Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

The Life Equation

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 34:

The sun had just set, not that it would have mattered considering the speeds Kara and Kal El were traveling as they flew towards Smallville. The Super Cousins landed in front of the barn at the Kent Farm and waited for the Scout Ship to land. Kara’s Red Shard unit would unload the equipment she needed and then move the ship a safe distance away. She doubted they, or anyone really, would be in danger from this experiment, but Kara felt it was a good excuse to give her a bit of space. She would begin building Myriad as soon as the parts and metals were unloaded, feeling they had no time to waste.

She also needed her telepath who was flying with Alex in her fighter, remote controlled by Kelex from the bridge of the Scout Ship.

J’onn and Alex had been enjoying the ride, with Alex still fascinated by the Kryptonian ship she had once flown with Kara’s instructions and J’onn marveling at the tech that allowed Kryptonians to move many times faster than the speed of light yet have no physical effects on the passengers and crew. The size of the fighter was much greater than he anticipated but still small compared to the Scout Ship.

Alex was also reflecting on the life changing events that had occurred in her life over that past few days and realized she was not sure how many more opportunities for a private discussion she would have with J’onn. She had one question that had really bugged her over the years and time was running out for her to ask it.

“Was it worth it? The kryptonite I mean, was it worth the feud? You were a mentor to him. He must have looked up to you at some point.” She saw she had his undivided attention, saw the concern on his face. With a catch in her voice, she plunged ahead, trying to explain why she wanted to know. “I mean, I know what kind of man you are, and I’ve known Clark most of my life… he’s looked out for me too, at least as best he could… and you may think it isn’t really my business, but both of you are my business… and you are my family.”

J’onn sighed and leaned back. “I suppose it would depend on which of us you ask… but that’s life.”

Staring at nothing in particular, he smiled sadly. “I do miss him. I miss our talks, I miss fighting by his side, but I would not change what I did. I did it to keep him safe, whether he wants to believe that or not.”

J’onn looked at his protégé, as she patiently waited, wanting to know more. Seeing the encouragement in her expression, J’onn settled in to tell her the whole story, something he had not talked about in years.

“After Zod, after we found the kryptonite, I knew it could be of use if Clark was ever attacked by any Kryptonians he may not have known about. I wanted to keep it, fashion it into weapons so if the Zod incident ever happened again, the DEO would be prepared to assist him, to help him. Clark took a beating in that fight with Zod, he nearly died, but even worse in Clark’s mind, he had to kill. I never wanted to see him experience that again.” J’onn explained.

“Clark was furious, and I was not surprised. His father, Jonathan Kent, dedicated his life to keeping Clark’s origins a secret. The man had a great distrust of the Government that he passed on to Clark. I will admit, Jonathan was right to keep it a secret and was not far off base with his distrust. I just thought if I had it, Clark may have felt differently. Unfortunately, he saw me as the Government after that decision. He felt betrayed, but I had to keep the kryptonite.”

Alex listened, intrigued. She knew kryptonite was the cause of the rift and tension between J’onn and Superman but had never heard the entire story.

“Why didn’t you let Wonder Woman or Batman take it?” she asked softly.

“I simply couldn’t. While I trust Diana, if the kryptonite were in Themyscira, she never could have gotten it in time for a battle. As for Batman… I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Clark trusts Bruce though.” Alex pointed out. “You don’t?”

J’onn shook his head. “No… and I never will, not when it comes to Clark’s safety. I have read Bruce Wayne’s mind over the years after he and Clark became… allies. It is difficult because he has learned to shield his thoughts in my presence. I have found him at times when he felt safe in the mansion or listened to his mind while floating above his cave.

“Bruce Wayne has a great darkness inside him. Though he is essentially a good man, he trusts no one completely, not even Clark or Diana. If he felt Clark was a threat or planned to do something Bruce did not approve of, he would not hesitate to use kryptonite on him.

“Clark believes they are friends, but I have seen inside the Batman’s mind. Batman doesn’t have friends. He has assets. Giving him kryptonite would have essentially been giving him control of Clark and I couldn’t let that happen.”

“I screwed up though. I didn’t keep a close enough eye on my own people.” J’onn closed his eyes, regret evident in his voice. “One of them was bought off by Lex Luthor, giving him a small sample which was enough for Luthor to replicate it. When Clark fought Metallo for the first time, he realized Luthor could have only replicated the kryptonite from a genuine sample and he confronted me. Though I made a mistake letting the sample get into Luthor’s hands, I still refused to let Bruce Wayne have it and Themyscira’s location had not come any closer or become any less hidden.

“That was the end of the friendship. I trust Clark, but he will never trust me again. He as much as told me I was as big a threat as Lex Luthor… he was angry, and I understood why.”

Alex sat listening, feeling a bit surreal. The story was much deeper as she suspected, but to hear it from J’onn’s point of view was a shock: the abject sorrow in his voice for his lost friend, his determination to keep the kryptonite from Bruce Wayne but still close enough to help Clark, and his willingness to protect Clark even knowing it would cost him someone he loved.

Her heart was breaking for her mentor, seeing the pain in his eyes and hearing it in his voice. “Did you ever explain your reasoning?”

J’onn shook his head. “He sees the best in people. He would never believe Bruce would want to hurt or control him.”

“After the Metallo incident, I had an encounter with the Green Lantern John Stewart. I was told if Kryptonite were ever used by the Government or fell into the hands of someone like Luthor again, the Lantern Corp would expose me, take possession of the kryptonite and allow me to rot in a DEO prison cell or be taken to the Prison on Oa.” J’onn told her.

Alex felt a flash of anger at hearing this. “You are serious? Clark had the Lanterns intervene?”

J’onn shook his head, quick to clarify the situation. “Not directly. I read Stewart’s mind and this threat had not come from Clark, but like Kara, Clark has a way of inspiring loyalty of those who know him. For the most part, the members of the Justice League are loyal to each other with one exception… Batman.

“If Clark’s hate was the price of keeping him from Bruce Wayne’s control, then it is a cross I will bear. He may deny it, but I know Bruce Wayne has a chunk of Kryptonite hidden somewhere. I wish I knew where but as I said, the man is incredibly good at hiding his thoughts. Even in his safest places, he does not think openly of his contingency plans for if, in his opinion, some Justice Leaguer were to go rogue.”

Alex took a deep breath and let that sink in. She had learned more this evening about the Justice League’s history and feud with J’onn than she ever thought she would.

Alex’s sorrow over the situation was because she could see both sides. Clark would never believe that Batman had anything but his best interests at heart and J’onn knew that wasn’t true and bore Clark’s hate to keep him safe.

It was a tragic story with no real way out for either side. Clark felt he could not trust J’onn and J’onn felt he could not trust Bruce Wayne. It had nothing to do with J’onn not trusting Clark.

Two great people, two former friends, a mentor and protector, torn apart by stupid misunderstandings. J’onn had lost so much, yet willingly gave up his friendship to the one man on Earth he had so much in common with simply to keep him safe.

Shaking her head in sorrow, she said softly, “I’m sorry, J’onn.”

J’onn nodded and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, gradually releasing the tension that had settled in his neck and shoulders. Glancing at the monitor, he said, “Looks like we are here. I hope it goes without saying that I would like our conversation to stay private.”

Alex nodded quickly, reaching over to squeeze his arm, letting him know his words were safe with her.

They waited as the ship gracefully landed without a bump and the ramp opened behind them.

The Kent farm lit up in Green as multiple Lanterns flew into the barn, holding large chunks of Element X as well as equipment Kara had told them she needed. It would not surprise Alex if they had brought equipment from Oa.

Kara and J’onn walked into the barn, Clark doing his best not to look at J’onn but obviously nervous about Kara being mentally and psychically vulnerable to the Martian during this procedure. What he could understand of it, he wasn’t happy with the risk his cousin was taking on.

She said she needed J’onn though and while he may not trust J’onn, he knew the Martian would not put his cousin at unnecessary risk, considering the tense Green Lanterns’ presence in the skies above and his own presence on the ground.

Clark also knew when experimenting with telepathy there was always a risk.

Alex, having been given no instructions from Kara, settled on a bale of hay and watched intently as the young Kryptonian molded the Element X while fusing glowing wires with her heat vision and attaching a giant crystal in the middle.

After a couple of hours of labor, Kara held up a three foot long cylinder with a bright crystal in the middle. “Kelex? What do you think?”

The robot examined the device carefully. “Unsurprisingly, you’ve exceeded the design specifications. The increased power output alone will be of great benefit when attempting to stop the Coluan.”

Kara nodded, pleased. “Are you ready for the next step?”

When Kelex indicated that he was, Clark spoke up, asking, “For those of us who have no idea what you are doing, can one of you explain what does come next?”

Kelex replied, “Next is for J’onn to read Alex’s mind so I can accumulate data to allow Myriad’s Q-Waves to blend with his. This should allow your minds to be opened to each other. We can test this part of the process easily.

“I do see a problem though. The key will be activating Myriad the second Brainiac activates his device allowing the three of you to oppose each other on a mental battlefield.

“The trick to doing that, however, will be targeting… Myriad needs a targeting computer so his signal can be intercepted before he reaches the minds of humanity.”

Kara shrugged her shoulders, not worried. “Myriad has a targeting computer… You.”

“Me?” Kelex squeaked in a clearly elevated voice, not unlike an organic being expressing surprise.

Kara smiled at her friend. “It needs to be a split second reaction by someone who is able to react to a storm of Q-Waves and counter them with our own. That’s you, buddy.”

Kelex shook his head. “I am not designed for this.”

“But you can do it.” Kara told him confidently.

Kelex tilted his head before shaking it in denial. “The odds…”

“Screw the odds!” Kara exclaimed. “The timing must be perfect, and I trust my best friend to be able to pull it off. My life is in your hands and there is no one else I would rather it be in. Don’t worry about probabilities, just know that you are going to do this… I believe in you, Kelex.”

“Let’s get started.” Turning to J’onn and Alex, she said, “J’onn, will you read Alex’s mind, please?”

J’onn looked towards Alex and his eyes glowed red.

“Stop… I have what I need.” Kelex told him rather quickly.

Without bending over, Kara reached toward a bag on the ground and two small crystals, no larger than a fist, floated to her hand. Kelex took one then the other dousing them both with a blue glow from his optical sensor.

He placed one on Kara’s forehead and the other on J’onn’s. The crystals touched the skin and did not move, held in place by some method unknown to J’onn.

“Ready, J’onn?” Kara asked. “When he turns this on, I’m going to catch a ride with your Q Waves. We will be in each other’s heads.”

The Martian gave her a thumbs up. “I’ve never read a Kryptonian mind. It should be a unique experience.”

Kara took a deep breath, then closed her eyes, saying a quick prayer to Rao. She opened her eyes and glanced at Kelex. “Do it.”

The crystals on J’onn and Kara’s foreheads turned bright blue, their bodies immediately tensing, then growing completely rigid, their heads thrown back.

J’onn was lost in darkness then a light appeared. As the light became clearer, he realized he was lying in a bed, only a passenger inside the body of a twelve-year-old girl being held comfortingly in General Non’s arms.

“Uncle Non?” J’onn heard Kara ask as he fell further into her memory.

“Yes, Little One. Go back to sleep.” Non replied. “It will be alright. I’m here.”

Kara tried to relax but couldn’t. She was now awake, and her mind was working overtime again.

It had been two days since the escape from the Phantom Zone. Two days during which she had been reunited with her Aunt and Uncle who were reunited with each other as well.

“Where are Mother and Aunt Astra?” Kara sat up and looked intently into her Uncle’s eyes. She saw he was hiding worry behind his false smile.

“They are taking care of some citizens’ concerns. Many of our people have gathered in the city’s center and are concerned about various issues.” He could obviously tell she was tense, so he tried to reassure her. “You have done wonderfully, Niece. Our people are free and together. Rest and let your Mother and Aunt handle the worries of the citizens.”

Realizing something was terribly wrong, Kara rolled out of bed before her uncle could stop her. She was still dressed as she was the day before in her bright red dress, her hair was a mess, though Kara didn’t care.

She exited the compound, running towards the city center, stopping abruptly as she took in the condition of her beloved city.

The first thing she noticed were the smells as they overloaded her olfactory senses… the smells were horrible.

During their stay in the Phantom Zone, normal decay of matter was suspended. Now that they were back in their own universe, the normal laws of physics had resumed, and the city was literally dying before her eyes as were its survivors.

There was barely any light from nearby stars and no power to generate artificial light except that provided by small generators and the two battle cruisers. The air was still, there was no ventilation to remove the poisons in the air. In addition, the bodies of those who died during the explosion were not able to be refrigerated or buried. They were currently being kept in shrouds at the city’s edge and beginning to decay creating another health hazard to the devasted survivors.

There was a haze of dust over the city creating a post-apocalyptic scene. Kara knew the water in the city was stale, perhaps dirty and the food and water from the two battle cruisers could only sustain the entire population for perhaps three months with strict rationing.

In addition, the temperature was very cold with Argo’s natural temperature disappearing as the coldness of space slowly penetrated the weakening shield that protected them.

The twelve-year-old heard her uncle running up behind her. She turned to him and saw a man and a woman moving towards her. She also noted they were armed, obviously members of the guard her parents thought she never noticed.

Her faithful Kelex unit floated to rest beside her as she addressed her uncle. “I need to know what is going on… don’t try to stop me.”

She didn’t wait and Non didn’t stop her, staying right behind her as did Kelex. Soon more men and women were either in front or behind her, running to keep pace with her.

The chase came to a stop fifteen blocks from the city center, where it seemed every remaining citizen of Argo was standing, blocking her path. Kara looked back at her Uncle who understood and picked up her small frame in his arms while his soldiers began pushing their way through the crowd around them.

As Kara came closer to the center, the voices became louder, people demanding to know what was going to happen: How would they breathe? Where would their food come from? Would disease be widespread due to the recovered corpses? Was the water drinkable? How long could rations hold?

These were but a few of the questions shouted aloud. Scuffles were broken up between citizens, more soldiers joined General Non and his niece, widening the gap between the citizens and her as they continued to push through.

Finally, they made it to the center of the park where her Mother and Aunt stood on a podium speaking with a Kelex who was amplifying their voices. Her Mother was calling for calm while Astra stood beside her sister in a defensive stance, protecting her.

Kara was placed on the podium by her uncle who climbed up beside her, her personal guard fanning out around them, further pushing the crowd back from the podium.

The young girl looked over the masses, deeply troubled by the sight of frightened people, some were still yelling, some were shoving each other as the soldiers spread strategically throughout the massive gathering tried to keep the peace. It was utter chaos.

“Kelex, amplify my voice.” Kara ordered her personal unit. Once Kelex indicated he was ready, she took a deep breath and yelled, “Quiet!”

The sight and sound of Kara standing beside her mother and aunt calmed the crowd immediately. The entire city knew that Zor El’s daughter was responsible for their escape from the Phantom Zone so their attention to her directive was immediate.

To J’onn’s surprise, the little girl’s voice quieted the crowd, not even a whisper could be heard.

She concentrated on her breathing, doing her best to maintain a calm façade, but he could feel the fear inside her, her heart racing and throat drying. Despite this, she spoke loudly and confidently, a skill she obviously learned from her Mother.

“Kryptonians, you know me. I am Kara Zor El. My Father gave his life to ensure the survival of our city… our people. I will not let that sacrifice be in vain. He did not rescue us so we could die in the vastness of space.

“You are frightened. I am also frightened but we are still here. Our Council still lives, and our Guilds still live. Our people are still Kryptonian and this means Krypton still lives!

“I know you have many questions but shouting them at once will not give you answers… but I will give you answers. I promise that in a month, if my directions are followed by our Guilds, I will make the water clean and plentiful. I will make our air sweet, give us light again, animals, fresh food, fertile soil… but in order to do this effectively and as quickly as possible, I need everyone to remain calm.

“I request that the heads of the Engineering Guild, the Agriculture Guild and the Construction Guild meet with me in the Council Chambers in two hours.

“In the meantime, it would best serve the people if the populace were to be temporarily housed on the Nightwing and Flamebird. The logistics of this endeavor will be directed by Generals Astra and Non. This temporary housing solution will give the guilds the time needed to improve the quality of life within Argo City itself without compromising the safety of our people.

“There is much to be done. All I ask is for you, our people, to trust me. I swear to all of you, Krypton will live, and her people will prosper.”

Whispers began once again, but they were not hostile or panicked as before. The shoving had stopped in the crowd.

One voice spoke up, that of Se Yu of the Science Guild. “Lady Kara, I would think… as the most experienced member of the Science Guild, I feel I am in a better position to…”

“But you are not the most experienced member of the Science Guild… I am.” Kara cut him off, not willing to let the fate of her people rest in anyone’s hands but hers. “I am also the Head of the Science Guild as my Father was before me.”

“Before you object, Se Yu, I would like for you to answer just one question: Do you have a plan to save our people?” Kara asked him sharply, standing tall, looking and acting every bit the daughter of Alura El.

The man shook his head.

“I do.” Kara told him. Looking around at the mass of people around her, she asked, “Does anyone challenge me for this position?”

Hearing nothing but silence, Kara nodded and began giving orders. “The Science Guild shall return to the lab and begin cataloging equipment and supplies, calibrate everything. Also, begin putting the lab back to some semblance of order so we can start on the projects I will outline for you once I conclude my meeting with the Guilds I’ve requested.

“I will work from my Father’s… from my lab. We cannot afford mistakes, everything must be precise. There is absolutely no room for error. Be prepared for my instructions as they must be followed with precision.

“For now, everyone else needs to go to your homes and relax as best you can. In the next couple of days, Generals Astra and Non will have worked out a plan to bring everyone on board the Cruisers.” Kara looked back at her Aunt and Astra nodded in agreement. Even though Kara hadn’t consulted her beforehand, Astra knew it was the best course of action to keep the people safe and out of the way until repairs could be made to make the city livable again.

Kara looked back over the gathering, wanting to ease their worries. “Know that you are safe, and you will continue to be. I swear it.”

Kara moved to step down from the stage, but was picked up by Non with her guard flanking them as they left the city center. Her uncle did not bother taking her home; he knew where she needed to go. It was the place he understood from Alura she had spent nearly all her time in while caught in the Phantom Zone and most of her waking hours before the destruction of Krypton.

J’onn came to himself, though still feeling her memory surrounding him as felt Non gently set her on the ground in front of Zor El’s lab, the lab that now belonged to her. Non nodded to the guard as they took up positions around the structure and he left to go coordinate with Astra and the military command staff to start planning to house the populace temporarily.

The Martian walked beside a young Kara as she went inside and felt what she was feeling. Sadness, a deep grief, rage and loneliness.

The little girl walked to the station in the middle of the room and raised her hand, a hologram of her Father appearing. She stared at the man for minutes without a word.

“Why did you do this to me?!” She suddenly screamed at the unmoving hologram. “I could have easily made a remote that would have cut through the rock layers under our city! You never even asked me for help! Now I am alone!”

Kara fell to her knees in tears, a deep grief and anger consuming her.

“Where are you, Rao?! Why did you do this to me? I have always tried to be good! Why?! I want to know why! Answer me! Is Aethyr the only celestial who can speak?

“I’ve prayed to you every day and night and you took him from me! You took Aunt Lara and Uncle Jor! You took Kal El, an innocent baby! Our people, your people… you left us to die! You are no god! If you were, you should have protected us! Why should I follow you? What have you done besides take and take? You took our worship and in our darkest hour, you did nothing! Nothing! You are nothing to me! I will do this myself! I will do what you would not! I don’t need you!” Kara screamed. “I will never need you! I will never pray to you or worship you again!”

The girl placed her hands over her eyes and bent to the floor, her forehead touching the cool marble she knelt on, shaking as hot tears, both from grief and anger, slid between her fingers to pool on the floor. She thought escaping the Phantom Zone would solve all her people’s problems and instead it brought more.

“Why?” Kara asked quietly. “It isn’t fair. You aren’t fair. You left us. You aren’t real, maybe you never have been. If you are real, you are evil. Maybe there is no light, no souls. None of us deserved this. What did we do to offend you? Why am I still here and he isn’t? Why was the temple crushed?! You owe us answers! But you are absent! Worthless! I got us out of the Phantom Zone, not you! Should I pray to Aethyr?! He was there and you weren’t! How much do you want from me?!”

The little girl took a deep breath, raised herself up and leaned back against the console, drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. She whispered, broken and shaking, “How am I supposed to do this without Father? You are nothing to me, Rao, not anymore.”

Kara sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. She had not paid attention to her surroundings but was not surprised when Kelex floated in front of her.

“I need you to tell me what you need done.” He spoke in a soft voice, obviously not wanting to upset her further.

“I don’t know if it matters anymore, Kelex. My god is gone. He probably never existed. Why do we live? It is pointless. I know how to extend life but for what purpose? Why should I bother?” Kara asked, exhausted from her breakdown, having no more tears to shed.

She was feeling lost, the foundation of her life totally ripped from beneath her feet leaving her with nothing to stand on. Now she was rapidly falling into despair with nothing to slow her descent.

Kelex reached out and put his mechanical hand on her shoulder, offering what comfort he was capable of. “Kara, listen to me. You swore to the remaining Kryptonians that you would save them. You defeated the Phantom Zone and you know how to save this city. But to do that, you must get off your knees and work.

“I have never known you to kneel. You have always stood tall. Even in your darkest hours, you stood. Now you are kneeling, expecting answers that you already know. What did your Father always say about matter that remains motionless?”

The girl remembered, reciting her Father’s words. “It may as well be dead. Life is about movement, never stopping. Everything must move or there is no point in it. Even mountains shift over the eons.”

Kelex nodded. “Then you must keep moving. You aren’t alone. I am here. The Guilds will follow your instructions, the people will follow where you lead. Rao is with you.”

“If Rao was here, why did he do this?” Kara asked, her voice breaking. “What if I don’t want a soul anymore? Souls hurt, Kelex. Everything hurts. I thought when I got us out of the Phantom Zone, everything would be better, but it isn’t, it’s worse. Our dead are given no dignity but decay, poisoning those who survived. Rao gives me no answers.”

Kelex was quiet for a moment, then tilted his head, reaching out with his other arm and putting it on her other shoulder, gently squeezing both, demonstrating an empathy not found in a normal Kelex.

But like Kara, this Kelex wasn’t normal as reflected in his words to his young friend. “From what I understand of the Book of Rao, it isn’t your purpose to question him, only to carry out the path he has laid before you. Is this not what you have learned in Temple?

“Perhaps he doesn’t need to speak to you because he knew you could find the answers on your own. How many questions did you ask your Father that he refused to answer, encouraging you to look for solutions on your own? It was his way of helping you grow into who you are… the most brilliant scientist the House of El and Krypton has ever known.

“Now get off your knees and save your people! You can cry afterward, you can question Rao, but right now you have a job to do, one that only you can.

“I wish I could do it for you, but I do not possess your mental capacity. Only you can do this.” Kelex stated, helping her refocus on the immediate matter of their continued survival.

Kara nodded her head, wiped her eyes and stood up. “Will the Guilds even listen to me? Will they do as I say, without question?”

“They will, Beloved.” Alura’s voice assured her. She felt her mother’s hands on her shoulders, taking her by surprise. She had no idea Alura was in the lab and wondered how much she had heard.

Kara turned and leaned into her mother as Alura drew her into a comforting embrace. “Mother, do you believe I can succeed?”

Alura put a hand under her chin and tilted Kara’s face up gently taking in her daughter’s tear-stained face and red-rimmed, blue eyes. “I know you can, Kara. Your Father is with you right now though you cannot see him. I can see him in you, in your eyes, and I swear, you will never be alone. Rao is shining brightly in you even now.”

Using her thumb to wipe away the tears that were again sliding down her young daughter’s face, Alura said, “You question your faith and I understand. It’s okay to question… you are not the only Kryptonian who feels abandoned by our god right now. But I see proof of his existence standing in front of me. We cried out to Rao, questioning him while we were trapped in the Phantom Zone and he answered… through you. I promise you, Rao is here, he remains confident in you, and no matter how much you question him, he will always love you and never leave you.

“The survival of our entire race now falls on your shoulders. It isn’t fair to you, but this is your path, the journey Rao has laid before you. It is a hard path, a cruel one that will never be easy to walk, but do not be afraid to follow it. I have never known you to be afraid. You have always been fearless, just like your father.

“Never forget… you are Kara Zor El, the greatest gift Rao has ever given our people. I wish you didn’t have this placed on you ever, but you are so young… I would take your burden if I could, but I cannot. Rao did not choose me, he chose you and has gifted you with everything you need to follow this path. I believe in you. Krypton believes in you… and they are right to do so. Remember your Father’s words. Keep moving… one problem at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time… but keep moving, Kara.”

Kara took a deep breath and schooled her face, wiping her red eyes once again. “Kelex?”

“Yes, Kara?” Kelex answered, having never moved from her side.

“Send orders to the Science Guild to collect DNA samples of every wildlife specimen found after the destruction, no matter how small. I need schematics of the air, the water and the tonnage of debris left from the city’s destruction. Give me a biometric and subatomic breakdown of the city as it is now.” Kara directed her friend. “Once you have that information, activate my matter transmutation device and connect it to the DNA sequencer. I have a design for micro bots that will illuminate the city, rebuild our soil and distribute moisture as needed. I want to prepare these myself. They are too important to leave in the hands of the Engineering Guild. We need plants and water quickly.”

She paused, thinking through the massive amount of work that needed to be done, prioritizing projects rapidly in her mind. “I also need for you to bring up everything you have on the state of our shield. I want to know what the Phantom Zone energy did to it and determine if it needs to be strengthened. We must be protected, not only from the vastness of space but cosmic radiation.”

“At once.” Kelex replied.

Kara fell silent as Kelex floated off quickly before asking her mother another question she did not know if she wanted the answer to. “Do you think Kal made it off the planet in time?”

Kara heard her mother sigh and knew she had no idea.

“He is so cute. He can’t be dead. He must have made it to Earth… and I’ll make sure he has a good place to come back to. I promise you, Mother, I will find him one day and bring him home.” Kara stated, her confidence returning as her plans took shape.

J’onn was amazed at the little girl, the emotions that rolled through her and how quickly she controlled them. Her determination was like no other he had ever felt. Too much determination for one so young. He knew she was hiding a deep fear though, the fear of failure and guilt at questioning her faith, anger at the life she had been given, felt the despair she was trying to block out with renewed confidence.

As J’onn was watching a defining moment in the life of a young, grief stricken and driven twelve-year-old girl, Kara found herself on a red landscape.

She knew she was seeing what J’onn experienced, felt his fear, his despair, the spark of hope dying in his heart. She felt the minds of the Green Martians, almost as one, a storm of rage and grief over the entire species and it made her want to leave the Martian’s mind, but she saw no way out. It was nearly unbearable, but she stood strong. If she could not handle this, how would she handle Brainiac?

Kara closed then opened her eyes, trying to focus on J’onn’s thoughts alone. It was impossible. His people were all linked, all of the Greens across the planet. The Whites were constantly battering their mental shields, breaking them down, assaulting their minds and emotions.

Men were herded in a large clear walled cage. To touch it, felt like fire, yet the Green Martians stood by the walls, watching what Kara knew to be White Martians just outside, herding women and children in another prison cage, in full view of the men.

Kara felt J’onn’s terror, a heart sickening fear for three individuals. His wife and two daughters were in that large cage. His fear was magnified by the terror of all the men standing with him as they were trapped and unable to help their families.

J’onn focused his telepathy onto his wife and children, doing his best to reign in his fear, to try and be brave, reassure them that everything would be okay, though he knew things were not. All across Mars were camps like this. It had been less than 24 hours since the White Martians had emerged all over the planet from its crust, bearing powerful weapons and a thirst for the blood of the peaceful Green Martians. They had been overrun so quickly, weak and defenseless.

As he projected reassuring thoughts and feelings to his family, his worst fear happened. Liquid rose from the ground under the feet of the imprisoned women and children. A White Martian walked to a tiny hole in the wall and placed his weapon inside. A spark and J’onn saw a great roaring fire immediately erupt.

Kara felt the pain, the physical and mental agony of those caught in the fire, but especially J’onn’s wife and daughters. Kara screamed until her throat burned. J’onn’s eyes would not leave his family, and he began beating against the wall despite the pain, despite the deep burns. He finally felt the rage needed to fight the White Martians, but it was too late.

Kara fell to her knees as she felt the flames consuming them in her mind, felt J’onn’s wife and daughters pain overcoming his thoughts. As J’onn’s mental shields began to fail, losing the connection to his wife and daughters as they died in the flames, he was assaulted with the pain of an entire species burning, all across the planet. It drove him to near insanity.

J’onn was pulled back from the wall by his father, but he was hardly aware of it.

“Son, the outer gate has been broken. We must run.” His father told him.

J’onn said nothing. Run? All he wanted was to jump into the flames with his wife and daughters. What was there to run to? He wanted death, death to the White Martians and death to himself.

Instead of resisting, he was in such shock that he allowed his father to pull him along.

J’onn was barely aware that the far wall had somehow been breached and Greens were fighting Whites in a bloody battle. It never occurred to him to enter the battle. He no longer cared what happened to him. His whole world was lost, had gone up in flames before his eyes.

Ships began launching off the planet, ships the Whites had used to attack his people during the short opening battle that spelled their doom. One-man fighters were launching and exploding in the sky as the Whites shot them down.

J’onn felt himself thrown into one of the small cockpits and snapped out of his haze. “What are you doing, Father?!”

“I am giving you your best chance of living. I’m programming this ship for Earth.”

“I don’t want to leave! I won’t leave our people! My family… I want to join them! I want death!” J’onn screamed, his mind ravaged with grief.

His Father shook his head. “Our people are doomed, and your dying will not bring back our family. You have this chance, but we must hurry. I am sending you into stasis and launching at lightspeed. Do not interfere with the controls! Now go!”

“No!” J’onn shouted before his Father’s fist hit his jaw, sending him into darkness.

When J’onn woke, the stolen White Martian ship was on the surface of a new planet with him strapped in safely. It was dark in the jungle and he stumbled out, not sure where to go.

At last, he found a clearing and looked to the stars. He saw his home, a small red dot in the sky and knew where he was. Stretching out his mental net he searched in vain for other Green Martians but for the first time in his long life, he felt nothing.

He was alone.

Grief and guilt overtook him as the images of his wife and children burning stayed in his mind. He was alive and they were all dead. J’onn fell to his knees and cried, cursed his gods, cursed himself, cursed the Universe for even existing. He did not move for three days.

Kara took a deep breath and she was free, standing in front of J’onn in his true form in a landscape neither recognized, a shimmering floor and every color of light streaking past them. Tears were streaming down her face, her stomach sick, her muscles cramped and her mind aflame.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Kara said in a broken voice. Even in this mindscape she shared with the Martian, her voice was raw from screaming. “You couldn’t stop what was going to happen. It wasn’t fair but it was never your fault, J’onn. I am so sorry.”

J’onn shook his head feeling guilt immediately over Kara, not just seeing his worst moment, but feeling the pain of every Green Martian as he had.

He had felt her pain and she had felt his.

“You don’t need to feel guilt over the anger inside you, Kara. You are allowed to feel emotions. There is no shame in questioning your beliefs, especially during tragedies. I have questioned mine. I still do at times.”

“He will exploit our pain.” She told him.

“Yes, he will. But we don’t have to let him. We can use these emotions as strength, a strength he does not know we have, one that he cannot predict.” J’onn told her, giving her a warm smile.

Kara nodded. “I suppose we should work on these weaknesses and build our strengths. We have to find a way, or he has already won.”

J’onn stepped closer to her. He placed a hand on the side of her cheek. “You remind me so much of my wife and daughters. Your soul is beautiful like theirs. Your heart is pure, Kara. Never lose that.”

“I questioned my god, my soul, I lost faith for an awfully long time, J’onn. My soul is anything but pure.” Kara insisted.

“I disagree. You are still standing, still smiling, still have faith in your god. You did not stay on your knees. You rose and kept moving, Kara. Your soul is pure, stronger because of what you experienced. Sometimes loss of faith makes rediscovering faith so much stronger.” J’onn told her.

Kara wrapped her arms around J’onn’s waist and hugged him tightly. “Your people were beautiful. Your wife and children would be so proud of the protector and hero you have become.”

“Altruism. You are filled with it. You are so unselfish. You remind me of my Father. You want to help others no matter the cost to yourself. You want…” Kara stopped, pulled back from J’onn slightly and her eyes brightened… “altruism divided by respect, the respect of others and the respect given you, the innocence of your wife and children live through you and your dignity. Sympathy times innocence, equals… dignity.”

“I can feel you thinking. It is an amazing feeling.” J’onn said with reverence in his voice. Her thoughts were somehow chaotic but organized, clear yet too fast to understand. Kara’s mind was electrifying. He heard but could not keep up with the formulas that repeated over and over, the intensity of emotions running through her head, the brilliance that shined from her.

“ R ∗ = 1.5-3 yr−1, f p = 1, n e = 0.2, f l = 0.12, f i = 1, then N = 3 × 1 × 0.2 × 0.13 × 1 × 0.2 × 109 = 15,600,000.” Kara said, repeating those formulas clearly over and over as they began appearing on the walls of light surrounding them, her voice becoming more and more confident.

“Your people knew, J’onn.” Kara said excitedly. “It was how you lived in harmony. You never needed an equation, it just was. Y is despair, N is caution, love is truth and death equals rebirth. Our self, our soul equals light. It must. But before that… Help me focus, J’onn.”

J’onn felt Kara’s mind racing faster and faster and placed his hands on the sides of her head, pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, willing her to calm. Opening his eyes, he saw screens and holograms coming to life around her, the walls slowly dissipating in what he thought was an advanced Kryptonian laboratory, strange symbols in the air. A red aura was surrounding her, and he felt so warm.

“Can you feel it?” Kara asked almost breathlessly.

“Yes, I can.” J’onn admitted, his heart beginning to feel lighter somehow, a peace he had not known since before the destruction of his people. He felt her love, her determination to live, he saw every moment of her life and she saw his.

“Companionship + understanding + assurance + joy + altruism ÷ respect ÷ commendation ÷ sympathy x innocence x dignity x success x acceptance y=n where y=despair and n=caution, love=truth, death=rebirth, and self=light.” She whispered.

J’onn tensed then relaxed as she relaxed, the equation settling, imprinting itself onto his mind as it poured from hers. He recognized it for what it was. The key to living, the reason for life, the unescapable truth that life was worth living and always would be. The feeling stunned him, the equation carving its way into his mind, permanently etching itself into his subconscious.

Kara pulled back from the Martian and smiled brightly, nearly jumping up and down. “We are ready! No matter how strong the Anti-Life Equation, we know how to beat it. We can prove it wrong. We will win, J’onn. Life will always beat death.”

The Martian smiled. “Yes, we will. We will have to bring him here, the bridge between our minds. I can draw him here and we will imprint your truth onto his mind. For now, we should leave. You have loved ones to return to.”

“So, do you. I’m one of them. We must purify ourselves or he will use our weaknesses against us. He will test our resolve and we will break his mind, force emotions into him he has never experienced. We will pray and we will win. Our gods will defeat him through us!

J’onn ran a finger though her golden hair. “Yes, we will.”

The bright colorful lights they were surrounded by disappeared into darkness.

Kara felt herself being held tightly, she felt tears dropping onto her cheeks, her head pressed to J’onn’s chest as tears poured from both their eyes.

The blonde opened her eyes and looked up. She saw the face of Hank Henshaw smiling down at her.

She stepped back, the crystals on their foreheads, floating to Kelex. Taking a look around, she saw the shocked and worried faces of Kal and Kell Ur. Alex was there as well with tears in her eyes.

“What… what happened?” Alex asked, concern evident in her voice. “The two of you stiffened like you were in pain, looks of agony on your faces… then you moved forward and held each other. What happened?”

Glancing up a J’onn, Kara looked back at Alex, smiling at her new partner. “We solved the Life Equation. When he comes, we will be ready.”