Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Survivors

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 18: Lip syncing and a throne of lies

“Thanks for seeing us early.” Jeremiah started, seeming very nervous. Jessica didn’t believe he had ever seen him sweat. “We, Eliza and I, wanted to talk to you about something before you spoke to Kara.”

“Benefit of having only one family as a client. I am available whenever. So has something happened?”

“Yes… did Connolly tell you that his team encountered Astra and Non?”

This caught Jessica by surprise. He would not mention an encounter but he would mention some of his men dying which she believed would happen if they engaged.

“No, we don’t talk about his activities and I don’t talk about mine. If I get involved in their business it would be a matter of time before they wanted to get into mine. They can deal with the aliens that want to harm others. I’m worried about the alien harming herself.”

“Don’t call her that!” Eliza snapped, then dropped her worried eyes again. Jessica sighed.

“I am sorry. That came out wrong. I tend to have sarcastic qualities I am in desperate need of suppressing in my new role.” the woman admitted.

“I just… I know she isn’t from Earth but I don’t want her labeled, not by herself or anyone else.” the woman explained quietly.

Jessica nodded and took a deep breath, wondering why she ever thought she could be a therapist if she couldn’t keep her damn foot out of her mouth. “So I am guessing something in this encounter is the catalyst for this early meeting. Was her aunt killed?”

“No.” Jeremiah told her, his voice indicating she wished she had been. “They managed to hurt them. I don’t know how but they used electricity, a lot of electricity. It didn’t kill them but it did stop them, it hurt them. I am worried since Kara is younger she could be even more susceptible. The problem is I…”

The man stopped talking, so Jess took an educated guess. “You are afraid if you tell her she will harm herself?”

Eliza shook her head. “No, thats not it. You see, if Alex gets sick, I know what to do. I know when to give her Tylenol, I know when to give her household drugs for whatever ailment she might have. I know when to take her to the doctor or hospital. We have no hospital or doctor we can take Kara or Clark for that matter. We know Kara passes out and can vomit due to panic attacks, we know Clark runs a fever when he is teething. We know he isn’t invulnerable or strong like Kara but we don’t know why.”

“And you need to study them.” Jess finished, seeing the dilemma. “It sounds like your mind is made up. Do you want me to run it by Kara? Because I think the reasoning should come from the two of you.”

“No.” Jeremiah told her, looking at Eliza. “We want to know how to approach the subject without making her feel like she is a science experiment. I don’t like this, but what if she is exposed to some Earth virus that she reacts badly to? What if she does come down with a fever, or is able to take medication and we are withholding it because we think it won’t work?”

“Stop for a moment. You are justifying this to me. You don’t have to. You two have made the decision. As far as Kara, she will let you do anything you want. She won’t say no to either of you.”

“We think she may react badly to us learning about Clark.” Eliza admitted.

Jess shook her head. “I’m going to take a wild guess here about Kryptonian culture. It was very family oriented from what I can tell but not in the warm and cozy atmosphere like your home. Their ruling factions were based on family ties. Blood of Kara like royalty because that is, in a way, what she was. However instead of the spoiled princess you had a princess with the expectations of thousands of years of tradition and expectations on her back. Kara hasn’t spoken to me much about it, but I am just guessing from what I understand about the genetic manipulation that went on in the embryo stage. Now she is thrown into a new world and her only job, her only duty is to protect the crown prince, the boy who would be king. Now she doesn’t even have that anymore. She doesn’t know who she is much less where she fits in. It will get better but one thing is certain. She will do whatever you want her to do. She desperately wants to impress you three. I wasn’t kidding when I said she would clean this house top to bottom with a toothbrush if you asked her to.”

“I don’t want her to feel like that.” Eliza told the woman.

“No you don’t. It doesn’t mean that isn’t how she feels. You also don’t want her to have panic attacks, stop eating, stop sleeping, burning her arms and have vivid night terrors but they happen. I think one day she can be a wise cracking rebellious teen you want to have. Probably not rebellious but it is going to get better. For right now… I haven’t spoken to Kara much about her parents or Krypton yet so I am not divulging any confidential information but you both told me she talks about her mother often. She has mentioned her father but I have a feeling males were probably more involved with sons or work. Has she said anything to either of you about this?”

“No, we really haven’t talked to her about her parents except when she brings it up. Should we?” the father asked.

“No, if she wants to bring it up she will.”

“No, Jeremiah, she is right.” Eliza admitted. “Kara loved both her parents but it is her mother she talks about the most. She barely ever mentions her father.”

Jess nodded, suspecting as much. “I have a feeling from what Jason told me, that when Kara became more interested in law her mother took over the nurturing role, as much as possible in a house with so many traditions and rules to follow. She no doubt loved her father and I could be wrong but I don’t think she had the same relationship with him as her mother or even her aunt.”

“So what? You are saying she has Daddy issues?” Jeremiah asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

“That is exactly what I suspect. That means she will seek both your approval but she will desperately seek your approval, Jeremiah. She loves you both but she is going to crave your attention. You both mentioned in our first session about Jeremiah sleeping on the roof with her the first night she stayed here?”

Both nodded.

“That is the kind of action that I am betting was unheard of on Krypton. I have a feeling relationships were more formal. You doing something like that… Jason told me the first time she flew she asked you if you could all have pizza instead of showing off for J’onn. She looked right at you Jeremiah. When she came down and told everyone the green guy could read minds she was looking right at you. She is the one who showed you where her sun was. She is the one who sat down and drew out her path here, hoping you would understand. You are the one who talked her out of leaving at the cemetery.”

“Connolly notices a lot.” Jeremiah admitted. The man had never thought of this but she was right.

“I am just telling you this because I know she loves you both but unconsciously she has already began placing you on a pedestal nearly as high as Alex’s. She is going to look to you Eliza for love and nurturing, and learn that the more demonstrative human form of nurturing is acceptable. But you Jeremiah, she is going to strive to impress. If you tell her to do something, she will do it. That is a lot of responsibility. She wants Eliza’s love but she wants your approval. I would imagine her deciding to focus on the law instead of science may have limited her interactions with her father.”

“I don’t want her to agree to impress me.”

“She will regardless. The key is to explain your reasoning, which is very sound and give her an option. Stress that it is her choice. She may not be able to believe that but it is something that can come with time. Now I need to ask you both something. I may have some way for the two girls to combat the nightmares. They feel vunerable. They are scared, Alex is whether she wants to admit it or not. I think they need to learn to fight.”

“Absolutely not!” Eliza practically screamed.

“I heard you out, now can you please return the favor?”

“Fine.” the woman grudgingly admitted. Jess explained the benefits of learning different styles of fighting and how it may help the girls feel more in control of their own lives. Jeremiah could see her point but Eliza would have none of it.

“If she learned to fight, she would go after Non and Astra.” the mother argued.

“You think she will need to learn to fight to do that? From what I understand she nearly ran off to find them and force Non to kill her without any knowledge or skills.” the therapist reminded her. “It won’t work if you both don’t back it. I honestly think Kara would feel better knowing she could protect all of you, or at least have a chance because she can truly control her powers. Alex needs to get some sense of security. She is extremely protective and felt unable to stop those DEO men. Of course she couldn’t have done anything but the idea that she couldn’t scares the hell out of her.”

“If we encourage Kara, how do we know she won’t go after them?” Eliza pressed.

“I guess you are going to have to trust her. You do trust her, right?”

“We trust her.” Jeremiah agreed. “But, she almost left once…”

“And you talked her out of it. You carried her home, literally. At least to the car. Like I said, she is going to crave your approval. She knows you don’t want her to fight so she won’t. For now.”

That caught both parents attention.

“What do you mean for now?” Elia asked suspiciously.

Jess shrugged her shoulders. “She is a fighter. When you were all safe she went after Henshaw. She didn’t hesitate, she burned his arm off and melted the gun in his hand. She crushed his foot deliberately because she was angry and he threatened you all. I don’t think she will go after this Non and Astra anytime soon, probably not until she is an adult but trust me, the girl is a warrior. If my boyfriend and his boy band can’t take them out by then, she will try. You can bet Alex will be right there with her. Now do you want those two prepared come what may and trust them not to use what they learn to place themselves in danger, or let them stay uncertain and feeling weak, afraid? You never thought the DEO would be on your doorstep and there they were. They are both waiting for the next threat and won’t be able to fully relax until Kara is sure that she has a chance, at least for you to get away and Alex has some sort of defense. Your call. If you are okay with it, you need to be as committed as they will be. If you aren’t, it won’t work and I will have to find other ways to alleviate the fear. Martial arts is good for the mind and soul. It also teaches discipline and serenity. They may not need discipline but serenity isn’t a bad thing, is it? Especially if it helps them sleep.”

Eliza nodded and took a deep breath. “I suppose that makes sense.” she admitted.

“Good. You can have a family meeting to talk about your ideas for testing Kara and Clark. I have no doubt it will be off the books. If they were my kids I would want to know how to protect them too.”

Jessica heard the front door open and Alex and Kara talking. Both seemed happy and this gave Jessica hope that Kara’s mood would flow into their therapy session. As soon as the two settled in her and Alex’s room she realized this wouldn’t be true.

“So have you decided which of the three areas we should discuss today?” she asked the blonde.

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “Not really. I haven’t burned myself. Do we have to talk about it today?”

Jess raised an eyebrow. “I’m glad you haven’t burned yourself. Have you wanted to?”

Kara looked at the floor. “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t burned myself. I am following the rules.”

Jess noted that Kara would not look her in the eyes. The blonde’s eyes were darting all around the room, over and around her.

“Have you felt as if you were going to have a panic attack?”

“No.” Kara answered shortly. Jess doubted this was the case. Something was up.

“So since our last talk you have not wanted to hurt yourself nor have you felt any anxiety? At all?”

“Why do you keep asking me that? I haven’t burned myself and I have not felt like I am… afraid.”

Burning herself. Kara kept saying burning herself.

“I asked if you have hurt yourself. That does not only mean burning. Your mother was a lawyer, right?”

“She was a judge.” Kara mumbled. “I was designed to be.”

Jess caught the bitterness in the girl’s voice and filed it away. “I see. I understand you began studies very young on Krypton. You said last time we talked that it was important to be right, correct?”

“Yes.” Kara was looking more uncomfortable by the second, so Jess eased back. The last thing she wanted was the young girl to feel as if she was backed into a corner.

“And if your mother was a judge and you wanted to follow in her footsteps, did you have to study the law?”

“Of course.” Kara told her fidgeting her hands.

“So you know that technicalities are important. I asked you if you wanted to burn yourself and you said you did not. I asked you if you have wanted to hurt yourself and you told me you hadn’t burned yourself. Kara, we are going to be truthful with each other, right? I won’t lie to you and you won’t lie to me or this is never going to work. Now, have you harmed yourself in anyway?”

Kara stood up and began pacing. “I don’t want to talk about it. You said you wouldn’t make me talk about anything that I didn’t want to.”

“And you said you would let someone know…”

“If I burned myself! I didn’t, okay? Alex shouldn’t have to follow me around. I am fine!”

“Yep, you are definitely the picture of fine right now. Why don’t you sit down and we can discuss this? Tell me what you are doing so we can put a plan in place.”

“I’m not admitting anything. I didn’t burn myself. I didn’t use this heat vision inside the house or anywhere. There is no need for me to be treated like I can’t take care of myself. I always have! I always took care of Kal El since he was born. I will not be followed around like I am breakable!”

Jess took a deep breath. “Kara, please, for me, for yourself, sit down and explain what is going on. Maybe it is something they don’t need to follow you around for. But we have a plan, a plan you agreed to. I don’t want to see you in pain and right now, you look like you are in a lot of pain.”

“Pain is all I have of my own! I need it to feel… something!”

Kara began breathing heavy, trying to hold back the tears and failing miserably.

“Okay, lets take a step back. I want to talk today but if you don’t want to that is okay. But I would like to. I can tell you are upset and I want to know why but if you don’t feel you can tell me could you tell someone?”

Kara walked over to her chair and practically dumped herself on it. “Sorry.” the girl whispered, the fight seeming to have left her.

“You don’t have to apologize to me. If you are going to or need to yell at someone I would prefer it to be me. Has something happened at school yesterday or today?”

“No. Nothing that doesn’t usually happen. Alex stays by my side and people ignore her unless they want to find out if some new rumor is true about me. I am tired of being talked about. If we were on Krypton, these children would not dare say the things they are saying.” she told Jessica bitterly.

“What would have happened on Krypton?”

“I cannot tell you. It never would have occurred. It just would not. Anyone spreading such things would be… I do not know. It was unheard of. It did not happen. Maybe Jor El thought I was just a babysitter but I was the daughter of Alura and Zor El. No one would speak of me in that manner. I wish I was not so strong. I would… I would…”

“What would you do?”

“Nothing.” she whispered. “I just don’t understand it. Alex said it would die down after a few weeks but it has been months and they still talk about me. I don’t bother them, I don’t talk to them, I don’t eat beside them but they still talk about me.”

“Are there any kids that aren’t mean? Who are nice to you? Besides Alex of course.”

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. “The girls in choir are nice. The boys look at me, strangely. One always seems to sweat and stutters when he talks to me but he is nice enough.”

“So have you gotten to know these children?”

“I think enough people know about me. Every human I become involved with is in danger. It is bad enough that I have brought Eliza, Jeremiah and Alex into my life. They have nearly been killed for showing me kindness. I will not let anyone else be in danger.”

Jessica saw the resignation in her eyes. The girl had been preparing for a life of isolation from the world for a long time. She had accepted being with the Danvers but as far as the world at large, it was apparent Kara had every intention of staying out of it.

“So you plan to keep to yourself for the rest of your life? Is that the kind of life you expect Clark to live?”

“No!” she answered quickly. “He will grow up here. It will be all he knows. I will tell him if he ever starts to show powers that we are aliens from a dead planet. That is all he will need to know. I won’t ever tell him about that place. It would do him no good.”

“You say that place. Do you not miss it? Do you not miss anything about Krypton?”

“I miss everything.” Kara told her quietly. “It isn’t fair. I knew it, I knew everything, or most everything about the planet except for the fact that it was dying. I was not told. I was not told about being sent here because I was a child who couldn’t keep a secret. I was not told my mother was helping break the laws she enforced. She once told me that the law was above all else. She and my father broke it.”

“That is why you are angry at your parents. Is there any other reason?”

“They could have told me!” Kara nearly shouted, standing up once again. “I went to sleep and my world was the same. I was woken and in minutes I was saying goodbye to my parents. I had no idea that I would never see them again. They told me I had to protect him, that the planet was dying and I had to go. I wanted to say goodbye! They could have told me. I could have told them I loved them more, I could have been prepared! Instead, I didn’t know what was going on. The world around me was falling apart, screams, there were screams everywhere! I cried, I told her I loved her. My father hugged me but he never said it. I didn’t have a chance to say it to him. I was gone. Kal El wasn’t crying. He had no clue what was going on and he will never remember. I do. I have to live with that.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“I don’t know! I… don’t know. I miss her, them, but they are gone. I’m never going to see them again. All I have is this necklace. She knew I would never see her again. She didn’t even send me food! She knew I would have to steal. She was supposed to be the law! She broke it and knew I would have to! She could have told me!”

Jessica took a deep breath, at this moment wishing she had spent more time in the past actually studying grief therapy instead of psychotic personality disorders. “What would you say to her if she were here now?”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked cautiously.

“If she were in front of you, sitting where I am, and you could say anything, what would you say?”

“Nothing. I would tell her I miss her, I guess. Also how much I love her.”

“You wouldn’t tell her how angry you are?”

Kara shook her head. “I would forget it if I could just have her back. I don’t care that she… I am angry but I just want her back. I want to see her eyes again. I want to see her smile. I want to feel her arms around me. I could hug her as hard as I wanted. She would make me feel better.”

“Do you not think it is okay to be mad, to tell her you are mad?”

“No. I would never say such a thing. She would be hurt. I don’t want her to hurt.”

“Kara would you try something for me? You… I think you express yourself better with art. The drawings you have shown me, they tell me a lot about your feelings. I think you might be able to draw what you feel instead of finding the words. Words can be difficult, even for humans. Start drawing how you feel about your parents and be honest. Put the love into what you draw, the grief, the hurt and anger. Can you do that?”

Kara appeared confused. “I draw what I see. I draw what I see in my dreams sometimes. How am I supposed to draw a feeling?”

Jess pointed to the framed picture on the wall Kara had drawn in art class. “That picture to me says a lot about how you are feeling.”

“It is a picture of the first time I saw Alex.”

“Yeah, and knowing you, it is a picture of love, adoration, hope. That is how you draw a feeling. You expressed love. Now think about your grief, your anger and try not to be afraid to draw it. Be honest with yourself. Don’t be afraid to draw what you feel. We will talk about it next week.”

“Okay. Are we done?”

“I don’t think we are, are we? Not if you are committed to this therapy and this family.”

“Alex will be mad.” Kara told her immediately.

“Alex will be very upset if you keep it from her. She won’t be angry. Perhaps she will express it as anger but she will not be mad at you. She loves you very much. All of them do. Do you want to tell me and I can talk to everyone or would you rather tell them yourself?”

Kara’s eyes darted around, as if looking for a way out. Seeing none, knowing by the look on Jess’s face that she had been caught, she finally gave up.

“I have broken my fingers. I can snap my fingers with my other hand.”

Jessica had not known what to expect but that made her stomach recoil. She schooled her face not to show it but… the idea of someone snapping their own finger, human or not, was something she had never heard of. Of course she had never dealt with self harming, indestructible aliens either.

“That… that must have hurt quite a bit. I guess your fingers have healed?”

Kara nodded her head. “I can straighten them out and it seems to heal after ten minutes. It hurts a lot when I break them and put them back… it hurts a lot.”

“How many times have you done this?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “Six times this week.”

“Do you know what the triggers are that cause you to feel this way?”

“Non! I see him everywhere. I thought he was watching me at the mall, I see him in my nightmares, I see him outside my window at night. Sometimes I see him behind me in the mirror. I know he isn’t there but I can’t stop. And when I… I…”

“You aren’t just afraid are you? You are angry.” Jess told her.

“How would you know how I feel? J’onn thought he knew how I felt. I need to learn to fight. I am tired of feeling helpless.”

“Let me guess. J’onn didn’t want you to learn because he was afraid you would take off and try to fight Non, right?”

Kara looked her in the eyes. “He told you?”

“Nope. He may be a Martian but he is a man and a man who has occupied positions of high authority before. He is used to people doing what he says. Or at least he was. I am pretty sure he is pulling his shapeshifting hair out since he met my houseboy. You are afraid of your powers though, right?”

“Yes, but I have… I need…”

“You need to control them. You need to feel like you can protect yourself and those around you. You wouldn’t go after Non would you? Because if you did and didn’t win he might find out about the Danvers and they would be in danger, especially if he wanted Clark I am betting. The safest way for them to be safe is for you to be hidden. But you have been found once and are scared maybe, of it happening again?”

Kara nodded her head. “He doesn’t… I don’t want to fight but I have to learn.”

“I completely agree.” Jess told her, surprising the blonde.

“You do?”

“Kara, I chased very bad, very emotionally disturbed people who killed others with absolutely no remorse. I had to learn to defend myself. I prefer to take down bad people with many, many officers so we don’t have to fight but we both know life doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes we don’t have a choice. Sometimes we may be backed in a corner. Want to hear a story about me?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “Sure.” It beat talking about herself.

“When I was in college I was obsessed with becoming an FBI agent. I wanted to be in the Behavioral Science Unit and chase the really bad guys, solve the mysteries no one else could. I was going to be a genius, look at crime scenes like Sherlock Holmes and see things other people didn’t see. I studied, I studied hard. I became what I had to be, or I thought I did, to go out there and make myself a legend. I was going to be Clarice Starling without the whole losing her mind thing in the sequel.”

“I am sorry, I have no idea who you are talking about.” the girl admitted.

“Yeah, sorry, I kind of went off point. The thing is I studied so hard I never thought about the reality of going after these people. It seemed simple, put on a badge, carry a gun and they surrender or you shoot them. It isn’t that simple though. The first time at the Academy that the instructor gave me a gun to fire, I had never held a real gun in my life. I was terrified. Kind of the same way you are terrified of your heat vision. Or at least you were. I had to overcome that. I had to work harder than everyone else because everybody else knew what they were doing. I had never been in a fight in my life and I was being taught to take down people, protect myself, hurt the bad guys. It was pretty damn scary.”

“But you did it.”

“Yeah, I did. I had to if I was ever going to feel safe on the job. The people I look for are right out of nightmares, kind of like this Non is for you. If I was being hunted by one of them, and didn’t know how to protect myself I would be terrified. I don’t think you want to fight these escapees. I think you want to be with Alex and Clark and your new family. I think you want to try to get a hold of all the emotions you are feeling that you can’t describe. But you need to have some sort of control or you will never feel safe. So I will talk to my commando at home and Dante if the family agrees. This seems like a decision you should all make together, right?”

Kara dropped her head. “They will not agree. Unless you do not tell them about my finger…”

“Nope. We made a deal. We don’t break deals. Why don’t you keep an open mind and give them a chance. If you explain how you feel instead of holding it in, they just might surprise you. Sound good?”

Kara nodded, not thinking it sounded good at all.

The two walked downstairs, Kara taking in the carefree sight in the living room. Jeremiah was lying on the floor with Clark who was doing his best to tickle the man in return, Alex helping out. Eliza walked in, smiling at the trio on the floor and moved towards her desk to continue work. Everyone stopped when they heard the two reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Good evening everyone. Could we have a family meeting?” Jess asked.

“No. Nothing good ever comes from family meetings. We are going to close our eyes and know that everything is okay, right Kara?” Alex asked. “Everything is okay, right?”

Kara didn’t meet her eyes, telling Alex everything she needed to know.

“Actually I think we all have some things I would like to discuss as well.” Jeremiah agreed.

“Great. Communication is the best thing for all of us right?” Jess happily told the group. “Besides we were going to have a family discussion tomorrow night so this will just replace that.”

Everyone took their customary seats, Eliza picking up Clark and sitting on the love seat next to Jeremiah, the girls taking the couch, which Alex noted Kara was sitting on the far side of and Jessica in the recliner Jeremiah had reluctantly given up for these meets.

“So there have been some events that we need to adjust or perhaps make clearer for our plan to work effectively.” Jess started.

“When did you burn yourself?” was Alex’s immediate question to Kara.

“I haven’t. I have followed the rules. I have not used heat vision in the house or on myself.” she weakly defended. Jeremiah and Eliza braced themselves for this. Kara had followed the rules but Jessica needed to talk to them. The blonde had found a way around the rules.

“First of all, lets get the word rules out of your vocabulary Kara. You see these safety guidelines as hard rules to work around. The goal, one of our goals, is to help you not hurt yourself, right?”

“Yes.” Kara mumbled.

“And since we don’t keep secrets you can tell us what is going on and we can work on that. Isn’t that part of the agreement?”

Kara nodded her head and took a deep breath, looking at the floor.

“I have been breaking my fingers. I can use this hand…” she held up her right…”and snap the fingers on this hand and then put them back in place.

Alex stood up and ran, reaching the first floor bathroom just in time before she vomited. Kara closed her eyes tightly listening to the sound. Eliza groaned softly but not softly enough that Kara didn’t notice. The mother walked to where she sat and placed her arms around Kara, gently taking on of the girl’s hands and looking at it, inspecting it for any deformities.

“You poor baby.”

“I am not a baby.” Kara muttered, not meeting her eyes.

“I know, I didn’t mean it that way. Kara, are you sure you are okay? You can still move the fingers and not feel any pain? It isn’t hard to grip anything, is it?”

“No. I can’t be hurt. I mean I can’t stay hurt. They are… Alex is crying. I can hear her. I have upset her. You should go to her.”

“She just needs a moment. She is upset because she is worried.” the woman calmly explained.

“She is angry. I understand.”

Not bothering to correct her since Kara would never believe differently, they waited until Alex had returned. Alex did return, face red and wet with tears, her nose running. And as Kara predicted and Jess guessed she was mad, very mad.

“Thats it! You want to hurt yourself? I’m going to do the same thing. You break your fingers and I will smash mine with a hammer! You want to burn yourself, I will burn myself! What else Kara? What else are we going to do?”

“Alex, calm down.” Jeremiah whispered.

“No! I have been calm! I am tired of seeing you in pain, Kara! So if you won’t stop for you then stop for me! Because everything you do to yourself, you are going to be doing to me.”

“You won’t hurt yourself.” Kara told her immediately, not able to look her in the eyes. Alex bent down in front of her.

“Watch me. You think you can stop me? I can’t stop you, what makes you think you can stop me?”

“Alex, calm down. I know you aren’t really mad…” Ryan tried, hoping this wouldn’t be the reaction but not surprised.

“I will not calm down! When the hell does this stop? She can’t live like this! It has to stop and if I have to spend every second of the day with her I will. You can’t…”

Kara stood up, quickly moved around Alex and ran. She was out the door and moving towards the place she hated and the place she considered her safe spot. Her cave.

She had been there for ten minutes, sitting in the complete dark when a light shined in the entrance.

“I would knock but there really isn’t anything to knock on.” Jeremiah’s voice greeted her. He stumbled in, hitting his head on the same rock Alex had banged numerous times, but managed not to say ow. Looking into the dark opening with the flashlight he finally illuminated Kara’s small form, huddled in the corner, head buried in her arms that were wrapped around her knees.

“Hey there. Kind of dark in here. I hope you aren’t planning on moving back in. I don’t think we could get a satellite signal in here or a power outlet for the TV. How are we going to watch all those romance and action movies here?”

Kara said nothing so he moved towards her, sitting down beside the young girl and flipped off the flashlight.

“I know you aren’t okay. But sitting here isn’t going to make anything better. Why don’t we go back to the house?”

“I want to stay here tonight. Alex is mad at me.”

“Alex is very worried about you. She is in the house right now, crying because she thinks she ran you off. I knew that wouldn’t be true. You wouldn’t leave us, would you? She isn’t mad, that is just how Alex expresses herself when she is… are all worried and I know you are too, but hiding in a dark hole isn’t going to make anything better.”

“This is what space is like. Complete darkness, only without the sound. If you sit long enough, you can forget you exist.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“No.” she whispered.

“Thats good. I know there are four people in our family that will never forget you exist. That would be devastated without you. So are we staying here tonight or going home? I’m good with either but if we are staying I need to pick up a couple air mattresses and some pillows and blankets. My back can handle a lot but something tells me rock floors is pushing it.”

“You don’t have to stay. I can take care of myself.” Kara told him. He couldn’t see her well, but knew her head was still buried in her arms.

“I know you can take care of yourself. I also know that I don’t want you to be alone. I don’t want any of my children alone, ever. If you want to stay, I want to stay. So am I getting a blow up mattress and pillows or do you want to go back home? Alex is really worried about you. She wanted to come, but I asked her to stay back.”

“She is outside the cave entrance. She knows I can hear her.” Kara told him, laughing softly.

“Told you she wasn’t mad. Your call. I can send her back and the two of us can sleep here, or we can go back to the house.”

Kara thought about it. She wanted the warmth of the house but the darkness was so soothing. The girl laughed softly.

“If I don’t go back, you are going to stay here and Alex will probably stay outside all night, right?”

Jeremiah shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. My money is once you go to sleep she will sneak in and cuddle right next to us. Fifty fifty.”

“Then I guess we better go back. I don’t want her catching a cold and it is chilly outside.”

“Its your decision. The only thing you don’t get to decide is if you are going to be alone. Because you won’t be. Ever.”

The girl nodded and wrapped her arms around Jeremiah. “Why are you so good to me?”

“How could I not be? You are my daughter now. I love my kids. That means I love you. Want me to carry you back?”

“No, I can walk, but thank you.”

Walking up into the open, Alex rushed the blonde, wrapping her arms around her. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes you did. It’s okay because you are right. I would hate if you did anything to yourself. I don’t want to Alex.”

“I know you don’t. We are going to get through this together. You just have to tell me, please Kara? Just tell me at least.”

“I will, I promise.”

The trio made its way back to the house slowly, Jeremiah in the middle holding the girls hand on either side of him. Eliza was airing on the porch with Clark in her arms, smiling at the sight.

“I was wondering if I was going to have to take a bunch of blankets and pillows to the cave.” she told the group.

“Kara decided to have mercy on my back and didn’t want Alex to catch a cold. Jessica leave?”

“Yep. I think the rest of the things we need to talk about we can handle ourselves. We don’t need a therapist to talk to about everything, right? At least that is what she told me.” Eliza admitted. Kara took Clark from her and the family reentered the home. Everyone sat again, only this time Jeremiah reclaimed his recliner.

“Okay, so its just us now. First lets get the… plan modified. Kara would you agree that for a while until we can get this under control that one of us will be nearby at all times for the near future?”

“Alex is going to stand outside the bathroom again, isn’t she?” Kara guessed, frustrated.

“I don’t think that s going to do any good.” Alex told them all. “I could tell the heat difference after the showers but I am betting you are breaking your fingers in the shower, right? Its the only time you are alone long enough to do it and wait for them to heal. The noise of the shower drowns out every noise you make.”

“So I can’t take showers?” the girl asked quickly.

“Of course you can. Kara… you are going to have to be honest. Thats the only way we can beat this.” Eliza explained. “If you feel like hurting yourself you have to tell one of us at least. If you do it when we can’t see you, at least tell us then, so we can make sure you are okay. I think that maybe you are ashamed after you have done it and don’t want to admit it then. Am I close?”

Kara nodded her head in agreement.

“Kara, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If I had gone through what you went through, I don’t know if I could… I don’t know. It would destroy me. You are still fighting, still living, you are stronger than me. I need you to trust that I am strong enough to take whatever you tell me. I can handle it and we will never be disappointed in you. This has to be a family effort, right? So we all have to be here for each other. Try not to be ashamed Kara, to ever tell me orJeremiah anything.”

“I will tell you, if I want to hurt myself… like I do right now.” Kara admitted. “I want so badly to go into the bathroom, turn on the shower and snap my finger. I can forget for a moment… everything. But I won’t. I promise.”

Jeremiah let out a breath. That was the first heads up Kara had ever given them. Progress, even if it was small. He wondered if now would be a good time to bring up the next topic considering the emotional toll the night had already taken. Eliza met his eyes and he figured she was right. May as well get it all out of the way.

“I have something… we have something we would like to talk to you kids about. Kara this is your choice but I would appreciate it if you would hear me out before making a decision.”

The girl agreed, and Jeremiah began.

“I got a call from Jack Webb a couple days ago. The team had an encounter with Non and Astra. They set a trap for them. No one was killed and none of our friends were injured. Apparently Non and Astra were driven off by electricity, a lot of electricity. Not the kind you can find in a wall socket but think a couple power plants. They were repelled but escaped. According to Jack because of their little trick Non and Astra are looking for Kara in the Northwest part of Canada. I wasn’t given details…”

“I knew power lines could hurt you!” Alex cut in. “Thats why I didn’t want you grabbing that power line. Electricity can screw with your nervous system, Kara. And don’t even think about shocking yourself.”

“Alex, can you hold up a moment?” her father asked. “Kara, this got me and Eliza thinking, we know everything about human physiology, so when Alex gets sick we can…”

“You want to study me and Clark.” Kara interrupted. “It is okay. I realize if he gets sick or… I was worried when we arrived about a lot of things but the thought of him acquiring a virus was a chief concern. Normally vaccinations are required before you enter another planet and the diseases and health risks are known. Earth is an unknown. You need to know how to treat him if he gets sick. I know you will keep it a secret. Just please be careful that no one, Astra, Non, even J’onn can get the information.”

The parents looked at each other surprised. They had felt sure Kara would be against the idea.

“Are you sure, Kara?” Eliza asked. “We don’t want to make you feel…”

“I trust you. I cannot help Clark if he gets a virus or some drugs work and other don’t. I would also like to know… I don’t think human drugs will have an effect on me but I want to make sure. If I can use anti anxiety medication or something to help me sleep better I would not be opposed to it. But I have a request. I need to study myself. I need to know how strong I am, how fast, how to use my heat vision to defend myself and you. I need…”

“To learn to fight.” Alex finished. “We both do. I know you don’t want us to know how but we need to.”

“I didn’t.” Eliza admitted. “But Jeremiah and I have come to see another side of this and we agree. We will talk to Mr. Connolly and see if he is amenable…”

“He will be… he just seems like that kind of guy.” Alex hurriedly finished, while Kara fought not to roll her eyes.

“Anyway,” Eliza gave a sharp look to a now sheepish Alex, “we agree that the two of you should learn how to defend yourselves and we know we can trust both of you not to use what you learn unless it is absolutely life or death emergency, right?”

Both girls nodded their heads furiously.

“Okay then. We will work out a schedule with Connolly and Dante. Last thing on the agenda, Christmas.” Jeremiah announced.

“Like in the movies? The fat man in the red suit who sits on a throne of lies?” Kara asked, prompting a confused Jeremiah to look at Alex.

“Elf. Will Ferrel. She wouldn’t stop laughing the entire movie. We watched it twice. I wasn’t laughing during the second running.”

“Okay then.” Jeremiah continued. “I believe you girls have a Christmas concert on the 15th?”

“Kara does. I’m going to stand behind her with the rest of the hacks and hope I lip sync at the right time.”

“You are a great lip syncer Alex. Don’t ever doubt that.” Jeremiah admonished her. “So Eliza and I were thinking after the concert, maybe the next morning we head to the Pocanos and you kids can have fun, learn to ski or build snowmen or whatever. Kara have you ever seen snow? TV doesn’t count.”

“Then no, I have not seen snow personally. I thought of telling you both that I planned to go hiking one morning this winter and run to Colorado and back in a few hours. Technically that would be considered hiking but since technicalities aren’t that important here I suppose I would be grounded.”

“You suppose correctly.” Eliza confirmed.

“You were going to Colorado without me?” Alex complained.

“Just to look! I wasn’t going to stay the night or anything. I wanted to see snow. Besides you can’t just grab onto my back. The wind shear would be too much. I’m not flying, especially with Non and Astra still searching. The worst thing that could happen is a story to get out about a flying girl. So I would have to stay hidden under forest canopy from the sky. That means breaking branches and a lot of twists and turns. You would not be comfortable.”

Jeremiah and Eliza both were getting headaches thinking about these two girl’s high school years. Alex potential for raising havoc just quadrupled with Kara in her life.

“Regardless of any plans that would have the two of you grounded for the next decade, how does snow for the holidays sound?” the father asked again. “I have a friend who has a cabin he isn’t using near one of the resorts. We can decorate, tree and that stuff, bring the gifts down and be back here before New Years Eve. Any objections?”

“Since someone has thought of a lot of reasons to not take me to Colorado this seems like the next best thing.” the older sister admitted, giving Kara the look the blonde had come to know well.

The family meeting closed, Kara found herself in bed with Kal El, wrapped in her arms. Alex behind her. Thankfully Alex had not followed her into the bathroom but instead knocked every two minutes, asking Kara how much longer it would be, to check her voice for any signs of pain she may be in.

Kara accepted it. She would be better, she would fight this with everything she had.

She hoped it would be enough, even as she flexed her fingers back and forth, fighting the urge. She couldn’t, not with Alex in bed with her. So that was why Alex laid down with her, and placed Kal in bed with her?

“Go to sleep and stop flexing your fingers.” Alex mumbled from where her face was buried in the pillow. “If you are feeling anxious listen to my heartbeat or Clark’s and focus on that. If that doesn’t calm you down we will think of something else. Now listen to my heartbeat and count them.”

“Okay.” Kara whispered.

“I love you Kara.”

“I love you Alex. I won’t break… or… I feel…”

“I know Blondie. listen to my heart beat and if you get really scared fight it. If you can’t, I will take Clark to his room and be right here, okay? Now listen and count. We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, tomorrow. We are going to start training and not even have to sneak behind Mom and Dad’s back. I’m going to become a badass and you going to be the world’s first superhero. Thats pretty cool, right? Maybe we could call you Supergirl.”

Kara rolled her eyes and smiled.

“That sounds so lame. You are such a dork, Alex. Now go to sleep so I can count your heartbeats.”