face.

“Good morning. Time to get up and make yourself beautiful. You have a play date today. Your best buddy is coming over, remember? I am so excited! You two are like a Disney sitcom. I plan to record everything so keep that in mind when you two are smooching.” Alex teased her.

“I don’t think my breath is up to kissing. Besides, friends, remember? I can be his friend. Anything else and he may as well book a room in this place.”

Kara sat up in bed and looked at the clock on the wall. She had two hours before the man had said he would arrive. Kara had told him yesterday over the phone what her decision had been. To his credit he didn’t sound surprised, but Kara knew he had to be feeling some shock.

Or had he always known that she wouldn’t be back since she entered this hole in the ground?

“Stop it. One day without the antidepressants that haven’t even had time to build up and you are Debbie Downer again. Get up, and get dressed. You have to eat breakfast.”

Before Kara could complain, Alex’s finger was on her mouth.

“Don’t want to hear it. You need food. The local anesthetic you will be given should numb your upper torso, but the pain pills afterward might be tricky. You need food today to be strong because you can’t eat after midnight. Now eat. You are going to be human. No more month-long fasts.”

Kara did as directed, dressing casually in short denim cutoffs and a t shirt. Her Dad looked at her and those shorts for a moment, then looking back at his breakfast. At 24, Kara still sought her Dad’s approval of dress, sadly, at least when he was present. She should be past that.

But like a true millennial she was planning to move back in with her parents with no immediate employment and no plans to move out, even if employed. After the surgery the restoration project would begin in earnest. The blonde wanted to do this without her powers, use her skills. She had done this before, in fact enjoyed working on the bikes without her powers. Here she had the tools she needed like a frame straightening jig and if she sold it and got perhaps a million to a million two, she could change the shed on the side of the house into an actual garage and workshop. Her father had always wanted a bigger garage, so they would both be happy, and Kara could have the tools needed to restore and repair for others.

She would be able to make that which was broken whole again. Like she had done with Streaky, her first bike, Alex’s bike. Her hobby had always originated from a deep need to fix what was broken, since she could never seem to fix herself. If she saw a beach with trash on it, she drew the beach without trash. If she saw a forest with trees cut, she made the forest beautiful on paper or canvas, trees whole.

Now she would spend the rest of her life trying to repair herself, a job that may never be finished.

Two hours later, punctual as always when Kara was involved, a very sore Barry Allen arrived in the isolated wild of Kentucky, standing in front of a cabin, where Kara waited for him outside. The Flash did his best to not appear sore, as he really did not want to discuss the training he was undergoing. If she asked he would tell her but would offer nothing. She had other things to worry about.

He did his best not to stare at her legs, keeping his eyes locked on hers, no matter how much he wanted to drink her in.

Kara needed a friend.

She just needed a friend.

“Hi.” he offered.

“You came.” she said, not sounding surprised, but… he couldn’t tell. Had she expected him not to?

“Of course. Did you think there was a chance I wouldn’t?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “To be honest I never know what to expect in my life. I am glad to see you.”

“Same here. Do I get to go into the secret base today or are we going to hang out here? I’m good either way.”

Kara grinned and walked closer, pulling his mask off herself, gently.

“There are two things I would like to do before I give this up forever.”

Barry looked at her closely.

“You are talking about your powers and not me… right buddy?”

“Yeah, I’m not talking about you. Stand on my feet and put your arms around my waist. Hold me tight.”

Barry did as instructed with no hesitation, for the first time in six years, feeling her very firm waist. Though he was taller than her to begin with and more so on her feet, she was still able to wrap her arms around his chest, pulling him close to her.

“Close your eyes. and don’t open until I tell you to.” she told him.

He did so immediately, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms. She looked so much better than last time he had seen her. Maybe it was her eyes. While a bit cloudy, probably the effects of the medication, they were no longer bloodshot. She seemed much more relaxed but considering the medication she said she was on, that was to be expected.

“Open your eyes and don’t panic. Hold on to me tightly. I won’t let you go.”

Barry did so and nearly gasped, He could see miles and miles of forest from above. Looking down quickly, he saw they were high, very high. The cabin below was a small spec.

“Wow.” the man whispered quietly.

“I used to hate flying when I was just learning how. It was a reminder of how different I was. When I practiced, I couldn’t turn, I couldn’t stop without hitting something, I knocked over whatever I hit. But as I got better, it became the one power that I genuinely enjoyed. There were many times, it was only in the air, that I felt peace. When I flew in space, it wasn’t very fun, but the view could not be beat.”

“Why don’t you like flying in space?”

“Because I need air. All living things do. There is no air in space. The only reason I can survive is my cells refuse to die. I experience cellular death and immediate regeneration at an incredibly fast rate because of the yellow sun. So basically, in space I am dying and being reborn repeatedly, suffocating but living regardless. It is a never-ending cycle of life and death while I am there. Not being able to breathe and not being able to die, I can’t imagine a worse hell to live in forever. It is necessary to get to locations around the world quickly though. But here and slightly above the cloud line, it is so peaceful. I would take you higher, but it can get uncomfortably cold.”

Barry fought back a shiver at her description of space, never really thinking about the reality of it.

“Thanks, but I think my suit can keep me warm. I would like to see it, if it’s okay with you.”

Kara nodded and the two slowly lifted higher, gaining speed as they rose. Soon Barry noted the white haze around them and a few seconds later, the two stood in the air above the clouds, holding each other very closely.

“Close your eyes and listen. You can’t hear anything but the wind blowing.” Kara told him and closed her eyes. Barry continued to stare at her for a moment then let his eyes close as well.

She was right, it was perfectly silent. So silent he could swear he heard her heartbeat.

“I didn’t always have nightmares. I had dreams over the years, dreams of taking you from Central City and flying you into the sky, just so I could share the moment with you. When Alex and I fly we are usually going to a fight or coming back from one. It would have been nice to share the… to share this with, not for some fight but just to enjoy it. I used to come up here and stand over the clouds for hours, just to get away.”

“Why did you stop?” Barry asked. The small smile on Kara’s face dropped into one of resignation.

“Because there are no bars above the clouds.” she admitted. “I never could bring myself to drink here. It somehow seemed to sacred of a place for that.”

Barry looked around and could understand. This was what he could only describe as ultimate peace, what the artist have imagined Heaven to be over the centuries, almost as if angels beside the one holding him above the Earth would be sitting on top of them. Kara was no angel, he knew that. She was conflicted, struggling with the darkness inside her, half angel and have devil, light and dark, peace and fury all struggling in the same body for control. But at this moment she was closer to an angel than any art had ever created. Her pink and white sneakers, short denim shorts and a NCU t shirt, hair in a ponytail, standing over the world with him in her arms.

“We should go down. I am sure your legs are tired from standing on my feet and if I hold you much tighter you are going to have bruises over your back.”

“I can take it. You said there were two things you wanted to do. What was the other?”

Kara’s cheeks blushed, something that he found cute and surprised her, thinking she was incapable of such a thing any longer.

“I’m going to need a little help. I can’t exactly stand up no my toes with you on them. I want to kiss you. I’ve been waiting for a long time, I never thought I would have the chance again. Friends kiss each other, right? I’m not asking you for anything like a commitment, I just wanted…”

The beginnings of Kara’s ramblings were stopped when she felt Barry’s lips on hers, and like six years ago, became lost in them again. She wasn’t sure how long it lasted, seconds, minutes, hours, but it wasn’t long enough. She eventually had to pull back, to see his reaction, to see his eyes.

“How can the girl of steel have such soft lips?’ he whispered.

“I guess I’ve never been as strong as I am supposed to be. Thank you, Barry.”

The man shook his head. “Never thank me for that.”

Kara looked around, trying to clear her head. She had dreamed of flying with Barry, that was not a lie. She had dreamed of kissing him above the clouds. There was one other thing that she had dream of occasionally.

“Do you like roller coasters?” Kara asked suddenly.

Barry was surprised by the turn in conversation, but Kara always did surprise him.

“Yeah, I have been known to ride them. Not since I was a teenager, but I enjoyed them.”

“Would you trust a mentally ill, alcoholic and drug addict with your life?” she continued.

“No.” he answered immediately. “But I trust you with my life.”

A mischievous grin spread across her face.

“Good.” she told him simply.

Barry felt a slight jolt. If he hadn’t been a speedster, he never would have seen what was going on. He wouldn’t have seen Kara twisting him, twirling him with her hands, onto her back. He wrapped his arms from behind around her chest and she gripped his arms. Wrapping the back of her legs, intertwining them with his, she told him to hold on.

Within seconds, seconds in which Barry’s stomach was left behind, the two were soaring down, straightening out before they reached the treetops.

The man’s eyes lit up, used to moving at this speed and more but never seeing the world from this point of view. They were moving at incredible speeds over the forest and his eyes took in everything, the wildlife below, deer standing still, too shocked to even move from the large bird swooping from above. She dropped into the forest, weaving in and out of trees then flew straight up, twisting her body to always keep Barry on top of her and continued racing over the green canopy.

The two finally landed, and Barry would have fallen to the ground, if Kara wasn’t holding him up.

“Take a second to get your bearings. Alex doesn’t like to fly with me like that. She prefers to be in her jet when barrel rolls are performed. You okay? I didn’t scare you, did I?”

Barry’s feet touched the ground, and he quickly shook off the feeling of weightlessness.

“I’m not that easy to scare. So, there is something I have always wanted to do. You up for it?”

Kara crossed her arms and grinned. “You can top that?”

Barry shook his head. “Probably not. I think you will like this though. You are fast, but I think you need to feel real speed.”

Kara was in his arms, held bridal style and moving through the trees. She smiled as he carried her, not having the heart to tell him she was this fast as well. Until tomorrow anyway.

As they continued to run, she noted the grin on his face, as if he were reading her mind.

“Like I said, time to show you real speed. Hold on tight, Kara Danvers.”

Kara’s eyes did widen as he stepped it up a notch and the speed increased quite a bit. She heard a sonic boom echoing in the forest, then they broke through the trees into flat land and a large lake. Barry never stopped moving, gliding over the lake and moving faster. He turned, running up a tree and holding her tightly, moving sideways from tree to tree around the clearing, then moving into the large limbs higher up, moving from one to the other with ease, no matter the distance. Once they reached the ground, he moved faster, nearly to the point that even Kara’s eyesight had difficulty keeping track of the world around her.

Finally skidding to a stop in front of the cabin, he sat her gently on the ground.

“That was so cool!” she shouted, then smelt it. Her shirt was on fire.

The two patted out the fire before Kara’s shirt completely burnt off. Once it was extinguished, they heard a throat clearing, realizing Eliza was standing with Alex, both with large smiles on their faces.

“I heard you two were having a play date so brought you a change of clothes in case you got dirty, or ran fast enough that the friction would burn your clothes.” Eliza told her, handing her a new t shirt.

“Thanks Mom.” the blonde told her, blushing for the second time today. Eliza laughed and shook Barry’s hand.

“It’s nice to see you gain, Barry. Thank you so much for coming. Kara, you smell like smoke. Why don’t you take a shower and Barry and I will meet you in the dining room for lunch? Caitlin is very excited to see you, Barry.”

The man nodded his head, suspecting that. He was anxious to see her as well. He also noted that Eliza was subtly telling him she wanted to speak to him alone and he knew why.

“C’mon little sis, your play pal will meet you soon. You’re not roses. Burnt cotton isn’t a good smell for you.”

Kara looked between Barry and Eliza. Her Mom was smiling, and he pulled his mask off and winked at her. She supposed it would be fine.

Once the two were down below, Eliza gave it a few minutes, hoping by speaking quietly while she was in the shower then deciding it wasn’t worth the risk for Clark to hear, she pulled out two sheets of paper on top of tablets and handed one to him. Barry read hers.

“Thank you for telling Connolly about this red ring. Lobo isn’t answering but we will find out about this.”

“I’m worried. From what little he told me, this thing is attracted to rage.” he wrote back.

“She won’t be fighting anymore. The meds will help calm her. She will be safe. I’m not letting some space power ring attack her. I may hunt down Lobo myself. Jeremiah mentioned Lobo also told him about someone called a Red I am sure is involved. She doesn’t need to worry about it. She is done, no more fighting. Thank you for the information and for being here.”

Barry nodded and took the sheet from Eliza. Along with his he rubbed the two sheets together between his hands at super speed, disintegrating the paper into ash in less than a second.

“So,” Eliza spoke aloud. “I’ve been with Kara above the clouds before. Its beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, the silence, the sunlight, the clouds…”

‘The look on her face.” Eliza finished. “That is a look of complete peace and it is so beautiful on her. It’s a look I want to keep on her. I think you will be a big part of that. I hope you are hungry.”

“I am always hungry.” he told her and followed to the elevator. On the way down, Eliza asked him how he liked Jessica. Apparently, Clark had listened in on his request.

“I… like her. I’ve never really been one to talk about my feelings and… stuff. But as uncomfortable as I was at first, it has been nice.”

“That’s good. So good flight, huh?” the woman asked.

“Yeah, it was amazing.”

“Did you kiss her?”

Barry paused, not knowing what to say.

Eliza grinned. “So yes then?”

“We are just… I am trying to be a good friend and…”

Eliza laughed at his awkwardness.

“That’s a definite yes. Don’t worry, Barry. Friends kiss right? No big deal. I kiss all my friends.”

“You do?” he asked, shocked then feeling a bit put out when she laughed again.

“Don’t listen to what others say about her, Barry. They don’t know her. She isn’t perfect, none of my children are. Clark is way too nosy for his own good, Alex is focused on everything and everyone but herself and Kara is Kara. But they are all wonderful. The world may fear my daughter, but she is just a girl wanting to be loved. If she is surrounded by love, she will begin to love herself. That is my hope. Have patience. She will tell you not to wait for her, that she doesn’t want to hold you back. Until these medications are perfected she will be moody, depressed at times, sluggish at others, possibly feel and act like a zombie until we get it right. But you will wait, and you will be there. You look at her like Jeremiah looked at me when we first met.”

Barry smiled, thinking maybe he was the only one who had fallen for someone so fast after such a brief time and carried that torch for years.

“He still looks at you like that, right?”

“He better.” the woman told him and walked out of the elevator. Caitlin was standing in front of the door and rushed him, wrapping him tightly in a hug that he returned.

“It’s good to see you.” she whispered.

“I missed you, too. We have a lot to catch up on, but I will be here more.”

That surprised Dr. Snow.

“What about protecting Central City?”

Barry shook his head. “Prioritizing is something I am having to learn. They do have a police department I work for. I will be there if I am needed but it better be something extremely dangerous. Otherwise I am working on some other stuff, stuff for work, attending some training classes. Anyway, thanks for doing this, Caitlin.”

“She means a lot to you, Barry. Of course, I would be here. Even if she didn’t… I couldn’t turn this down. It hasn’t been easy but… I guess hearing and learning what I have learned, I kind of understand her better. She really is special, she just forgot that long ago.”

The two super powered individuals sat next to each other at the large lunch gathering. Barry noted Clark was quieter than usual, barely talking and receiving concerned looks from all his family. He knew that Kara had told him everything and it wasn’t good. The man made it a point to talk to him later.

He did have the opportunity. After screening the Last Jedi in the very impressive home theater that Bruce had built, and listening to Kara become a bit angry at the way Luke Skywalker was portrayed, Kara and he retired to her room where they began X Box multiplayer campaigns against Alex and Clark in Alex’s room.

At ten PM, it was decided by Shay that any residual traces of medicine had been burned out of her system and red sun lights were turned on, so a very mild sedative could be administered. The final scan of her liver came back perfect and as far as the family and doctors were concerned, the blonde was in perfect health, ready to enter her non-super powered life.

Before taking the sedative, Kara thanked him for coming and asked that he say goodbye before he left in the morning.

“I’m not leaving. I won’t go back until Monday. I will be here when you wake up. I’m going to be here all day and night. I won’t leave you.” he told her.

“Thank you.” Kara offered gratefully, holding his hand as she drifted off to sleep, the cat jumping on the bed and laying on her flowing hair. Barry wondered if Kara realized how much of a problem this would be when she no longer had her powers and her hair could be pulled out.

Walking to find the bedroom Alex had set up for him and passing her as she moved towards Kara’s room, he spied Clark’s door opened, and the familiar bright lights of a video game being played. He knocked on the door gently and walked in.

Taking a seat next to the boy on the floor, he watched him guide Mario through several big skilled maneuvers on the video game track.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Nope.” the boy answered.

“Want to try and beat me? I have never lost a Mario Cart race. Speed is my thing, remember? I’m kind of the master at it.”

Clark rolled his eyes but did restart the game, tossing a controller at Barry. They didn’t talk about anything important that night, but by three AM, the boy was laughing enough that Barry thought it would be an appropriate time to talk him into sleep. He woke up the next morning on Clark’s floor, controller still in hand, while Clark was sprawled across the bed, still dressed and controller in his hand.

“All that’s missing is the empty beer bottles and I would think you two had a hell of a night.” Jeremiah said from the door. “Thanks for being with him last night, Barry. Sometimes just having fun can be more therapeutic than one would realize. Kara is going to… she has an hour before I… perform the operation. She is already up. She will be mostly awake for the surgery but won’t feel anything and then given a sedative and non-narcotic pain meds afterward. Despite that she is going to be feeling a lot of pain tonight. I am glad you are here. Thank you.”

Barry left the room, still trying to wake up as Jeremiah woke Clark. He moved quickly to find his room and change.

Kara for her part was feeling a lot of anxiety. The reality of her decision was here. Her life, for better or worse would never be the same. Luckily under the red light she was able to squeeze Alex’s hand as tightly as possible.

“So, we are here.” she told her sister.

“Yep. Have you decided between clown school and being archeologists?”

“I’m thinking I might get my pilots license.” the younger sister joked. “This is scary. Are you scared? I’m scared.”

Alex nodded her head. “Yeah, I am scared. But we have been scared before. We always come out on top, right? I’ll be standing by your bed, surgical mask on and holding your hand. No matter what this next chapter brings, we will be in it together.”

“I texted Nyssa last night through Kelex.” Alex added. “I told her tomorrow would be a good time to visit if you are up for it. I know you want to see your friend.”

“Yeah, I need to tell her…”

“She knows, Kara. I didn’t tell her, but I think she has always known since you decided to stay here. It will be fine. Maybe I can get to know her better tomorrow. We haven’t met under any circumstances where one of us was not pointing a weapon or threatening the other. Maybe that can change.”

Kara recognized that look.

“You want to throw her against a wall for purposes that have nothing to do with combat, don’t you?”

The brunette laughed, glad that some of that tension Kara was feeling must have been lessening, if she could joke.

“Speaking about being thrown against a wall, Barry is outside. I’ll step out, so he can talk to you and be right back in, okay?”

Kara nodded. “Just don’t go far.”

“I never do. It’s one of the many things you love about me.”

With a kiss on Kara’s forehead, Alex motioned for Barry to enter.

The man walked up to her, touching her hand.

“It’s going to be okay.” he told her.

“I’ll never be the same.”

“That’s not always a bad thing. Change can be good. Besides, a long time ago I fell for a girl named Kara Danvers. I really liked her. Supergirl had nothing to do with it. I’ll be waiting when you come back around. I’ll be right here.”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” she asked, grinning.

“Yeah, and friends kiss too. Your mother said so.”

He leaned down and kissed her gently on her lips. With a squeeze of her hand, he walked out, being replaced by Alex and her father. Both wore surgical gowns and masks.

“You ready for this, angel?” her Dad asked.

Kara nodded and smiled.

“Since the day I landed.”