Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Seeing Red

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 29: Why do we fall?

Cisco and Joe stood in front of a small monitor watching another interview with Maxwell Lord. The man had been showing up on every show not owned by Catco for the past two months, fulfilling his ambition of two years before to proclaim to the world that Supergirl was not a reliable hero but an alien with a hidden agenda who only fosters good will with the world to eventually turn on it. She most likely was planning her invasion as they sat in studio.

“This guy really doesn’t like her.” Cisco mumbled.

“He actually likes me too much.” a new voice spoke, scaring both men. They turned and saw the small, thin brunette wearing glasses, holding Barry’s hand.

“I used to watch him, fly by his office, his residence, just to see if he had anything going on that my tech couldn’t find out about.” Kara explained. “I found something alright. He has 12 posters of me in his bedroom. Let’s just say… his obsession with me is kind of a love hate thing. I haven’t gone near that residence since… ugh… I have never closed my eyes and flown away so fast in my life.”

Joe and Cisco stood with open mouths, taking her in along with a grinning Barry. The two had talked about meeting her at dinner, but neither expected she would come to S.T.A.R. Labs. Barry told them Kara would not be coming here.

But she was here.

And they were standing there like mute idiots who couldn’t say hi.

“Didn’t mean to surprise you.” Kara offered, seeing they were looking at her awkwardly. “I asked Barry to bring me by, get to meet you all. I’m Kara.”

Joe shook off his shock first. Despite his assertions in the past couple months or so that Barry having Supergirl in his life would only bring trouble, he couldn’t help but be impressed, even in awe. He had seen her briefly when her and Batman had been at the Lab but not long enough. Seeing her like this was surreal and his mind kept flashing back to a little girl she had flown out of a tenth story before the floor was completely engulfed in flames. The News showed the rescue of course but he remembered watching her holding the child on the street, running her hands through the dark girl’s black hair and whispering soothingly in her ear while the child cried and held onto her.

“Kara… Hi, Kara. I’m Joe West. I guess we met briefly before.”

Kara grinned and dropped her head a bit.

“Yeah, that was an interesting morning. No hard feelings I hope. My sister felt really bad about taking your gun.” the girl lied. Alex never felt bad about taking anyone’s gun.

“Oh! No problem. I didn’t have the best reaction to your… friend in black and she got the jump on me. Just like a good partner should do. I wish my partner was that effective. No big deal. It taught me a valuable lesson. No more surprises. I don’t think she would have such an easy time again.” Joe weakly defended but tried to sound confident.

“Yeah, she could, but its nothing to be ashamed of. We have been trained for war since we were in our early teens, by special forces soldiers. Not many people can beat her. Batman might if he could take her one on one, but he has never gotten the opportunity. We always fight together and the two of us don’t lose. Cisco, right? The guy who makes this place run. Its nice to meet you when I don’t have Harrison Wells on my mind.”

Cisco was still looking at her with wide eyed fascination, not sure what to say past hello. He had a hard time believing this was Supergirl on first sight and could understand how she blended in with the public. But up close it was her. Despite her small stature, this was the girl who fought wars against aliens, saved thousands, even hundreds of thousands of people from fires and natural disasters, stopped hundreds of crimes, hunted psychos with Batman. She was hidden no doubt, dark glasses, a faded denim jacket and matching jeans, a purple tee that had some band he had never heard of on it, but it was her.

“Cisco?” Barry prodded.

“Oh yeah! I’m Cisco, but you know that. I… its a pleasure to meet you. We weren’t expecting you here. Barry… uh Barry said you weren’t a big fan of the place.”

Kara shrugged her shoulders and offered her hand to the shorter man. Cisco took it and she regretted offering, considering how hot and clammy his hands were and how vigorously he was shaking.

“No, before I knew the whole story, I was not. I wanted nothing more than an excuse to burn this building. I blamed Harrison Wells for destroying Barry’s life and wanted him dead and his dangerous experiments wiped from history. But I understand now. The man responsible for all that is dead. No reason to blame a building, right? Do you mind if I turn off your security cameras? Just the ones on me. I want to take off my glasses and I am still leery of cameras recording me.”

Cisco looked at Joe who was still a bit wide eyed and trying to take this in. Both men thought they would have more time to prepare to meet her.

“I… sure… I…”

“Thanks.” Kara told him, taking his stuttering for confirmation. She had planned to do it anyway but felt it was polite to ask.

“Kelex?”

Cisco heard an alarm behind him. The console indicated the security cams had failed in the room they were in.

“That’s… impressive response time.” he noted, turning to face her. Without her glasses she was much closer to the legendary blonde figure who dominated the news headlines for the past six years. “Do you have a com in your ear I can’t see?”

The girl shook her head. “There are intercoms, phones, microphones, recorders. Wherever there are cameras Kelex keeps an eye on me and if he can hear me, he listens. I guess you could say he is my guardian angel. So… Barry was going to show me around. Is that okay?”

Barry chuckled, enjoying the reactions of his foster father and good friend. They had not expected her and for once, Kara took the lead and had control of the conversation. He had been watching her closely and she hadn’t been shaking, or sweating, or twitching. Of course, she just had her meds but appeared to be handling everything with no problems.

“C’mon, I’ll show you around.” Barry offered.

“No!” Cisco quickly told him. “I would like to… if its okay with Kara? We haven’t had a chance… I mean if you want to, that’s cool. I just know the place better… not to say you don’t. You could come with us Barry… wait, do you want to? Come with me, I mean. Just to have a tour and…”

“Yes.” Kara told him, deciding to have mercy. “I would love to see the inner workings of this place. Barry and Joe would probably love to catch up.”

Barry tensed, not expecting this. Kara would leave his side? Why? She may have just had medications, but she normally would never walk off into a lab with someone she just met.

“Kara?”

“Its fine, Barry. I’m fine. I haven’t gotten to spend much time with Cisco, not like I have with Caitlin.”

Kara stepped closely up to Joe and took his hand.

“I hope we can talk more later. Barry said something about dinner tonight?”

Joe grinned at her, happy to see he had been wrong. Why he had ever thought this slip of a girl who was so good with people could be dangerous, eluded him.

“I look forward to it. I’m making one of my Mom’s recipes, one of Barry’s favorites.”

“I can’t wait.” Kara assured him and turned to walk out with Cisco. Before they went out the door, Kara stopped.

“Oh, and Joe?”

“Yeah?” he asked, before speaking to a worried Barry.

“You really should keep a better eye on your weapon.”

Kara made sure the weapon was on safety and tossed it gently across the room towards the man. Joe caught it, despite his disbelief.

The girl shrugged her shoulders.

“Like I said, we have been training for war for a lot of years. Let’s get together sometime and I can show you a few tricks.”

Kara grabbed Cisco’s arm and practically pulled the disbelieving man out of the room, leaving Joe and Barry alone.

Joe was speechless, not sure what to say and trying to figure out how she took his gun from a shoulder holster inside his jacket without his notice. Barry, despite his earlier worry was holding back a laugh now.

“She isn’t kidding, you know? Both sisters have disarmed you now. You should really keep a closer eye on that thing.” Barry suggested.

Joe slapped him on the back with a smile.

“I knew she was taking my gun.”

Barry stared at him a moment more until he dropped his head.

“Okay, I’m getting old or they are really, really good. I hope they are really, really good. Tell me what’s going on with you. Cat Grant says you are a member of this so-called Justice League. What’s it like to hang with that group?”

Barry didn’t bother to hide his annoyance. “Cat Grant should leave the naming to Cisco.”

The two talked about the new friends he had made and Wally’s training last night. Joe caught him up on the happenings around the Station.

Despite Barry’s easy manner he worried, wondering why Kara had left so easily. It wasn’t like her and a spontaneous Kara was a dangerous Kara. Eliza and Alex had both told him this. They would be the experts and he briefly wondered if he should call one of them.

Barry shook off that thought. The cameras on her may be off as she walks along but he had no doubt Alex and Eliza were watching every step she took somehow.

While Barry and Joe spent some much-needed time together catching up, Cisco was holding in his inner fanboy and at the same time, doing his best to impress her. First, he showed her the Pipeline, probably not the best choice but he had no way of knowing that.

“So, this is where you locked up metas.” Kara said, more to herself than Cisco.

“Yeah. I made them myself. Pretty much guaranteed to keep any meta in. It works…”

“I know how it works. I’ve studied the schematics.” she cut him off, voice sounding pleasant, but the man caught an edge to it he hadn’t heard before. Almost as if she was now forcing herself to be cheerful.

“Oh right.” he told her, pretending as if a memory occurred to him. “I showed Batman and he had downloaded…”

“I don’t need Batman for intelligence. So, when Barry wanted to race Zoom this is where you held him after drugging him, right?”

Cisco stiffened for a moment, certain the playfulness was gone from her voice, no matter how she tried to hide it.

“Yeah… yeah, I guess we did.”

Kara laughed, though it wasn’t the sound of someone who found something hilarious.

“Thank your God for Wally West. Zoom may still be on the loose or thousands if not millions dead were it not for him.”

Cisco looked at her closely, studying her face in detail. He almost wished she would put her glasses back on. There was something there behind the cheerful facade, he was certain of it. Sure, Barry had told him Supergirl had been sick but what else had happened to her?

Kara noticed his scrutiny and placed a softer, understanding smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, that must be a horrible memory. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Zoom wouldn’t have killed thousands. I would have killed him long before it got to that point. The man sounded arrogant enough to believe he could beat me. Show me your workshop. I would love to see where you make your magic happen.”

Deciding the Pipeline wasn’t the best place to bring her, Cisco quickly agreed, taking the long way to his workshop. She remained quiet while taking in the place, making no comment on the architecture or any tech she saw. Cisco suspected being an alien and having the tech she had at her command, not much here would impress her.

To his pleasant surprise she did take an interest in the projects he had been working on.

“This is where you made the cold gun that Leonard Snart used to try and kill Barry, right?”

Cisco stiffened his body this time. The accusation in her voice was not concealed, despite her soft tone.

“Yeah… that was…”

“I understand.” Kara told him. “Its easy to be frightened of people like me, like Barry. You barely knew him and wanted an assurance he wouldn’t become a danger. Its understandable. But I have to ask Cisco, have you been working on any other weapons that can harm him?”

“No!” he answered quickly, when she turned fully towards him and their eyes locked. Cisco knew she didn’t have her powers any longer but something about her had a part of him terrified, despite her pleasant demeanor.

Kara nodded, knowing truth when she heard it, and checked the weapon on his desk, slipping a screw driver into the sleeve of her jacket, just in case a weapon was needed for any reason. The girl was deadly with her body but with any sort of sharp or hard object, she was unstoppable and felt confident against any metas or hooded individuals that might stop by for a surprise visit.

Kara had felt no anxiety since she arrived, but paranoia would always live in the back of her mind and knowing the things that had happened to Barry in this building lit a fire in her heart that had been buried. She knew she needed to calm down and having a weapon helped with that.

“Thank you, for taking care of him, after the lightning. I know you and Caitlin were the ones who kept him going, kept him alive. I should have been there. I am glad you were. You are a good friend to him.”

Kara took a closer look at the man’s large work desk.

“This is interesting. What is it?” she asked. Cisco was relieved she had not found any weapon she could possibly think could harm Barry.

“That is a prototype I have been working on, a rifle powered by a small piece of dwarf star core that Palmer Tech found. Ray Palmer asked for my help on a project he was working on. He showed me the power source and needed advice on using it to power complex electrical components. I never got to see the entire project. He kept it close to the vest and the money was too good for me to ask any questions. He did let me take a small sample of the core. I think I have discovered a way to harness blue energy and compress it into weaponized light beams.”

“Interesting,” Kara admitted, not mentioning that Alex had been harnessing compressed light under a hard shell of the same ore for six years. She also made a note to check up on Ray Palmer. Kara was an admirer of the man, one of the a few billionaires who was not always out for himself, who effected positive change. The idea of him playing around with blue energy and dwarf star ore had her concerned. A wrong wire crossed, and a simple blast of energy could turn into an explosion.

“Having any luck?” she asked, weapon in hand and impressed with the technology, but seeing it was not complete.

“No.” the man admitted. “I can get the necessary power but the converter I am using isn’t strong enough to hold and shape the beams. It overheats quickly. If I tried it at full blast it would blow up in my hands.”

The blonde nodded, agreeing with that assessment. At least he was being careful.

“May I?” Kara asked, looking at a small drill, a wire stripper and a soldering iron.

“Sure.” he told her, very curious as to what she planned to do.

Kara carefully took the cover off the side, not happy with the low-grade screws holding it in place. The capacitor looked fine, but the problem was with the core.

“Your core is too large. Do you have a safe place to cut this and a saw, laser cutter? It has to be precise and cannot have any static discharge.”

He nodded excitedly, and she followed into the next room, happy to see a large clear container with a robotic arm over a table in the middle. From the outside looking in, the room was not large but well vented. If an explosion occurred, the energy should go straight up the top of S.T.A.R. What was left of the roof anyway.

Placing on welder’s goggles she motioned to him to do the same. Taking control of the bright thin beam three foot long under a steel blade, on the robotic arm through the outside controls, Kara deftly cut the small stone in half. The power surge inside was incredible but as the girl had suspected, the room was strong, and no explosion took place.

“Okay, give it a few hours to cool down to 40 Celsius, readjust your casing and double up on the compressor, thinning it out using the extra space to double the thickness and you should have a fancy, workable, space laser rifle. Be careful with it. It could burn through a human easily and shatter a concrete wall. My sister’s staff uses similar technology and has incredible power.”

Cisco couldn’t believe his eyes and ears. He had been nervous to mess with the core, dealing with a relatively unknown power source that could become unstable at anytime. Kara cut through it in seconds without a second thought and from a brief look, solved a problem he had been working on for months.

“How are you so comfortable with this?” he finally asked. “You have done this before, right?”

Kara grinned at him and winked.

“I’m an alien, Cisco. I keep dwarf star cores for paperweights at my Fortress. My friend Lobo usually brings a bag of them when he visits me on Earth. He knows I like to play with weapons. Everybody has their hobbies, right?”

The man nodded slowly, remembering Lobo and wondering how many weapons he had and just how intelligent Kara was.

Kara could read his expression. Reading people was a habit she had to learn over the years.

“When I had my powers, I could read any book on any subject and assimilate the knowledge in seconds.” she explained in a matter of fact one, not bragging but speaking as if it were obvious. “I still have that knowledge but even without my powers, my brain is perfect, genetically speaking. I was grown in a lab under strict conditions and development like all Kryptonians. I wasn’t given any predispositions other than physical traits, but my brain is a perfect specimen, and I tend to use it a lot. I also come from an advanced civilization that began education at an early age. As soon as I could talk, I spent what would be considered probably ten to twelve hours a day on Earth, every day studying mathematics, engineering and physics with a robot called a Kelex. The difference is that while humans study theoretical physics, I studied physics that were proven. Mathematics, science, they are unchanging. Once you understand the rules of the universe, everything makes sense, even the most complex processes become simple.”

Cisco couldn’t help but be impressed. He knew of course that Kara, or at least Supergirl, was an alien. This was the first time he truly realized he was standing in front of someone born on another planet and what it meant for humanity.

“How did you make Barry’s ring? He hasn’t shown it to me, but I know what it can do. How did you do it? Do you know the science behind it?”

“Yes, I do, but I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

“Why not?” he asked in almost a pleading tone, hoping she was teasing.

Kara leaned against his work bench and crossed her arms, head down and having suspected this conversation would happen.

“Because if this information was leaked to a Government, any Government, then that country would be unstoppable. Imagine if the United States had a Rann transporter and one of my crystals. They could literally put hundreds of drones inside a small crystal and arrive anywhere in the world, inside any city, and attack. Who would stop them? What if Russia or China had it? What if North Korea could store a nuclear bomb inside of it and toss it through a transporter linking them with Metropolis. A nuclear weapon could appear in seconds in the downtown area and no one would have a chance of stopping it. Sharing this technology with the world could usher in a new age of warfare, more advanced and potentially catastrophic to the entire human race. That’s why I am selective on the suits I have made. Only Alex, Batman, Nightwing and Barry have my tech and fabric. Five very close friends of mine have body suits of just fabric to protect them from knives, blades and laser burns but no other tech.”

Kara put a hand on Cisco’s shoulder, looking him in the eye.

“If I gave you this tech, showed you the secrets, the world would be in danger. I’m sorry.”

The man backed away and turned from her. She thought he would turn it over to the Government? He was Barry’s best friend! At least besides Iris. He would never betray those secrets.

“You don’t know me very well, Kara. I don’t expect anything, even your trust but I would never betray…”

“Leonard Snart.” Kara cut in, irritating Cisco. He turned back to her quickly.

“That gun was made in the event… I didn’t know Barry that well and we had already made…”

“That’s not what I am talking about.” Kara stopped him, her voice remaining calm, sitting on his desk now.

“You told him who Barry was because he threatened your brother. I understand that. I would do anything in the world for my family, kill anyone, destroy anything. I put them above all others. If the US Government ever even suspected you had knowledge of this tech personally, they would not hesitate to use your parents and brother against you. No one should be in that position. The less you know, the better. I know you would never voluntarily give this information over, but us two, we are the same, and Snart proved it. Our families come first, as they should, Cisco. I don’t ever want you to have to decide between them and the Earth. Do you understand?”

Listening to her rational explanation calmed Cisco quite a bit.

He remembered being captured by Snart, seeing his brother threatened. She would do anything for family and so would he.

“I get it.” the man admitted.

Kara let out a breath.

“I’m glad. I want us to be friends. I will help you anyway I can whenever you need advice or hints or just someone who is good with tools. But the crystals, the fabric, the transporters, they cannot get out. The men who have the suits do not have family that can be used against them. They don’t have any. Only Barry has friends who are targets and he knows what is at stake. He would have to watch them die instead of giving the specs away. I don’t want anyone else in that position. So, we should probably find Barry. He has had enough time to catch up with Joe.”

Once reunited with Barry, the two walked hand in hand to find Caitlin, who was most likely in her lab, the Flash suspected.

She was in her lab.

In Dante’s arms, with her tongue down his throat.

Barry cleared his throat. The two noticed them and practically jumped apart.

“Kara.” Dante greeted her. “I knew you were in the city, but this is the last place I expected you to be. Uh… Barry, its good to see you again.”

Kara stared at the two, her face stone, giving no indication of her thoughts.

“I don’t remember this training technique, Dante. I suppose Caitlin’s powers are under control now?” she finally asked.

Caitlin walked slowly towards her, her smile brightening now that the surprise had worn off.

“Its so good to see you, Kara.” Caitlin told her. “We weren’t expecting to see you until tonight at Joe’s for dinner. How have you been feeling?”

She may have seemed friendly, but Kara was not fooled. That brief spark in her eyes told the girl all she needed to know.

“I feel great. I don’t remember when I have felt this good. Everything is going well, I have no worries, my house is coming along nicely.” Kara told her, smile planted on her face.

Dante watched her closely, looking for signs of… anything. It literally could be anything. He had not told anyone about his and Caitlin’s burgeoning romance. It certainly wasn’t something he would talk to Kara about. While Kara had been in Midvale, he had spoken to her over the phone but spent his time between Central City helping Caitlin and Metropolis, handling his spy network. Now the girl he had spent the past decade training and guiding, the one who professed her love for him on multiple occasions that never ended well, was here and had just found out in the worst possible way.

If Kara began speaking in a clinical tone, it would be time to have Barry get Caitlin out of here.

Barry was curious as well. He was very surprised to see Caitlin with anyone, but his mild shock was nothing compared to the tension he could feel radiating off a smiling Dante. The man was practically bleeding nervous energy.

Barry was not clueless. He had picked up enough from Alex’s family and the men who worked with him to know the relationship between Dante and Kara had been off. While it was obvious Dante saw Kara as a girl he cared for and taught to protect herself, stayed by her side, no matter what, Kara never saw him as a mentor so much. Whenever Barry had tried to get more information from Alex, the older sister would clam up and change the subject. Ty had mentioned one day while sparring with him, that he was glad Kara had let Dante back in and he hoped it worked out better this time.

So, what was it? It should have been simple. She was his little sister and looked up to him as a guide, a mentor of sorts. Only that didn’t seem to be the case and it was being made clear right now, judging by the tension between Kara and Dante.

“Everyone you love dies. You are as cursed as I am. He is under my protection. If he is harmed I will strangle you with your frozen intestines.” Kara finally said, breaking the brief silence, albeit with a language none of them understood.

“What was that? Kryptonese?” Caitlin asked, a spark of mischief in her eyes that only Kara caught.

“Yes. Its a blessing for lovers, wishing you happiness, peace and perfect contentment with each other.” Kara told her kindly.

The two women locked eyes and Kara saw what she was looking for. Caitlin’s eyes had light blue leaking into the irises before becoming normal again. Neither Barry or Dante noticed.

“Hey, I need to talk to Caitlin alone for a minute. I just have questions about a few of my medications. Why don’t you guys go catch up?” Kara suggested.

Dante and Barry both hesitated, not liking the atmosphere but not seeing any other choice. They couldn’t very well insist on staying in a room while Kara spoke to one of her doctors.

“You look like you have been gaining muscle, Barry. I guess Hawk’s workouts and Jeremiah’s protein and mass builders are working for you?”

Before Barry could respond, Dante had a hand on his shoulder, guiding him out of the room.

The two women waited for a moment, listening to the footsteps fading away before speaking.

“So, Dante is working with you to bring these two sides of yourself together, right? How is that going?” Kara started.

Caitlin shrugged her shoulders and turned her back, walking farther into the lab.

“It’s going well. I can use my powers, without fear of becoming her. Dante keeps me calm, helps me focus, keep Killer Frost at bay.”

“I suppose that’s why you have white streaks in your hair now.” Kara commented, following her deeper into the lab. “Killer Frost is safe and sound, tucked away where she can’t get out, even when you use those powers, right? Have you tried to use the dampening necklace Mom made for you?”

Caitlin laughed and turned back towards Kara, eyes completely blue.

“Mom? You mean the poor woman you have tortured all these years, who has put up with your crap, and has panic attacks because of you? That Mom? Yes, Caitlin did try it. It was effective, but she felt, and Dante agreed that it would be better for Dr. Snow to control both sides of my personality.”

“Seems like Dante is doing a hell of a job.” Kara said lowly, walking closer to Snow. “Does he realize you are her now, or have you just become that good of an actress?”

Caitlin shook her head and walked to her desk, leaning against it.

“Maybe you should tell him. Nobody is going to believe the paranoid crazy girl, the one who just admitted she had problems with her meds. Perhaps you need an increased dosage? Much more and you will be drooling. Or did you want to ask about birth control? You couldn’t have Dante, right? I could see the jealousy in your eyes when you saw us. You may love your little superhero boyfriend but being rejected had to suck, especially seeing him all over me. Pricks at the ego, doesn’t it, Supergirl?”

Kara shook her head, trying to think straight and ignore the heat she felt building in her core. Before she lost her powers, her eyes would be glowing so hot the entire room would be a sauna. Now, the fire only burned inside.

“Caitlin Snow he deserves, but I won’t let this, whatever you are…”

Snow barked a sharp laugh. “You won’t let? A 24-year-old junkie. A girl who has been a burden to a family since she arrived on this planet. I read your case files. Suicidal, self harming, whining, sad little monster. No matter what I am or become, you will always be evil and useless. What makes you think you deserve sweet Barry Allen? Hasn’t he hurt enough? You are nothing, nothing but pain to the ones who love you. Do them all a favor and off yourself. Try to get it right this time.”

Kara stormed towards Caitlin, who stood her ground.

“Do it. Show them all what a monster you are.” Frost challenged, her eyes a bright glowing blue. “Show them how you would hurt poor Caitlin Snow because you don’t like her with the guy you could never have.”

“That is not what this is about! You have him fooled. You aren’t Caitlin Snow, you are just pretending to be. He won’t be hurt by you. Neither will Barry or anyone else. Leave this place and never come back.”

“No.” was Killer Frost’s simple response, angering Kara even more. “I like it here. Now were you wanting to talk about your psycho meds, or do you need birth control? I understand you are a slut who gets her self worth from sex, Nightwing, probably Batman considering he had a huge facility built to dry out his favorite junkie. If you hadn’t found out Barry was the Flash, you would have never spoken to him again. You do have a thing for superheroes and vigilantes. Since no one on this planet wants you reproducing, I can let Caitlin out to play long enough to fix that problem for you. Perhaps surgical options to make sure there is no chance would work for you?”

The screw drive slipped from Kara’s sleeve into her palm. She felt cold and hot at the same time, considering her options. She felt no anxiety, no sadness or lethargy. She only felt anger.

Then Frost had to change her appearance to Caitlin Snow, the woman who treated her, helped save her life.

While she wrestled with herself, knowing that Killer Frost was in front of her, yet she could do nothing without harming Caitlin Snow, Kara gripped the screw driver tighter. Counting in her head, as her therapist taught her, she reached ten before a soft, warm hand was over hers, taking the tool away gently.

Barry.

“Hey there. Cisco was looking for this. I figured you must have grabbed it and forgot you had it. You two get everything worked out?”

“Yep.” Caitlin answered happily. “Kara just had some questions. I think we have it all worked out, don’t we Kara?”

“I think we do. I need to take a nap. Can we go back to your place before dinner?” she asked her boyfriend.

Barry was taken back by how tired she sounded, almost defeated. He was also very concerned about why she had a screw driver hidden on her, but that talk didn’t need to happen in S.T.A.R.

Once they were outside, Kara moving quickly without saying goodbye to anyone, the girl pulled her phone from her pocket.

“Kelex, were you recording?”

“Of course.” the robot answered on the other end.

“Send the recording to Dante. He needs to know this plan he has of merging the two isn’t working. That’s Killer Frost in there.”

“Sending now.”

Kara ended the call and let the tears fall, stepping away from Barry and crossing her arms. She fumbled inside her jacket pocket and shakily placed her glasses back on.

“Kara? Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” she asked sharply.

Barry shook his head, wanting to take care of this, of her, but wondering for the first time if he should take her to the Fortress.

“That wasn’t Caitlin I was talking to. Killer Frost has complete control and is only pretending to be her.”

“I think we would know, Kara. Did this have something to do with her being with Dante?” he asked, hesitantly.

Barry’s question was met with a storm, a burst of anger he had not seen from her in a very long time.

“Dante? You think this is about Dante? You would know? Are you even going to ask to hear what was said? You think I would make this up because Caitlin Snow was wrapped around Dante? I’m supposed to trust you with everything, but you doubt me!?”

Kara took her phone again and ordered Kelex to send the recording to Barry’s phone and walked off quickly, leaving him behind, not due to her speed of course but a feeling he had just said the wrong thing and wasn’t sure how to take it back.

Instead of following her, he pulled his phone and saw a voicemail. The man wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this but knew he had to.

After listening to the conversation that had taken place while he and Dante were outside, his blood ran cold and he felt sick. Kara had been right. She recognized something none of them had who were supposed to know Caitlin best. The man moved quickly to her side, reaching for her hand. To his disappointment and worry, she pulled her hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” Kara hissed.

“Can I at least carry you to the apartment?” he offered, wanting to get her somewhere she would stop walking and have to talk.

“I said don’t touch me.”

Doing as she asked, he stayed by her side until they finally got to his apartment. Once inside, he was afraid she would head straight to the closet and enter the Fortress. To his relief she did not, instead sitting in his recliner.

He took a seat on the couch and waited a few minutes while Kara leaned back with her eyes closed.

It was Kara that broke the silence.

“When I was 16, I learned three different ways to snap a person’s neck. Dante taught me. Everyday since I had begun training at 13, I daydreamed about the fight I would have with Astra, with Non and I fought those battles over and over in my head. When he taught me to bend a person back, have them in a defenseless position, lift with one arm and twist with the other, wrapped around the enemy’s head and neck, I knew I had it. It was how the fight would end. If I had the chance, that was the move I would use to end her. I would see her face, some of it, and it would be quick. After I learned that move, after I had that epiphany, I began having different nightmares. In those nightmares, I was running with Clark in my arms, just a 13-year-old girl, no powers, just trying to hide. I was frightened, and I could feel some sort of monster behind me. After two weeks of those recurring dreams I was finally caught. I was knocked down and when I rolled over, I saw myself, eyes glowing, floating in the sky above me, fists curled, and a cape draped around me. I realized then, that I was the monster.”

Kara shook her head slightly and leaned forward, meeting his eyes.

“You want to know how I knew? I look at a monster in the mirror everyday. I have looked in the eyes of the Joker and seen complete madness. I saw a group of so called soldiers in the Congo, killing children, raping women, burning homes. I have seen evil, Barry. I recognize it, I can smell it. Caitlin hides the two halves of herself from each other and maybe one day they can merge but now, when she accesses her power, she lets the monster run free and Dante was too stupid to see it. I hid it from him as well. I know a monster when I see one Barry. I just had to talk to her alone and be sure.”

Barry thought about this, a part of him feeling like a fool, one for instantly doubting her when he had asked her to completely trust him, two, for not noticing that Caitlin hadn’t been Caitlin for who knew how long and three because of jealousy.

Was he jealous?

The man had no idea. If Caitlin had been talking to Cisco or kissing someone else, would Kara have noticed as quickly?

“You’re wondering what the story is with me and Dante, right?” Kara asked, a slight grin on her face as she sat back in the recliner. “I told you I can read people, Barry. You are wondering if I would have noticed as quickly if she had been in the same room with someone else, anyone else. The truth is, I don’t know. The story with me and Dante is a bit complicated. If you really want to hear it… I don’t want you to know but I will tell you.”

“You love him?” Barry asked quietly, looking her direction but not quite meeting her eyes. The man was afraid of what she would say next.

“No.”

It was said so simply, sounded so sincere that he couldn’t pick up any deception.

But Kara was as good at deceiving people as she was at reading people.

Seeing that wouldn’t be enough for him, she took a deep breath and told him what he probably wanted to hear, and she didn’t want to say.

“I did love him, maybe. I don’t know. When I arrived on this planet I was 13 going on 16 and had hormones to prove it. I knew I could never be involved with anyone. It bothered me more than I let on. Alex and I, we lived in our own world. When you carry secrets as big as we did, you never truly feel part of the world. That’s probably why we cling to each other. Neither of us learned to open up to others often. I swore off having friends who weren’t in the know, after I had to give you up and Lena two weeks later. But the one constant in my life was Dante. He knew everything and was always there, often without a shirt on. It’s a miracle I managed puberty and learning to control my powers. I had convinced myself as I grew that he maybe felt things for me. I was so sure, that when I was 17 I asked if he would marry me.”

Had Barry been eating or drinking he would have choked.

“You asked him… to marry you?”

Kara’s grin was gone from her face, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.

“Yeah. Of course, he didn’t see… and I realized… it was embarrassing but we got past it. I guess I just wanted someone who I wouldn’t have to hide from, who knew everything about me already and wasn’t scared of me, someone who really knew me. He was that guy. Then after my last suicide attempt, things… I screwed up. It was one of the worst things I have ever done in my life and that is saying something.”

Kara stood up and walked to the window, crossing her arms and dropping her head. Barry stood up and followed, hands on her waist.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

Kara nodded her head. “I know I don’t. You deserve to know. I told you I would let you in and I meant that. After I tried to kill myself… the second time, I was finally allowed to move back to my apartment after two months. I spent a month in a makeshift suicide watch room and then a month under house arrest with my parents. I made them think I was okay, that I made a mistake and it wouldn’t happen again. I made them believe I was alright. My drinking was bad, but I wasn’t shaking at that point. The month long unintentional detox at the DEO didn’t bother me because I was pretty much catatonic. When I stayed at my parents I could sneak down at night while they slept. Dad kept bottles in a cabinet for holidays or dinner parties but hardly ever got them out. I had gone through three of the five of them before I left, and he never noticed. They weren’t concerned about me drinking then. They had no idea how much I consumed. I hadn’t started using drugs yet.”

I’m guessing your Dad got rid of…” Barry guessed.

“He would burn down every place that serves alcohol if he could. Besides the point. The second or third night I was back, Dick Grayson was there. Alex was at work and I was lonely. I was also drunk. I wore a bracelet, so I could sober up before Alex got home or if she needed me. Apparently, Dante bumped into Dick as he was leaving and had a chat with my Dad about him using me, then my Dad had a chat with me. I was furious. Dante pretty much told my Dad I was having sex already. I felt betrayed. Then Dad bringing up my… not boyfriend… who he already hated, I couldn’t process it, so I blamed Dante.”

Barry pressed closer to her, hoping she would turn around, look at him. He needed to see her face to know how she was feeling. He knew this wasn’t easy and once again, wasn’t sure if he should stay quiet or bring her back to the present.

“I was angry and frustrated and determined. If he wanted to get involved in my business, then he would go all the way. So, I waited for him in his apartment, the next night, drunk, and half naked… mostly naked. When he showed up, I gave him an option. He was mine or he stayed out of my business. He told me no and I told him to get out of my life for good. I didn’t speak to him for two years until he came to the Block. Today was only the second time I have seen him since I entered the Block and I was caught by surprise. Seeing him in that position threw me but I don’t love him.”

Kara turned and laid her arms on Barry’s shoulders.

“I’m going to take a nap. Do you mind?”

He shook his head. “I thought you might want to go back?”

The blonde shook her head. “We told Joe we would be there for dinner and I want to hang out with Iris, get to know her better. Killer Frost doesn’t bother me. She said nothing to me that I haven’t said a thousand times to myself.”

Kara seemed calm, no tears in her eyes as she walked towards the bedroom. Deciding he had pushed his luck enough today, the man decided not to bring up Kara arming herself with a pointed metal object. Maybe he would tell Alex about it, if Alex didn’t know already. He considered calling Dante, calling Caitlin, calling Iris. Instead of any of these ideas, he waited until he heard Kara softly snoring and laid beside her. As soon as he lay near her, she moved into him, never waking.

That night, as the Flash and Supergirl were having dinner with Barry’s family, Dante was doing his best to calm Caitlin. After receiving the recording from Kelex, he had pretended nothing was wrong, greeting Caitlin warmly and then pressing the dampener to her neck. Once the blue necklace touched her, she had become herself and Dante cursed himself for not noticing sooner. He thought he had been helping her, reconcile the two parts of herself but during one of their sessions, Killer Frost had taken over and was a very good actress.

Caitlin was beside herself, an emotional mess, after insisting she listen to what had happened. She couldn’t bring herself to face Kara and the man agreed with this privately. He assured Caitlin that Kara understood, that it wasn’t a problem.

He knew he was lying as he said it. Kara liked Caitlin Snow.

Kara would always see Killer Frost when she saw her now.

The man had helped Kara, liked to think he had taken two sides of her soul, the peaceful, loving gentle soul and the rage filled soul that thirsted for war and combined the two. He helped her accept both sides of herself.

He knew after he left National City that he was wrong, and he had been following the same path here. If he wasn’t careful, Caitlin could be lost permanently, just as Kara had nearly been lost permanently to Supergirl.

Deciding Caitlin had calmed down somewhat, he left, wanting to talk to Kara at Barry’s apartment, forgetting that she was at Joe’s.

Per his usual habit, when alone, Dante preferred not to use an elevator, always taking the stairs instead. As he opened the door, he was jerked into the stairwell and thrown into a concrete wall.

Before he could move to counterattack a barrel of a handgun that fired plasma bolts hotter than molten lava was pressed against his forehead. There would be no point in attempting to disarm her. Alex knew all their tricks. They had taught them to her.

“Kryptonian weapons are cheating, Alex.”

“My Sith master told me there was no cheating in war, only winners and losers.” Alex told him, lowering the weapon.

Dante took her in, dressed in the head to toe black she preferred, including her ‘leather’ jacket which was made of the same material as all her suits, lightweight body armor.

“So, I guess you heard? Did Kara tell you?”

Alex shook her head. “I haven’t heard anything from Kara. I’m in control of the Fortress and threats to my family, especially my brother and sister, are reported to me by Kelex. So, I waited till they were gone, helped myself into Barry’s place and stole a motorcycle to find you.”

“It’s not her fault.” Dante told her, considering taking the weapon just to let her know the student had not become the master. Of course, Alex was never his student.

“I know it isn’t. I blame you. We work on a cure, we developed the dampener, you get her to control her powers if we can’t get rid of them and keep her evil side from taking over her Caitlin side. What happened?”

Dante felt embarrassed enough as is and had been thinking of how to explain that to Kara. He should have known Alex would be there.

“I thought with the dampener off, she would have… I made a call and it was the wrong one, okay?”

“Sure, no problem. Just be glad you don’t have a giant icicle through your gut and team Flash is still alive. Do whatever you want, but you make sure Killer Frost stays away from Kara if you are going to play games. Keep that dampener on her because if Caitlin does something to hurt someone, she will never forgive herself, even if it isn’t her fault. I know a girl like that., don’t you?”

Dante felt himself growing angry, despite his face not giving any indication. Unlike the Danvers sisters he and his friends could hide their emotions well.

“You handle the metahuman gene, I handle the training if you can’t fix this. Sorry it happened. I don’t like it either, but I can’t change it now. Anything else you need?”

“Don’t talk to me that way!” Alex hissed. “When Kara cut you out of her life, I was the one who went behind her back and told you everything going on with her, wasn’t I?”

The man nodded his head. It was true, Alex gave him the only information he had about Kara for those two years. Not even his old team knew much or wouldn’t share. He never told anyone, and they never knew the whole story of the rift between them.

“Yes, you did. Neither of us knew the whole story, obviously.”

Alex ignored that jibe. “Dante, I could have killed you the second you walked into this stairwell. That’s the same thing that can happen if you fall asleep and its not Caitlin next to you.”

“You think I don’t know that? Damn it, Alex! Its been on my mind all damn day!”

Alex shook her head and looked at the floor. Dante noticed finally that she was very tired and there were tears pooling in her eyes.

“Alex? Hey, have you slept? I know it was scary but she…”

“I’m scared, Dante. I’m finally getting my little sister back, and this red monster and some ring could still be out there, and she was in a room and probably stupid enough to try and fight a woman Caitlin herself calls Killer Frost. I’m tired and I am scared, and I just want her safe. I wish Barry Allen was just some guy who lived in Midvale who she really liked, some guy without powers, without a job in law enforcement, just a normal, everyday guy. She is getting better. She gets out of bed every day and even smiles, she exercises, she isn’t fidgeting all the time. She is going to meetings and… I should have just stayed with her this weekend. She wanted me to and…”

“You did the right thing.” Dante assured her, pulling her into a hug where Alex broke down on his shoulder. “Its going to be okay, Alex. We will keep her safe, just like always, right?”

Alex nodded her head slightly but held on tighter.

Finally gaining some semblance of control back, she stepped away from him.

“You think I should find her? She is at Joe West’s house.”

The man told her no.

Barry could handle this. Only Barry, Dante, Kara and Caitlin knew about the Killer Frost episode today and it would stay that way. No reason for the Wests to be uncomfortable as well. Kara was there, she hadn’t run back home, and she would be fine. Alex agreed hesitantly and took a taxi back to Barry’s apartment, where she would once again, pick the lock and slip back into the Fortress then home.

Barry was not as certain. The night had been great, and he was relieved there was no talk of Supergirl adventures. Most of the talk centered around Barry growing up, which he was both embarrassed about and relieved. Iris showed Kara pictures of him from every age. Kara laughed, she made small talk, she never seemed nervous, or even sad.

But he knew that night that she had not taken her sedative. She may have though she was being sneaky, but he moved fast, too fast for her eyes to see and stood in front of her without her knowing, no lightning, just blending into the surrounding air. She took her antipsychotic and antidepressant but left the sedative bottle untouched.

He lay down next to her and managed to steady his breathing enough, that she must have thought he was asleep. He didn’t move while she got dressed and silently exited the apartment.

He followed her from a distance, scared of where she was going and not knowing what to do about it. She was obviously following directions on her phone.

Then she was in front of the bar. Tony’s nightclub, though there was no dance floor, just a hole in the wall place that had a very long bar and a few tables. Kara stood outside the entrance and didn’t move.

Barry thought of approaching her until his phone buzzed. Not taking his eyes off her from across the street, he answered without noting the caller.

“Don’t interfere, Barry.”

“Alfred?” the man whispered. Of all the voices he had expected to hear, that was the last one.

“Since she began harming herself at 13, she has had other people protecting her from herself. Her parents and sister stood outside the bathroom, so she wouldn’t harm herself, they never left her alone during the day, they checked on her all hours of the night as she slept. She has always had people there to protect her, but this is a fight she must win on her own. No one can do this for her. If you pull her away, what will happen the next time, when there is no one around?”

Barry didn’t like this. Alfred was her sponsor and knew more than Barry did about this but still, it didn’t sit right.

“And if she goes in?”

“Let her have a drink and then take her home before too much alcohol effects her meds.”

“And her sobriety is gone. All the days, all the pins…”

“Why do we fall, Barry?” Alfred cut in. “So, we can learn to get back up again. She may relapse but that is not the end, it is a stumbling block but one that can be overcome. Give her a minute. Don’t lose faith.”

Barry stayed on the phone with Alfred, neither saying anything for ten minutes, ten of the longest minutes of Barry’s life. Kara did not move from her spot, simply staring through the window at the patrons drinking to have fun and those drinking to forget.

The girl finally turned away from the bar and began walking back towards Barry’s apartment, head down and hands in her pocket.

“That’s my girl.” Alfred whispered. “Supergirl may be gone but the heart of steel is still there. I will meet her tomorrow night at her small group just outside of Midvale tomorrow night. I won’t say anything about this and you won’t either, not to her. Go back home, get in bed and pretend you didn’t notice she was gone.”

Barry didn’t know how he would lay down and try to hide a smile on his face.

“Thank you, Alfred.”

Good night, Master Allen. Sleep well.”