Bella MacLeod's Twilight Fanfiction

Survivors

By BetterInTexas

Chapter 16: Honesty

Nashville, Tennessee

“Okay, whats wrong? Kill the wrong person, threaten the President, kill the President? What did you do?” the brunette asked him, standing at the arrival gate in the Airport.

Connolly took a moment, drinking her in as he often did when weeks had gone by without her. Tall, lean but muscular, long straight chocolate hair and green eyes, a body under that black and green pants suit that seemed as if was sculpted from diamond. Every single time he saw her she took his breath away. Of course he told her so as romantically as possible.

“Damn Jess, every time I see you I remember how damn fine you are. I love the outfit. Only your ass could pull it off.”

Jess rolled her eyes. The man did have a way with words. “You are the only one who gets away with saying that, asshole. You didn’t call me at 7 AM and ask to see me then fly to Nashville just to remember what my ass looked like. Like you would ever forget. Something is wrong. I thought you were on assignment on the East Coast and we wouldn’t be able to meet for two more weeks? I have a few safe houses the Feds don’t know about.”

“Don’t need a safe house. Not this time anyway. I’m also not in the Navy any longer, as of yesterday morning. I need your help.”

Every warning bell was going off in Dr. Ryan’s head. Connolly never asked her for help. Ever. He would also never leave the Navy. That was one of the reasons she knew they could never be together long term. He would keep pushing until he died and she should have stayed away but couldn’t. For him to ask for help and leave the Navy, something very, very bad happened.

“Not here. I have a hotel room a few blocks away. My team is out with local PD where I should be. We can talk there.”

Connolly agreed and the two walked out, leaving the busy airport behind. On the drive to the hotel neither talked about Connolly’s problem, instead talking about the serial killer her team was currently chasing.

Once the door to the room closed, she nearly took her jacket off, falling back on their usual pattern of getting to know each other again after a long absence. Instead she sat on the sofa and offered him a spot at the other end.

“No one is trying to kill you?” she asked.

“Not at the moment.”

“Okay… you aren’t on the run from the military, right?”

‘Honorable discharge, decorated hero, metals and all, scout’s honor.” he promised.

“So talk.”

Connolly grinned. “Aren’t you going to say you missed me? You love me? You had a hard time breathing while I was away?”

“I can buy you a Hallmark card if it would help you get to the point. Fine, I missed you and love you. Happy?”

“Yeah, kind of. You are not going to be happy with what I need. I… just keep an open mind, okay?”

“We aren’t having a three way.” she told him immediately. Perhaps Gavin’s BS stories had gotten into his head.

“Oh its worse than that. I want you to quit your job and come work with me… kind of. Not with me exactly…”

“Oh God, you took a mortar shell too close to the brain didn’t you? How extensive is the damage?” Ryan asked, teasingly… sort of.

“Could you just listen to everything I have to say first? This is top secret, so top secret your boss doesn’t know about it. Your boss in Washington I mean.”

That caught Jessica’s attention. “So how much trouble are we going to be in because I know this?”

“None. I was given permission by my… Director I guess, to tell you everything.”

“And what do I have to sign?”

“Nothing. Nobody would believe you if you said anything regardless. I have been doing this over a year and I still have a hard time believing it. I guess a good place to start would be…”

“The beginning?” she suggested.

Connolly moved closer and took her hands. He didn’t doubt she would believe him. Jessica could always tell when he was lying. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

So he told her, everything from meeting J’onn or Admiral Greer, to the missions his team had undergone, the problems with the DEO, the aliens they had killed and the ones they had saved, gotten to refuge.

“Okay, stop for a moment.” she asked calmly, then walked to the mini bar. Pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniels and a small bottle of Coke, she looked at both and placed the Coke back in the fridge. “You want one?”

“You got tequila?”

“I always keep tequila in case you can get away.” Handing him the bottle she turned hers up and it was gone in seconds. “Wow, thats better. Okay, lets get back to the alien adventure story you were telling me.”

“It’s the truth.” he insisted.

“Oh, I know. Why do you think I am drinking? You don’t have the imagination to make this up. So you… aliens are real, have been on this planet for thousands of years, you work for a shape shifting Martian and fight these losers from the DEO but also aliens and you save some and place them in hiding spots around the world. What does this have to do with me leaving my job? Because I just had a whole new suspect pool open up in front of me. One I can’t talk about of course…”

“Because if you don’t come work with us she could go crazy, figure out a way to kill herself or live in misery for the rest of her life.” Connolly pulled out a picture of Kara from his wallet and showed it to Jess.

“She is pretty. Who is she? An alien?” the woman asked.

“Yes. Her name is Kara Zor El and she is from Krypton.”

Jessica stopped smiling.

“So she is a shapeshifter? What does she really look like?”

“She looks like this. Kryptonians are human in appearance and we think anatomically but we haven’t studied her and never will. From what we can tell they are nearly identical except one big difference. Her cells can metabolize solar energy from our sun that give her power. A lot of power. She ran from the West Coast to the East Coast in a couple days right after landing. She was shot in the back by a farmer and didn’t have a mark on her. She emits energy beams from her eyes that are so hot she burned a black bear to death in seconds. She is extremely strong. She arm wrestled Hawk and slammed him through the table and she wasn’t even trying. She can see through walls, hear things for miles and… she can fly.”

Jessica took another moment to look at the photo of what could be a beautiful little girl in any small American town.

“Okay…”

“And she did all this taking care of a one year old who escaped with her. The boy is her cousin. Her planet, it blew up Jess. I don’t mean a lot of eruptions and lava, I mean it literally blew up. Her parents and the baby’s parents sent them here to live. She escaped moments before the planet was gone forever. She heard the explosion. Everything she ever knew, every one, it… was all gone. She landed here and ran. A girl found her in a cave, took care of her and eventually told her parents who took the girl and baby in. Thats when I found them finally. We had been looking for her since she landed, trying to keep the DEO off of them. We knew from the pod that it was most likely a young child and an infant. I found her and we helped get her papers, she learned English pretty good.”

“She can’t be worse than you.”

“Fair point. I speak great Texan though. Look, it gets worse.” Connolly went on to tell her about Kara’s aunt and uncle, the explosion she saved Alex from, the panic attacks, the nightmares. Connolly told her about the attack by Henshaw’s team, the death she had witnessed around her and about Kara nearly killing Henshaw herself. He finished with the phone call Alex had with J’onn and what both of them thought this could mean.

“There is also… there was an incident where she hurt herself because she planned to find and kill her uncle or force him to kill her so her aunt would kill him. She said she wanted to see if she could hurt him so she tested it on herself. I’m not sure if that was her only reason.” the man admitted.

“How in the hell could she hurt herself? It sounds like she is invincible.”

“She has gotten very good at controlling her heat vision. It does work on her own body. She heals in minutes…”

“Thats worse.” Jessica muttered, standing and walking back to the bar. Pouring herself a few shots of vodka, she took a moment.

“I’m not a therapist.”

“You’re a great psychologist.” Connolly countered.

“I chase psychos for a living and sleep with one when I have time.”

“That just hurt all three of my feelings. Jess, you know you can help her. I believe you can. You can do this. No one else would even believe me. Despite all the powers this girl has she is just that. A little girl who has lost everything and had a huge burden put on her. She has to be an emotional wreck. She, that whole family needs you. The Danvers are doing a great thing and Alex is so dedicated to her, she talked her down from killing a man who had threatened them all. But all the love isn’t going to matter if this isn’t handled right and you know this. She will never be a danger to others. She just won’t, it isn’t in her. If it was she would have fried Henshaw. But she could grow up to be a danger to herself. I don’t want to see this kid burn herself to death or fly off into space one day trying to kill herself.”

Jessica saw the desperation in his eyes. “This is close to home for you isn’t it? So you killed the Director of a Federal Agency and your boss, the dead Admiral who was actually a Martian is now the director and you are working for him. How is the family protected? I know you aren’t leaving it alone now that Henshaw is out of the picture.”

“Two of us are setting up house in Midvale. We will rotate in and out but Dante will always be one of them until she has complete control over these beams. I will probably be there quite a bit myself. If you come aboard, you can stay there.”

“With you? We would live together?”

Connolly shrugged his shoulders. “I can get you your own place if you want.” he offered. “But yeah, I would want you to live with me. I can operate out of anywhere. We can be alone… hell Jess we had talked about this before. If I ever quit…”

“And I never thought you would actually quit. I never thought I would. I never thought… wow Connolly, you sure know how to blow up a girl’s world in a day.”

“Yeah, I know. Look, I love you and we can be whatever you want, its up to you but it doesn’t matter. This kid, she needs you, Jess. She matters, they all do. You may not be a professional therapist, but you know a hell of a lot more than any of us do.”

“I’ll do it.” she told him. “On a couple of conditions.”

“Name them.” he agreed immediately.

“Dante can have whatever house he wants. You don’t rotate. We have our own place. If I am giving up a career for this, we are going to see if our past talks were just talks or something is there. We’ve been at this for three years. Maybe I miss you as much as you miss me. We have our own place. If you want to fight ET, you can do it from Midvale.”

“Done.” Connolly agreed, trying to ignore the fact that he just agreed to live with a woman for the first time in his life. “Anything else?”

“Yes, the whole family has to know and participate. It isn’t enough for me to just work with Kara. The entire dynamic has to change. Two new children, one a baby and one a severely emotionally traumatized girl, just dropped into this family’s life. They have had their whole world twisted, to the point that armed men invaded their home and were killed on front of them. I need to work with them all and they have to agree to it. I will meet with them all and give them the option. If they all agree to participate then I am in. If they don’t, I am wasting my time. Everything I could do could be undone by a harmless action or word without the actor knowing they did it. They could destroy her emotionally without intending to and she would be too grateful to them to say anything about it. If they don’t want it I am not pushing myself into this situation. It wouldn’t work anyway.”

“Done. I can set it up for whenever you want.”

“I’m not done. I will work for this DEO but no one, not you, not your Martian boss, no one will ever know or ask me how she is doing, want updates or reports. There will be no digital reports, only my handwritten notes that will be kept locked up by me for my use. I don’t work for him. I am not an informant and I won’t turn her into whatever he wants her to be.”

“He doesn’t want her to be…” Connolly stopped, recognizing the look he was getting. “We wouldn’t have it any other way. We want her helped, all of them. These people doing what they are doing…”

“You wish you had someone like that when you were young, right?” Jessica guessed. “You see another kid traumatized, trying to make it, figure out…”

“Please don’t psychoanalyze me now. You have full latitude with this. You won’t answer to anyone and we won’t ask you to see any other agents or aliens or anything. Just her and her family. So we have a deal?”

“Just one more thing. Whatever you are getting paid, I want more.”

“Why?”

“Just so you know who the breadwinner is. Now I guess you have a lot to do and so do I, like resigning in the middle of an investigation. Garcia will jump at the chance to lead. But before we get to work I have missed you. Probably time you showed me how much you missed me?”

“Yeah, we can make an hour or ten. Then I guess I better get house hunting.”

“Don’t bother. Just get a motel room. I’ll decide on one when we get there. I’ve never had a house. This should be fun. Actually this is going to be incredibly difficult. You know this, right? I can’t even refer her to a psychiatrist who can prescribe her anti anxiety medication because drugs won’t work on her.”

“She really likes Pot Stickers. Maybe you can try those.” he suggested.

Jessica shook her head. “You guys really are out of your league, aren’t you? Stick to shooting people. I got this. At least I hope I do.”

Midvale

Kara walked slowly home from school, next to an equally slow Alex. She kew something was up with her big sister and worried what it could be. Was she feeling guilty about keeping her secret? Kara hadn’t used her heat vision on herself in two nights. She hadn’t had a chance to. True to her word, though it was never verbally acknowledged, Alex shadowed her everywhere. The blonde knew her sister stood outside the bathroom door, checked the heat in the room after she showered and never left her alone. She had even accompanied her to the school bathroom three times in the past two days. Sadly to Kara, none of the teachers minded a bit, even expecting it, making the girl feel more of an outcast than usual. The teachers, everyone in the school except for the students from what she could hear, knew about her panic attacks, knew that she was… damaged.

At home the atmosphere was different as well. Eliza had started correcting Clark when he called her Mommy or Momma until Kara asked her to stop. She had realized when she moved in that Clark would grow with Jeremiah and Eliza as his parents. It was natural he associated them with those titles. He barely saw his parents before they were rocketed off Krypton. Had it still been the two of them, the blonde had no doubt Clark would be calling her Mommy or at least the Kryptonese version.

She knew as much time as he spent with Jeremiah, his new favorite play partner and best friend, it would be a matter of time before he called the man Daddy. A mean spirited part of Kara that she was ashamed of, was thrilled at that prospect and hoped Jor El would be able to witness it from Rao’s flames.

Eliza had pushed Clark on Kara more since the night he called her Mommy and reached for her. She asked Kara to do more with him, feed him, bathe him, basically everything Kara had done his whole life, but it didn’t matter. The boy knew Kara wasn’t his mother. She didn’t want to be, but being rejected by her only blood relative and best friend for the past year of wakefulness was tough to take. Kara desperately wanted to… but she wouldn’t use heat vision. She knew Alex would not tell on her, but then Alex would have to lie to her parents. If she didn’t, Kara would be punished and though they weren’t severe punishments by any means, the idea of disappointing the people who had risked their lives for her was too much to bear.

“Whats wrong? I haven’t hurt myself. Why have you been so quiet?” Kara finally asked. Alex dropped her head.

“I haven’t meant to be. I’m just worried about you.” the older girl admitted.

“I’ve been doing what I promised you though.” the blonde argued.

Alex shook her head. “Blondie, I’m not mad at you. I am worried. I know you still aren’t sleeping at night. You almost fell asleep in English class.”

“Shakespeare is stupid.” Kara fairly pointed out.

“Hard to argue that, but you never fall asleep. Your eyes are tired, Kara. I listen to you mumble at night when you do sleep. You toss and turn and I am afraid if I wake you, then you will never get back to sleep. I can’t hold you without you knowing because I don’t feel like getting knocked off the bed. We talked about this. You need help, someone to talk to who knows how to help you.”

“I like talking to you! I do not want to talk to anyone else! I have done what I promised!”

Alex stopped, looking at her little sister, who was now panicked. “Yes and you also promised if I could find someone who you could talk to, a professional, then you would. Remember?”

“Yes, but who are you going to find? Who can you tell the truth? No one! It is too dangerous!”

“I called Vivian.” Alex admitted finally. “She texted me that Connolly had someone to help you. Someone who isn’t a soldier or a Martian. Someone we could trust. She is coming tomorrow morning. Dante is going to take the morning off I guess. I am going to let Mom and Dad know tonight. I wanted to tell you first.”

Kara began to really panic. Someone else who knew? How could they trust this woman? Where did she come from, why was she really coming? Did she just want to meet the aliens? Would she treat Kara like an experiment? What if she just wanted information?

“You didn’t think you could tell me first?” she nearly shouted.

“What am I doing now?”

“You said tomorrow! Less than 24 hours! Why… when did you call? How long have you…”

“Hey!” Alex snapped. “I told you that I would get you the help you need. I know you are afraid to trust anyone but you trust me! Aren’t you tired of living like this, Kara? Wouldn’t you like to sleep through the night? Wouldn’t you like to stop burning yourself for whatever reason?”

“I haven’t done that!”

“Because I am following you around. What if I wasn’t there? What then?”

Kara looked away not meeting her eyes.

“You are having nightmares so real, they feel real to you, including physical sensation like touch and smell. You need help Kara! I don’t want you to just live, I want you to be happy. I want everyone to be happy and I don’t know what to do! I have tried reading everything I can and all I get is conflicting information and I don’t understand psychology. I told you I would protect you and that means even from yourself.”

“You had no right.” the girl seethed.

“Yeah I did, but even if I didn’t, I did it anyway. I love you and I am not sleeping either. I listen to you all night…”

“I can sleep in Kal’s room…”

“Its not the noise, Kara! I have nightmares about you on fire! Burning to nothing, screaming while you are on fire because you pushed it too far! I dream of you in something resembling an X Wing sitting in some space port and the damn place exploding before you can get out! It has to stop! I can’t be with you every second of the day. You are fast enough to get away from me and I know you still want to do it. I can see it in your eyes every time Clark reaches for Dad or you hear a sound from far away that makes you flinch. I listen to you every night and it… has to stop. The only thing I have ever asked from you is to trust me. Right?”

Kara could feel her face on fire, not from anger but embarrassment. If someone new came, the Danvers will want to know why. Alex will tell them. What will they do? Decide she isn’t worth the trouble? Lose Alex and completely lose Kal? Hide in more caves? Run from her aunt or try and find her, face Non, the source of many of her nightmares?

“They will know. Eliza told me not to do it again after the first time in the cave. If she finds out she will punish me or make me leave.”

“I would hit you in the head right now if it wouldn’t hurt my palm.” Alex growled. “She loves you, Dad loves you! Nothing you could do will ever be bad enough to ask you to leave! They wouldn’t let you! Mom was ready to jump off the roof to grab you in the air the other night. Why are you really scared?”

“I don’t want anyone to know! I am different enough! If they find out… they will know… that…”

“That what? That you are hurting yourself? That you eat a quarter of what you used to? That you look like a zombie? You think they won’t figure it out eventually? You think they haven’t noticed? Maybe they are blind to you using your arms like birthday candles but they see the rest. They are just as worried as I am but afraid to bring it up.”

Kara shook her head, fighting back tears. “They will know I am broken! I am not right! I am different enough, Alex. I am trying, I really am but I don’t want them to know.”

Alex let out a breath. She knew Kara’s trust issues. She knew this wouldn’t be easy which was why she put off telling her for so long. “Kara, they know, we all know that what you have been through has…”

“I haven’t had any panic attacks!”

“I’m talking. What you have been through is traumatic. You lost everything… I don’t have to rehash what you have lived through. You want the truth? What happened with Henshaw messed with me a little too. I was scared he was going to kill you, or kill us and take you and Clark to experiment on. I have nightmares about that too, you on some surgical table being cut open while you are still awake. I know you listen, you can probably hear my heart race in my sleep sometimes. I am going to talk to her too. I can be with you or we can do this alone but we are doing this together. You are my sister. Nothing and no one is ever going to take you away from me. If it was just me and bad dreams I can deal but seeing you always tired, always scared, looking like you got punched in the gut every time Clark asks for someone other than you… I don’t know what to do. We have our whole lives ahead of us and I want to see you happy or whats the point?”

Kara turned her back on Alex and dropped her head. She felt the girl’s hands gently touch her shoulders.

“You need this, Kara. We all do. You aren’t alone. If you are messed up, I am messed up. Please try. Trust me. Have I ever led you wrong before?”

Kara shook her head slightly.

“Why can’t I just forget Alex? Why can’t they figure out some way to take away these powers and erase my memory, give me new ones? My mother cried when I left her. She gave me her necklace and smiled but she was crying. Why couldn’t I have just stayed? It would be over quickly and you would never have been in danger.”

“I would have never known you and that is unacceptable. I need you alive and happy. Please Kara, just try? I can protect you, I can learn to protect you from everything but yourself.”

“It isn’t your job to protect me! It was my mother’s and she… she… I have to protect you and Kal and your mother and father!”

Kara began walking away quickly.

“Kara! Where are you going?” Alex asked, trying to keep up.

“To the beach. I need some time. Please Alex. I won’t burn myself, I promise. Just give me… some time, please.”

Alex stopped chasing her and dropped her head. She had to decide to follow and watch or go home and inform her parents that she just royally pissed of Kara by calling their protectors and asking for someone else to be brought in. Deciding since this conversation hadn’t gone well, it couldn’t be worse telling her parents.

Entering the house, she told an immediately worried Eliza that Kara needed time alone on the beach and that she should be left alone. When asked to explain, the brunette told her mother to wait until her father was home. No reason to repeat herself. She sat upstairs staring out the window, waiting. The hours went by and Jeremiah made it home from work with no sign of Kara. In the past Alex would have been worried about Kara running off, but she knew the girl wouldn’t do that now. Now she worried her little sister was in a cave trying to catch herself on fire. Deciding two hours was enough time to herself, Alex marched towards the door. Opening it up she was relieved to see Kara standing on the porch.

“Where have you been? Its almost dark!” Alex reminded her, unable to prevent her eyes from roaming up and down Kara’s exposed arms, looking for any sign of redness.

“I told you I wouldn’t.” the girl mumbled, then wrapped Alex in a hug. “I am sorry I yelled at you. I didn’t mean it. I’m scared Alex. I don’t want to lose what I have.”

“You won’t. I swear. But we are all in this together right? We have to be honest with each other.”

“I know. Jeremiah and Eliza are going to want to know why you called them.”

“Yeah, and we have to tell them. We can’t start keeping secrets between us. You won’t be in trouble, I promise.”

Kara shook her head. “Eliza said she would ground me, if I…”

“Mom is a great biochemist. None of us know what the hell we are doing with everything else. You won’t be in trouble. This isn’t staying out after curfew. We have to be honest Kara. How can we protect each other if we can’t be honest? If I hadn’t caught you, you would have hid it from me. We don’t have secrets between each other but we would have. I know you don’t want to do it but I can’t always follow you and stay outside the bathroom, ready to bust the door down if I think you are in trouble. Trust me?”

“Always.” Kara told her, taking her hand and walking inside. Jeremiah and Eliza were both relieved to see her but said nothing about it, doing their best to give her space rather than forcing her to talk. They had figured out quickly that if Kara didn’t want to talk, she immediately became very cheerful and agreed with everything while denying any negative emotions. Both were surprised when Alex asked for a family meeting. Clark wobbled over to Kara, making her and everyone in the room feel a bit better. Kara held onto him like a security blanket.

“Okay, so,” Alex started, “I kind of made an executive decision. There have been some things going on that need to stop. Kara and I have been having a rough time since, well everything. She… we, aren’t doing well. I called the Martian the other night on our secure phone and told him he needed to send someone, anyone who knew what they were doing. He found someone, someone not connected to the DEO and she is coming in the morning to talk to all of us.”

Alex closed her eyes, waiting for the backlash, the reproaches, something, anything. Instead there was just silence. Opening her eyes, she saw her parents looking at her and Kara but neither seemed angry, just… sad.

Finally Jeremiah broke the silence. “I know you haven’t been sleeping and eating much Kara. But that isn’t why Alex called J’onn is it? She is keeping a secret to protect you, right? Please Kara, we love you. Tell us what is going on. The truth.”

Kara looked away, to the side so she wouldn’t have to see Clark. Alex took the baby from her arms.

“It’s okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. No secrets right? We are all in this together.”

“I’ve brought nothing but trouble to your life.” the girl mumbled.

“And we will handle whatever trouble that comes our way again if it does.” Eliza told her, moving from her chair to sit beside Kara and tang her hand. “Please talk to us Kara. We love you, no matter what.”

Kara shook he her head. “You will be mad. You…”

“No, I won’t.”

“You said you would punish me.” the blonde reminded her. Eliza closed her eyes, regretting that now. Jeremiah had approved of the stricter rules, feeling Kara would feel more a part of the family if she lived under the same rules Alex did. Now he wondered if they had just forced her to hide her emotions and actions. He had a sick feeling he knew what those actions were.

“This isn’t just about the nightmares, is it, Kara? Tell us. We are here for you.”

Kara sighed and closed her eyes. “I can’t stop. It’s the only time I can feel something, something other than… I don’t know why I do it. It makes me feel better but I am ashamed afterwards.”

Eliza hoped Kara wouldn’t say what she thought she was going to say. Kara didn’t. She looked at Alex, instead.

“It is okay. We are in this together. They won’t be mad.” her sister assured her.

“I can’t stop burning myself, I don’t want to do it. I just, I can’t feel anything sometimes. I feel like a machine… I have been…”

Tears poured out of the girls eyes and her breathing quickened. Eliza wrapped her arms around her.

“How bad is it Alex?” the mother murmured, knowing Kara was in no state to talk.

“After you took Clark downstairs when he was upset a couple nights ago. Kara went into the bathroom. The lights were off and I noticed the gap at the floor lit up. She came out and I got her to show me in the bedroom. It has happened before then as well. I told her I would find her help and have been with her constantly…”

“So that is why you are stuck to each other more than normal.” Jeremiah surmised. “How often does this happen Kara?”

The blonde wiped her eyes and sniffed. “Sometimes.” was her answer. “I am sorry. Please don’t make me leave. I won’t do it again. If I have to go, please let Kal stay. He… you take better care of him than I do. He doesn’t need me anymore. He… he doesn’t want me anymore. I used to be everything to him and now he doesn’t even remember our language and I almost killed that man and I have been using heat vision in the house and, and… I broke the window, I could have hurt Alex, burned down the house. Please don’t send me away. I will do better, I swear.”

Jeremiah knelt in front of her and pressed his forehead to hers. “You are never going anywhere. Ever. You are ours. I may never be your father but in my mind and heart you are my daughter. You are never going anywhere. We won’t let you. I am sorry Kara. I am sorry you didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell us. We… will get through this. We are going to talk more. All of us. Kal does need you. He loves you, he is alive because of you. We are… Kara, we are never going to let you go. Do you understand? Are you hurt? Still hurt I mean? Do we need to… is there something we can do? Maybe between Eliza and I, we can figure out a way to heal you.”

‘I am healed. It only take a few minutes.” she told him in a broken voice.

“It’s taking longer though, isn’t it?” Alex guessed. “So am I not going to get slammed for calling the Martian? Kara promised me she would talk to someone but I was afraid if…”

“If this happens, anything like this happens, you both tell us immediately. Please?” Jeremiah begged.

“Sorry.” Alex whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.” Eliza told her. “You did the best thing you could do. You have stayed with her. Kara, whoever this is, J’onn wouldn’t send her if he didn’t trust her.”

“I hope so.” Alex mumbled. She had the same concerns, but felt she had no choice. Taking Clark out of Kara’s arms, the older sister moved aside, so her father could take her place. With Eliza and Jeremiah both holding her, Kara lost it, unable to talk, curling into a ball on the couch. They all stayed in the room, not saying a word until Kara finally passed out with her head on Jeremiah’s chest. The man picked her up and walked her up the stairs, Eliza pulling the sheets back to tuck the girl in. Once she was on the bed, Eliza slipped under the covers in the smaller bed and wrapped her arms around Kara. Kara slept soundly the rest of the night, Eliza staying awake most of the night, her mind racing.

It had been a fantasy. Two beautiful children were dropped into her family’s lives, and just like that, Alex had the siblings Eliza always wanted for her, she had another daughter and a baby to love, Jeremiah had another teenage girl who would wrap him around her finger and a son to bond over male things as he got older. It was perfect.

Except it wasn’t, because Kara had so much hurt and guilt inside her. Eliza had been terrified the night the DEO burst into their home. She dreamed about those men’s throats being cut from behind when Jack Webb and Dante moved from above so quickly, she hadn’t had time to register what was going on. One moment she was certain they were all dead and Kara and Clark would be experimented on then killed and the next, everyone who wanted to hurt them was dead and Kara crushed a man’s foot and had to be talked out of turning him into ash.

That was the first time she really saw the anger in the usually cheerful blonde. Kara was so gentle and loving but underneath there was a lot of guilt, rage and a hundred other emotions she couldn’t begin to describe.

“It’s going to be okay. I don’t know how but it will be okay. I swear Kara.” the woman whispered to the sleeping blonde and closed her eyes, trying to get some rest. Alex for her part, left them alone, instead snuggling up to her Dad in bed, something she hadn’t done in years and feel asleep, an exhausted and worried Clark in her arms. The baby didn’t know exactly hat was going on but he knew Kara was upset. Whenever Kara was upset, he was upset. That was enough for him to be grumpy and restless and now very tired.

The family woke up around 8 and went through the Saturday morning ritual of slowly getting dressed, breakfast, which Kara ate the same amount as everyone else, despite prodding by Alex and Eliza to eat more and then sat down in front of the Cartoon Network channel Clark enjoyed so much while waiting for Dante to arrive. Today would be different. At ten the knock on the door was much lighter. Jeremiah didn’t look towards Kara for security. He was done asking her to use her powers for his own benefit. He had no doubt she had looked anyway.

The man was struck by the beautiful brunette that met him at the door. She was dressed casually in a red and white Stanford tee shirt and well worn blue jeans over brown leather cowboy boots.

“Jessica Ryan. You are Jeremiah Danvers I hope?”

“You are Dr. Ryan?” the man had expected something… different.

“Thats me but Jess works fine. Were you told I would be coming? Please tell me someone told you I was coming this morning.”

“Yes.” the man shook his head and stepped aside. “Please come in. Are you… alone?”

“Yep.” the woman answered, walking inside confidently. The entire family was in the living room, appearing very tired. The young brunette was Alex. She was smiling but it was definitely a reserved smile. Eliza was eyeing her cautiously next to Alex on the couch with Kara close to her other side, while the baby was on the floor, enraptured by the television.

“Good morning, everyone. I understand you were told I was coming? I am Dr. Jessica Ryan. You must be Alex, Eliza, Kara and little Clark of course.”

“Yes, have a seat, please?” the mother offered but did not stand, wanting to keep her daughters and son near. Jessica took a seat in the love seat and Jeremiah sat in his recliner. He reached for the remote and turned the sound off.

“Sorry. I would turn it completely off but he would be a handful. As long as the bright lights are on he is usually content.”

“Not a problem. I… I guess I should tell you all about myself. As of two days ago, I worked for the FBI in the Behavioral Science Department.”

“Like Criminal Minds? You caught serial killers?” Alex guessed. “Thanks J’onn.”

“Yes, sort of like that but we didn’t have the private plane and our cases take longer than 45 minutes to solve. My friend Mr. Connolly filled me in the details of the world around me and indicated I could be of some use here.”

“Why you? I mean why did he pick you?” Alex asked. She was determined to not be jacked around by J’onn any longer. The girl needed to know this woman had some credentials.

“Mr. Connolly and I have had a… relationship for the past couple years. We have been…”

“Hold up.” the girl stopped her. “Jason Connolly is your boyfriend and you are a psychologist who chases serial killers? Seriously?”

“I am not sure if there is a God but if there is, she has a wicked sense of humor. Jason’s boss told him he needed a psychologist or psychiatrist who could be trusted and was not connected to the DEO in the past. He told me what he knew about the situation and the events leading up to now. I agreed to leave my job and work with him, stay in Midvale, under the agreement that I do not report to the Martian who is apparently secretly in charge of the alien hunting organization. I am not a therapist, never have been but I do have a PhD in psychology and he felt I was the best option. What goes on between us, whatever is said, will never be discussed outside of us. Not Hank Henshaw or whatever his name is, not Jason Connolly, no one will be privy to our discussions and counseling. There will be no recording devices anywhere near the room we speak in.”

“I’m sorry.” Eliza interrupted, “but you said you weren’t a therapist. A therapist is what she… I mean we need.”

“From what I understand you are right. At least when you say we. You are also right in that I am not the most qualified therapist. Unfortunately searching the world for a therapist who specializes in integrating traumatized alien children into a human family isn’t an easy task. Since I am going to guess the search will not be successful, I am the best you got. While I have never been a practicing therapist I do know what I am doing for the most part. That said I am not perfect. I can be trusted with the truth. Kara is not much different than a human girl emotionally, I am guessing. But she cannot be completely honest with a normal therapist. Talking in half truths about the events she has survived will not work. Alex, I understand you are extremely close to Kara. Jason said your bond to each other is amazing, not something he would say lightly. Can you explain to a normal therapist that you have nightmares where your sister is taken, experimented on, or do you have nightmares where she is stuck in an exploding space craft? Do you have nightmares where you stand by helpless as she is harmed?”

Alex was instantly tense. “You can read minds?” she asked harshly.

“I don’t have to. If I had a sibling I was close to who had undergone what Kara had gone through those are the types of nightmares I would have. I suppose I was on the mark by your reaction. The big question is, why after months of Kara and Clark living with you and everything that your family has gone through, what was the final catalyst that drove you to call J’onn, Alex? I understand you were quite upset. What happened?”

Jessica noticed Alex wouldn’t meet her eyes, any of them, and Kara was turning red from embarrassment. After a few moments of silence she spoke once again.

“This isn’t going to work. I told Connolly I would only do this if all were in agreement and involved. I cannot treat only Kara. I see a family of five in front of me and the love you all have for one another is obvious. But you have all gone through changes, reevaluated roles, had your lives changed and gone through extremely stressful and traumatic events. She isn’t the only one effected by this. I think you all need help if all of you are going to be happy. This is a unique situation obviously, and that makes it more difficult. You and her are not only dealing with learning how each of you fit into a new puzzle but dealing with different cultures clashing. Kryptonians may look like humans but I have a feeling the likelihood of Krypton’s culture being the same as North Carolina’s culture is pretty low. She is learning about this world and probably still hasn’t come to terms with her former one being gone. The boy Clark, has he started calling you Mommy and Daddy yet?” she asked the parents. Both looked down.

“Its natural. It is a title children will associate with the primary caregivers. Kara who was his primary caregiver on Krypton?”

“I was.” the girl answered.

“How do you feel about not being in that role any longer?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. Jessica sighed.

“Okay, before we start, you all need to decide if this is something you all want. If we do this, we do it together. I am in a different situation than most therapists. I have only one client, this family. I can’t have a talk with Kara and everything will be roses. It doesn’t work like that. I can’t sprinkle fairy dust over Alex and make her nightmares go away, or Kara. I can’t have a talk with you and Jeremiah and tell you how to make everything better and then leave. This requires work, dedication and 100% buy in. If you aren’t ready for that I understand…”

“I will do whatever it takes for my children. All three of them.” the mother stated firmly, Jeremiah nodding his head.

“I just want her happy. She isn’t eating, she isn’t sleeping and I…” Alex started then stopped when Kara looked at her with pleading eyes.

Jessica stared at Kara till the blonde looked at her. “You can’t do this to make Alex feel better. You have to want to feel better for yourself. You need to decide Kara. They are willing but it is your choice. If you don’t want to we can try again after some time. I won’t make you, I couldn’t make you do anything. Just tell me what you want, not what Alex or Jeremiah or Eliza wants. What do you want?”

Kara looked at the floor. “I don’t want… I want to forget everything.”

“Not possible. What else?”

“I want to feel…” the blonde stopped, trying to think of the best word and finding none.

“Better? Happy? At peace?”

The girl nodded her head. “I will do what I have to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I have dreams I think are real. They feel real. I am afraid I might hurt someone one day.”

“So you want to do this?”

“Yes.”

“And we will all be completely honest with each other and me? We work together?”

“Yes, whatever it takes.” Alex told her quickly, grabbing Kara’s hand.

“Then tell me what was the catalyst for your call to Henshaw, Alex. Someone, anyone tell me. You all know and if you can’t be honest about this we can’t very well start yet, can we?”

“I burn myself.” Kara admitted quietly, her cheeks still on fire.

“Okay, how many times? How often?”

“Every time I feel… nervous. I am afraid of having panic attacks and passing out. I am afraid… of a lot of things. When I do it I just feel pain. I… I don’t know why. It hurts and I don’t want to but something is wrong with me.”

“Have you done it more than ten times?” Ryan asked. Kara nodded.

“Would it surprise you to know that some humans do the same thing? That sometimes people, especially people who have gone through or survived traumatic events hurt themselves, even though they don’t want to? There isn’t anything wrong with you Kara. You are not broken. You have gone through some experiences and they have hurt you but you are still here. We can get through this, all of us in this room. I have only been here for a few moments but I can tell you all love each other very much. There are children who go through the foster care system their entire adolescence and never find the love you have found. This means you can heal. Thank you for being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy for you to say.”

“So… when can we begin?” Jeremiah asked.

“I understand the girls get out of class at three but have choir until four? I would like to start with them when they get home. Eliza if you could spare sometime during the day from your work, that would be great. I could talk to Jeremiah in the evening after he returns home. I believe twice a week with each of you to start, but on Wednesday night I would like all five of us to talk. During these sessions it is important that we are honest with each other. Kara, do you believe no matter what is said, you will not be asked to leave if you complain about something?”

“Yes.” she answered quickly, automatically.

“Try again and give it some thought this time, please? It is important that you feel able to say what you feel to everyone without fear.”

“She knows we would never let her go.” the father told the woman.

“No, she doesn’t. Not deep inside where it counts. If you asked her to clean this house from top to bottom with a toothbrush right now, she would because I am betting she is afraid of you being disappointed in her. Kara, I need to know. We can wait on family talks for a while until you feel more comfortable, if you want. There is no pressure.”

“No… I believe they would not make me leave. They would have already. I have brought much trouble into their lives.”

“No, you haven’t.” Elia told her quickly.

“Eliza, stop for a moment. This is what Kara believes. You can tell her over and over again that she hasn’t but until she believes that herself she will just agree with you. She is being honest about how she feels. You are being honest about how you feel. This is good and we can’t discount other’s feelings. Now, what I will and won’t share. What is said in the one on one sessions is kept between me and the person I am with. You can talk about anything, and it will never be reported to anyone or spoken of by me. There is one thing that will be reported to your parents. Kara, therapy does take time and we cannot fix the issues you are having overnight. That said, this does not give you a free pass to keep burning yourself. I need you to tell me if you do it. You won’t be punished but their will be some consequences that will be put into place to prevent you from harming yourself as much as possible. We can all decide on those and you will have input as well because it effects you. One goal is to make you as safe as possible. This may include being with someone at all times until we can be sure you are past the trigger that caused the reaction. Again we won’t do this to punish you but to make sure you are safe. Therefore if it happens you must tell someone immediately or even better before you do it. If you tell me you have harmed yourself, I will ask you to tell Jeremiah and Eliza and if you don’t we can do it together or I can, but they will know.”

“I understand. I haven’t done it in three… two days.”

“That is good. Our goal is zero, right? This family needs you and you need them. You all need each other. You five have a big secret to keep from the world. You can’t keep secrets from each other, right?”

“Yes.” the blonde agreed.

“Kara, I know you feel a lot of shame and guilt when this happens. You probably feel a lot of fear and I am guessing after what happened here in the house with the DEO a week ago you are probably very paranoid. This is natural and I can’t blame you. I would be too in your situation. It doesn’t mean you are broken, or something is wrong with you. I bet Alex has felt the same, haven’t you Alex?”

“Yeah.” the girl admitted.

“Okay. So we are all in agreement then? I would like to take the day, finish moving my things into town. If anyone asks I am a writer on retreat to work on a novel and Connolly is my pool boy. I will be visiting you often because you are helping me with the scientific aspects of my novel. I am not a psychologist nor am I connected to the FBI, DEO or any government agency as far as the public knows. I will be making the rounds in town to introduce myself to locals. Hopefully this will take some of the buzz off my sudden appearance in a small town. If it is okay with you all, I would like to meet here for therapy. I think the children will be more comfortable in familiar surroundings. I would also like to start tomorrow, meeting with each of you one on one and we can go over a final plan tomorrow evening. I realize it is Sunday but I think the sooner we get started the better. Would that be okay?”

“Yes, it will.” Jeremiah told her. “Thank you Dr. Ryan.”

“You can all call me Jessica, Jess, whatever. Dr. makes me sound to stuffy. I am way too cool to be stuffy. I’m a real life Criminal Minds agent, right Alex? See you all tomorrow. Have fun today, enjoy your Saturday and Kara, if you feel the need to hurt yourself let one of them know first. I am always in town and can be here in minutes, okay?”

“Okay.” she agreed with a slight nod of her head.

“Good. Go have fun. I have a house to find and order Connolly to set up. Dante will be by next Saturday to resume your lessons on this heat vision and swimming.”

“I still get to do it?” the girl asked, surprised. “The heat vision?”

“You need to learn to control all your powers, Kara. They are a part of your life that won’t go away. You will never have control of your life until you control them. I understand you are probably afraid of them. I would be too. In theory having super powers sounds cool. The reality is quite different I would imagine. But I also know you have been afraid before and put it aside to do what needs to be done. You are brave. All of you are. I look forward to working with you all.”

Jessica showed herself out before anyone could stand, leaving the five alone.

“So… that happened.” Alex muttered.

“Yeah.” Jeremiah agreed. “Okay girls, its Saturday. What do you three ladies want to do? We have all day.”

Alex and Kara looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders. It was worth a shot.

“We think… Kara needs more practice blending in. She has become a lot more comfortable in Earth clothes and… shopping is an important therapy.” Alex suggested.

“At the Mall… where the Pot Stickers are.” Kara added. “I’m kind of hungry. Also this girl in Choir named Christy had some new jeans and I really liked them. Alex liked them too. I like Alex’s denim skirt. Skirts look… comfortable. We thought it might be cool if we could match?”

Jeremiah dropped his head and took a deep breath, while Eliza held back a smile. “I guess we need to get Clark’s bag together. Looks like we have a long day of shopping ahead of us.”