Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Complicated

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 07:

BPOV

Eating breakfast with another man was a strange experience. Another thing that was strange was how comfortable I was with Paul.

“So what do you study?”

I was kinda lost in looking at him. The question caught me by surprise.

“Huh” Was my brilliant reply.

“What are you studying? In College?”

“Oh, uh…”

“Bella we aren’t going to get to know each other if you can’t answer questions.” He said smiling at me. I kept waiting for that condescneding grin he gives me at times but to his credit he didn’t bring it out.

“I am studying Conservation Biology.”

“Why?”

“Because I like it.”

“No I mean what do you want to do with it?”

“I had thought I would use Charlie’s connections to get me a job with the forest service around here.”

“Really?”

“Yes really, why?” I asked slightly annoyed.

“You just never struck me as much of a hiker. Don’t forestry people have to hike a lot?”

“Thats true, but I love the natural beauty around here. I want to make sure it stays that way. Or at least try. So if I have to be less clumsy that is what I am going to do.”

“That’s great. I’m impressed.”

“What is so great about it that impresses you? It’s just a major.”

“What’s great is that you love something but your not afraid to get hurt doing it. It’s admirable. It shows courage.”

“So does attacking vampires. I guess I’m a little impressed with you too.”

“Don’t be. I didn’t choose this.” He had a sad look on his face.

“Is it all bad?”

He sighed. “No, I don’t suppose it is all bad. I mean the freedom of running through the forest, the feeling of kiling an evil thing intent on killing others. Thats cool I suppose. But the bad outwieghs the good. At least it has until lately.”

“Tell me the bad.”

“I don’t have a life. I can’t go to college. College was never a big deal to me but now that I can’t go, all of a sudden I’m angry about it. I guess you don’t know what you got until it’s gone. I can’t hold a regular job because I may have to leave at anytime. Which means I’m broke for the most part. I mean I don’t need a lot but it would be nice to be building towards something, a future instead of just surviving. And I am lonely. I used to bury the loneliness in alcohol. I can’t do that anymore because I can’t get drunk due to my werewolf metabolism. So I spend a lot of time alone staring at the walls feeling sorry for myself. Not a productive use of my time. And as much as I hate being in a pack if it wasn’t for those guys I wouldn’t have a family.”

“What happened to you parents?” I whispered. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know but I had too.

“I normally don’t talk about this. But I want you to know everything. My mother drank herself to death when I was 5. My father raised me after that. He finally drank himself to death when I was 12. It was the greatest day of my life.”

“Why?” I knew I wasn’t going to like this. The idea of someone hurting him was breaking my heart.

“He beat the hell out of me. His fists I could have taken but the belt. The belt was the worst. I swear when I have kids they are going to be the most spoiled rotten kids on earth because I will never so much as raise my voice at them.”

“What… what happened after your father died?”

“My grandmother raised me after that. She moved into the house my father owned. It was a crappy house. Still is. But she made it a home. She was good to me. But I put her through hell. I was determined that I would fight and drink and fuck more than my father ever did. I thought this would make me better than him. Show him he didn’t break me. I was right. He didn’t. He made me exactly like him. My grandmother died of a heart attack a week before I phased for the first time. Sam has done a lot for me. He has been the brother and father I never had. But still. I still feel the ghost of that old bastard right over my shoulder telling me I’m not good enough. That I’m just like him.”

Oh my God. I had no idea it was this bad. Then why would I? It would certainly explain some of his behavior. The need to control everything. He has been controlled his whole life by people who have hurt him.

“How’s your eggs?”

“What?” Where did that come from.

“Your eggs? Mine are kinda runny.”

“No, they are fine.”

“Good. So tell me about you childhood. I want to know about your father. All I know is he is very thorough in his pat down searches. Then we are going to the beach.”

“The beach?”

“Well not exactly the beach. The cliffs near the beach.”

“Why?

“We are going to jump off. Cliff diving. You still got that blue bikini right?” He asked raising an eyebrow at me.

Two hours later I was standing at a cliff face looking down below into a big fucking ocean.

“Paul I don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t heal as easily as you do.”

“Bella look at me.”

I turned and my eyes went directly to his. I could get lost in those eyes.

“Do you honestly believe in your heart I would ever let you get hurt?”

I shook my head no. He opened his arms.

“We jump together.” I nodded my head and stepped into his arms. I was wearing my blue bikini and the feeling of my skin on his skin was electric. I never wanted to move.

“Hold on tight and don’t let go.” He whispered into my ear. I nodded my head and the next thing I knew I was flying through the air.

Leah POV

“Oh my God. Is that your house? I suddenly felt very self conscious. We were driving a rental car down a dirt road running through a huge ranch. We had passed the electric gate five minutes ago. Suddenly a three story house appeared on top of the hill. It was gorgeous. Matt laughed.

“No that is defintely not my house. See that log cabin on top of that hill?”

I saw a cute log cabin. It was larger than a hunting lodge. But not much larger. It was nice. It was about the size of my home.

“Yes.”

“Thats where I grew up. My father has run this ranch my whole life. It belongs to a doctor who visits it about twice a year to get back in touch with nature. As you can see his home is a little bigger than a tent. It sits vacant most of the year. The cattle, horses and wild game that are bred here pretty much pay for this place thanks to my Dad. We got to live in that log cabin for free my whole life. It’s a pretty good deal. My dad gets to be a cowboy and get paid for it and Mom gets to stay at home and, and… well I’m not exactly sure what she does but she volunteers a lot. She volunteers at the school, church…”

“Church?”

“Yeah, we are a Catholic family.”

“You’re a Catholic?”

“Yep.”

“But I guess… I’m just surprised. I mean you drink and curse sometimes and you never talked about it…”

“I never said I was a good Catholic, Leah.” He said smiling at me.

“I hate to ask this but I want to know what I am getting into. Does your mom like Bella a lot?”

He had a weird look on his face. “She only met her once but yeah they got along great. You’re not going to spend this trip comparining yourself to Bella are you Leah? You are two different people.”

“I know. Believe me I know. But I used to be a lot like her. Happy, loving. Believe it or not. But then Sam broke my heart and I let it break me. I give Bella credit. She never let a man break her. She is a lot stronger than I am.”

“Being strong doesn’t mean you never get hurt Leah. Some hurts are harder to get up from than others. But it doesn’t mean you are weak. Now relax. Momma’s gonna love you. Besides we are just friends remember?” He smiled.

“For right now. Make no mistake Matt. I don’t hate Bella. I admire the hell out of her to be honest. I’ve been jealous of her but I want you. I know why I would have fallen in love with you, even without the imprint. I know why it pointed us in this direction.”

“I think I do too Leah. But let’s take it easy. We have all the time in the world.”

“No, we have three weeks, maybe. Then I have to let you go.” I reminded him sadly.

“Leah, you have seen how Bella looked at Paul. You see how they are around each other. I’m not stupid. You think she is going to want me when I get back? I knew when I left she was not going to come back to me.”

“You have a lot more in common with her than Paul does. You have a future. Me and Paul… we don’t have anything.”

“And if you really knew Bella or me, you would know none of that matters to either of us. Besides from what I can tell, you do have something. A great amount of self pity you need to get out of your system. Besides, like I said, I’m not stupid. I know what is going on between us. I can feel the imprint as strong as you can. We won’t be able to fight it for long. Neither will Bella or Paul. I am slowly coming to understand that. And maybe I don’t want to fight it. I guess we will see won’t we?” He smiled at me and I felt hope in my heart. I into his beautiful hazel eyes He was right. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it was time for me to heal and enjoy my life instead of being angry about it all the time.

We pulled into a driveway and a beautiful dark haired tall lady walked out. We looked to be the same height. Around 5’9 or 5′ looked in her mid forties. She was in shape. That much was clear. She had a strange look on her face and was holding her hands behind her back. Matt parked and got out of the car.

“Matt? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Bella’s dad this summer. And what the hell are you doing in that Japanese piece of shit car?”

“Well Momma, this Japanese piece of shit was all the rental agency had at the airport. Bella and I decided to take a break and I wanted to surprise you and Dad so could you please put up the damn guns before you scare the hell out of my friend Leah here?”

She smiled at me as I got out of the car. She brought her hands from behind her and I was a little surprised to see her have hand guns in both her hands. She set them on the front porch table.

“Sorry about that darlin. We don’t get strangers out here much so when we see a strange car it tends to make me a bit cautious. So who is this Matt?”

“Leah is a friend of Bella’s. She decided she needed a break from Washington and I offered to bring her with me, since she has never been out of Washington.”

“If that right? Well welcome to New Braunsfel, Texas.” A tall lean dark haired man in his late forties walked around the side of the house. He looked like an older version of Matt.

“Dad.” Matt nodded his head. The man nodded back to him. “Son.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds without saying anything. Just looking into each other’s eyes. Not smiling. I wonder if there was some tension between the two.

“You gonna stand there forever or hug your momma and come give me a hug?” He finally said smiling.

Matt smiled and ran to his mom picking her up in his arms and swinging her around while she laughed. His father walked up to them and hugged him when he put down his mom.

“Damn I missed you son.”

“I missed you too Dad.” I couldn’t believe the love I saw radiating off these three. I suddenly felt like and intruder. And I missed my dad. Matt’s mom and dad turned to look at me. His mom walked up and I tensed. Then she pulled me into a hug. I was kinda shocked so I hugged her back, not knowing what else to do.

“Welcome to our home sweetie. Any friend of Matt’s is family here. Since you two are just “friends”… she said looking back at Matt..” I guess you will need your own room. Problem is the only other bedroom is Matt’s. Guess you’ll be sleeping on the couch, Matt.” she turned smirking at him.

“Leah you came just in time. I was about to put some pork ribs on the grill and some polish sausage and baked beans. Momma here is gonna make some potato salad. You like barbecue?” His father asked.

“I guess. I don’t really…”

“Oh I know sweetie. When we fly out there to see Matt play sometimes we search for a good barbecue place. We have yet to find one. You’re gonna love this. Matt! You and Ben get Leah’s bags to you room. I’m gonna show her where everything is in the kitchen so she can get a drink or whatever when she wants it around and you aren’t around to get it for her.”

“Yes ma’am.” Matt and his father, I guess Ben, grabbed my two bags from the trunk and took them inside.

“Now sweetie, my name is Debbie and I better never hear you call me Mrs Barker okay? Remember I’m packing heat.”

I had to laugh a little. God this woman was a tornado of warmth and energy.

“Okay Mom, her bags are set up.”

“Well come on sweetie. Let me show you around your home away from home.”

She walked me into Matt’s room and my breath caught in my throat.

“Yeah they have always been his obsession. We always thought it was strange since we don’t have a lot of them around here, any really. But ever since he saw a National Geographic magazine with them in it when he was a kid the boy has been obsessed.”

I looked around his small room and couldn’t believe my eyes. Wolves were everywhere. Framed posters were on his wall of wolves. He had a small wolf statue on his bedside table. His curtains had wolf designs on them.

“He never mentioned this to you I’m gathering by the look on your face. Don’t let it scare you honey. He’s a sweet boy even if he is a little strange.” She winked at me and smiled.

“I… I guess I just thought he would have football trophies and stuff.”

“Nope. He would never let us hang his awards and trophies. I got them in a box in the attic. He has three state championship rings I keep in my jewelry box. Stuff like that never mattered much to Matt.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No. I’m proud. But like his daddy taught him. Trophies and awards don’t mean anything if the man getting them is worthless. And he is defintely not worthless. Just like his daddy.”

I could hear the pride in her voice. And I knew it had nothing to do with how many championships he won.

“I have to say it is good to meet you. You are beautiful. I had wondered when you would come around. Didn’t think it would be this soon though.”

“We uhm, are just friends. I met him through Bella.”

“Sure you are sweetie.” she said winking at me. “You relax. I know it has been a long trip. I’m gonna go catch up with my boy.

I was too tired to lay down but I needed a moment from the shock of meeting my imprint’s parents and the reception I got.

I sat on the bed. The house was small and with my hearing I could hear everything. I knew I shouldn’t listen but I couldn’t help it.

“So you finally brought the one home son. I figured you wouldn’t meet her for a couple more years but I have to say I am happy. I thought you were going to bring some bleached blonde bimbo with you.” his mother told him. She sounded happy.

“What are you talking about? Bella wasn’t like that.”

“I wasn’t talking about Bella. I’m talking about the one.”

“I thought you liked Bella, Mom.”

“I love Bella to death. She is the sweetest girl.” Great. Just what I needed to hear.

“Then why are you saying Leah is the one? I told you we were just friends.”

“Bullshit! I have seen the way you were looking at her. Don’t lie to me boy! You’ve never been good at it.” His dad told him. I guess he was in on this conversation too.

“So you just met her and have decided that she is better for me than Bella huh?” Matt asked. I wish I could see his face right now.

“No. Bella is a lovely girl and I think you two will be friends for life. But baby, Bella and you are exactly the same. You are identical almost. I love that girl to death and I know you do to. And if you and Bella ever get your heads out of your asses you will realize ya’ll could be the best friends either of you will ever have. But sweetie I don’t care how much ya’ll made out on the back porch. Ya’ll never looked at each other with passion. Not the kind of passion that says you found your other half. Neither of you did. You never looked at her the way I look at your Daddy. And she didn’t look at you like that either. You were like best friends playing at house.”

“So what makes you think Leah is the one? Aren’t you supposed to be telling me to spread my wings and don’t get tied down?” Matt asked. He didn’t sound outraged. He sounded like he really wanted to know his mom’s opinion.

“No, you’re screwed if you think you are ever gonna spread your wings with other women, son.” His dad said.

“You’ve known her less than five minutes.”

“And I needed less than a second to see how you two look at each other. That’s the look I give your dad. She’s the one. And I couldn’t be happier. She seems like a lovely lady and now I don’t have to worry about some cheerleader giving you the clap.”

“MOM!”

“What? It’s a legitimate worry for a mother.”

“And how can you be sure about this?”

“Some things a mother knows Matty.”

BPOV

Oh my God this was so fun. The wind blowing past my body. The feeling between my legs. The speed.

“How fast are we going?” I yelled at Paul over his shoulders. We were riding his bike. I was riding, he was driving.

“About 90. You want me to slow down?” He yelled back.

I couldn’t stop laughing. I held on to him tighter.

“Not a chance!”

We had been riding for about an hour. We had hit every back road between La Push and Forks.

“Where are we going?” I screamed.

“Where do you want to go?”

I didn’t know. We couldn’t ride forever I suppose.

“Take me to your house.” I yelled.

“Okay.” Ten minutes later we pulled up to his house. It was small. Non descript ironically would be the best way to describe it.

He turned and smiled at me. He unbuckled the helmet under my chin and lifted the helmet gently.

“Oh my God that was crazy.”

“You enjoy it?”

“Yes!”

“Good. I’ll drive you 24/7 to see you smile like that.” I blushed a little at that.

“Listen Bella. My house isn’t much. I mean…”

I put my hand on his cheek. I hated seeing him so unsure of himself.

“It’s your’s. I will love it.” He nodded his head and I got off the bike. My legs almost gave out and he caught me.

“Yeah its a little weird when you first get off after a long ride.”

“I know the vibration between my legs was dri…” I realized what I was about to say and shut the hell up. Judging by the look on his face I didn’t shut up fast enough.

He reached for my hand and I let him take it.

We walked in and I was surprised. There was nothing here. A couch, a recliner and a desk.

“Uh, where is your television?”

“Don’t have one. If there is something I realy want to watch I go to Sam’s. Not that there is ever much I want to watch. You like TV?”

“No I prefer to read. Usually if the TV is on it means some sporting event is on. And I really could care less.”

“Kinda strange seeing as how your boyfr… Matt is a football star.”

“It’s easy to forget Matt plays football sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he acts like he could care less. I don’t think he really enjoys the game that much. But that’s his business I suppose.”

“Hmmm. I guess maybe I judged him wrong.”

“I think maybe we all judged each other wrong.” I stared at him for a few seconds. He really was beautiful. I hated to admit it but I never felt the passion for Matt that I felt for him. But, is that all that mattered? Passion? Apparently it is a huge part of it judging by the way I react to Paul. A small part of me wondered what Matt and Leah were doing. But to my shame it was a very small part. It was like when I was around Paul all I could think about was him. But isn’t that what I felt for Edward? No. Not like this. As much as I loved Edward a part of me always held back. I don’t know if subconciusly I was afraid or if I thought I wasn’t good enough or equal to him. I mean looking back on it he wasn’t really that great. Pretty? Damn straight he was. But nothing compared to this dark haired tan god next to me.

“So lets talk.”

That was surprising.

“Wow. I figured you would be spending every second seducing me and I would spend every second fighting you off.”

“You don’t want to fight me off.” He said smirking at me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh really?”

“Yeah really. And in the spirit of complete honesty you know you don’t want to either.”

Dammit he was right. I am a horrible person. If he tried to kiss me I wouldn’t stop him. And if he kissed me it would lead to other things and I wouldn’t stop him. But then again Matt was with Leah and we said we would have no limits or rules. But I was not ready to go there. I couldn’t give myself to him. Because thats what it was. When I gave myself to him it would be complete and irrevacable. I would be his and he would be mine. I just realized I said when and not if.

“I appreciate it. I appreciate that you aren’t pushing me. Can I ask why? Before Matt left all you tried to do was get me in bed or on the living room floor.”

“Number one I would have taken you to the couch, not the floor. Number two a threat to my mate is no longer around so I don’t feel the need to claim you as urgently as I did. Number three I want to do this right. So yeah. I want to talk. I want to know every secret you have. and I will tell you mine.” He leaned near me and whispered in my ear. “I want to know everything.”

Oh my. I am a horrible person. But right now, I really didn’t care.