Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Survivors

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 33: Solitude

“So before we connect with Jeremiah and Eliza, tell me about the first week of school.” Jessica told the girls. They had taken their posts in front of the camera that would soon connect them with their parents and both were a bit nervous. It was Sunday night, and Alex’s fears about Kara’s state of mind after Barry Allen left on a train to Central City were somewhat allayed. The blonde still seemed happy, riding on a high almost but Alex knew from much personal experience the wrong topic or tone in therapy and Kara would come crashing down hard.

Alex took a breath and decided to start. Kara never started, taking a back seat to her in these sessions at times, which is why they had stopped having as many sessions together after a while.

“I had a good week. Classes were fine, if a bit boring. I didn’t have any trouble getting around facilities looked great. The people seemed friendly enough. All in all, it was about what I expected.”

“And how do you like the city, being away from home for the first time?”

Alex shrugged her shoulders. “It wasn’t like I was lonely. I had my sunny blonde next to me, keeping me company and bringing home stray kittens that tore up our couch but whatever. It was good. I like the apartment. It’s a lot of room, more room than Kara and I are used to and the view is great.”

Jessica seemed happy with this answer. At least she had answered truthfully even if she did skirt around issues like Kara’s near panic attacks, and her self harm attempts, namely shooting herself in the shoulder as the older sister had told Jess in their one on one session last night.

“Kara? What about you?”

“I think you know how the first week went for me.” Kara told her, somewhat embarrassed.

“Okay, how did your time with the boy this weekend go? We haven’t talked about it.”

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. “It was great. I really liked him. We kissed. I had never thought that would happen for me. He even kissed me goodbye at the bus station before he left. It was amazing but it… also…”

Kara stopped and as Alex suspected, the smile that had been on her face most of the day was slowly cracking.

“It also made me realize what I could have had if I had just been human. If I had been born here. If I wasn’t so strong and my life wasn’t so complicated. I have dragged Alex into this and what if she never gets to have a real relationship because she is so focused on what we are doing, what we have to face and it isn’t fair, not to her and not to me. It just isn’t fair.” Kara finished.

None one said a word, waiting to see if the blonde would compose herself or break down. Kara shook her head and placed a fake smile back on her face.

“Sorry. It was great, I had a great time and I really liked him. He might actually call me but I don’t know if I should answer. I am not sure if I should lead him on. He is such a sweet guy and cute and has so much ahead of him. He has enough issues with his father in prison and being involved with me would only bring him down. Plus he lives so far away. He would, he would wait for me, its the kind of guy he is, but it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask. I wouldn’t.”

Jess mets Alex’s eyes for a moment and saw the resignation in them. They had both thought this was good for Kara and while she experienced much joy this weekend, with Allen gone, the loneliness was setting back in.

“So if he lived in National City, you wouldn’t see him again?” the therapist asked. Kara actually had a small smile grace her face.

“It would be hard not to but eventually it would end. One day everyone close to me could be a target. Enough people know my secret. Enough people have almost died because of me.”

Before Alex or Jess could speak Eliza and Jeremiah popped up on the screen. The computer had been hooked up to a Smart Television and video chat displayed them as if they were in the room.

“Hi girls!” Eliza greeted them.

“Hi Mom.” both girls sang out, Kara immediately slipping into her sunny personality. It still concerned Jess how easily she was able to do that.

“Dad, thank you, both of you, for everything this weekend. I had a great time.” Kara told them.

Jeremiah of course, shook it off. “I’d do the same thing for Alex but she doesn’t move as fast as you, do you eldest child?”

“No, I am much pickier I suppose. Besides one of us had to focus on school.”

“So we have a lot to talk about. What should we start with?” Jess asked, looking at Kara. Kara scowled for a second but shook it off. Of course this meeting was about her. Most of them were.

“I… uh… I saved a girl… from a Vrang. That was… new.”

“Go on. Tell us about it.” Eliza encouraged her.

“Vrangs are disgusting creatures. I don’t know who to compare them to on Earth. Perhaps Nazis. They took over Krypton almost a thousand Earth years ago. They enslaved the planet, experimented on our people, killed thousands, hundreds of thousands. Whole houses were wiped out. They tried to take everything, our lives, our resources. Krypton rose up against them but the war was bloody. After that, any Vrang on Krypton was usually killed on sight, unless law enforcers caught them first. They were the only race any citizen was allowed to kill and not be prosecuted. If they were arrested they were automatically sentenced to the Phantom Zone.”

“So this was the first time you had ever seen one outside of books? Or holocubes?” Jess asked.

“Yes. I was shocked. Astra and Non, the other Kryptonians, they kill humans so easily but let Vrangs live. If I had any doubt about how depraved Astra was, that made it clear. She not only kills humans, she allows other species to become murderers, roaming freely among the humans. Perhaps my mother got one thing right. She put her and Non where they belonged.”

No one said anything for a few seconds, letting that soak in, trying not to focus on the bitterness in her voice. Finally Jeremiah spoke up.

“How strong was he, Kara? Were you certain of his level of strength?”

“No, but he had to be put down.” she explained quickly. Kara could handle a lot, much more than she used to, but the one thing that still stung was even the idea of Jeremiah being disappointed in her.

“I am not saying he shouldn’t have been, but you could have called Dante for back up instead of clean up. The thing that concerns me the most is you allowing him to hit you. You had no idea of his strength. He could have crushed your skull, Kara.”

“He wasn’t that strong.”

“You didn’t know that, did you?”

The blonde said nothing.

“Kara? Did you know that?”

“No.” she admitted. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I am worried. You let him hit you because you wanted to feel pain and didn’t want to be blamed for it, right?”

Kara looked at the floor but nodded her head. She could lie quite a bit but when her adopted father asked something, it was difficult to not tell the truth.

Eliza took a deep breath. “Alex said something about a gun Connolly may have given her?”

Kara immediately looked at Alex, her face reddening. “You told them? I was just trying to help!”

“Calm down Kara. You took the gun and placed it on your own shoulder. You were about to pull the trigger.” Alex told her.

“I needed to see what it could do. I still don’t know what it can do. If it can protect you that is great but if Astra finds me, I have to know if it will cause enough damage that you have a chance at getting away or keeping her down until I arrive if I am not there.”

“Kara, enough. Connolly wouldn’t have given that weapon to her if he didn’t know exactly what it can do. You are rationalizing hurting yourself and I thought we were past that.” Jeremiah told her.

“We are! I am! I just… I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“You need to keep writing in your journal.” Eliza told her. “Start a new one.”

Kara took a deep breath and nodded her head. She wasn’t going to win this fight so there was no point in arguing.

“Okay, so we have a plan in place, no more rationalizing, you keep a journal that Alex can look at. And if you hurt yourself again… you did good last week. You called me instead of hurting yourself. That was a huge step forward. You did so good Kara.” Jessica told her. She had learned that though Kara outwardly brushed it off, she thrived on positive reenforcement.

“If you hurt yourself again I think you need to come home for a couple months, honey. You can start back next semester when we are all there.” Jeremiah told her, causing Eliza to look at him in disbelief.

“We haven’t spoke to her about that!”

“About what?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, I would like to know as well, since my roomie is affected. I’m not taking care of this cat by myself. Changing the litter box is disgusting.”

Eliza looked at Jeremiah. They had only made a final decision two days ago and were going to discuss the best way to approach Kara with this. They had hoped to talk over Thanksgiving so they could all be together. This was on him to talk it through now.

“I uh… we had an offer. I know the two of you don’t want us to sell the house but we have had job offers. We are going to keep the house here and we can all stay here during the holidays or whenever. But we are buying a house in National City. We have been looking at houses there over the last few days. There is a beach house, not far from Jessica’s we are considering. There is a small private school nearby that Clark could attend, small classes…”

“I’m sorry, when did we become rich and what offer?” Alex interrupted.

“The DEO, J’onn wants us to work with him. They have agreed to pay off the mortgage on this house, buy us the one on the beach and pay for Clark’s education.” Jeremiah told them, then closed his eyes, waiting for Kara to blow up. He didn’t wait long.

“Are you out of your mind? How can you trust them? You can’t do that to me! They want your information on Clark! How can you consider working for them?!”

“Can I explain?” Jeremiah tried.

Kara said nothing and didn’t need to. Even over a wi fi connection from Midvale, the parents could tell that her fists were clenched, her face was burning red and her muscles were coiled. Kara was standing and minutes if not seconds away from an epic tantrum. The problem was, in Midvale there was quite a bit of space for her to blow off steam. In National City, surrounded by a million people, Kara had only one outlet, one thing to break and that was herself.

“Kara sit down.” Alex told her, standing up with her hands on the blonde’s stiff shoulders. She began to whisper in her ear.

“Three, two, one, one two three, count with me. Lets start at one thousand, only prime numbers and we go back.”

Kara shook her head. “No, I am fine. Dad, you know J’onn will read your mind.”

“He gave us his word he would not. Kara as much as I have been cautious in the past of him, you have to admit, beside wearing the face of a dead man we all hated, he has never done anything to cause us not to trust him. He had to take that man’s place.”

“He refused to train me.”

“You were thirteen. I didn’t want you trained.” Jeremiah countered.

“He… he… why now? Alex and I are in National City and now he wants you?”

“Because he didn’t want you in National City any sooner than you had to be. He had a point. You have been there a week and run into an alien. He has no idea where most of the escapees are. Since Fort Rozz was nuked, they could be anywhere. But since you…”

“He wants you because he wants me to work under him. He would do anything to have me under his control. If he can’t stop me he wants to tell me what to do.”

“He doesn’t… Kara, I get it. I knew you wouldn’t be happy but this is our chance. This is a way we can help you. You have no idea what aliens are in Fort Rozz, how many and what species. There could be species you have never heard of and you have no idea what powers they may have here on Earth. We can find out, devise ways for them to be defeated or at least neutralized. This is our way to help you.”

“You are helping me by keeping Clark safe and out of harm’s way.”

“He will be. He is even going to go to school under the name in his fake background. Everyone will know him as Clark Kent in school. There will be no electronic way to trace him to you.”

“And you don’t think that is going to confuse him?”

“No more than he is going to be confused if we don’t explain some things to him. He will get powers eventually. We are going to need you near, Kara. He needs to be near you. A girl at school asked him what adopted meant. She told him he was adopted. He has questions and we are going to have to figure out how to answer them.”

Kara relaxed her hands and then squeezed again. Alex was whispering in her ear, prime numbers backwards from one thousand.

“Alex, please stop!” she hissed. “You are going to work in a hole in the ground, surrounded by the most dangerous creatures on Earth.”

“No we aren’t. There is a DEO facility disguised as a Federal Building downtown. It only houses minimum risk alien escapees. It is also where the majority of research happens. Most of the main operations are there. Kara there is more to this than just helping you. We can make a difference. J’onn has places set up all over the world for peaceful visitors. But sometimes, certain things on Earth can make them sick. Your mother and I can help develop treatments and cures. No one else can without risking the rest of the government finding out.”

Neither girl said anything, Jess keeping a very close watch on Kara, for any signs that she may come undone and wondering what the hell she could do to stop it. Her conclusions were not encouraging.

“If I move back home will you stay away from the DEO? You two being safe is more important than me finding these escapees.”

Eliza and Jeremiah were speechless for a moment. Kara had never, ever, made an offer like this. It was too good to be true. They don’t go to work for the DEO and Kara and by extension Alex, come home to go to college? Kara forgets her self imposed mission in life that may end with her death.

“That isn’t true, is it Kara?” Eliza asked. “You would still find a way, right?”

Kara’s silence told her the truth of the matter. For a moment, both parents would have jumped on the opportunity but Kara would have rationalized her involvement like she rationalized many things.

“We aren’t saying you have to live with us, sweetie. We just want to be close.” Eliza continued. “This isn’t a typical parents not wanting the children to leave the nest. You know this is a different situation. You need us nearby, Clark needs you nearby and we have to feel like we are helping you in some way. If we can do this, then it would be the solution to a lot of problems. Yes Clark won’t grow up where you did but he is young and a fresh start where he isn’t asked so many questions could be good for him. We can all talk to him at Christmas here, decide what he needs to know and then start fresh nearby.”

“You think I can’t take care of myself.” Kara told them.

“We know you can… I mean… of course you can but it would be easier if we were there. You don’t have to do this alone, Kara.” her father told her.

“And when one of you… when something happens? How am I supposed to live with that guilt? I came here to bring the fight as far away from you as I could and now you are going to follow me into it?”

“You are there to go to college.” her mother reminded her.

“I hate college! It’s a waste of time for me. What do you think I am going to do with a degree? Sit around an office and draw? If you want the truth I want to be a fireman and there is no degree that will help me do that.”

“A fire… Kara, why would you put yourself in a position to be surrounded by so many of your triggers?” Jess asked, for the first time joining the conversation.

“Because I have beaten my triggers. I can save the most lives as a fire fighter. I have already.”

“Yes and you had a panic attack right afterward. You did great but you cannot just have an attack after the adrenaline wears off when it is your job.” Ryan argued.

“I can beat it. I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time.”

“You also haven’t been surrounded by fire and burning bodies in a long time.” she countered.

“You are going to school.” Jeremiah told her. “Find another degree plan if you like but you are getting a degree in something. I don’t care if it philosophy or pottery but something.”

“I can work as a motorcycle mechanic. It doesn’t matter what I do because once this starts…”

“Kara, listen to me.” her father told her in a voice that usually shut Kara down. It was soft but firm, his version of expressing displeasure and she always felt chastised when he used it. “You are going to college. You are going to get a degree and that is it. We are going to work for the DEO. If I suspect they are using us for anything other than what they have stated we will leave. But this is happening. I need to keep any eye on them if nothing else. I want to know how much of this Kryptonite there is and develop something to make you immune to it. It is important that I am there. Not only can I help you, I can watch your back. We both can.”

Kara said nothing, just stood, staring at the screen. Jess and Alex watched her and then the screen and back to her. This was not the first time Kara and Jeremiah had a near silent battle of wills and Kara always lost.

“I guess you are going to do whatever, no matter what I say, so there isn’t anything more to talk about.” Kara conceded, dropping back onto the couch.

“Kara please don’t…” Eliza tried, inside furious at how Jeremiah had handled that.

“Its fine. Enjoy the new job. I’ll start writing a journal again. I’ll think of something to tell Clark. I’ll do whatever you want. Tell Henshaw I said hello.”

Kara stood up and walked out of the room, slamming the bedroom door. Alex dropped her head.

“That went well. You guys couldn’t have given me a heads up?”

“Sorry.” Jeremiah mumbled. His eyes were stinging and he realized that for the first time, he wouldn’t be able to give Kara time to cool off before going into her room and hugging her.

“Okay, lets continue.” Dr. Ryan told them. “I have no doubt Kara can hear us so we may as well continue. Eliza, how have you been adjusting, with the girls on the other side of the country?”

“It has been difficult. Especially during moments like right now. At least I have my husband to beat tonight.”

“I was just trying to make her understand…”

“Shut up, Jeremiah. You have said enough tonight!”

“Eliza,” Jess interrupted, “he has a right to express his thoughts.”

“He handled this horribly! He should have waited until we were all together.”

“I just want them home! She can’t take care of herself! You want the truth, thats the truth! She can’t take care of herself! She needs us! You know what is inside her, what she has to live with. You know how much fear and guilt and anger is inside her! If I have to keep her with me until she is old enough to retire I will! I told her I would protect her and I will! Somehow she has it in her head that she is going on a suicide mission to kill her aunt and uncle and we have never really tried to talk her out of it! What do you want from me, Eliza?”

“I want you to both to stop yelling.” Alex told them. “This isn’t helping things and Clark is probably freaking out right now wherever he is. I pray he is upstairs.”

Eliza and Jeremiah looked at each other then sheepishly at the screen, mumbling apologies.

“Why don’t we take a breather? Maybe Alex can talk Kara into joining us. Of course considering what she just heard, that may not happen tonight…”

“Quiet.” Alex told her. The shower had turned on. Alex listened carefully and then felt it. Even Jessica felt the gradual climb in temperature in the room.

“Whats wrong?” Eliza asked.

“I’ll handle it. This meeting is over tonight. Next time you tell me first!” Alex hissed and ran into the bedroom. She tried to enter the attached bathroom and of course the door was locked.

“Kara, open the door.” she told her, knowing Kara could hear over the shower, probably for hundred of miles over a thunderstorm if she wanted to.

“Last chance.” Alex warned. Not hearing any movement, she stepped back and kicked the door in. Seeing her little sister on the floor made her want to vomit from the smell. She was holding her arm, her blackened forearm and hand. The skin on the underside was red but where the beams had hit was covered in several third degree burns. The smell of burnt flesh, especially Kara’s always made Alex sick. Unfortunately this wasn’t the first time Kara had done this to herself. She dropped to the ground and Kara curled into her. There was nothing they could really do. The burns would improve in five to ten minutes and in fifteen they would be gone as if it never happened. Alex pulled Kara up and the two walked towards her bed, where they sat. Jessica was in the doorway watching. Right now she had greatly wished that she had been given a heads up as well and wanted to scream at Eliza and Jeremiah.

Kneeling in front of the two girls, she placed a hand on Kara’s cheek, forcing her to look at her.

“Its going to be alright. I know you hate it when your father sounds disappointed but he is worried, he is worried about things like this. He wants to protect you Kara.”

“He is mad at me.”

“No, he isn’t.” Jessica told her. Over the years, one of Kara’s big triggers, was if she perceived that Jeremiah was upset with her. It could be a careless word or action but if the blonde interpreted it as disappointment she came unglued quickly, retreating into herself.

“He said I can’t take care of myself and he is right. Now Alex has to. I should leave. I should go on my own and end this.”

“Kara.” Alex warned. “That is not happening. Stop threatening to leave every time thing get tough.”

“My arm really hurts,” she said quietly. “Why am I so weak? The only time I feel strong is when I am destroying something. I need something to destroy. The rest of the time I feel like a child and I shouldn’t. Clark is going to find out. He is going to find out and I don’t know what to tell him, how to explain any of this. I can’t just tell him the truth. He shouldn’t have to live with that.”

“We will handle it together. Just like we always do. Clark will be fine, you are going to be fine.”

“I’ll never be fine.”

Alex shook her head and the heard Kara’s phone buzz on the counter. Jessica handed it to her and she saw Barry Allen’s text that he had gotten home safely and couldn’t wait to see her again. Alex showed the text to Kara.

“Tell him I am glad and had a great time. Tell him to never contact me again.” the blonde told her sister. Alex shook her head and sent a return text.

/I had a great time. Can’t wait to see you again. Miss you already/

“Did you send it?”

“Yeah, I sent it. The black is starting to go away. It shouldn’t be long now. Take a cold shower when it is gone. You know that makes it feel better.”

“Jess, am I ever going to be normal? Don’t answer that. I know I won’t.”

“Kara, there is no normal.” the therapist told her. “What do you think is normal? We all have different hurts, different pains. A lot of people have trauma, not on your scale but trauma all the same. There are children that go through such horrible things that it sticks with them for life. There are those who are overly sensitive, those with no feelings at all. No one is normal. There is no normal. We make the best of what is given. You are getting better. Tonight you had a moment of weakness but it was just a temporary set back. Jeremiah loves you. You could never disappoint him. But whenever you think he is upset you break down. We have talked about different ways to deal with your hurt and anxiety. What caused you to do this tonight?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe if he was worried about me he wouldn’t be mad at me?” she admitted.

“Sometimes I wish I could hit you hard no matter how much I love you.” Alex mumbled.

“I know. If I wasn’t so hard I would let you.”

Alex wrapped her head in her arms and held her until the pain and redness was gone. Jessica went into the living room and came back with her bag and a book. She tossed the book on the bed besides Kara.

“New journal. Start tonight and I will see you tomorrow. Call Jeremiah. He has been blowing up our phones. Eliza is trying to reestablish a connection on video chat. Let them know you are okay.”

“Am I?”

“You will be. Night girls.”

Alex woke the next morning in Kara’s bed, the blonde snoring in her ear. Luckily her little sister woke up in a much better mood than she expected. After Kara had passed out the night before Alex had called a very distraught set of parents and told them under no circumstances would they be flying cross country to check on Kara because she had gotten upset. The girl did tell them about Kara’s incident, not the severity but of it happening, causing Jeremiah to break down, convinced he had caused it. Alex suspected her mother had taken him outside and yelled at him quite a bit before the call and probably after the call.

“Dad asked if you would call him after class. He just wants to talk. You know he isn’t upset with you, right?”

“Yeah.” Kara mumbled, picking up a sleeping Streaky from her pillow. The cat had decided Kara’s hair made a good nest at night.

The day went well as far as Alex knew. Kara answered her texts and claimed to have no problems. They met afterward and walked home together, ordered pizza and lay on the couch watching TV. Alex sat, Kara laid across her, as was her habit. They looked at old photos and promised each other they would hit the water park in National City soon and the beach. Neither talked about Mom and Dad joining the DEO. At 10 PM, Kara told Alex she was going for a ride. Alex insisted on coming, so grabbing her helmet and ray gun, or Blaster as Kara insisted it be called, the two drove into the night. Kara for once did not wear a helmet, leaving her glasses on. Every few miles she would stop and listen. Finally the two pulled up to a very large Federal Building with a couple serious looking security guards in the lobby. On the seventh floor was a balcony, unusual for a Government building but Kara had noticed many buildings in National City came equipped with private balconies.

“This is the DEO.” Alex guessed.

“Either that or the FBI has changed their dress code and all agents have to dress like they belong on SWAT teams now. I can hear Connolly and Ty sparring. Jack has an earpiece in and is talking to Vivian but she isn’t there, just communicating with him. He is also talking to someone named Vasquez. Hawk is lifting weights. I don’t hear Dante. Wait… he is at his apartment. I finally am able to tune him in.”

“Okay, so we know where they are. You want to find the prison in the desert tomorrow night?” Alex asked.

“No… the walls here are lined with lead.” Kara realized.

“Makes sense. They wouldn’t want Kryptonians seeing inside.”

“If they are that concerned about Kryptonians they should hide somewhere better. I can’t believe Mom and Dad want to work here. Its a giant target Alex. I hear quite a few alien prisoners inside as well. I know the dangerous ones are supposed to be in the desert but there are a lot here. If I can here them Non can.”

“Are they experimenting on them?” Alex asked, afraid of the answer. Kara listened hard for a few minutes.

“Not right now. None of them sound in pain, just angry at being locked up, I would imagine. Okay, we know where it is. Lets go home.

It was the next night, at midnight while Alex slept, that J’onn Jonzz walked into his apartment after a very long day. J’onn did not worry about an alarm system. He could hear the thoughts of anyone approaching and was hardly at his apartment regardless. Inside was the blonde whose thoughts he couldn’t hear.

The Martian flipped on the lights and in his living room was the statuesque blonde, looking quite a bit different than her appearance when she first landed. Kara was wearing a black wetsuit, probably the one she scuba dived in. Her hair was blonder than when she first arrived and the shyness, the meekness was gone. Her body was tall and lean, yet imposing. Her face was hard and though her blue eyes weren’t glowing they may as well have been.

“Nice outfit. Black is favorited by your fellow Kryptonians as well.”

“I needed something to help me blend in while I scaled the walls. Besides, it is appropriate. Black was the color of our army. The only clothing women were allowed to wear that weren’t dresses. I used to be awed at how my Aunt looked in her uniform. She was so strong and powerful and I wanted to be just like her one day. Maybe I am, even though ironically we are on different sides of a war I haven’t started yet. We need to talk.”

“About what? I am not changing forms. If you want to kill me, if it will make you feel better, pretending I’m Henshaw and finishing what Connolly wouldn’t let you finish when you were 13, do it. If you really think this will help, kill me. I just want you better, Kara.”

Kara moved quickly, almost too quickly for J’onn to see. She grabbed his throat and pushed him against the door.

“My parents? You are bringing them into this? What is your problem? Explain this to me, Martian.”

“I can’t talk if you keep squeezing my throat.” he whispered, then grabbed Kara’s wrist and twisted, sending the girl to the floor. Kara immediately tried a leg sweep only for J’onn to jump over her and into the apartment. He turned, eyes glowing, while she stood up.

“I cant fight you, forever. I am not as strong as you, not as fast and we both know the second you catch me with your heat vision I am done. It won’t take me long to go up in flames. But I want you to have the maximum benefit from killing me. I won’t make it easy. Do you want your questions answered or does this become a death match? I am getting very tired of your temper, Kara.”

Kara slowed her breathing deliberately and pushed down the anger threatening to take over.

“My parents? My family is all I have and you are trying to take them from me? What gives you the right?”

“Because they are the best. There are only a few scientists in this world who are equipped to study and offer solutions to alien threats and illnesses for that matter. Since I am not about to trust any Luthors, that leaves your parents. Our science division is poorly staffed and they are very motivated. They want to take these people down so you and Alex don’t have to.”

“So this has nothing to do with you wanting to control me? I am supposed to believe that?”

J’onn sat in his recliner and kicked his feet up, relaxed now that she was talking instead of attacking.

“Believe it or not my whole damn world doesn’t revolve around you. I never wanted you in this fight. I still don’t. I can’t control you. No one can so why do you worry about it? But I do have a job. That job is to take out alien threats. To do that I need the best. They are the best. I don’t want you in the DEO. I am not saying in the future we can’t work together but you will never be an employee because if something happened to me, Lane or someone like him could take over and you would be under their orders. You have to remain an outsider, an independent. No one should control you Kara. I don’t want to. I just pray you never become a threat.”

“And what if I do J’onn? What are you going to do? Send your men to hunt me? Maybe fill me full of Kryptonite bullets? You think I would care? Just tell them to make sure they don’t miss, because they won’t get a second shot.”

J’onn shook his head. “Connolly would never go after you. I wouldn’t either. You are never going to get it are you? I love you and your cousin. No matter how you feel about me, I love you. So if killing me will make you feel better, do it Kara. But for your own sake, get a hold of this anger because right now, you aren’t prepared to take on one Kryptonian much less dozens. You are a better fighter than any of them and I have a feeling when you do see Astra you are going to hesitate and it could cost you. When you see Non, all those childhood fears are going to come back and you are going to lose it. If you lose it while fighting a disciplined soldier that is it. Non wins. You die, the world suffers and everyone you love is in jeopardy. I am not stupid enough to think you are going to stay out of this. I understand. If I were in your position I think I would do the same. I also realize that if we cannot end this, if we cannot draw them out of hiding, you are the best option. You are the one who can lead us to victory. I never wanted this for you.”

“Why? Why not? You just admitted, I am your strongest weapon.”

“And my weakest one. Kara, when you and your cousin first landed, I drove my men to find you. It was important to me for so many reasons. Would you have a seat? I think it is time we had a talk without the two of us yelling at each other. Like or not, our lives are intertwined and we have a common goal.”

Kara sat on the couch across from J’onn. “I’m listening.”

J’onn talked and kept talking. He told her about Mars, about his people, about White Martians, how he came to be on Earth. He told her about his shame, watching his wife and daughters die and living himself. Kara found her anger subsiding until it was gone, listening to his story.

“So that is why you wanted to find me and my cousin so badly. You felt like you could atone for what you perceived as failures?”

The Martian smiled at her but there was no humor behind it.

“I will never atone. I did however think that perhaps once in my existence I could save a child instead of standing by helpless, watching the child die. I knew there were two children alone, one a baby and this time I wasn’t helpless. This time I could do something. I planned to leave it all behind. The Navy, my work trying to hide other aliens, all because I saw a possible daughter and son I could try not to fail this time. But it wasn’t to be. Fate brought you and the Danvers together. The way I feel never changed though Kara. I will always try to protect you. I didn’t want you in this battle. You were gentle and pure of heart. So hurt but so strong. You still are, you just forget sometimes how strong you are. Your heart is strong Kara, strong enough that you can still love, despite everything. The love you have for your family is amazing. A weaker person would not be capable.”

Kara dropped her head, breaking eye contact with the man for the first time since he started talking.

“I am not strong J’onn. Should I have been left alone I would have become a feral beast. We both know this. I am not much better than that now.”

“You have no idea how much better you are.”

“I used my X ray vision.” Kara admitted. J’onn knew what she was talking about. He didn’t ask, so she continued.

“I used my X ray vision to see his spine. He was trying to get away from me. He was beaten, utterly defeated and I knew exactly what I was doing. The whole world felt like it was in slow motion except for me. I looked and saw the strongest part of his spine, I knew where I could do the most damage and while he tried to get away from me I struck. I turned his spine to dust. He was already bleeding internally. I killed him, didn’t I?”

J’onn said nothing, debating on how to answer this. His hesitation was all Kara needed to know.

“Don’t lie. I know I did. I knew it right after I did it. I am no different than Astra and Non. I was able to finally let loose on an enemy and I enjoyed it.”

“You are very different tun Astra and Non. That wasn’t an innocent you hurt Kara, it was a beast, a wild beast that needed to be put down. I wish it hadn’t been you but it was. You did what you did and you took it too far but understand this. If you continue down this path, that creature won’t be the last time you take a life. Are you prepared for that? Are you prepared to kill your aunt if it comes down to it?”

Kara was going to answer yes but hesitated.

“I don’t know, J’onn.” she admitted. The girl started softly crying and J’onn walked over, sitting by her on the couch.

“Just for once, can I?”

Kara nodded her head and the Martian changed forms, his natural form emerging and wrapped the blonde in his arms.

“It is going to be okay, Kara. I don’t know how but I swear to you, it will be okay. We will do what you can’t if it has to happen.”

“I am sorry. I know I haven’t been fair to you. I am just so scared. J’onn, if something happens to any of them that is it for me. You understand this, right?”

“And if something happens to you, they would be just as devastated. Kara they need to feel they are doing their part. The same as you feel this is your mission, they feel it too.”

“I should have never gotten involved in their life.”

“Yes you should have. They are your family and without them, you never would have been found. Clark could have gotten sick, died. I believe in fate and fates are not always kind but you becoming a part of that family was kind. That is what family is Kara. You go to war for each other. If you have an enemy, they have an enemy. That is what it is to love. Never regret that. I will keep them safe and out of harm’s way, I swear to you. I just want me and you to not be at odds. We may very well need each other one day and I need you to understand I am not your enemy.”

“I know J’onn. I am sorry for breaking into your home and attacking you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Thats just the way you say hello to everybody. I take it as a compliment.”

Kara snorted and then laughed. She almost reached for her glasses before remembering she hadn’t worn them tonight.

“Clark is going to be asking questions soon. He already has but he won’t be put off much longer. Especially when he is going to a new school being called a new name. What am I supposed to tell him?”

J’onn took a deep breath, having thought of this before and not coming up with many good answers.

“It depends on whether you hate Jor El more than you love him. I know you don’t. All I can think is to tell him what he needs to hear Kara. When he is older you can tell him the whole truth if you think it necessary but for right now, he has just turned 6. Just tell him what he needs to hear. Tell him what a hero his parents were, both your parents. Thats my suggestion but the decision is yours.”

Kara nodded and sat in J’onn’s arms for the next hour, neither alien saying a word, lost in their own thoughts, worries and hopes for a future that could be. Finally Kara stood and J’onn walked her to the door without a word. He watched out his window as her motorcycle roared to life and sped off towards her apartment. He also noticed the circular hole in his window next to the latch where Kara had cut the glass with her fingernail. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Clever girl.”

The Martian went to bed but as always hardly any sleep came to him. Not only was he haunted by the past but a future involving a dead blonde Kryptonian, Non standing over her.

That Friday, Alex was not happy but Kara insisted.

“I don’t like this, Kara. You know we should stay away from Luthors.”

“Lena is different and you know it, Alex. She needs friends, we need friends…”

“We can find friends who aren’t related to Lex and Lionel Luthor.”

“She needs real friends who aren’t out to use her. Besides she may introduce us to more celebrities. Its not like Lex is going to be there.”

“I don’t want to know more celebrities. I want you safe and that family is a danger to you.”

Kara laughed while Alex found no humor in the situation.

“Of all the aliens on this planet that want to see me dead, you think that family can touch me? C’mon Alex, lighten up. You always want me to go out more. This is us going out. We wouldn’t be able to get into this club without Lena. Are you wearing your red dress? If not I want to borrow the heels you wear with it.”

Alex let her borrow the damn shoes, feeling very bad about this. She had no reason not to trust Lena Luthor but she also had no reason to trust her. All in all it was a bad situation but Kara had texted Barry Allen a couple times this week and if Lena could help further break her out of her shell then it was worth the risk she supposed. At least that is what she would keep telling herself.

The two met the socialite who Alex admitted was quite brilliant in her own right, at the club, one that her and Kara never would have gotten into regardless. Lena was waiting with her bodyguards in a limo and stepped out as soon as the two girls arrived. She greeted Alex pleasantly but once again focused completely on Kara afterward. The Luthor children had an obsession with her blonde sister.

The club was loud and very crowded but they were escorted to a private room in the back. Alex was offered a drink but declined. Not only was alcohol not conducive to her training, she also had a very long flight tomorrow. She had only flown with Kara a few times, never very high and never far. Tomorrow while the sun was still set, the two would take off to Antarctica to begin scouting for places to build the Fortress Kara was certain would be necessary.

Alex begged off and headed to the dance floor, Kara following so of course Lena went as well.

It was during the third song that Alex had been caught staring at the short haired blonde beauty by the bar. To her relief and excitement, the girl smiled back and approached her.

“Hi?”

“All you had to do was say your name, but staring is just as obvious. I’m Teel.”

“Teel? Really?”

“Yes, why?”

“Ive never met anyone named Teel before.”

“Now you have. Want a drink?”

“No she doesn’t.” Kara told the woman, appearing out of nowhere. “I will be glad to get you both drinks but she won’t take anything you have to offer.”

Alex was mortified for a moment, wondering what had gotten into Kara. Her sister seemed upset, no, she was angry. Kara had seen Alex flirt with girls before. It had never been a problem.

“Are you her mother?”

“No, I’m the one who is wondering why there are quite a few pills in your pocket. Something tells me they aren’t Tylenol. I’m betting they dissolve in liquid as well. Am I right?”

“I’ll have my guard alert security.” Lena told her, walking up behind Kara. The woman called Teel moved quickly, nearly running out of the building. Alex calmed herself, wondering how close a call that had been.

“Remember what Dad said. Never take a drink from someone we don’t know, not even a Coke, right?”

“Thank God you saw that.” Alex whispered, knowing that Kara would hear her.

“I’ll always look out for you. Always. Come dance with us.”

Alex allowed herself to be pulled out to the dance floor but couldn’t get the incident out of her mind. How stupid had she been?

“Forget it. Nothing was going to happen. You will always be safe when I am with you.” Kara told her, picking up on Alex’s mood. “We protect each other, right?”

“Yeah. You ready to call it a night? We have to be up in a few hours.”

Kara agreed and moved to say goodbye to Lena.

“Thanks for having us. It was fun.” she told the brunette.

“I had a blast. I am sorry about what happened with your sister. It was amazing you saw that. How did you know?”

“I saw her reach into her pocket earlier. When she pulled her hand out I could see the tops of the pill packages.”

“Amazing. You are certainly observant. No small town innocence in you. Here I was, hoping I could open your eyes to the wonders and dangers of the big city.”

“I lost my innocence a long time ago.” Kara told her. “Every one except my family is someone I can’t trust.”

“Lunch this week. Let me show you that I can be trusted. I will ditch my bodyguard, just the two of us, like Metropolis.”

“And Alex.” Kara added.

Lena took a look at the still shaken girl standing by herself. “I have a feeling your sister doesn’t like me very much. Just one lunch?”

Kara nodded. “I’ll text you Monday. I need to get her home. I need her safe. I will talk to you later. Thanks for a great time.”

The next morning, the two sisters woke up at 4 AM, only five hours from the time they left the club. Alex could hardly sleep so Kara lay with her while thinking of ways to track down the blonde who liked to drug young girls. At 5 AM, Kara could not help but smile.

“You look freaking adorable.” she told her sister, who actually resembled a stuffed bear. Her thick jacket and very thick pants and boots covered her thermal body suit Connolly had given her. A very thick parka covered that with a hood and face mask, including goggles. The gloves were electric keeping her hands warm.

“Can we please leave? I am about to get heat stroke in this thing. Where is your cape?”

“I can’t carry the backpack with the tent and heater and wear a cape Alex.”

“You can’t fly worth a damn without it!”

“I can too. So I don’t make tight turns without it. It won’t be a problem because I am flying in a straight line. As long as the GPS stays on, we should be good. I hope I can get my arms around you with all this thickness. You just told Mom and Dad we were going camping, right?”

“Yes, I neglected to tell them we were going to camp in Antarctica. Knowing how much I hate camping they are probably suspicious. Dad is still upset thinking you are upset. You two have some serious dependency issues.”

“Nothing that pertains to this moment. This is going to be a great adventure. You are a scientist and this place is one of the greatest untouched research opportunities in history. You should be excited. Hang on to me and keep your legs hooked to mine. I want you facing me. My arms will be under you and your arms stay around my neck. We are going to be moving fast. I’m going just over the cloud bank so we won’t be seen. If you have trouble breathing, yell at me and we can take a break, drop lower.”

“Kara, you have never flown this far or that high.” Alex reminded her… again.

“Which is why I am so excited that you get to share this with me. In all seriousness Alex if you want to stay, I understand. It is not going to be a great place to hang out.”

“I’m fine and you aren’t going without me. I would suggest wearing white when we get there. Your black wetsuit tends to stand out.”

“I know but it won’t freeze. Okay Wendy, think happy thoughts.”

The two were a hundred miles over the ocean by the time the sun came up. Kara used her vision to look for planes and boats and steered well away from them. Alex did her best to hold on tight and not vomit. The experience was like nothing she had ever felt before. Two hundred miles from the continental shelf, she asked Kara to stop. The two stood in the air and Alex flipped over. Seeing what was below was an awe inspiring experience. Kara dipped low and the two skimmed the waves, then went higher so Alex could see the clouds, storms developing far away, a pod of whales Kara picked up with her vision. They took a moment to fly above the massive creatures, causing them both to laugh, neither having felt this much joy in a while.

Finally they were over the main body of Antarctica and Alex was very glad she had dressed as the equivalent of a polar bear. The chill in the Southern Hemisphere was horrible. The wind must have been biting because she noticed Kara, while determined was accumulating ice in her hair. Her eyes were also glowing, most likely to keep her tear ducts from freezing.

The two sisters flew around the continent for an hour or so until Kara saw what she was looking for. They landed on solid frozen ground and Alex could feel the cold even through her heavily layered boots.

“Valkyrie Dome. At least twenty miles from the Dome anyway. What do you think?”

Alex took the GPS Connolly had given her and was impressed. The thing did work though she suspected the cold would wear down the batteries quicker.

“It is where we talked about. The ice needs to be at least two miles thick.”

“It is, or should be. Hard to tell even with my vision. I don’t like it being out in the open.”

“Are there flight paths through here?”

“No,” Kara admitted, “but you never know when a research chopper might fly by.”

“True. What about that cliff over there? Is it a glacier or a landmass?”

Kara checked it out, searching with her vision up and down for a few minutes.

“Solid, rock and Ice. Should be easy enough to carve inside. Deep enough that the crystals will have room to spread and assimilate into the surrounding area. It wouldn’t be seen from above and if we camouflage it right, a person couldn’t see it from the ground. It is part of the dome but not the front part. Not much research has gone on with the Dome but it is a point of reference for lost flights. In a storm no one could get to it anyway. I like it. Lets go camp on the other side of the dome and we can see how hard it will be to carve.”

Kara slung the backpack, over her shoulders once again and picked up Alex, the both of them flying towards the Dome and beyond. Once there, Kara shook the ice out of her hair and slipped on a white jacket and jogging pants over her wetsuit, while Alex set up the tent. As soon as the small low tent was set up, Kara looked carefully and told her findings to Alex, who calculated the right spot to hit. Once it was decided, Kara swung, knocking a doorway into the frozen mountain.

“There is an open spot inside. I won’t have to carve very much.” Kara noted.

“Its not open, it is filled with million year old ice.” her older sister pointed out. “You are still going to have to hit…” Alex stopped for a moment, seeing the smile on her sister’s face and her glowing eyes.

“You are about to jump start global warming, aren’t you?”

Kara nodded and unleashed her heat vision, melting the ice and turning the water to steam. She stopped every few moments, describing what she was seeing. After five hours, Kara had made good headway into the side of the mountain and it appeared stable, a natural air pocket formation carved by a glacier thousands if not millions of years ago. Deciding they had enough done today, more than expected, the girls retired to the tent. That night the wind howled and temperatures dropped even greater but it did not bother Alex in the least. Kara sat up all night while Alex rested her head on the pillow in her lap. Her eyes glowed the entire night, heating the tent much more effectively than the space heater would. She was pleased. The blonde had hoped to find a site today for the fortress she planned to build. She had not only found the perfect spot but with Alex being her engineer, had made headway into carving out the area. This may not take as long as she had suspected.

It was hours later that Kara saw a vision that stunned her, nearly took her breath away.

“Alex!” she whispered, the girl waking immediately, very warm in her thermal suit. She had thought she would freeze without her jacket but the pallet and no doubt Kara’s eyes had kept her cozy. She wondered if her little sister got any sleep and doubted it.

“Hey, good morning. You didn’t sleep, did you?” she asked, realizing her head was still in Kara’s lap where she had lain down for a moment the night before.

“Forget about that. Get your outer layers and boots on. Hurry!”

The brunette became nervous.

“Are we in danger?”

Kara annoyed and not wanting to waste time, moved quickly and with only a few jerks Alex was dressed.

“Seriously, I hate it when you do that. Now what?”

Kara unzipped the tent and dragged her outside. What Alex saw took her breath away. The sun was rising over the ice and the colors being displayed were amazing.

“There are periods here where the sun does not rise or sometimes doesn’t set for a few weeks but can you imagine living without this? Have you ever seen a more beautiful sunrise?” Kara asked, voice filled with awe as she took in the sun rays, skating across the ice.

Alex grabbed her hand.

“No, I don’t think I ever have little sis. You think my life would be better without you but you are so wrong. I flew across the Pacific yesterday, was feet away from whales in the middle of the ocean and now I am seeing a sunrise at the bottom of the world. I can’t imagine life without you Kara. Only you could pull this off.”

“Only we can pull this off, Alex. I can’t believe it is so beautiful. One day I have to figure out how to get Mom and Dad here.”

“Yeah, they would love it but this one, this one is all ours. So we have our spot, construction has started and I think before the semester is over we can have this done. What are we going to call it?”

“Call it?”

“Yeah, every Fortress has a name.”

Kara looked at the sky, now turning red, reminding her of Rao. She listened for miles and heard nothing. They were completely alone.

“Its ours and only ours. I think we should call it… Solitude.”

“Fort Solitude doesn’t sound great. How about Fortress of Solitude?” The older sister suggested.

Kara nodded her head. It sounded perfect.

“I like it. The Fortress of Solitude.”