Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Seeing Red

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 11: The first steps

Central City

It had been two days since Barry Allen had returned to Central City. Two days of going to work, trying to keep his mind off of everything and failing to do so. Thankfully it had been two quiet days that the Flash was not needed.

Until tonight.

And he was not on his game.

What should have been a simple madman causing havoc in a shopping mall had turned out to be a walking crocodile, destroying the building, scattering people and mauling anyone he could grab.

Moving around him quickly, the Flash threw a bolt of lightning into the man… metahuman… mutated walking crocodile wearing ragged human clothes. He was not overly large, in the way King Shark was, perhaps 6’10 but of massive bulk and muscled, all covered with crocodile skin, basically armor as far as being impenetrable.

The lighting blast did not move him. Barry tried to hit him several times, his punches, despite the speed, having no effect. Now the Flash was reduced to dodging swings from the monster.

“Cisco, any ideas on what I am facing here?”

“A walking crocodile. Maybe King Shark has a cousin.” his friend suggested.

“Not helping.”

“Hold on, yeah, got him. Waylon Jones, called Killer Croc. Wanted for bank robbery and murder in Gotham. He has been held in Arkham and escaped several times. He escaped last week and has apparently decided to grace us with his presence. According to their files, he has regressed to the point that he barely has any intelligent thought and exists only to feed. Probably why there have been a rash of mutilated animal corpses across the country. I had money on aliens but I guess that is too 1990.”

“Great. I can’t move him, he doesn’t seem to feel my punches or lighting bolts for that matter. Any idea how to take him down?”

“Try phasing a hand into his heart…”

“Any ideas that don’t involve killing him?” Barry interrupted.

Cisco pulled up the files of Gotham PD and saw the last three times he was arrested.

“Okay he has been arrested three times. Batman has captured him twice. The Gotham PD isn’t exactly sure how he did it the first time. They just found him in a shark cage in front of the police station. The second time, Batman caught him in an incredibly strong steel net and left him surrounded by drying concrete.”

“Ouch.” Barry mumbled, deciding to move civilians out of the path of this monster until Cisco had an idea. “What about the third time?”

“Oh yeah. He was caught by Supergirl.”

Hearing nothing else, a frustrated Flash followed up.

“What the hell did she do, Cisco?!”

“She hit him.”

“And then?”

“Thats it. He escaped Arkham, walked into Downtown Gotham, she landed and hit him. Once. In the head. Knocked out three very sharp teeth according to the police report. Then she flew off. Hitting him isn’t working for you, huh?”

Barry rolled his eyes and stopped, taking in the guy from a distance.

“Yeah, something tells me I don’t hit as hard as she does. We are going to have to go Batman’s route. Any chance of making some sort of net that can hold him? I could lure him into a trap?”

“Yeah, I’ll get Joe to get to the wharf and find some steel mesh.”

“Great.” Barry mumbled. Mr. Waylon Jones had Barry in his crosshair and was walking slowly towards him. Getting out of his way was no problem. Stopping him, was another matter.

“Hey, big guy? Think we can talk? Can you… talk? I see what Cisco is talking about, you are missing a few teeth. The rest look really sharp though. Why don’t you come with me? I’ll go slow and we can just have a jog around town until my best bud can weld a steel fishing net together.”

Barry’s suggestion was not needed, because a chain flew into the shattered building from the outside, wrapping itself around the Killer Croc’s thick neck and flipping him to the ground. The Flash noticed it had a blade on the end that had buried itself into the metahuman’s crocodile skin.

The Flash stood still, watching a man with grey skin and red eyes, larger than the killer he had been fighting, walk in. The monster picked Killer Croc up over his head and body slammed him into the floor, causing a crater in the marble.

Three strikes from the monster’s right fist and Barry guessed Killer Croc would not be standing up out of the hole.

The Flash stood waiting, wondering what was coming next. The monster unwrapped his chain from Jones neck and pulled the blade out of his thick skin. Now that he was no longer fighting, or beating, the man croc, Barry took him in more clearly. He was grey all over, dark, long black hair and very red eyes. He had the physique of a body builder, easy to see since he was only wearing black pants, boots and a black tactical vest.

“Cisco, are you seeing this? I think we have another problem.”

“Yeah.” Cisco replied. “My recommendation is to run until we can figure out who the hell this is because I don’t have a clue. He is big, ugly, strong and has a sick ass chain. Most of the cameras I can get good angles on are destroyed. I can’t get a clean shot of his face and your chest camera keeps cutting in and out.”

“Would you tell your little slacker friend to shut the hell up?” Lobo asked. “His voice is getting on my little com in your helmet, mask, whatever that is, it needs to be quieter. The average human can’t hear it but you don’t fight the average human, do you Barry? I mean Flash.”

Barry stood his ground as the man walked up only five feet away and towered over him.

“Who are you?” he asked cautiously, ready to move in the event that very sharp blade on the end of the chain moved.

“Name’s Lobo. I’m here with a message for you.”

Barry remembered Kara saying something about a Lobo when she was talking about her transporter to the Fortress.

“Okay… whats the message?”

“Stay the hell away from Kara Danvers or I will break you in half.” Lobo told him, and Barry swore his red eyes got a bit redder.

“Uh… look, I don’t know who you are but…”

The Flash stopped talking when the monster began laughing. When he had settled down, the large alien shrugged his shoulders.

“Sorry man. I always wanted to do that, you know, give the stay away from my daughter thing, not that I think of her as a daughter. Hell no, if she would give me a chance I would wreck her. The epic… probably should keep that to myself. Batman, Big Green and her Dad already hate me. I think her Mom is a little sweet on me though, but you know how it is. Older women like bad boys. Her and Alex are my buds and I heard sweet Kara has a thing for you. I was on my way to Star City and thought I would stop by, say hi, see if you wanted to get a beer, that sort of thing. Your net plan probably would have worked but I didn’t want to wait around so I handled it. Hope you don’t mind? I was just getting bored.”

“No… no its cool. Uh, oh wow, cops are here, outside. I should probably help them take him in…”

Barry stopped talking, watching Lobo walk towards Killer Croc, lift him in the air and throw him out of the destroyed building into the street where cops surrounded him.

“I just made a citizens arrest! Take him in boys! Use some big handcuffs.” Lobo yelled out then walked back to Barry. “So they got this. Want to get a beer? You know what? Probably best you stay away from beer. You shouldn’t have it around. How about some coffee? You know a place around here that makes a mean Cafe Mocha? I prefer chocolate syrup over powder but I will take what I can get. They don’t mind giving two shots of Espresso instead of just that one cheap shot? Some people say two detracts from the chocolate but I don’t believe that. Just gotta man up, you know? Put a little hair on your chest. There is a bench by that pretty little pond just past downtown. Go get me a Mocha, syrup, no powder with two shots Espresso and I will meet you there. Get yourself a drink too. Don’t take long. Shouldn’t be a problem for you though.”

Barry stood still, watching the giant alien move with ease. He didn’t even notice Joe standing by him until the man spoke.

“What the hell was that?” Joe asked.

“I… I… I think he is a friend… of Kara’s. At least he said he was. I heard her mention a Lobo the last time we spoke but… yeah. Okay.”

Joe shook his head, as the alien turned a corner, completely oblivious to the crowd who backed away from his path but never stopped staring.

“Wow. What did he… what did he want?”

“Cafe Mocha.” Barry muttered. “Can I borrow ten? Considering what he just did to Crocodile man, I would really like to keep him happy.”

Joe handed him a ten dollar bill and shook his head again when Barry zipped off. The man greatly missed the days before metahumans and aliens. Not that Supergirl and some other metahumans hadn’t done a lot of good for the world. It just seemed the world had gotten stranger and a lot more dangerous.

Then he considered what he knew of Kara and Batman and wondered just what sort of crowd the girl next door hero ran with. He hoped Barry didn’t get hurt. There was obviously more to that girl than the world at large knew.

Barry hurried, but had to stand in line, to make sure he got the giant’s order right. Unfortunately they were out of syrup so Lobo would have to settle for powder.

Once the drinks were in hand, he moved, finding the bounty hunter exactly where he said he would be.

Barry stood in front of the bench but the man never looked at him, staring at the pond instead.

“They uh… they didn’t have syrup.”

Lobo shrugged his shoulders and took the offered cup.

“No big deal man. Couple of your months ago I killed this bounty on a desert planet. My ship was having trouble with the converter and I got pretty thirsty. Wound up drinking the dead guy’s blood. It wasn’t bad but it has nothing on coffee from this planet, you know? Have a seat man. Lets get to know each other. I don’t get to meet many celebrities.”

Not knowing what else to do, Barry sat on the end of the bench, practically touching Lobo since the alien took up so much of the bench.

Neither said anything for a moment so Barry decided it would be up to him to break the silence.

“I think we are drawing some stares.” he commented, trying his best to sound casual.

“Of course we are. You are sitting on a bench drinking coffee in a red suit. People are going to look at you, Flash. Price of fame and all that. This Mocha is pretty damn good for powdered. What about you? Don’t tell me you got one of those fruity iced coffees?”

“No!” Barry quickly denied. “Just regular coffee, black.”

“A man’s man.” Lobo told him, approving. “So Kara has a thing for you, huh? Alex told me about you a while back. I heard you were a superhero now. I’m gonna be honest, I sorta thought you would be bigger but that speed thing is pretty sweet. You ever want a job, quick payday and be back to Earth in no time, let me know. How you been holding up? Kinda met my girl and then she disappeared on you,huh?”

“Uh… yeah. I guess I’m… fine.” the Flash told him, taking a sip of coffee and noticing the crowd at the edge of the park was growing. He had an idea what the photo on the front of the Central City Picture News would be in the morning.

“Kara ever tell you how we met? I got hired by her aunt after she caught that plane on television. Was supposed to bring her in alive. So I find her easy enough. I’m thinking big deal, Kryptonian right? Tough but a little red sunlight and they are as easy to kill as kittens. You ever killed a kitten?”

“No…”

“Good. Don’t, they make a horrible sound but they do taste great.”

Barry spit out his coffee, causing Lobo to laugh.

“Man, I’m screwing with you. I would never eat a cat. One from Earth anyway. So back to my thrilling adventure. I find her in this dark warehouse and light the place up in red. I’m thinking this kid is going to be scared as hell. She is standing there in blue jeans and this cute pink hoodie, not much of a threat. Then I saw her eyes. She didn’t back down. She got mad. Wasn’t no fear there at all. I took the blade off my favorite chain, replace it with a bat. Figure I might break a few of her ribs but she would heal when her aunt put her in some yellow sunlight. Only thing is, my bat gets shot out of the air by a 6250 plasma handgun from Anawa. Then my red grenade gets taken out. I throw another and it was like little Alex was shooting skeet. Woman even shot my ear drum out. Then Kara attacked me. I gave her everything I had but it wasn’t near enough. She crushed my head with her fists and then burnt the remains off my neck.”

Barry’s eyes widened, not looking at the man but focusing on a duck and the sun setting in the distance. Finally he had to ask.

“How are you still alive?”

“I regenerate. Even my head. I know what you are thinking, how the hell can I still look this good, right? Its in the hair, man. I got some great conditioner on my ship. It would probably cause you to go bald but works great for me. Anyway the thing you got to understand is she wasn’t only mad, she was enjoying the fight. Hell, I would have followed her anywhere after that. Gotta respect a woman who can hand your ass to you, am I right?”

Barry honestly had no idea what to say at this point. He simply nodded his head, hoping it would be enough.

“Look man, I got a reason for being here and we are going to keep this to ourselves. Turn off your little ear thing, okay? This is going to be one of those sister secrets like Alex and Kara keep when they are being naughty and don’t want Mommy and Daddy to find out.”

Barry reached towards his ear and cut off his life line to Cisco, not that Cisco could do much.

“Thanks. So I know you are not a stupid man. You aren’t a ninth level intellect like me but for a human, you are pretty smart. You know Kara has some anger issues, you know she got a lot of problems. But she is a nice girl. She is a warrior. I think you could be good for her and she could be good for you. She is getting some help right now but you will see her soon. Now this is important so listen up. You listening, Flash?”

Barry nodded his head quickly.

“I been doing some snooping. I know your little slacker buddy can make breaches to other universes and I bet to places in this universe too. If Kara is around you and you guys are in a fight against a big bad, make sure he is with you, if you can. The second you see anything small and red flying towards her, catch it before it reaches her. Man, I cannot stress how important this is. Catch it, run it far away if you can because the damn thing is going to want her. Get your little slacker friend to open a breach anywhere in this universe, another universe, I don’t give a damn where. Just throw the thing in. I know you won’t always be with her and the three of you probably won’t be together, but Barry, I am not kidding. She does not need that damn red thing around her. Don’t worry about it getting on you. I know you have had some bad stuff happen to you but to get this thing, you gotta have a deep black hole inside you. It wouldn’t want you. Just do whatever you can. All I can ask.”

Barry sat a little straighter wanting to know a hell of a lot more. Red thing? What sort of red thing could be a threat to Kara? Something made of red sunlight?

“Could you tell me what it is?”

Lobo looked at the darkening sky, wondering how to explain the Guardians, the little pompous freaks and their green boy scouts. Of course things weren’t just one color anymore. Deciding it would be a bit too much to go into the history of the universe, he gave the boy an abridged version.

“People like Kara, they can get better, they can learn to manage anger, to hold it down, to channel it, but someone like her, she got a hole in her. In that hole is a lot of rage. She is a good person, too good to give someone like me the time of day. But that hole, its always going to be there. This red thing is a ring but also a weapon. A weapon she does not need, because once it is on her, it has her forever and that hole is going to become a black hole and take her over. Look out for her, keep her happy, calm her like I heard you do. If she gets that ring, she is lost.” Lobo stressed.

Taking a look behind him, the Czarnian decided to leave. “I gotta go. People are wondering why I am sitting with a freak in a red suit. No offense, I like the thing but I gotta keep up appearances. Take this phone. You ever need me, you call me. I will get it no matter where I am in the universe. I’ll be hanging around Earth for a while trying to find this red ring and watching her back. Take care, Flash.”

Barry took the phone, noting his hand was shaking a bit. He had strangely become used to Lobo’s appearance very quickly, possibly because he was more focused on what the man was telling him and this threat to Kara. A hole, a black hole? Did he mean that literally? No, he had to be talking about her problems, her… anger and other things.

“Can I ask you a question? Where is she? Nobody will tell me.”

Lobo chuckled a bit and shook his head. “Everybody got a mother hen complex when it comes to her. I’m not really big on bullshit so I will tell you. You know she got some issues. Her family put her in a rehab facility to dry out. They didn’t ask for her permission but if they hadn’t she would have been dead in a year, maybe two. She drinks… a lot. Some other stuff too. She has been going through some pretty bad withdrawals for the past four or five days. The place is in Kentucky, underground facility with a medical staff, her family and Batman. I guess you know your buddy Dr. Snow is there. Is she single? Nevermind, not the time. Anyway, give it a few days. She is going to look and feel like hell right now but I bet she will want to see you soon. I even bet she will call you before you know it. When she does, give me a holler and I will send you coordinates. She is going to need you, man. I’m counting on you too. Be careful out there, Flash. A lot of weirdos walking around. Guys like us aren’t safe anywhere.”

The Block

Kara opened her eyes, feeling very tired, almost like her muscles were filled with concrete. She could barely raise her arm. She was happy to see it was not strapped down, so that was something. She wasn’t sure of everything that had happened but she knew she wasn’t shaking, and she no longer felt bites all over her body. The girl remembered the nightmares, some of the people who were dead that she could have sworn were there. The blonde had no idea how many days she had been in the room, but her entire body ached. The red tint above told her why. She was weak, powerless.

Kara noted she also had an IV attached to a fluid bag, in her right hand. She supposed they were still drugging her.

“Good morning, Blondie.”

The girl turned her head to the left and saw her older sister. Alex looked like Kara felt, as if she hadn’t slept in days. She also had a huge bruise on her cheek. Behind Alex, against the wall, her mother and father were in chairs.

“How long am I going to be kept locked up?” she asked, her voice scratchy and a bit slurred but still clear enough.

Alex took a deep breath.

“When you were brought in, your body was scanned. You had damage to your liver, the beginnings of cirrhosis. Basically scar tissue had already formed. We checked you without red sunlight. You were doing that to yourself even with your powers. The weight loss was from your cells being unable to fully metabolize the yellow sun rays to their full potential. That is more likely due to the drugs you were using. We decided it would be best to treat those conditions while you were depowered so the dosage of medications would be easier to handle. I think if you can stop the drinking and drug use your body can eventually repair itself. At the rate you were going, if you did have a red crystal implanted in you at some point your body would give out on you in probably six months to a year. Shay would like to continue the drug regiment for another few days and then… we have ben giving you anti anxiety medication and anti psychotics. Eventually we want to start you on anti depressants and find the right combo for you, to help with the depression, the anxiety, nightmares…”

“How long am I going to be locked up?” Kara asked again.

Alex dropped her head.

“You aren’t. We wanted you to get dry. We didn’t even know about the drug use. I’m not talking about that heroin either. I am talking about alien drugs. Orange powder you snorted? I won’t ask you if there were others because I wouldn’t believe you if you said no. Right now, you have some meds going through you that are making you feel sluggish. They are at a low dosage, only a fraction of a percent that you would need with your powers. If you go up top I have no doubt the medication would wear off quickly. If that is what you want, I will take out the IV and walk you out of here.”

“I do.” Kara told her immediately.

“Just do Clark one favor. If you don’t get help, don’t want to try, stay away from him. Call him on the phone but don’t let him see you. It isn’t fair to him. He shouldn’t have to see you kill yourself. It isn’t right. He loves you. We all do. You are killing yourself. Instead of using a straight razor you are doing it slowly but it is suicide all the same.”

Kara stared at her sister, feeling a wide range of emotions. Shock, anger, guilt, sadness, shame. She shook her head, not wanting to reflect on those at the moment.

“You all had no right to do this. You cannot justify this! You are going to tell me I can’t see Clark if I don’t do what you say? What the hell gives you the right?!”

Jeremiah stood up and walked close to her bed.

“We don’t have the right and Alex asked you if you would stay away, She didn’t tell you that you had no choice. We can’t stop you, we wouldn’t. We just ask that if you are determined to kill yourself to not hurt him by making him watch. We will always be there for you, but he shouldn’t see you like this. You know that, Kara. It hurts us so much and you know how sensitive he is.”

Kara stared to the right, not wanting to look at any of them. Now that she was no longer shaking, she remembered everything leading up to being brought here. When the tremors had gotten bad and she was scared the most she called for Alex, like she always had.

Finally after not speaking for over a minute she asked what was next if she stayed.

Eliza took her hand, and Kara did not pull away but she also didn’t look at the woman.

“We have specialized counselors, men and women who can keep secrets and if they can’t, J’onn can make them forget or put a mental block in place preventing them from speaking about you to outsiders just like he has done to the DEO agents. You start talking to them, really talking, not lying or saying whatever they want to hear. We start working on medications while you have your powers so we can determine the right combinations and dosages for when you are under either sunlight, red or yellow. There are going to be side effects. Some of them are avoidable and treatable and some aren’t. We have to decide which are which. You are going to have to work with a substance abuse counselor, stay clean. It is not going to be an overnight process. It could take a couple months before you can function on the meds.”

Kara looked over at her in disbelief.

“Do you know how many kids expect to see me every week? Some of them are in bad shape. They are dying! If I just disappear… they will think I abandoned them! I can’t do that! You know the last time I was placed on house arrest, by the end of the first month crime had risen across the nation by 22%. I can’t just disappear for a couple months!”

“What are those kids going to think when you disappear forever because you died?” Alex asked. “You were taking those drugs and drinking because they affected you. If you were getting the highs then you were also getting the damage they bring. J’onn is resigning from the DEO and handing it over to Webb. He will sneak around as an agent occasionally to make sure the mental blocks are still in place and screen outsiders but he is going to retire. That is going to give him a lot of time to fly around and be you. As long as you are seen, criminals will stay down. Other people, people like the Flash, can fight evil for a while. It isn’t always on you, Kara.”

Kara laughed bitterly. “J’onn may be able to look like me but he isn’t me. He doesn’t seem like he would be good with kids. He doesn’t… it wouldn’t work.”

“Yes it will.” Alex insisted. “He can read their minds, know everything about your interactions with them. It will work and he can slowly back off. I know you love to do it but no one can see dying children every day of the week with everything else you see, Kara. It is too much. Even you have your limits. You need a break, some time to focus on yourself, instead of saving every life on the planet, and feeling guilty about the ones you can’t save.”

“I have to try.” Kara insisted.

“No you don’t!” Alex yelled,surprising them all. “What happened to Krypton had nothing to do with you. You are Kara Danvers, not Kara Zor El! You think you are paying some penance for the lives that were lost but you aren’t. The only one who blames you for what happened there is you! I am sick of it! Everyone who dies on Earth is not on you! Death happens, Kara! You have always said you wanted to grow old and die because it was a natural part of life. I got news for you. It is tragic but sometimes, children are taken away by disease, accidents, murder. Teenagers, middle aged, old men and women, they die. It happens everyday and as much as you say you don’t like the cults that worship you, at some point you decided that every death was on you. You are not a god. You are going to find that out very soon if you don’t stop killing yourself.”

Kara tried to pull herself up to a sitting position but had a difficult time. Jeremiah helped her and as angry as she felt at the moment, she was in no position to turn him down.

“I feel horrible. Do any of you? Do any of you feel horrible?”

None of the three said anything at first, not knowing how to answer.

“No.” Alex finally told her. “You want me to say I feel guilty about bringing you here. The only thing I feel guilty about is not doing it sooner, especially after finding out about the cutting, the drug use, the sheer toxicity of the alcohol you were drinking. It wasn’t easy. I realize when you walk out of here, you may never speak to me, to any of us again. You might grab Clark and fly off and we would never find you. We can’t stop you. But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t try to save you. Its what we have always done for each other. I wish it had happened differently but I don’t feel horrible. I mean physically I feel horrible. But that isn’t what you are talking about, is it?”

Kara closed her eyes, listening to everything around her. She felt EKG leads on her chest but there were no wires attached. Even without super hearing she could tell where she was by the sounds around her. There were no windows in the room but she should have heard something, birds, traffic, wind outside.

“I’m underground.” she decided.

“Yep.” Alex confirmed.

“I want to go up top. I want to feel the sunlight. I don’t want these drugs in me. I need to think.”

The three looked at each other and Alex shrugged. Eliza brought in a wheel chair and Jeremiah helped her after Alex had unhooked the IV from the pole. The older sister asked her parents to remain here while she pushed Kara towards the elevator. Kara said nothing, wondering if it was a trick or if Alex actually planned to let her in the sunlight.

The elevator opened into a wooden cabin. It wasn’t large, obviously a shell to hide what was underneath. There were windows though. Alex pushed Kara towards one and she felt the rays of the sun on her breaking through the many trees surrounding them.

“Where are we?”

“Kentucky, about fifty miles from the nearest city.”

Feeling stronger by the second, Kara stood up from the wheelchair, her legs no longer weak. She looked at her sister closely.

“This is it? You are just letting me go?”

Alex shook her head. “I want you to live. Keeping you down there may keep you alive but you wouldn’t be living. We wanted you to be sober, so maybe you could make a good choice. You can go back to your old life. I will move out and you can kill yourself in peace, drink as much as you want. You will die, but if that is what you want, I can’t stop you. I got you this far. The rest is up to you.”

Kara opened the door and walked out, enjoying the feeling of fresh air on her face and the overhead sun, shining directly on her. She had a desire to take to the sky, to feel free. The last four, five days had been a living hell and they were still very fresh in her mind.

“I don’t know any other way to live.” she admitted quietly to Alex, knowing the girl was behind her.

“Maybe we could find a new way together. It is possible, Kara. I know you can be happy. I have seen you happy before. It just never lasts. This time we can make it last. Just our family, figuring out how to help you be happy. No Supergirl, no bad guys, no DEO, no news, or internet, just us focusing on us. We can do this. I want to do this.”

“What if we can’t? What if I can’t? I have lied for so long I’m not even sure what the truth is anymore, Alex.”

Alex placed her hand on Kara’s shoulder, gripping it tightly.

“So we figure out the truth. We have never ran from a fight. No matter what, we have always found a way. We can have a life, start fresh. You can be happy, we both can. Maybe we might even meet some people who deserve us. I know a man who would do anything in the world to make you smile. One day, maybe if you let yourself, you can love and accept that someone could love you.”

Kara shook her head.

“After what he learned, he will probably never speak to me again. Him and Queen are probably comparing notes right now on how psychotic I actually am.”

“You are not psychotic. You can be intense, especially when it comes to others, but you are not psychotic. A psycho wouldn’t care about being a psycho. Besides he was very worried about you. He asked that I text him when you were okay. I never told him where I was taking you but I know he figured out what it must have involved. He didn’t care. He is worried about you. One weekend, a few months of texting, a six year separation and meeting him again, he is devoted to you. You know he hung out with Clark a couple days ago on the beach? Played video games with him too. Jessica told me. Does that sound like a guy running away? You could have something real Kara. But its going to take work. You can have love in your life, not just a guy you screw every now and then to forget about the pain.”

Kara walked around a bit, looking at the dirt, the grass, the tall trees surrounding the cabin. She looked at the blue sky, and once again, yearned to be in it, even if she was wearing a hospital gown tied in the back.

The girl thought about everything, every option she had. They wouldn’t really keep her from Clark, but they would ask her to stay away when she was drunk or high and when wasn’t she? She knew it could be so easy. Kara could be gone, steal some clothes from someone, take off to a bar, raid the place of liquor, take a dealers supply and never be seen again. She could even quit being Supergirl. There were thousands of small deserted islands she knew of in the Pacific Ocean. While small they could serve her needs. She could drink and forget and not have to worry about anything. She wouldn’t worry about finding love, developing actual relationships, having to face herself, what she had become, who she was. She wouldn’t have to work to be the person she wanted to be, her family wanted her to be.

Turning back to her sister she smiled a bit and put her hand over her eyes.

“You want to hide, huh?” Alex told her, remembering their first communications. “What about eating?” she followed, rubbing her stomach and motioning to her mouth, chewing.

Kara laughed, remembering those days. The fear, the absolute fear she felt every moment, wondering where she would find food for Clark next. At least until she met Alex. She would never forget a hot, sweaty and exhausted Alex walking back into the cave with all those bags of groceries and camping supplies. How the skinny kid got them from the store that far into the woods she would never understand. That was her sister. She did things by sheer force of will.

Kara looked above and smiled, pointing to a bird.

“Pretty huh?” she asked, playfully.

“Yeah, its pretty.” Alex told her. “Remember not to eat the bananas with the peel on. There are no magazines in the bathrooms here.”

Kara took a deep breath.

“You really think he isn’t afraid of me? I was drunk, I made a fool of myself. I told him things I never should have.”

Alex took her phone out of her back pocket.

“Call him. Don’t be afraid. Decided what you want to do. I’ll be inside the cabin. If you want to do this, come inside and we can go back downstairs. If you don’t, I will still love you. I will always love you. Even if you make me watch you kill yourself, I am always going to love you. Mom and Dad will too. Clark will always love you. No matter what you decide, please think it through. We can do this. We sent a Coluan to the Phantom Zone, killed a White Martian, a horde of Khund and Vrang mercenaries and took out a pretty bad Kryptonian then blew up a giant space ship. This is going to be harder but we can do it. Just think about it. I hope to see you inside.”

Alex walked inside and Kara decided to sit on the soft grass, not caring that she was wearing a gown. There was no one else above ground. Now that she was up here, she could hear everyone moving below her. The girl almost x rayed the place to see how deep it ran but decided not to. It really didn’t matter. It was just another cave. The question she had to figure out is if she wanted to follow Alex out of a cave again, or take to the sky and hide among the clouds.

Taking a deep breath, she opened up Alex’s contacts and found Barry Allen’s number. Kara gently pushed the call button and half hoped he didn’t pick up.

So of course he did.

“Alex? Is she okay?”

He sounded worried, Even a bit scared. How much would she put him through if he was already worried and didn’t know anything about her really.

“Hey Barry.”

“Kara! Are you okay? Alex or your robot sent me a text saying you were safe but…”

“I was drugged and taken to an underground laboratory where I went through I don’t know how many days of withdrawals. I’m not even sure how long I was out. The last few days have been kind of hazy. Listen, I want to apologize…”

“Don’t. Just don’t, Kara. I just want you to be okay. Are you?”

Kara thought of her answer carefully. It would be so easy to tell him she would be fine, that everything was okay. She could even tell him she had a bit too much to drink and most of what she said that night wasn’t true.

It would be so easy to lie. Kara had been doing it for a long time. Jeremiah used to tell her that he could always tell when she was lying or holding back but as Kara got older she was certain he couldn’t. She had become too good of a liar. She could make anyone believe anything. She even figured out how to lead her therapist where she wanted to go, giving a little here, a little there to make her seem like she was opening up but never really telling the dark secrets she kept.

Sure her family knew that she drank. They didn’t know that it made her feel sluggish in fights but if she snorted a line before she fought the high woke her up, kept her sharp. The blonde used different dealers across the US so no alien would know exactly how much she used.

“No, I’m not.” Kara told him, deciding on the truth. “I haven’t been for a very long time. I want to be, but I don’t know if I can. I’m sitting here and don’t know what to do. Everything in me says if I do what needs to be done, it is going to be so hard. I want to fly away and forget about everything but no matter where I am, space, the South Pole, the desert, I carry it with me everywhere. I told you I wasn’t a good person but I wish I was. I want to be. I just don’t know what to do.”

Kara heard nothing on the other end and wondered if she had finally ran him off.

“What do you think is the right thing? I may not know a lot about you and I want to know everything one day, if you ever want to tell me. But I do know from watching you that you try and do the right thing. If someone you loved were in your position, what would you want them to do? If it was Alex, what would you want her to do?”

Kara hadn’t thought of that. If Alex had her problems, what would Kara do? Was there anything she wouldn’t do?

“I… guess I would want her to do whatever it took to feel better.”

“I guess that is your answer.”

Kara laughed softly. He did have a straight forward way of looking at the world.

“If I do this, I am going to be away from everything for a while. You might see me flying around on TV but it wouldn’t be me. I don’t think I will be able to meet your foster father next… I don’t even know what day it is.”

“Yeah, I figured. No matter what, or who you meet or what we do, no matter what you decide, I’m going to be here. I told you six years ago and I am telling you again that you aren’t holding me back from anything. I can wait. If you need a friend, I can be a friend. I’ll even broaden your mind. Ever seen Firefly?”

Kara thought about it and wondered what the hell he was talking about.

“I have no idea what a Firefly is besides the insect.”

“Best Sci Fi show ever. I can’t believe you have never heard of it. What kind of self respecting nerd are you?”

“I have a feeling I am going to be drugged out of my mind for a while but maybe after everything is settled, you could bring it to wherever I am and we can watch it. How many seasons are there?”

“Only one and a follow up movie.”

“Only one?”

“Fox executives are idiots. Look, just get better. Do what you need to do to be happy. Pretend it is Alex in your situation and do what you would want her to do. I’ll be here. I’ll be your friend and if you ever need anything else, we can give that a try maybe. Who knows what the future can hold? I’ve never managed to run there yet and I don’t really want to. Who knows what kind of grief Clark would give me then.”

“Okay. Thanks. Just for being you and not being freaked out by me. I know I must have scared you at my apartment. I acted like a maniac which I guess I kind of was at the moment.”

“Yeah, a little nuts but thats part of your charm. I was scared for you. I don’t want to be again. Whatever you decide, if you want my opinion, ironically I would say don’t run. I’ve never seen Kara Danvers run from a fight.”

“Thanks.” she told him, standing up. “I’ll call you in a couple days if that is okay. Like I said, I have a feeling I may not be lucid but I will try okay?”

“I know. If you need me, I’ll be there in a…”

“Don’t Barry.” Kara told him, cutting that off with a laugh. “We are big enough nerds already.”

Kara ended the call and stared at the phone in her hand for a moment, then back at the sky. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feel of rays on her face. She used to hate the feel of sun rays because they reminded her of what a freak she was. She enjoyed the feeling red rays gave her, the feel of normalcy. But the older she got and the more guarded she became, Kara hated feeling vulnerable. It was easier to be a machine, only making herself weak at certain times in private.

Taking a deep breath, she walked back into the cabin.

Alex looked hopeful, her wringing her own hands but glad to see her sister hadn’t flown off.

“So what happens?” Kara asked.

“You are really going to do this? No lies, no half truths?”

“Yes.”

“You swear?” Alex asked, large tears streaming down her face.

“Yeah, I swear. I’m scared. I’m really, really scared and for me thats an amazing feat considering I should be used to fear by now, but I will do this.”

“Okay.” Alex told her, letting out a deep breath she had been holding forever it seemed. “We are going to start with some medications, anti depressants, sedatives at night to help you sleep. The goal is to make you feel better, sleep better, cut down on the anxiety you feel. You are also still going to have strong cravings…”

“I would kill for a shot of whiskey right now… or a line.” Kara admitted. “I know about cravings. My gut is still turning.”

Alex nodded her head. “You got through the worst of it but you are still going to feel off a bit at times, may even hallucinate a few times over the next week or so. You just have to tell us and we can talk you through it, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“The meds won’t be right, at least not right away. They are safe, but the dosages will have to be adjusted. None of us want you to be in a fog all the time. We were going to have two dosages, one for when you are powered and another for days you don’t have your powers but Caitlin Snow thinks she has figured out a way for the drugs to work in sync with your cells so they can actually increase or decrease in strength in regard to the solar radiation in your body. That way you won’t have to change doses if you want to lose the powers for a while. Shay has been working with her on it but Caitlin really is a genius.”

“Caitlin Snow?” Kara asked. “What the hell is she doing here? She saw me… oh no…”

“Kara, relax. She has been a huge help. She won’t tell anyone anything, not even Barry, I swear. She has been sitting with me at nights next to your bed. She is really cool. Just don’t panic, okay? She will never say a word about what she saw. She is a doctor, your doctor.”

Kara shook off her momentary embarrassment. Considering everything Barry had seen and heard already from herself she doubted anything Caitlin told him would make a difference.

“What else is going to happen?” Kara asked, getting back to the previous conversation.

“You are going to meet with a couple different therapists who deal in different areas. Substance abuse, PTSD, Anxiety disorders, stuff like that. You are going to have to be very honest. You can’t lie.”

Kara nodded her head, expecting as much.

“Okay then. I guess we should start. I’m scared, Alex.”

Alex took her hand.

“So am I, but when has that stopped us before?”

“I know.” Kara agreed. “When we get below, I need to talk to Clark. I want to see him… after I have had a shower. Just in case these meds make me a little crazy for a while, I want to see him first. I need to see him.”

Alex nodded her head.

“He will be here in the morning, promise. Want Barry to bring him? Tomorrow is Saturday.”

Kara was surprised. She had been here a week?

“I don’t know if he would be up to that. I’m not sure if I want him to see me in a hole in the ground.”

“You need friends, besides the head of the League of Assassins, I mean. He seems like he could be a good friend.” Alex hinted. She hadn’t listened to the conversation but she had watched Kara and saw her laugh twice in five minutes, more laughter than Alex had seen in a long time.

“Okay. I need to check in with…”

“No. This doesn’t work unless we cut all the other crap out. No missions, no hero stuff. Its just about us, about you. She is a hot… I mean a grown female assassin and can take care of herself. We aren’t superheroes and vigilantes. We are just the Danvers. Thats all we are going to be for a while, okay?”

“Yeah, got it. By the way, who has Streaky?”

Alex thought about it.

“I really have no idea anymore. She is either in a den of assassins or hanging out in the Batcave.”

“Either way, you should probably bring her to me. She doesn’t sleep well unless she is in my hair. I want my brother and cat.”

“Anything else?”

“No.” Kara told her. Alex placed her hand on the pad next to the elevator and it opened, taking them both down.

When it opened up Eliza and Jeremiah were standing there. Kara wanted to scream, wanted to shout about being kidnapped. She could never yell at Alex or stay mad at her for that matter, but she often had better success with her parents. Instead of yelling she began crying and fell into their arms.