Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Seeing Red

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 37: Therapy Time

“Why are you here?” Kara asked, after finally waking at 9 AM. She remembered looking at her mother and then apparently being knocked out. Her head felt fine, she felt rested but she did not want to get out of bed. She had no reason to. If they wanted to put this brain altering crystal band on her, they could come into her bedroom where they left her.

Now she was faced with her therapist, who she only saw on video and thought was safely stored away in Gotham City.

“I wanted to talk to you before you have your first session of the day with the alien brainwashing thing your mad scientist family came up with. You are scheduled for your first in an hour, your second at 3 and then one at 7. You should be done by 7:30 and you will be meeting Alfred in Bruce’s hideout and the two of you will be going to an AA meeting in Gotham. It will be the same group you had at the Block. I know this because I was given a full schedule this morning by your mother, slash, agent, slash nurse, when I arrived. I am here now because Batman woke me at 4 AM and paid me an obscene amount of money if I would fly to Midvale and be here when you woke. In between your brain washing sessions we are going to spend a lot of time together and talk about everything.”

Kara groaned and rolled away from the side she was lying on, making a mental note to figure out a way to bar chairs from entering her room and do something very painful to Bruce.

“What is there to talk about?”

Leslie shook her head, recognizing how much work they would have to do obvious by Kara’s depressed state and hoping her secretary could rearrange her schedule. This would be a very long day in Midvale for her.

“Oh, I don’t know. Why not talk about what has gone on since the last time we met after you took that ring. We could talk about how you are feeling, how you have been trying to shut everyone out of your life again except your family and that annoying cat, how you flew to another planet to blow off steam by killing quite a few Martians and destroying an innocent pyramid with an unknown alien at your side. Maybe we can talk about how you destroyed your relationship with your boyfriend last night, invaded S.T.A.R. Labs, basically called everyone inside idiots who had no idea what they were doing, kicked your boyfriend’s door in, told him you never wanted to see him again and then tore one of those weird transporters I refuse to walk through out of his closet before disappearing into a cloud of rage energy. That’s just in the past couple days. I am sure we can come up with a few other things, like lack of a schedule, lack of meetings, how you announced your problems to the world and what effect that has had on you. So what about it? Where do you want to start? Mass murder or the argument last night with your boyfriend?”

Kara groaned again and thought of opening a portal to Mars and sending Leslie through it.

“I did what I had to do. I don’t need anyone in my life, and he doesn’t need me. He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“No shit.” Leslie agreed. “You basically told him he was weak, stupid and to try not to get his back broken again. Called his best friend a joke and trashed his whole team. Honestly it would have been less painful if you took a knife and cut his junk off. Between the beating you gave Grayson and last night, I give you credit, when you break up with someone, you don’t do it half way. You didn’t do that last night because you wanted to push him away. You lost it and said exactly what you were thinking. Why? Why last night? Because he fought an alien and you didn’t know?”

Kara snorted and buried her head deeper into the pillow away from Dr. Thompkins. “Does it really matter why I did it?” she asked, keeping her eyes closed. “I need sleep. Everyone tells me I need sleep so go away and let me sleep.”

Kara heard no words for a few seconds, a bit hopeful that Leslie had given up already and would come back later to bother her.

The bucket of water dumped on her head, ended that notion.

Kara sat up from the shock of it. It was cold and she must have had a bracelet on. So much for the ring protecting her.

“What was that? My sheets are soaked now!”

Leslie grinned, satisfied.

“Good, not get out of bed and talk to me. I brought another chair for you. Have a seat and let’s get to work.”

The girl grumbled and walked into her bathroom, changing into a robe and wrapping a towel around her head then sat as instructed. At least it was one of her cushioned table chairs.

“Forget the about outbursts for now. Let’s start with your impromptu press conference you decided to have on an impulse without talking to anyone. You did good. That was a brave thing and helped more people than you can imagine, even if that wasn’t your goal. I was proud of you. You seemed confident, mature, at peace. You put yourself out there. Sometime between then and now you reverted to the self-destructive brat I first met at the Block. What is going on?”

Kara squirmed a bit, looking at the ceiling, to Leslie’s left then right, then the floor, trying to think of what she would want to hear.

“Look me in the eyes and stop trying to figure out what I want to hear. You know it doesn’t work on me. I can smell lies on you. Answer the question, Kara, now.”

“Everything is going on. Nothing is going on. I don’t know, okay? Yeah, it felt good to get it off my chest. The world doesn’t think I am some perfect godlike being who abandons humanity on a whim. It didn’t solve anything. I still want to drink and it seems pointless to talk with a group of people about alcohol and drugs all the time. I can’t get drunk so what difference does it make? This ring is never coming off. They have figured out a way to alter my brain waves but not remove this ring. If anyone could its my parents and sister and they say they believe they can but I know they can’t. This damn ring, it makes me feel…”

Kara hesitated so Leslie took an obvious guess. “Less human?”

The blonde shook her head. “I’ve never felt human. The closest I came was with the crystal inside me and I was happy. It was good, but I still knew I wasn’t human. The ring doesn’t make me feel like a different person, it makes me feel… I’m not sure. It’s like this devil on my shoulder. Everything bad inside me, every urge I have tried to keep at bay since I quit, now it wants to come out. I miss the fights. I miss the violence, the adrenalin, the pain, the release. That release that came after destroying something, someone, it felt so good. Even if I felt guilty about it afterward, the idea of…”

Leslie held up her hand. “Are you ever going to stop fighting Non and Astra? How many times are you going to kill them? When will you stop letting them win anyway? They are dead. Why do you think you can’t get that through your head?”

Kara thought for a moment.

“I don’t know.” she admitted. “I don’t know if I can. I told Astra if she made me kill her I would hate her forever. I still hate her.”

“And you still love her.” the woman pointed out. “That’s confusing, isn’t it? So has the ring just given you an excuse to cut loose or are you actually influenced by it?”

The girl did not know what to say. The ring talked to her it seemed. Its power begged to be released at times but it never used words. Kara communicated with it on a more primal level. But did it make her do things?

“I am… tempted more than I was when I was… her. When I got to Mars and saw those… monsters celebrating wiping out a race, it was the trigger I needed I guess. I felt stronger than I had in my entire life and all I wanted to do is wipe their race out, the way they destroyed J’onn’s. I never had the ability to fly to Mars before. I could but it would have taken me years. I ran the numbers one time and had Kelex double check them. Without a ship… if I borrowed Lobo’s he would have gone with me. He is strong but neither of us were strong enough to take out an entire race. Plus he would have told my family before he took me, knowing they would stop me.” Kara admitted. “But this time… I made the decision. I knew what I was doing. Yeah, the ring felt better and it was intoxicating to wield that much power but I would have done it anyway without it. I wouldn’t have survived probably but I would have taken a few out.”

Leslie suspected this. Kara’s parents and sister hoped the ring was causing some of her actions, causing her to fall back to where she was. The ring had nothing to do with it. The blonde was using it as an excuse to let loose the demons she had been wrestling with since she entered the Block. Before the Block she never had a problem with holding the demons back because she simply didn’t try, she just fought her enemies and unleashed hell on them.

“You went through another traumatic experience that has knocked you back. You need to stop falling before you hit the ground and the progress you have made is gone.”

“It wasn’t traumatic.” Kara argued. “It was a fight and some bad things happened to me but it was nothing compared to… other things.”

Leslie snorted. “You fought a creature that nearly beat you to death, a creature Zor El created. You haven’t felt that weak since Hank Henshaw tried to take you. You saw your friend Lobo have his heart punched out, saw J’onn nearly die taking a hit for you and then, just as you were about to die, you thought you saw the sister you love more than life itself die in an explosion and could do nothing. You took a cosmic weapon that changed you physically, turned you into a mindless monster and had to be taken to another planet that resembled hell and spent four days in a lake of some sort of blood. You don’t consider that traumatic?”

“I admit I have had better days.” the blonde told her, trying to laugh it off. Leslie wasn’t buying it.

The therapist took a deep breath and leaned forward, elbows on knees, looked at the girl then asked the question she had been wrestling with asking.

“What did you see while you were drowning in that lake? Until you face it, you will never get past it. Tell me.”

Kara shivered a bit and considered taking the band off. It wouldn’t have mattered though. That shiver wasn’t caused by the temperature.

“I told you I don’t remember much. It was just a lot of confusion and… I saw Alex’s jet get hit and the next thing I knew I was with Diana and we were puking the blood that had filled us up. I don’t remember details.”

“You are lying.” Leslie told her. “Out with it. I know in my gut that you remember more than you are saying. Tell me Kara. Stop being a coward. You told the whole world you were an addict with mental health issues. You were brave then. This is just the two of us, and no matter what happened, it is over. There is nothing to fear now.”

“I am not scared.” Kara told her defensively.

Leslie shook her head. “You are always scared of something. I know you, Kara. Maybe I don’t have the history you have with others which is probably why I know you better. I’m not fooled or blinded by years of memories. I do this for a living and I am very good at my job. Stop lying and tell me what you saw.”

“Everything!” Kara shouted suddenly. “I saw everything.” she said again, quieter.

Leslie was pleased. Perhaps they would get somewhere today.

“Tell me what you mean by everything.”

Kara shook her head, a tear leaking out. She had done her best to keep her memories of that time at bay but as time went on and she sat in her house at night, not sleeping, the memories became stronger.

“I know why Atrocitus hated the Guardians. He wasn’t always a bad guy. Before the Guardians… he was like you, kind of a psychologist on his planet, only nicer. He had a family that he loved so much, a wife, children, parents. The Guardians had created an army of androids to supposedly protect the Universe before they created the Green Lantern Corp. That army went rogue and began wiping out civilizations, whole sectors of the universe. Atrocitus was one of only five people in his sector who were not killed. He… I saw everything. Everything from his family dying to his imprisonment to killing his fellow survivors to make the rings and battery, all so he could kill the Guardians in revenge, for his family, for his people, for billions destroyed by their arrogance. I understand why he wanted to kill them. I want to kill them. I can’t hate him, despite what he did because I understand what hate can turn someone into. I saw everything he saw, the wars, the battles between the Reds he created and Greens who protected those bastards from him. I understood him. I still do. I probably would have done the same.”

Leslie admitted her herself that she was surprised and had thought nothing could surprise her anymore. She expected Kara to go through some period of nightmares, hallucinations, like what she saw during withdrawals.

The idea that Kara empathized with the one person most responsible for turning her into a Red Lantern was shocking.

“He did horrible things,” she continued, “he was responsible for Doomsday landing on Earth, letting Lex find him, setting him loose. He did all those things to bait me, all so he could use me as a mindless weapon to achieve his revenge and as much as I should hate him, a large part of me understands. Look what I became because I thought Alex was dead. If she really was, if my family was dead, do you think I would be here or going to a grief counselor? I would be looking for any target, him, Sinestro, the Guardians. I would take control of the Reds and I wouldn’t stop until we burned all the Corps and the same time, praying that someone would kill me. I feel that need for vengeance inside me and I feel the need to be here with my family. I feel torn in two.”

Leslie was pleasantly surprised that Kara opened that much without her pulling teeth. She also felt a shiver. Living with her own traumatic memories had been hard enough on the girl. Now she had seen another creature, one who had once been innocent and became twisted by hate beyond recognition and felt his emotions.

This was bad.

“Is that what you want to become? Do you want to become him? Forget about Kara Danvers, forget about the good you have done and give in to the temptation?” she asked cautiously.

Kara shook her head quickly. “I just want to be… a part of me does. A bigger part of me just wants to make my family finally proud of me. To be the daughter they deserve. I don’t know if I have that in me but I want it. I was so close and then… its like the Universe or fate or something has decided this is supposed to be my life. I also saw other things, things that showed me who I really am.”

Leslie raised an eyebrow and sat back, not sure if they should cut the session here or keep going for the next twenty minutes. Of course when Kara was opening, it was best to let her keep going.

“Go on.” she encouraged.

“I relieved my past, from the beginning. I relieved good times and I relieved bad times. Sometimes I relived moments where I wanted to kill someone, like Zor El or Non or a guy from high school that used to tell his friends he screwed me, lied about me constantly. Only this time, I killed them, always with a knife. I killed Zor El with a knife, and that guy and… I only used my powers to kill one person. I flew Cameron Chase over National City and held her by the neck. I actually did that but this time I let her drop.”

“Whoa!” Leslie stopped her. “When the hell did that happen? It seems like something I would remember you saying.”

“She and Alex had a fight three years ago and Alex walked out. Chase went to a bar and when she came out, I grabbed her by the throat and took her up. I told her if she ever yelled at Alex again I would kill her. I also told her what I would do to her family and friends if she ever told Alex or anyone about this. She believed me, she knew what I was capable of and she knew I wasn’t lying. She wore a turtleneck or scarf for two weeks until the bruising went away. Her and Alex continued to fight of course, but she kept her voice down.”

Kara smiled at the memory as if she were telling a friend a fond story of her childhood. The therapist was very disturbed by that. In the past when Kara admitted to doing something horrible she looked ashamed or regretful. She had just talked about holding a woman a few hundred feet off the ground by her neck and found the memory amusing.

There was no doubt in her mind, being in that lake effected Kara more than she was letting on and probably more than she realized herself.

They had a lot of work to do.

“We are going to stop there. I’m going to raid your fridge and you are going to have your brainwashing session. When we get back we are going to talk about last night. This topic isn’t over yet though. We will go into more detail tonight so prepare yourself.”

Kara groaned.

“I don’t want to talk about last night. I lost it, I told him to stay away. It hurts like hell but what is done is done. I doubt he wants to see me anymore, ever. You want me to call to apologize or what? I really don’t want to hear his voice right now.”

Leslie shook her head. “I never wanted you involved with him right now. I told your parents you had too much to work on to be involved in a relationship. A relationship takes a lot work and you have too much work to do on yourself to commit, especially with someone in the same field of work you were leaving behind. Your parents insisted he was good for you and he was, but it’s catching up now. I don’t doubt you love him and he loves you or he wouldn’t have followed you to that hell but it’s going to always end in disaster until you can come to some sort of peace with yourself. We are going to talk about what triggered your reaction last night and why you acted so impulsively instead of talking about it like an adult. Anger management is more important than ever now, Kara. Go. I’ll have microwave pizza ready when you get back and we can keep going.”

Central City

Barry watched the clock tick until finally five o clock came. He had spent the day trying to find something to do, as a forensic scientist or as the Flash. Nothing happened. There were no new crime scenes to process and he finished the reports on the other crime scenes, like his deep fried Congressman, and sent it to the DEO who would process the case as the FBI, reporting that a rogue alien had killed the man and would be held in containment indefinitely until due process could be determined. Normally the DEO would take the alien and keep it in a cell forever but because of the high profile of the victim, the news media was hounding the criminal justice system for answers about everything, especially regarding a trial.

He faxed his report and was done for the day, cleaning his lab then surfing the internet the rest of the time.

He did everything he could to not think about the night before and especially about Kara.

He failed. Barry’s body was still red in places, as if he had a bad sunburn that Aloe Vera wouldn’t fix and every time he moved the fabric of his clothes made it worse. The man just wanted to go home, fix his door better than he had the night before with Wally and try to decide what to do about the hole in the back of his closet.

When he got home a surprise was waiting for him. Jessica was outside his door.

“Hi. I thought we didn’t have a session scheduled until tomorrow night. I guess you heard, huh?” He didn’t know why he was surprised. Jessica still saw Alex, Eliza and Jeremiah for weekly sessions and as such there would be no secrets involving Kara’s actions.

“Alex may have mentioned it to me. Then Eliza. Then Jeremiah called an hour later and just suggested I see you a day early. He said you would need someone to talk to. For a group that has had years of family sessions together their communication skills with each other still suck. You think they would have gotten together and picked one person to call me. You up for this or want to wait? I can grab a hotel for the night but I am missing the Voice for this.”

Barry nodded his head in agreement, not really feeling like being alone but not wanting to talk to all his friends tonight, afraid of what their reactions to last night had been. Wally was fine. Kara had only called him inexperienced. She did however call Cisco a joke and basically called Caitlin Killer Frost and the same as her doppelganger. She didn’t say anything about Dante except asking him if he had forgotten what he knew about aliens but Dante knew and Barry suspected, that the former incident between the two may have passed but their relationship would never be the same.

Kara had done it again and this time effectively, cutting out everyone except those she had known over the years. Outside her family, he had no doubt she would still include Bruce and J’onn but doubted anyone else would get close to her.

For the first time, Barry wondered if he would have been better off never having seen her again, or at least letting it go after she left S.T.A.R. the first time he saw her, thinking Nightwing was her boyfriend.

The man also seriously did not understand how Dick Grayson put up with years of her abuse. Probably because he told her whatever she wanted to hear. She either didn’t care if he was injured or killed or had confidence he would always live, just like she believed Bruce would.

“Talking to you would be good.” Barry told her.

The two had a seat on the couch and as usual, Jess began. She was used to Barry not knowing where to start.

“Kara over the years has told me she hated me so many times I lost count when she was 15.”

“And she didn’t mean it, huh?” the man guessed.

Jessica shook her head. “She meant it. At the time she said it, she definitely hated me. It didn’t take her long to get over it though. I challenged her and she never liked that. It was my job though. Tell me about last night. The fight with the Infernian, give me the details, what you were thinking, feeling, everything leading up to it and the fight itself.”

Barry reflected, wondering what he had been thinking. He should have used that suit. He nearly did die from heat stroke as did his team. With it, the temperature no matter how high, wouldn’t have bothered him.

“I wanted to prove to myself and my team that we could handle it on our own. We haven’t handled anything on our own in a long time. I have been with the Justice League. Our team hadn’t really had a fight since Zoom. I fought Killer Croc and we had some plan to take him down involving metal nets but Lobo came in and took him out in seconds. We hadn’t won in a long time and I still feel like Zoom beat us. If those Time Wraiths hadn’t showed up, I am not sure what I would have done. I know what I should have done but I don’t think I would have then.”

“Continue.” Jess encouraged when Barry stopped talking for a moment. Unlike Kara and Alex, it did not take much for Barry to open up, something she greatly appreciated.

The man looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath, then seemed to deflate in defeat.

“When Wally and I got there, I… despite what everyone I have worked with in the past six months told me, I stopped moving. I told her to give up. I thought seeing me may cause her to rethink her actions. I watched her hands, ready to move out of the way if she tried anything but then I was surrounded by a circle of flames so hot I had never felt anything close to it. The heat, it wasn’t a regular fire. I tried to back up and realized we were surrounded. I… froze I guess. If I ran in circles inside, the fire would have gone up but taken us with it I think. I’m still not sure. I tried a vortex with my arms to clear a path but nothing worked. It was too hot. Then Cisco and Caitlin were there but they couldn’t do anything. Caitlin cooled me off just enough that I felt I could take a chance and run through it. I did and it hurt like hell, but I took her out.”

Jess detected a lack of pride in his voice and knew why.

“Kara yelled at you, furious that you had been hurt, could have been killed, right?”

“Something like that.” Barry admitted. “No, exactly like that.”

Jess wondered if she should say what she was about to say. Would it be betraying anything Kara had ever told her? She didn’t think so, considering what she had told Barry and then the world.

“Barry, have you ever given any thought, ever had any real idea, how hard it is to have a relationship, love someone who has a mental illness of the degree that Kara has? Have you ever considered that she has too many issues to be in a relationship with anyone? That she is still a recovering addict, an alcoholic and unmedicated manic depressive and will be battling these problems for the rest of her life?”

The man shrugged his shoulders, noncommittally. “I think about it all the time.”

“Have you thought that you will never be able to have a serious relationship while you still blame yourself for your mother and father’s death? That you don’t have the confidence you are trying to force yourself to feel, no matter how much better you have gotten or how much good you have done?”

“I guess I haven’t really.” he admitted quietly.

“Have you ever thought that if you and Kara were to ever have something real and healthy in the future that you are going to have to quit being the Flash? Is that something you are prepared to do one day? This ring is bad enough for her. She will never be able to quit as long as you are involved. The Flash is a big part of who you are. We have talked about the times you lost your powers in the past and how you felt a large part of you was missing. That wasn’t your speed you were missing. That was the part of you that wants to be a superhero. Kara was easier to convince because she had her fill of mangled and burned victims. She never started off wanting to be a hero either. You haven’t even begun to see the things she has. You have had terrible things happen to you and you deal with them by helping others and that is a good thing, much healthier than other habits. Still though, if you want to be with her, have a healthy relationship, one day you will have to quit. Are you prepared for that? Can you live without the Flash?”

Barry thought of this, not saying anything for a minute. Could he? Would he ever even consider it? He thought of the times he and Kara had, the times they were alone, normal, no Flash and no Supergirl, times before the ring and after the Block where it seemed everything was perfect.

Which made him feel more complete?

“I can’t be with her until she realizes I can take care of myself and her. If she could realize that, then maybe… I don’t know.”

Jessica recognized this as an honest answer. Unlike Kara, Barry never lied or deflected.

“Lets talk about Atrocitus. You killed him. You cut off his hand and his head. How did that make you feel, after the adrenalin had passed? It was a crazy week afterward, including visiting a planet that resemble Hell. You have had some time to process it. How did you feel about killing Atrocitus?”

Barry answered immediately. There was no need to think about this. He already had.

“I felt amazing. He was trying to hurt, control, the woman I love. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake and… Diana trusted me to do it. She had told me the plan before we even found him. Her and Curry would attack, she would take the fire and Curry threw her sword to me. I would either use the sword to cut through whatever shield he had or if it didn’t work phase into the shield and tear him apart. She had confidence in me. She never asked if I could do it, or if it would be safe. She took a hit because she knew I could do it. Killing him, it was satisfying on so many levels. Kara may not have believed in me but she did, Bruce did, even Curry never doubted me. If somehow Atrocitus caught me, he had his trident near and would attack, but Diana didn’t think it would come to that.”

“It felt good to be trusted, right? Some part of you isn’t wondering why you were able to take a life now though?”

Barry shook his head. “I could do it now because Zoom was my breaking point I think. I would not lose anyone else I love because I was afraid or believed in some moral code that would cost someone else their life.”

Jessica was not surprised. She knew her husband had that effect on people. When Barry started training with Connolly’s team, it was a matter of time. She had hoped he might gravitate more towards Batman’s methods when he began working with the team of superheroes but it looked like Diana had taken him under her wing and Diana’s techniques for stopping baddies matched Kara’s. She put them down permanently.

She also suspected that Bruce had the same feelings Kara had in regard to his methods. Jess figured he had always been afraid to kill humans because it was that code that allowed him to keep his sanity. He used his agreement with Kara not to leave aliens alive as an excuse to let his true demons out and secretly agreed with her methods. He had certainly made no attempt to stop Diana from turning Barry into someone who would kill without hesitation if necessary. Diana wasn’t a mindless killer. She was a warrior and when she went to war, she took no prisoners unless she had to. She was an Amazon and from what Jessica understood about their culture, war, dying and killing honorably was something that was engrained in all of them.

“It’s your decision.” Jessica told him. “If you push your way back in, Kara will let you in… to a point. If you want her to get better, to truly get to a place where she could allow love into her life, then you are going to have to wait. At least if that is something you still want. Its okay to take care of you. She will be fighting herself as long as she lives. It isn’t easy, its incredibly hard and I can’t tell you if it is worth it. I love her, Barry. Its probably why I became an ineffective therapist for her. From personal experience, outside of being her therapist in the past I can tell you, loving her is hard.”

Barry snorted. “Not for Alex or Clark or her parents. On the way back from Ysmault, Alex cleaned her up in the bathroom and when they came out, Kara kept herself pressed against her the entire trip. I sat next to her but it was Alex she clung to.”

Jess was not surprised in the least.

“I can’t explain it Barry, but those two had an extreme bond since they first saw each other, more extreme than any bond I have ever seen. She hid from this world, even Clark for a lot of years, with only her parents and Alex. For over a decade they have protected each other, hid a huge secret, gone to war for each other. If you try to compete with that you will lose. Luckily, if you ever decide you want to try and have something real, you will realize that you don’t have to compete. It isn’t a game to see who scores more points. I think she loves you, but she hates herself. It makes it hard to give something you see as bad to someone who you see as good.”

Barry leaned back into the couch, feeling his eyes stinging with tears. The man knew she was right. Kara was damaged and he couldn’t fix her. She would have to fix herself and it wasn’t a competition. Barry wanted to be the one to save her but not even her parents and sister stopped her from becoming dependent on alcohol and drugs.

Jessica saw he was absorbing this. Unlike Kara, Barry was not afraid to process his feelings, at least with her. Despite what powers who might have, in many ways, Barry was stronger than Kara. Kara had done impossible things, hard things like killing Astra, and her getting help was something Jess never would have believed. She truly thought they would have to keep Kara in the Block for a long time until she got with the program. Leslie Thompkins changed that.

But Barry was different. He didn’t deny the parts of himself he considered weak. He faced them head on.

“Okay, enough about that. Let’s talk about high school. We covered Junior High last week, before your parents died. Tell me what it was like to be the son of a man falsely imprisoned for killing your mother.”

Gotham City, Batcave

The day and night before had been rough for Kara. Leslie had not lied. In between brainwashing sessions as her therapist lovingly referred to them as, she talked, and talked, and talked about visions she had while in the lake, the feeling of power the ring had given her on Mars, the relationships she had with her family since she returned, her short temper that Leslie believed she was blaming on the ring and everything else the woman could think of.

Everything except Barry. They had briefly touched on it. Kara explained her reason for being so upset and admitted to losing it but still thought in the long term, for his benefit, it was the right thing to do. Leslie had been strangely silent on the topic, other than asking her to think what could happen if she lost it again. Angry was one thing, angry and destructive was another. Afterwards true to her word, Kara was sent to the Batcave where she met Alfred and drove to Wayne Industries R&D facility and met with her old group from the Block in the basement. No one mentioned her statement, just welcomed her with open arms as they had in the past. No questions were asked about the ring on her finger and she didn’t open up to the group as in the past but no one asked her to. Just like at the Block, some nights she talked and others she listened. Alfred seemed happy with her listening. Afterward she was hugged by each of them, told they were relieved she had survived Doomsday.

Kara gave them her thanks but wondered if Kara Danvers had survived Doomsday.

Before leaving the cave, she borrowed a special cutting torch and a small promethium wrench from Bruce’s tool chest.

This morning, fresh off her thirty minute brain altering session and scans afterward, she was back to return what she had taken. The girl had actually woken up early that morning and gotten what she wanted done, the much larger appendages for Kelex attached. From this point it would be internal work on the circuitry and hardware.

She had not checked with Kelex about who was in the Batcave and was pleasantly surprised to find it mostly empty.

Not quite empty though. She heard the heartbeat; the grunts and the air being sliced. Using her X ray vision she saw Arthur Curry practicing in a training room, using his trident as a weapon at superhuman speed that impressed her. Though not as fast as Diana, she suspected, Curry definitely had skill.

He also had his shirt off.

Kara let out a breath and dropped her head.

Deciding if she was going to destroy things there was no reason to go half way, she approached the training room.

Curry was surprised to see her.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you around the emo castle.” he told her with a grin. Kara couldn’t help but notice the sweat he had worked up. She remembered sweating when she had the crystal in her. The feeling of working out using her own depowered strength had given her such a sense of confidence.

“Wasn’t expecting you to be fighting an imaginary enemy. I’ve done that a lot in my life.” she admitted.

Kara realized what she must have looked like, old blue jeans and an old Star Wars t shirt on, her oldest sneaks, hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. She would be continuing to work on Kelex and this was part of her work wardrobe, whether she was rebuilding motorcycles or making weapons for her sister.

“Missing the ocean?” Kara asked. “I can’t imagine Gotham Harbor is a fun place to swim.”

The man laughed, walking closer to her.

“Its a damn waste dump. But Bruce pays me to be here and not run off. I like it. Being part of this, its probably the first important thing I have done in my life. I’ve been wanting to apologize to you, offering you that drink…”

“Don’t.” Kara stopped him. “The last thing I want is people to treat me differently or to pity me. I didn’t mind. So how much is Bruce paying you? Enough to keep you on dry land?”

The man shook his head. “Its not about the money. I’m here for other reasons. What are you doing here?”

Kara smiled, thinking she might get somewhere despite her appearance.

“Bringing back some tools I borrowed last night. Finished with them earlier. If you ever want to swim in some actual clean water, let me know. I could use a swim myself. Antarctica is fun. Plenty of Russian subs to play around with. Drives them crazy.”

Curry grinned, seeing where this was going.

“I’m the fastest swimmer in the world but it would still take me about 20 hours to get there.” he admitted. “It does sound appealing.”

“How would you like to be there in a few seconds? I’m nowhere near the fastest swimmer in the world but I don’t need to breathe and I can hold my own with Orcas. No one is in the Fortress right now. We could take a quick dip. Bruce doesn’t keep you chained down here, does he?”

Curry looked around the place, seeing that nothing on Brother Eye had anything interesting going on.

“Freaky computer thing!”

“Yes?” Brother Eye answered.

“If something pops up, call J’onn. I’m stepping out for a while. I think he is with that Fox guy.” Curry motioned to Kara. “Lead the way.”

A few moments later, Curry found himself inside a giant crystal structure.

“Damn.” he whispered. “A lot nicer than Bruce’s cave.” he admitted, trying not to let awe seep into his voice.

“I like it.” Kara told him, not fooled. She knew he was impressed. The girl zipped away and came back quickly, without her red ankle bracelet and wearing a black Speedo racing suit.

“Nice suit. I think I’ll stick to my jeans. Speedos have never really been my style.”

Kara did not mind.

“I would have to agree. Jeans suit you. Follow me.”

The two walked to the door that was hardly used anymore, the original door leading out into and out of the Fortress. Before Curry had a chance to complain, Kara had him from behind, flying the two low over the Antarctic Continent.

She didn’t stop moving until they reached the water and dropped him into it. Rather than being annoyed or upset, he actually sounded like he was howling in joy when he hit the surface and plunged into the icy water. Kara performed a loop in the air and took a deep breath, crashing below, finding him waiting for her.

The man was smiling, his hair floating in the water behind him and beckoned her with a finger.

Kara followed, amazed at the ease he was swimming. The man swam like she flew, effortlessly and fast. The blonde knew he was holding back as well.

After ten minutes, the breath Kara had stored was out and she remembered the feeling of being without oxygen but it was not there. Her ring allowed her to fly in space without the need to breath because her blood did not need oxygen any longer. Even without her band, the girl realized with red energy running through her system she would not need to oxygenate her ruined blood. There was so much she still needed to learn about this weapon.

Curry found a pod of Orcas and motioned Kara over. He grabbed on by the dorsal fin and stood on top of the creature. Kara did the same and held on as the massive creature rose to the surface, jumping over the waves.

She had touched many Orcas, swam beside them but never surfed one. It was a unique feeling and despite her superhuman abilities, nearly slipped off more than a few times.

The blonde then heard a ping, one she knew well, and the sound of water sliding around a massive object. She took off deep, Curry following her.

Swimming up to the massive Russian sub, she was glad to see he was smiling, apparently amused by her games. She began knocking on the outside shell while he began banging on the front. They both heard alarms going off and shot away, not stopping till they reached the bottom, twenty miles away and four hundred feet deep.

Kara took a look at the man, wondering what her next move would be. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she had an hour tops before someone would be waiting for her in the Fortress. Perhaps it was time to take him back to land.

With a wave of Curry’s hand, she found herself in a large pocket of air, water swirling around them constantly.

“What is this?” she asked, now the one in awe. It was like having a water fall circling around her.

“Its how we talk, Atlanteans anyway. How they… I’m half human but I got all the benefits it seems. Talking with water in your lungs tends to put a downer on conversations.”

“That’s amazing. You definitely got some benefits. How often do people tell you that you have gorgeous eyes? Is that an Atlantean thing or all you?”

Curry moved closer to her and smiled, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

“Kara, a year ago, we wouldn’t have wasted time surfing Killer Whales. You are gorgeous. Problem is, I’m not that guy anymore. At this moment I really wish I was. See I may not be the king of Atlantis but I am the king of using violence, alcohol and meaningless sex to avoid problems. That’s what you are doing right now and it isn’t the answer.”

Kara jerked away from him.

“You don’t know me. Thanks for the swim.”

“Run then, little girl.” Curry told her.

Kara stopped and turned back towards him.

“I do not run. If you aren’t interested thanks for the fun. Feel free to come back to the Fortress and you can go back to Gotham Harbor.” Kara told him, embarrassed and hiding it behind anger as usual.

“If you don’t run, why don’t you tell me why you really brought me to this continent?”

“You know why.” she told him sharply. “You look like the kind of guy who likes fun. I’m the kind of girl who likes fun. It should be simple to figure out. If I’m not your type, my mistake.”

Curry shook his head. “Kara you are all kinds of my type. Hard, strong, beautiful, passionate. I’ve heard enough of your story from others to piece you together. I recognize my own. Only we change. I’ve gone through a lot of changes, and you have gone through one hell of a change recently. Its no big deal, people like us roll with the punches and keep swinging. It doesn’t have to be that way though.”

Kara stepped closer to him and looked up into his eyes.

“I don’t have a fight anymore. I can’t blow off steam like you can. I need different outlets.”

“You need to get your shit together so maybe you and Stick can be happy cause I got news for you, all the sex in the world isn’t going to fill that hole you got. Can I tell you a story about Barry? I guess you don’t want to talk about him right now so feel free to swim away.”

Kara didn’t leave, though a part of her was thinking of leaving him to swim a day back to Gotham.

“I guess you know he killed Atrocitus. Took him out, just like we planned. I admit when I met him, I thought the guy was a joke. Yeah, he was fast but so what? Speed isn’t everything if you can’t stop what you hit. Hell he barely knew how to hit. Without the Flash thing going on he would pretty much get his ass kicked in every fisherman’s bar in Norway. But the more I watched him, the more I saw what else he got inside him.”

“I know what kind of heart he has. I don’t need you telling me about it.” Kara said.

“Yeah, but do you know how tough he is? We raided an alien bomb making facility in Scotland. Didn’t know we were so well traveled, did you? I took on an Anunnake, those guys who claimed to have wiped out dinosaurs, remember?”

Kara nodded her head.

“I’ve met a few. Strong, not great fighters though. They rely on weapons.”

“Maybe they do with you but some of us aren’t in their playing field with strength. I was feeling pretty good. I got to cut loose and was destroying the bastard. Diana, J’onn and Bruce were out getting information and I was alone. Least I thought I was. I cracked that guys skull when I hear some hum behind me. I turn and there is one of those guys with the biggest damn gun I ever seen and it was glowing. He fired and before the energy bolt hit me, Barry Allen picks me up, all 6’6 and 250 pounds of me and moves me out of the way, then hits the guy so hard he knocked him out. I looked at the wall and that damn gun blew a chunk of three foot concrete out. I don’t know if I would have survived that, but I didn’t have to find out cause Allen was on it. He is strong, he is tough and we don’t protect him. We watch each other’s backs but he is there because of his heart, his skill and because he is tough. I trust him with my life. Maybe you should have a little faith in him too.”

Kara shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. Its done, over with. It should have been done a lot earlier. I never should have brought him into this.”

Arthur nodded his head. “That’s your call. I’m not big on matters of the heart and you know what you got to deal with. I’m just suggesting you not make the same mistake I did. I was looking to get over a girl I could never have by sleeping with every girl I gave a wink to. The eyes don’t hurt my case. You are better than that. I’m better than that. We are going to be better than that. So since we both know this isn’t going to happen, want to screw with that sub some more or head back to your hangout?”

Kara grinned at him and relaxed. She found she really liked him. He wasn’t what she expected. “I have something I need to do. Maybe we can do it again some other time?”

Curry shook his head. “Damn, I wish I had never grown a conscience girl. You are gorgeous. I blame this on Diana. Let’s head back. Next time I can give you a tour of one of those torpedo bays.”

The two returned shortly back to the Fortress and entered through the large entrance.

Clark was waiting for them, arms crossed and a frown on his face.

“Are we selling tickets to the Fortress now?” the boy asked.

Kara dropped her head, wishing it had been Alex or Eliza who had been waiting on her. Anyone besides her Dad and Clark.

“Just stopped by for a swim, Superman. Kara is going to let me through one of those gates and I’m going right back to the Batcave.” Curry assured the boy who did not look happy.

Kara walked him to the transporter and gave him a hug until Clark cleared his throat. Once Curry had stepped through the circle of light, she turned back to her little brother.

“What is it going to cost me for you to keep this quiet?” she asked, not bothering with niceties.

“Quiet? I was on Team Flash. I thought we were all on Team Flash. I was going to have t shirts made. Now you have switched over to Team Fish? What is that all about? He probably smells like tuna or something all the time.”

Kara shook her head and knelt next to Clark, looking him in his eyes.

“He is a friend, that’s all. We were out for a swim.”

“A swim you don’t want Mom and Dad to know about.” he countered.

“Clark…”

“It’s fine. I don’t want to think about it. I won’t say anything. Alex and Dad are about to be here for your brainwashing session. Maybe after enough of those you won’t want to swim so often.” he told her, flashing that evil grin she loved so much. “After your brainwashing session we are going to get together at my place. Jess is here for our session.”

“Your place?” Kara asked humorously then realized what he said. “I can’t have sessions with Jess. My therapist from hell won’t allow me to.”

Clark patted her on the shoulder, not holding back in strength. He almost knocked her off balance. He was getting a lot stronger.

“Family counseling sessions. Just like those ones you used to have only I get to be involved. Dr. Evil approved them. She also ate all your microwave pizzas yesterday. We need to talk about you keeping my favorite foods stocked at your house, especially if I am going to have to keep anymore swimming lessons on the down low, right?”

“Family session? You are serious?”

“Am I the type of guy to joke about something that makes you extremely uncomfortable? I take joy in them but I never lie about them happening. This is happening. Mom is on a no sugar kick so make sure to pick up some ice cream and Oreos for your place.”

An hour later, a slightly nauseous Kara sat in the family living room, all of them taking up their familiar positions only with Clark on the floor, back to Kara’s legs. The boy was way too happy.

“Okay,” Jess started. “Kara, as usual this is a family session. All individual sessions are between you and Dr. Thompkins. Our goal here is the same as it always has been. We are going to work on communication among the family, talk about concerns we each have and try to heal as a group after recent events. Clark, you are new to these but feel free to speak at anytime with no fear of judgement.”

Clark looked at her suspiciously. “When did you start sounding like a therapist?” he asked Jess.

“Shut up, brat.” Alex told him.

“Judgement! That was judgement.” the boy pointed out.

Jess took a deep breath and prepared mentally. She knew this would be tough and the addition of Clark was another… development that would need to be smoothed over. Eliza insisted that he be here so he was. Jess had continued doing individual sessions with the parents and Alex but the family meetings had gone by the way side since the Block.

“Okay, lets open it like we always do. Who has something on their mind they would like to talk about?”

All five hands shot up.

Jess closed her eyes and hoped the massive headache she felt coming would hold off for at least an hour.

“Let’s start with you, Clark. This is your first time so tell us what is on your mind.” the woman decided. She hoped if he had some innocent questions, it might ease into a less intense conversation.

Clark cleared his throat.

“First, I would like to say thanks for including me. This is pretty neat. I would also like to thank Alex and Kara. Between Kara slaughtering thousands of White Martians and Alex weaponizing Kryptonian battle suits you guys are making me look like the best kid ever. Also guess who Kara was swimming with earlier?”