Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Wanted

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 09:

BPOV

I woke up to a foul smell. It stung. I sat up in bed and looked around. I nearly screamed. Esme and Carlisle were there. He had smelling salts? Embry and Sam were also there. In my room. It was dark outside. What happened? Why are they here? Why is my head killing me? This doesn’t feel like a hangover. I usually don’t get those till at least sunup.

“Bella, do you know where you are?” Carlisle asked in his doctor voice.

I nodded my head and realized my throat hurt. Shit did they turn me into a vampire? No I would have remembered the burn. And my head would be hurting.

“Yes.” I replied and realized my voice was scratchy.

“Do you remember what happened?” Carlisle asked in his soothing tone.

Did I? I remember drinking in my room. I remembered Embry coming over. I remembered treating him like shit and telling him to leave. God I’m such a bitch. He could do… That’s right, I remember thinking he could do better and going for a…

“Laurent!”

“Yes Bella. You were attacked by Laurent.” Esme said. She looked upset.

“Where is he?”

“We killed him. Emmett, Rose and Esme killed Laurent and his mate Irina before they could kill you.”

Oh this was not good.

“Why?”

“Why what Bella?” Sam asked.

“Why did you kill them? You are friends with the Denali’s. Irina told me she was from Denali. I could have ended this. He could have killed me and it would be over. What were you even doing there?”

Carlisle and Esme looked away. Embry spoke up.

“Be glad they were Bella. You would be dead now if it wasn’t for the Cullens. They chose you over other vampires. One of whom I understand they have been friends with for hundreds of years.”

I must be delusional. I could swear I just heard Embry stand up for the Cullens.

“Bella, we are not going to let you die.” Esme said sitting down beside me.

“Now the Denali’s are going to come for Embry, the wolves and you because of Irina. They are going to want revenge. This won’t end. It should have ended.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way Bella. But you are my daughter whether you think you are or not. And I will not allow harm to come to my child.” Carlisle said.

Damn. My head hurt.

“Bella what were you doing in the woods, drunk at midnight?” Embry asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it Embry. My head is killing me.”

“Yes, Laurent through you to the ground by the neck before Emmett attacked him. Nothing is broken but your voice may be scratchy for a few days and your head is definitely going to hurt.” Carlisle said quietly.

“I don’t give a damn if you want to talk about it. Answer me.”

“What did you say?” I asked. I couldn’t have heard him right.

“I said fucking answer me now!”

What the hell has gotten into Embry? He never talks to me this way. I’m such a disappointment to him.

“You’ve made her cry!” I heard Esme say and then I felt her cool arms around me. Embry was growling.

“Let go of her.”

“No.”

“Esme, it’s okay. I wiped the tears I didn’t realize were falling. My breath was horrible I’m sure. My mouth was dry.

“Embry I was taking a walk.”

“A walk? In the woods? Drunk? At midnight?”

“Yep. You pretty much just summed it up.”

“Why would you do that Bella?”

“My head hurts and I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Carlisle, Esme, Embry, can I have a moment to talk to Bella alone?” Sam asked.

“No. I think I want everyone to leave. I need to be alone. I need to sleep. I have school in… shit two hours. What am I going to tell Charlie?”

“You are going to tell him you fell down the stairs Bella and hit your throat on the edge of a stair. You are not going to school today. Graduation is in two days and there is no reason you can’t miss today. Most of the seniors have stopped attending after finals anyway. I will be checking on you today. If that is okay?” Carlisle asked.

I looked at Embry who nodded. “I will be with you today too.”

“No. You have to go to school. Your mother is probably wondering where the hell you are at right now. Go home Embry. You shouldn’t have to babysit me all the time.”

“I’m not leaving…”

“GO HOME! Everybody please. Please just go home.”

“Earlier you were complaining that I was never here. Now you don’t want me Bella?”

God he sounded so hurt.

“You know I love you baby. But I can handle this myself.” I looked at him closely.

“Embry something is different about you. What happened after you left me?”

“Nothing we need to talk about now. You need to concentrate on getting well. We can talk about everything else later.”

Oh shit.

“You’re breaking up with me aren’t you?”

“What? Bella don’t be ridiculous. I love you. I will never leave you. But we are going to have some serious discussions about your behavior lately. It has to stop Bella.”

“I know.” I mumbled out. I really didn’t want to have this conversation with a room full of people.

“Bella, would you mind if Sam, Emse and I went downstairs and Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper came up? They have been very worried about you.”

“Can it wait Carlisle? Can they come later? Please? I just want to go back to sleep. Please can everyone just go? I will talk to all of them later, I swear. No bullshit or putting it off. But for now I just want to be alone.”

“You can’t drink Bella.”

“Excuse me?”

“You suffered a concussion tonight. Alcohol could make it worse. If there is any internal bleeding the alcohol will make it bleed faster before any other symptoms show. You can’t drink Bella.”

“For how long?”

“Jesus Bella! What the hell is wrong with you? Its 4 AM and you are worried about when you can have your next damn drink!” I heard Embry yell at me.

“Embry I like you but so help me God if you yell at Bella one more time…”

“No Esme. It’s fine. He’s right. It’s not a big deal. I won’t drink. But I want everybody to leave. Please.”

I looked up and saw Embry nod. They got up and walked out. Embry was the last.

“Bella, can I stay for a little while and hold you? I almost lost you tonight. I wouldn’t have gotten there in time. If not for the… anyway can I please hold you before I leave? I’m begging you here Bella.”

He deserved so much more. But I couldn’t deny him anything.

I opened my arms and he ran to me and wrapped me up. I started crying instantly. He held me so tightly. I wish I could stay like this forever. I wish I could be a part of him and forget about me. That would be enough. Maybe I am not a whole person. Maybe I have to have someone to latch on to. Edward, then Jake, even if it was a friendship only. I latched on to him and turned my back on him the minute… Actually he turned his back on me first. And now I wanted to latch on to Embry. Forget myself. When the hell did I become so weak?

I finally stopped being selfish about 6 AM. He never moved the whole time he was holding me. I convinced him to go home and get some sleep or get ready for school. He tried to kiss me and I stopped him.

“Embry my breath is horrible. You don’t want to kiss me.”

“I almost lost you last night Bella. I never want to stop kissing you.”

He pressed his lips to mine and I let him. I still felt that electricity that I was addicted to. The minute he jumped out of my window I felt empty again. Charlie came home and I told him the story of what supposedly happened. He wanted to take me to the hospital because of my scratchy voice but I talked him out of it. He was so concerned. He asked me to sleep in the living room so he could sleep in the recliner and he could keep an eye on me. I told him it wasn’t necessary. He offered to sleep on a foldout next to my bed. He was concerned about the head injury. I talked him out of that.

After I heard Charlie snoring in his room I walked back into mine. I locked my window and closed the shades. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I knew what I needed. And it was calling to me from my underwear drawer. The one drawer Charlie refused to look in. I gave in. I walked over and took my bottle and my shot glass. I would only have a couple. Just to take the edge off.

Embry POV

God this has been a crazy two days. I have tried to come see Bella but she made excuses for me not to. Graduation plans and final projects. I knew for a fact that all her projects had ben done weeks ago. But tonight she wouldn’t stop me. Mom and I had made plans to have dinner with Bella and her Dad after graduation. And she knew we would be there. I was going crazy not seeing her. I thought of sleeping outside her window but figured if she went on one of her midnight walks she might see me and be angrier. I’m not sure what I have done. I’m not sure who to talk to about this. I don’t know what to do. Being Alpha of a pack of wolves is easier than handling my relationship with my imprint.

We arrived at the ceremony and grabbed our seats next to Charlie. He was in tears already. Tough guy my ass. At leat not when it came to his little girl. Which makes me wonder how the hell he can miss all the signs of her drinking. Tonight at least it doesn’t look like she has been drinking. Even in that horrible yellow gown she is radiant. She is happy. She looked at me and smiled. Maybe things are going to be better. Maybe now that school is over and the summer is here we can spend all our time together and she will be happy. I’m at the point I would do anything to make her happy.

After the ceremony Bella hugged Charlie and then my mom and then kissed me. No alcohol. I’m a little ashamed that this was my first thought kissing her but it was.

We arrived at the Lodge where Charlie has reserved a table.

“So Bella. What now?” Mom asked. I knew Mom had been worried about this. Despite Bella’s assurance that she wouldn’t leave she still was a little leeary. She loved Bella. She really did. But I think she noticed that Bella had some issues. Since Bella left our house to go back to Charlie’s she has only been over a few times. And she has been distant. Not cold. Just not her normal sweet loving self. And Mom noticed. I think she was preparing herself for Bella leaving.

“I’m getting an apartment, in Forks and am going to keep working where I am at until I decide what to do next.”

“Uh Bella, I didn’t know you were moving out.” Charlie said. Surprise. Bella didn’t run this by him. This was the first I was hearing about it as well.

“Yeah I have already signed the lease. I wanted to surprise you. You get your house and bathroom back!”

“Uh Bella. Uhm I realize you need your space but it really wasn’t a bother. I like having you around.”

“I know Dad. But I’m not going away or anything. I’m going to be less than four blocks from the station. And I need some space of my own Dad.”

“Hey I understand. I’m proud that you want to make it on your own. But is Newton’s going to pay enough that you can pay your bills and rent?”

I had the same thought.

“Yeah, I’ve got a budget worked out and now that I am not going to school I can work more. It will be fine. I mean it’s not a career but it’s a start into my adult life.”

And a way to allow her to drink all the time with no pressure from Charlie coming home.

“So Embry, are you going to help me out with moving?” She winked at me. This was the Bella I loved to be around. I loved her all the time but she… I can’t explain it. It’s like she is two different people. I just don’t get it.

“Of course Baby. And so will Sam and Jarrod and Quil.” I left out Paul and Jake. No sense in adding tension to the conversation. The strangest things can set her off. She has been taking herself to therapy lately. She hasn’t wanted me to go. She hasn’t been distant, but she said she doesn’t want to feel like she is using me. I don’t get that but… no I don’t get that. And she has continued drinking. If she were dating anyone other than a wolf you wouldn’t be able to tell. But under her breath mints and strawberry shampoo I can smell it there.

Dinner ended and Bell and I had the rest of the night to do what we pleased. And I had a pretty sure idea of what I wanted to do. I hoped she felt the same way.

“So baby, what do you want to do?”

“I want you Embry. Is that okay? Can you take me to the forest? I want to make love to you in the forest.”

“Yeah, I think I can manage that. I still hadn’t gotten around to telling her about being Alpha or Billy or Jake or anything else. Right now I just wanted to be with her.”

BPOV It has been a week since Graduation. Embry helped me move. I hated my apartment. It was as lonely as Charlie’s house when he wasn’t home. And it didn’t have a window with a view of the forest to look out of. But I needed to be on my own. My therapist would be proud if I ever bothered going back to him. I didn’t live with Charlie anymore. He couldn’t make me do anything.

I figured it would give me and Embry a place to have sex all the time. Instead he has been slightly busy. He finally told me about being alpha. Kicking the crap out of Jake, finding out Billy is his father. I had seen Alice twice and Esme came to visit. Emmett came twice by himself and once with Rose. Rose still wouldn’t talk much, but she didn’t scowl either. I have to admit it was good to have the company. I missed them. They claimed to not know where Edward was. I believed them. Alice let slip, probably on purpose that Carlisle kicked him out.

A part of me was touched.

A part of me was sad. The only family Edward has and he lost them because of me. Bella, the bringer of destruction wherever she goes.

Embry was supposed to come over tonight. I hadn’t drunk much because of it. Only a few shots. And some from the bottle. I was realizing I could handle my liquor a lot better now. Unfortunately it took more to make me feel the way I wanted to feel. I heard a knock on the door. I looked at the clock and it was still two hours before Embry was due to take care of me. Too give me my other addiction. We have seen each other a little more now that summer is here and I never let him go without making love to him. I may not be good for him but I plan to be good to him. At least I can do that.

I opened the door and my blood froze.

“Hello Edward.”

“Hello Bella. May I come in?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Of course. I would never barge into your home if you didn’t want me here.” He seemd sincere so I let stood aside and motioned for him to come in.

I closed the door and looked at him. He was beautiful. He always had been. I stopped a minute to think about what I was feeling right now. I felt… sadness and anger. I needed a drink. I poured bourbon in a glass and lit a cigarette.

“Have a seat.”

“If you want me to.”

“You should do it anyway. It’s the human thing to do. If you are going to come into a human’s home you should act human. Your brother’s and sister’s do. You should as well.”

“Of course Bella. Forgive me.”

“So what do you want Edward?”

I saw Edward sniff slightly. I sighed.

“Yes Edward it smells like sex in here. Because I have sex with my boyfriend. A lot. So unless you want to get kicked out now top sniffing. It’s rude.”

He at least ahd the decency to look away.

“I never… I want to apologize for the things I said to you that day. You see I had to tell you those things, none of which were true, so you would hate me and move on.”

“Mission accomplished. I hate you. Now move on.”

“Bella I did it for your protection…”

“You know when most people apologize they say they are sorry, they don’t justify the actions they are sorry for. You fucking destroyed me. You led me around like a goddamn puppy and I let you. I don’t know if I hate you or myself more for that. And then you took me into the fucking woods and destroyed whatever self-confidence and self-worth I had. And you made your family go with you. In the name of what YOU thought was right! I can almost forgive them. I am nearly there. Because you see, I understand what a goddamn manipulator you are. And I realize you manipulated them to get what you want. I guess it comes with reading minds? Thinking you know what is best? I don’t care how much you think you know. You are just a 17 year old asshole and you will be for eternity!” I finished off my drink and fixed another one.

“I did it too well didn’t I? I thought leaving you would protect you. Despite Alice saying you would be one of us. Or maybe because of it. But when I realized you would never be safe once I borught you into this world I realized how wrong I was. I am sorry for that.”

I didn’t say anything. I just glared at him. His beauty was pissing me off. My hair was wild. I was thin with no muscle tone. My eyes were dull. I wasn’t rich or strong. He wants me to rely on him for protection? I would rather be dead. At least I would have some shred of dignity left.

“You are never going to forgive me are you? You will never love me again.”

“Now you are getting it Edward. I’m glad it’s seeping in. If I had known that is what you needed to hear I would have invited you over long ago.”

“We did… I mean you did love me at one time right Bella? It wasn’t just because you found me beautiful?”

“I suppose. Did you really love me or was it just because you couldn’t read my mind and my blood smelled yummy to you?”

“Yes Bella. You are the only one I have ever loved. And the only one I will love. Do you think it is possible we could be friends one day?”

“Nope.”

I think he appreciated my candor. Maybe not.

“Could you consider it?”

“Nope.”

“I understand. I will leave you. I’m sure my family and your wolves can do more than an adequate job of protecting you.”

“I don’t need protection.”

“Really? You are a part of the supernatural world. And you are a human. You are constantly at risk.”

“But I have a secret that sets me apart Edward. Something I can hold on too when times are tough.”

“What is that Bella?”

“I am not afraid to die.” I told him looking into his eyes.

I never saw him move.

He was so fast.

But I found myself crushed in his grip. And his lips were on mine.I tried to back my head away but he put his hand around the back of my head and I couldn’t move. He threw me on the couch and was on top of me. I finally mouth free and screamed. That seemed to stop him.

“Bella, I’m so sorry, I don’t know…”

“Get out. So help me God if I ever see you again I will kill myself if I can’t kill you.”

He got off of me. Damn I hurt.

“I guess I will be leaving. I will never bother you again Bella.”

“You know the way out.”

I closed my eyes still lying on the couch. I heard the door close. I hoped he was gone. Please never let me see him again in my life.

I don’t know how long I lay there. I got up twice to fix myself a drink and lay back down as soon as they were downed.

It must have been two hours.

Because I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in. It’s open.” I didn’t have to yell. Anybody who would come see me has better hearing than I ever will.

The door softly opened and I heard his voice.

“Bella?”

“Embry.” I sighed. God I needed him. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had the strangest look on his face.

“Bella what is going on?”

“Just waiting on you, lover. I missed you.”

“Then could you tell me why your clothes are torn and you smell like Edward Cullen?”